WHAT TO SAY

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www.WhatToSayToHer.com

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WHAT TO SAY

Table of Contents
1. Introduction................................................................................ 1
2. Getting Ready............................................................................. 8
3. Walking In................................................................................ 21
4. Eye Contact and Body Language................................................ 34
5. Running the Room..................................................................... 43
6. Meeting Women at Night, One Girl............................................... 54
7. Meeting Women at Night, Two Girls............................................. 68
8. Meeting Women at Night, Group Dynamics................................... 88
9. Meeting Women During the Day.................................................106
10. What to Say When................................................................ 123
11. Pulling the Trigger...................................................................131
12. Conclusion.............................................................................144

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WHAT TO SAY

1. Introduction

here is something you are doing every day that turns off every
hot woman you meet. It has nothing to do with what you wear or
what you look like. It has nothing to do with how much money you
make or how many friends you have. It is something that women notice
about you in a split-second, and that they instantly judge you on.
You are hesitating.
Plain and simple, you are not dating the girl of your dreams because you
are hesitating every time you see her, and hesitation murders attraction.
Imagine, for a moment, the girl of your dreams your perfect ten. If
youre like 99% of the male population, this will be a girl that makes
you a little nervous; the one that turns you on and gives you butterflies,
because on some level you see her as being out of your league. Maybe
you know her already. Maybe shes the one that got away, or maybe you
met her through friends. Maybe you hang out with her a lot, and youve
been waiting for it to feel like the right time to make a move. Maybe
you dont actually know her, but you see her around and you wish you
were the guy she was sleeping with. You know that girl.
If you saw that girl walk by in the next five minutes, would you walk
right up to her? Could you approach her, with zero hesitation, and know
exactly what to say to get her attention and make her want you?
Be honest.
Imagine a time you might see that girl. Maybe youre out on a Friday
night with your friends and shes on the dance floor in a circle of her
girlfriends, all of them looking untouchably hot. Maybe shes standing
at the bar ordering drinks and not paying attention or sitting across the
room shooting you little glances every now and then. Hell, you might

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see that girl tomorrow buying produce at the grocery store or standing
in line ordering her morning latte on your way to work.
Maybe you man up and approach her, maybe you dont. Maybe you
come across super confident and charming, maybe you feel anxious
and dont know what to say. Maybe she loves talking to you, or maybe
she feels weird five minutes in and excuses herself to go to the
bathroom. The point is, wherever and whenever you see that girl,
think about what you would do in that moment. Because thats really
all you get: one moment of opportunity. Do you seize that moment or
do you hesitate?
Sometimes its only an instant, and then shes gone. You have all of ten
seconds to make a move, then the girl of your dreams just walked out
of Starbucks and you didnt do anything.
The moment came and went, and you wussed out. Thats a terrible
feeling to walk around with. You feel worthless as a man, completely
incapable of getting what you want. You know that women are attracted
to confidence, but its really hard to feel self-confident when, every time
you get nervous, you fail yourself.
I know how bad that feels. I used to live with that feeling every single
day. Then, something happened to drag me out of my little cave of
self-pity, and I made a decision. I told myself I was not going to be one
of those guys who settles. I wasnt going to just accept that I wasnt
good enough to get my dream girl, and I wasnt going to end up being
alone or settling for a mediocre relationship for the rest of my life. I told
myself I was going to get this attracting women thing handled or I was
going to die trying.
I didnt know how I was going to do that at first, and I felt like all the chips
were stacked against me. I mean, Im just a normal-looking dude. Im
short, Im not very strong, Im balding, and (between you and me) Im
definitely not well-endowed. You wouldnt look at me and think, Wow,
that guy must get lots of women. But at this point in my life, I know how
to approach and attract any woman I want, and I am extremely good at it.

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I spent years studying psychology, relationships and attraction. I went
from having zero female options in my life, to having so many I needed
to write their names in a book to keep track of them. I went through a
period when I was polyamorous, meaning openly and honestly dating
multiple women at the same time (you can learn more about my
polyamory experiences here). It was a long journey filled with a lot
of failure, a lot of experimentation, and a LOT of sex. It was the most
difficult thing Ive ever done, and it was all worthwhile because at this
point, Im dating the girl of my dreams.
My personal goal now is to get every man in the world to stop settling
for a woman who isnt absolutely what he desires. I have worked as a
professional dating coach, a social dynamics and charisma instructor
and a body language expert. I have trained everyone from athletes,
to celebrities, to marketers; from students in their freshman year in
college to men in their 80s.
This book is going to teach you one of the most important skill-sets
youll ever learn: how to meet and attract the gorgeous women you
truly desire, and deserve.
First, lets get something out of the way because theres a lot of bad
advice out there and a lot of misconceptions about attracting women.
This is not a book of pickup lines or scripted routines. If you want those
you can find a million on the Internet for free. Dont worry, Im going to
give you some great lines in this book, but none of them are going to do
anything to change your success with women until you realize one thing:
When you first walk up to a woman, what you say doesnt really matter.
What matters is how you say it.
That is the biggest point I want to make in this book. When you
understand this, it will change the way you approach every interaction
for the rest of your life.
Seeing as how this book is called What to Say, it may strike you as

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ironic to learn that what youre saying isnt really a big deal. In fact,
about 80 percent of communication is entirely non-verbal. In any given
interaction, about 60 percent of the conversation comes across through
body language, and another 20 percent comes across in your vocal
tonality. Only the final 20 percent is comprised of the words that are
actually coming out of your mouth.
This is why pickup lines, in the traditional sense, never work - because
the line is only 20 percent of what youre communicating. The fantasy
of the pickup line that there is one line you can say that will attract
a woman every time you say it is just that; a fantasy. If that were
the case, every guy would be saying that one line all of the time, and
whoever discovered it would have been awarded the Nobel Prize for
Badassery. There is, however, a system that works every time because
every woman is psychologically wired in the same way. This book will
explain that system.
Before we dive into this, Im going to let you in on something it took
me years to realize: women want you to succeed with them. Theyre on
your team. They will give you every opportunity imaginable for you to
walk up, flirt, make conversation, connect, seduce, and sleep with them.
Women want that to happen just as much as you do.
Theyre just not going to do it for you.
And the hard truth is, the hotter they are, the smaller their tolerance for
error, because you are competing for their attention with so many other
guys. Especially in the beginning phase of the interaction, where you
create this wonderful little emotion called attraction.
In these crucial first impression moments, hesitation is like kryptonite
to attraction. And if you dont want to hesitate, you have to know what
to say ahead of time, which is why you picked up this book.

What You Are About To Learn

I shied away from teaching this for a long time.

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I usually prefer teaching the broader concepts of social dynamics. I
want my students to have a deeper understanding of the psychology
behind attraction, and to understand why they are doing things, so they
can figure out how to handle any situation they come across. Id rather
teach you how to fish than hand you one trout at a time.
However, there are some things that just lend themselves to a nutsand-bolts, do this, then that style of teaching, and building attraction
is one of them. This book is going to be very focused on the specifics
of how to approach and create attraction the right way. Meaning: how
to walk up, how to move your body, and what to say when you open
your mouth. You will still learn the why behind everything Im going to
teach you, but this book more so than any of my other teachings will
show you exactly what attraction looks like when you put it into action.
If shes walking down the street toward you, whats the best way to stop
her? What if shes walking in the same direction as you? How do you
walk up if shes standing at the bar by herself? Sitting with a friend?
On the dance floor in a huge group, surrounded by guys? This book
will cover 99% of the scenarios you will encounter on your journey to
meeting and attracting the woman of your dreams.
It took me years of trial-and-error to learn and develop the information
youre about to read. I took every idea I could think of, threw them at
the wall and kept what stuck, leaving me with an entire books worth of
my most effective material. I can confidently say from experience that
this stuff works, and my students will unanimously agree.
Once again, I want to address something head-on here: this is not
a collection of pick-up lines or scripted routines. This is an in-depth
explanation of the psychological principles behind approaching and
attracting beautiful women, which Im going to teach by providing A
LOT of real-world examples.
But of course, the concepts and examples youre about to read only work
if you use them. If you take these techniques and actually apply them,
you will gain the ability to build powerful attraction with any girl you
meet. But I must stress, you cannot learn how to do this without

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doing it. Thats why Ive broken it all down for you in great detail so
youll never again have the excuse that you dont know what to do, or
what to say.

Night Versus Day

The concepts in this book will have two spins: nighttime and daytime.
An approach that works during the nighttime wont work as well during the
day, and vice-versa. The reason for this is that our mindsets are different
in each case. During the daytime, we feel like we cant hide. At night we
have a subtle shift in our psychology because we feel like we can hide.
Psychologically speaking, we feel more exposed during the daytime. We
dont typically have our guard up as much because we feel like everyone
can see us already, and theres no option to hide. Were out there in the
open and it feels normal and comfortable. The average person will be
much more open to having a conversation with a stranger during the
day. Women are not expecting to be approached by men (because it
rarely happens) so they arent as guarded.
A psychological shift occurs in our minds as daylight fades. We feel
comforted by darkness and start to feel like we can hide parts of
ourselves. We also become more guarded around each other. Women at
night, especially in a bar or club, have different patterns on their minds.
A typical pattern guys are going to be coming up to me and trying to
say whatever they can to get me into bed. Most women have their guard
up at nighttime because they expect on some level for that to happen.
Our minds run on different patterns during the daytime and during the
nighttime. This is important to understand because the best way to
approach a woman and attract her, no matter what time of day, is to break
her pattern. Ill be going over this in more detail in the following chapters.
Note: The nighttime distinction doesnt just apply to going to bars.
Honestly, I used to hate bars, but I started to like them a lot more once
I learned how to walk in the door and get any woman I wanted to leave
with me. However, if you really dont like going to bars, thats fine. There

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are lots of other places to meet women at night parties, lounges,
shows, or just hanging out.
However, dont be one of those guys who doesnt go to bars because you
dont think you can find high-quality women there. Thats something I
get really tired of hearing. Most single women go to bars at some point,
and theres no way theyre lower quality at the bar than they are at any
other place you might meet them. Not only that, but bars and nightclubs
are some of the best places to practice these skills because they draw a
high volume of good-looking women to one place.
The only difference between meeting women at a bar or somewhere
else is in how you should approach them. Once you understand that you
can meet women wherever and whenever you want.

How To Read This Book

Treat this book as a valuable reference. Read through the first nine
chapters in order. That will give you the background you need to
understand 99% of conceivable scenarios in which youll meet women.
Chapter 10 What to Say When is a condensed list of those scenarios
and how to handle them. Use that chapter for reference whenever you
need it. Chapter 11 Pulling the Trigger bridges the gap between
the initial phase of attraction and moving into rapport and seduction,
which are outside the scope of this book.
As you read through this book, take notes on anything that especially
impacts you, as I suspect you will have some major light bulb moments.
If you read it all the way through in one sitting, your brain will probably
light up like a Christmas tree.
This book contains all the information you wish you knew the last time
you saw a hot girl and your mind went suddenly, perplexingly blank.
When your excuse process kicked in, and you started thinking of all the
reasons you couldnt walk up to her, make her smile and turn her on the
way you know you can.
This is everything that works, and nothing that doesnt.

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2. Getting Ready

ave you ever gone out to a bar with the intent of being social and
meeting people, walked up to one group who didnt respond well
or didnt seem to like you, and as a result the whole night sucked?
Have you ever been in a packed bar full of women and said, or heard
someone say, No ones here, this bar is lame.
Conversely, have you ever gone out to a bar just trying to have a good
time with your friends, and without even realizing how it happened,
conversations just started opening up for you, your confidence took off,
and women just seemed drawn to you and your group? You know the vibe,
when you feel like youre on fire and everything becomes easy and fun.
Thats called being in-state, and you should feel that way every time
you go out. Most people have no idea how to control their emotional
state, so they leave it to chance. They go out thinking theyll be able to
wing it, hoping to just see what happens. And when faced with any
kind of stress or anxiety, their state drops and their night falls apart, as
if they were frozen by a pair of breasts headlights.
You are not going to do that anymore.
When you are in-state, every social interaction becomes easier for you.
When you are not in-state, you feel a lot of internal resistance that can
and will make your life miserable. The difference, as it turns out, is
all in your preparation. In this chapter Im going to teach you a system
for getting in-state while youre getting ready to go out, before you even
get to where youre going.
When youre getting ready to go out, you should consciously be taking
steps to get yourself into the state you want to be in. Most guys dont do
this. They sit on the couch with their friends, watching TV and drinking
until 11:30, and then go once they are sure the bars are full, thinking

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that pre-gaming in their living room is going to magically make them
social animals once they get there. You might hook up with a lot of
drunk, average-looking girls this way, but how many times has it gotten
you a serious hottie?
When you get to the place youre going, you dont want to be cold, you
want to already be on fire. A lot of guys think that attraction begins
when you walk up and start speaking to a girl. Thats wrong. Attraction
actually begins at the moment she becomes aware of you, which is
usually before you ever open your mouth or even know she is there. Its
typically when you first walk into the room and she sees you, but it can
even take place before that if she hears about you from someone else.
Whenever her introduction to you happens; the moment you become a
blip on her radar. This is the first time she becomes aware that you exist.
And as common wisdom dictates, first impressions are a bitch.
However, you can maximize the impact of your first impression by
understanding how to prepare yourself when youre getting ready to go
out and socialize. Its easier than you think, and its something that 99%
of guys overlook.

First Impressions
Like it or not, people will judge you as soon as they see you. You do this
to other people too. We all do it. Its a necessary device that allows our
minds to comprehend complex social behavior. Your subconscious mind
is extremely powerful. It processes 10,000 bits of information for every
one bit of information that your conscious mind processes. 10,000 to 1!
Its also photographic. It remembers everything, and because of that, it
is exceptionally good at recognizing patterns.
Note: For more on this, I recommend you read Blink, by Malcolm
Gladwell. Its required reading for all my students and it changed my
perception of a lot of things. In fact, it made me re-develop my system
for understanding attraction.

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Now, your subconscious mind cant communicate directly with your
conscious mind, but it does communicate indirectly through a specific
language. That language is emotion. When women see a guy, they assess
him instantly and then have a feeling about him. They arent aware of
that thought process because its subconscious, but thats what always
happens. This is a powerful process and its the one that women trust the
most. Its their gut. Most women will trust their gut over anything else.
If a guy is creeping them out, theyll think, Ive got a weird feeling
about this guy. Thats why they say, This guy is sketchy, rather than,
This guy wont stop facing me with his body or leaning toward me and
being sexual, which is what sketchy means. They dont know that,
because they dont have to. They just have an immediate, gut-level
response to that behavior.
When women first become aware of you, you want that gut-level response
to be a good one. Because like it or not, you actually can judge a book
by its cover (the book being you, of course). And women, especially
very attractive women who have sexual options thrown at them every
day, have developed a very finely-tuned filtering process for what books
they read, and what books they dont read.
What this means is that, when a woman first sees you, her minds filtering
process will file you into a category based on her immediate perception
of your social value.
Notice how I didnt say your looks or your money.
As men, this is great news for us. Why? Because indicators of high value
dont come from how you look, whether youre tall or short, weak or
strong, if youre losing your hair (like me). Things like that, things you
cant change, dont matter. What does matter are your body language
and social behavior.
The perception of your value (and attractiveness) depends on how you
carry yourself, how you respond to people, and how they respond to you.

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If you are a book, these things are your cover. They are immediately
recognizable patterns to her subconscious mind, which has experienced
hundreds of social situations in the past and stored all the details of
them for future reference. A few examples of patterns you might line
up with: creepy guy staring at me, nice guy I could be friends with,
shy guy with no friends, high-energy party guy, hot guy Im curious
about
You do this too. Your subconscious naturally tries to file everyone into
a folder. Thats how it deals with all the complex information it receives
every second, by cutting away anything that doesnt seem important.
Its ruthlessly efficient. It wants things to be insignificant, so it doesnt
have to spend energy worrying about them, and so it tries to neatly
file people away. This is how you can look at somebody and assess
everything important about them in an instant. And if theyre easy to
assess, and you can put them in a folder quickly, you no longer have to
pay attention to them.
If you want to get good at attracting women, you have to learn to break
peoples patterns. When you break someones pattern, you create a
new folder in their mind. That, in turn, forces their subconscious to work
harder, and communicate with the conscious mind, the end result of
which is an emotional response to you.
You want to be different, a little harder to put into a folder and forget
about, because attraction is all about curiosity and attention. You have to
make sure your first impression creates strong curiosity. And at the very
least, if you are going to align with any of a womans pre-determined
patterns, you want to make sure that pattern is attractive guy or guy
I want to know more about or guy who looks interesting. You want
to be acting the way shes seen someone else act before, that someone
being an attractive, confident guy.

Conveying Pre-selection
One of the most powerfully attractive things you want women to perceive
about you when they first see you is that you are pre-selected. This
means that its obvious from your behavior that you have many female

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options. Lets talk for a second about how that actually works. Have
you seen the video I did with the fish at the beginning? In that video I
covered a concept thats really powerful. Its at the core of everything
that we do in order to attract women, and its all related to guppies.
In the animal kingdom, female guppies look to find males that are the
brightest color orange, which is a sign they are the healthiest. The
females want to seek out the greatest odds for their offspring to survive,
so they try to find a healthy male to mate with. But, if two males are the
same color, then a really strange phenomenon happens.
A female guppy will choose to mate with the one male that all the other
female guppies are mating with. They could both be equally healthy
males, but if one started mating first and all the other females saw
that, they will flock to him and leave the other one alone. This is really,
really important. They do this because they cant tell the difference in
orange coloring, so their minds take a shortcut and choose to trust the
judgment of all the other females.
In our society, as men, we are all the same shade of orange.
As a species, we no longer reproduce by the rule of survival of the
fittest. We live in a world of social rules now, the main one being survival
of the socially fittest. So if women cant immediately tell how socially
fit certain men are, they will subconsciously consider the best indicator
they have, which is what are the other women doing?
And if it appears that all the other women want you, the impression is
that you are pre-selected. This creates attraction like nothing else you
can imagine.
The bottom line is, women are all looking for a man that acts like other
women already want him. Everything that Ive ever taught is built around
this. Body language, eye contact, banter skills, its all geared towards
conveying pre-selection. Your first impression on women should be that
you have a waiting list of other women wanting to date you.

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So how does this apply when youre getting ready to go out?
Because if you can adjust your energy level and emotions in the right
way, when you walk into a venue you will automatically give off a vibe
that conveys pre-selection, and gets you a womans radar as an attractive
guy she is curious about.
All before you even open your mouth.
If you do this right, when you actually approach women and start talking,
half the work will have already been done for you. Thats the power of a
good first impression.

Assessing the Situation

When I first figured this out, I realized that if I was able to lift my
energy level to a point just above where everyone else in the venue was
going to be, Id interact with everyone really positively and get great
responses. Everyone that I approached would be receptive and open. If
my initial energy level was off, however, jumping right into interactions
was really, really difficult. The difference, when youre getting ready, is
in accurately assessing the situation.
There are three things you need to pay attention to when assessing the
environment youre about to get yourself into, and youre going to rate
them 1-10 (lowest to highest). The three things are:
1. The volume of the place youre going to. If you dont know
the answer to this, youre going to have to guess. I would say
the number for a typical bar is around seven, which includes
noise like talking, music, etc. The volume for a typical club is a
nine. A coffee shop or a lounge is typically a four or five. Guys
who dont like bars or clubs are typically annoyed most by the
volume and by the second factor: how crowded it is.
2. Crowd. This is the amount of people that are there. It also
changes based on how big the venue is. This is going to

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drastically affect how you approach getting ready, and how you
behave once youre there.
3. Lights. This doesnt necessarily mean how bright or dim
the lights are. Its more of an indicator of how much visual
stimulation is going on. If theres a lot of flashing lasers and
blinking lights on the dance floor, that would be a much higher
number than a dim, candlelit lounge. Important to remember:
when youre in a low-lit environment, people think they can hide
more, so everyone puts on another face and personality. You
have to be comfortable with that and understand there are more
barriers to conversation in that situation.

You want to rate all three of these factors and come up with an average.
For example, lets say one particular venue has a volume of eight, crowd
of nine and lights of three (not very much visual stimulation). Your
average is going to be a six or seven, roughly. An average near one, by
the way, is going to be very, very low key. Ten is extremely, extremely
stimulating, with stuff going on, all the time, everywhere; distractions
all over the place.
When you get the number for the place youre going to, youll be able
to match your energy level to the energy level of the venue, before you
get there. If you dont do this beforehand, youre going to show up at a
different energy level and either appear too eager and pumped up or look
like a total downer whos bored and chilled out. You dont want either.
For most people, the one thing that can easily change their energy and
emotions is music. Music will typically get you into a specific mood,
which is why we listen to it in the first place. Typically, there are three
major types of venues youll go out to, so you will need three different
playlists to get you in three specific kinds of moods. You need to create
them before you go out and listen to them as youre getting ready. This
is really crucial. It may not seem like its that important, but its really,
really important. If youre skeptical, try this once and if it doesnt work,
then never do it again. It will work, though.

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1-2: CHILL
Your Chill playlist is going to be for energy levels 1-2. This is music
thats comfortable, that you listen to when youre at your house hanging
out. You dont want to get too pumped up. If you do, youll look freaked
out when you get to the chill venue. People might start asking you for
drugs
Funny story - when I first started going to bars a lot and trying to figure
this stuff out, I had an association in my mind with being successful and
being really energetic. Id go out to places and be super pumped up,
talking really fast. This changed when I went out one night and I was
talking to a bunch of people, being really friendly. Then I walked into the
bathroom and some guy followed me in to say hey.
There was a guy talking to me in the bathroom. Thats not normal. Girls
do that all the time, but guys do not talk in the bathroom. We dont have
conversations. Heres how it went:

Guy: So, can I get some coke?

Me: What? You mean Coca-Cola?

Guy: No, blow man, come on. Can I get some blow?

Me: Im sorry, I dont have any. Im not doing coke.

Guy: Yeah right, man. Just be cool and give me some.

I realized something that night - if people think Im so energetic that Im

on coke, I was probably doing something wrong. I wasnt aware until
then that I was being super high-energy in the wrong environments.
Im naturally extraverted; I gain energy the more I talk. So as more and
more people were positively responding to me, I started to get more

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energetic and talk faster and louder to the point where people thought
I was on drugs! I had to learn to calm myself down, and I did that by
preparing properly before I went out.

3-7: HOT STUFF

Most venues youll experience are going to fall between three and seven,
and for that youre going to get ready with your Hot Stuff playlist. This
is typically an album or playlist thats not super pumped up, but makes
you feel powerful, happy, and confident like you are the MAN. Mine is
the album Sticky Fingers by the Rolling Stones (the first half, anyways).
I listen to my Hot Stuff playlist if Im going to a typical bar, in which case
I want to stand out. When I listen to this sort of music, Im more likely
to smile and look at everyone on my way there; not so energetic that
Im trying to engage everybody, but enough to draw people to me and
get used to how it feels to get attention. You need to warm up to that
feeling because when you get to the bar, thats what youre going to be
doing. Youre going to be looking at people and drawing them to you. Ill
tell you more about that later on.

8-10: HIGH ENERGY

Your High-Energy playlist is full of stuff that just gets you pumped. I
mean like, really excited. This isnt necessarily music that you like. A
lot of guys dont like to listen to music that gets them super pumped
up. But if youre going to a high-energy place, you need to prepare
accordingly, so use this as a tool.
This is something I used to do all the time when I would go out to
nightclubs with a group of my friends. Wed sit there and listen to a
specific playlist for a specific place that we were going to. If we were
drinking, wed drink a little bit before wed go. We had a specific ritual.
If we were going to a really loud club, wed listen to pumped up, bassheavy music the whole way. Wed be talking to everybody that we ran
into on the way there, just having a great time. We got into a great
mood because of that, which paid off massively once we were there.

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Let me give you an example of what happens if you do this incorrectly.
If you assess your situation wrong and listen to your hot stuff playlist
before going to a super high energy place, youre going to walk in
expecting to get attention, to be looked at. But if you walk into a place
thats extremely high-energy, youre going to blend right into the crowd
no matter what you do. You could be in a Santa Claus outfit, and no one
would notice you because theres just so much going on. So if you come
in expecting to have everyone pay attention to you, youre going to be
super let down. Youre going to feel rejected as soon as you walk in the
door, and its going to show in your face.
For a place like that, you need to be in that high-energy mindset right off
the bat so you can immediately join the party. The high-energy mood will
make you feel comfortable blending into the group instead of standing
out. If you show up and youre not integrating yourself right away, you
cant make anything happen, and you wont be able to run the room,
which Ill talk about later. Once you properly integrate yourself into an
environment, the right first impression has been made, and you can get
to work attracting women.

Plausible Deniability
So, once youve got the right music to get you in the zone, lets talk
about how to specifically get ready to meet women at bars, parties, or
during the daytime.

Going to a Bar
Guys who go to bars to meet girls do not meet girls. Were all doing
that, of course, but in order to do it well, we need to distract our minds
with plausible deniability.
Getting ready to go to a bar is all about distracting yourself. In your
mind, you know why youre going there to meet chicks. Youre not
going there to drink or to hang out with your friends. You can drink
with friends at your house for way less money and effort, and you know
this. So if youre like most guys, when you go to a bar, youll feel this
looming anxiety about wanting to meet women. If you think about that

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the whole way there, youll be investing so much energy and anxiety
into meeting women that when you get there, youll be very outcomedependent. Youll need to meet women, and that neediness will make
you very unattractive.
So you need to trick yourself. You need to give yourself some plausible
deniability for being there. If its a bar thats really chill, you can distract
yourself in a way thats more relaxed, meaning youll have a conversation
with one or two people along the way, listen to music thats relaxing,
think about stuff that has nothing to do with the bar youre going to,
make phone calls to people you know, and have a relaxing, normal,
chilled-out conversation.
If youre going to a bar in the three to seven range, then instead of
calling someone and connecting in a relaxed way, you might want to
call someone and be silly. Call one of your friends that always jokes and
laughs, who you can just be a dude with. Talk to your friends on the way
and get yourself laughing and joking, just having a good time. You want to
distract yourself from the fact that youre going to this bar to meet chicks.
If youre going to a high energy place, youre going to be distracting
yourself in a really high energy way. There will be lots and lots of action
constantly around you, so you want to be ready for that. Youll be looking
at lots of different things. Youre obviously not sitting down doing a
crossword puzzle, or watching TV. Instead, youre out and about, talking
to everybody you possibly can run into. Youre going, Wooo! Youre
high-fiving people you dont know. Youre getting your state boosted up.
Plausible deniability means that no matter what the energy level is,
you have to create a belief for yourself that you are going out to have a
good time, and thats the only reason youre going out. Not even to talk
to people. Just to have a good time. If you think any other reason than
that, youre going to get nervous. And when you get too nervous, you
crash and burn.

Going to a Party
The dynamic at parties is usually pretty different from bars. What you

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want to do at a party is set yourself apart from everyone else and
automatically integrate yourself as one of the hosts, if youre not one
already. The host of the party naturally has high value, and everyone
wants to meet him. Its easy to meet women because you have a very
obvious reason to talk to everyone. Your beliefs are telling you that this
is my party so I should be talking to her.
But what if its not your party? Align yourself with the hosts. This is way
better than showing up and starting from scratch as just another guest.
The way you do this is to come bearing gifts. Always bring something to
the party, even if its just a six-pack and there are 1,000 people. Give it
to the host of the party and not anybody else: Hey, I brought you some
beer (or whatever). This is crucial. It may seem kind of simple, but its
really important.
Next, offer to help if they need anything. Theyre almost never going
to say yes, but always offer. Even if they say, I dont need any help.
Thank you very much, you can say, Okay, let me know if you do. At
that point, you are now on the hosts side. You can go around the party
asking people, Hey, are you having a good time? Awesome. Let me
know if you need anything at all. Talking to the host first allows you
to do that, even though its not your party. This will give you all the
plausible deniability you need to start talking to everyone there with
little-to-no nervousness.

Daytime
For meeting women during the day, if youre going to a park, caf,
bookstore, or similar environment, you almost always want to bring
something with you. You need some reason why youre going. It can be
a book, your computer, your dog, a Frisbee and a friend to throw it to,
maybe a journal. Bring something to give yourself plausible deniability
a reason to go there other than meeting women. You dont need to use
it. It just needs to be there.
Think about this - if you go to a coffee shop and you just sit with your cup
of coffee not doing anything but looking around, youre going to come
off weird. Remember, you want to give the impression that you have a

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lot of options, and if thats the case, you would not be going to a caf to
talk to chicks. You would stay at home and drink your coffee there, with
all of your chicks. Women know this, and they need to believe that about
you in order to feel attraction in the first place.

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3. Walking In

nce youve prepared properly, youll be able to walk into any venue
in the right state of mind. This is crucial because what you do in
the moment youre walking in can make or break your evening.
When you first walk in, everyone nearby will notice you and make their
snap judgments of who you are. You will be making first impressions left
and right, all of which hinge on how in-state you are in that moment.
Everyone elses reactions in the room will then be based on those first
peoples reactions and create a domino effect that can either work for
you or against you.
If you first walk in and people dont like you or have a weird feeling
about you, they will start to react poorly to you. Everyone else sees
them reacting poorly to you, and so they react poorly to you as well.
Not only that, but when you start getting poor reactions, your emotional
state starts to drop, which in-turn creates more poor reactions. It can
be really obvious or really subtle, but people will pick up on how you
are feeling and how people are reacting to you. If your feelings and
reactions are off, it can create a chain reaction of negative impressions
that will ruin the venue and the evening for you.
However, if you walk in smiling and laughing, having a great time, and
immediately get positive reactions from the people around you, this will
register with the rest of the room and create that same domino effect in
a very attractive way that works in your favor.
This is so important that I am banging the keyboard as I am typing it.
Its the difference between having an easy, fun time meeting women
and having to pull teeth to get even a small interaction going. And yet,
nobody does this.
Heres what most guys do: they walk in, not smiling or talking to anyone,
and walk in a single-file line directly to the bar. They stand facing the bar

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and wait a long time for drinks, then they stand there in a circle, scanning
their surroundings and building up the liquid courage to talk to women.
Very commonly, they drink too much too fast, get drunk, and end up
stumbling around and acting foolish. If they do end up approaching
women, they usually come across as nervous and unattractive, or drunk
and sloppy.
Of course, the women in the bar have been subconsciously logging this
the whole time. And the whole time theyve just been standing there
losing value. If you do this, consider yourself immediately filed away in
the average forgettable guy folder. High-value, attractive, pre-selected
guys dont behave this way.
When I walk into a bar and I want be noticed, and well-received, I do a
series of things (that Ive never taught before) that set me apart from
every other guy.

Pumping Your State

The first thing you want to do, right before you walk in the door, is called
pumping your state. Youre going to rush endorphins through your
system right before you walk in, which will naturally give you all the
attractive body language you need to make a good first impression. The
most important part of this is your smile.
There have been a lot of studies done on smiling, and they all came
to the same conclusion: Smiling at people makes them feel good. One
study in particular found that when you smile at someone, the amount
of endorphins released in their system is equivalent to the endorphins
released if they were to walk down the street and find $25,000. Thats
a pretty powerful effect.
Other studies have found that smiling literally makes you more attractive.
They did split studies where they would have a guy walk into a room
without smiling and then walk into another room smiling. Eight times
the amount of women were attracted to him when he smiled.

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Its important to note here that Im talking about a genuine smile, not
a fake one. There are several different ways to smile, and all of them
are wrong except for one. There are lots of tiny muscles in our face that
create involuntary micro-expressions. These are muscles that we cant
actually control and that are activated only when we feel a certain way.
When you fake a smile you try to smile when you dont actually feel
it emotionally you can only engage a portion of these muscles. A real
smile engages all of them, and other people can instantly read that on
your face.
A real smile is something you have to induce from the inside. The
muscles and expressions involved are so complicated and involuntary
that, instead of trying to control the actual smile, you have to control
what makes you happy.
So what I do, right before walking into a place, is to think of something
that makes me laugh. If you walk into a bar and youre smiling about
something that really makes you laugh, youll get an 800% better reaction
from people. You will be liked by eight times the amount of women
that would normally like you. That effect will compound because other
women will see them liking you and theyll start to become attracted
because youll be pre-selected. There is so much going on in this tiny
little cross-section of the night, so much that can make your life eight
times easier and that most guys overlook completely.

Exercise: 5 things that make you laugh

Write down five things that make you laugh every time you think about
them. It can be movie quotes, it can be characters, it can be someone
that you know, something that you say, a joke. Funny TV shows and
comedies are great for this.
One of my friends likes to think about Peter Griffins laugh in Family Guy.
Every time he thinks about that, he pictures Peter Griffin, and he starts
laughing. I used to picture all my organs as cartoons, smiling and talking
to each other, and that made me laugh. Like, Hey, Im the kidney. I dont
know why that made me laugh, but it did. Dave Chappelles stuff always
makes me laugh. The R-Kelly spoof, Piss on You, is especially funny.

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You really only need one thing as long as it keeps making you laugh
every time you think about it. What I typically do is either write it down
on a piece of paper for my back pocket or write it on my arm (I have a
lot of tattoos so it blends in). You can reference this while youre out at
a bar, and it will allow you to put a really genuine smile on your face and
naturally attract more women whenever you read it.
Its really important that this genuinely makes you laugh. If you try to
fake this, it wont work. I mean, if you could fake it, then we would all
be doing it just fine already.
When youre walking into a venue with a group of people, make sure you
are constantly laughing and joking the whole time. Right before you get
in, pull out a zinger that makes them laugh really hard. When everyone
around you is smiling, youll get really, really positive responses from
people.
Badass tip: If you have an iPhone, use the location-based reminders so
you can actually set the joke/line as a pop up notification for right when
you arrive at the bar (I believe you need iOS 5 or greater).

Dominant Body Language

So youre walking in and genuinely smiling. The next thing you want to
do is express dominant body language. If youre smiling, typically you
want to be looking up, laughing and being happy. A lot of guys, when they
experience emotions, try to slouch, or become smaller, or look down to
try and hide it. You dont want to do that, especially if your emotion is
happiness. You want to project that happiness out into the room.
When you walk in, your shoulders should be back and down. Your head
should be up, as if it were a helium balloon tied straight through your
spine. Your chin should pretty much be parallel with the ground. Its a
little bit uncomfortable for a lot of guys to keep their chin up when they
are looking around.
You want to look at people when you walk in (well talk more about this
in the Eye Contact section). You want to make sure that your strides

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are long and that you are not shuffling. When people shuffle their feet,
typically theyre afraid they are going to fall down. And if you start
widening your strides, you may very well fall down. Ive fallen down, but
it was worth it to learn how to walk in a dominant way.
Badass tip: If you do fall down, make a joke about it. Point at the spot
on the ground and say, Have that removed. Thats my banter line for
any time I fall over. I guess its funny that I fall over enough to have a
line for it, but anyway
Maintain dominant body language and good posture for at least ten
minutes after you walk in. As you go through the night, dominant body
language might become more difficult. Some guys dont have the muscle
capacity to really stand up straight, be as tall as possible, and keep their
head up. They start to droop over because they get tired or stop paying
attention. But, if you can do it the whole night, do it. It makes you more
approachable, and women find that instantly attractive and interesting.

The Bar Walk

After you walk in, youre going to warm up the entire room by doing
something I call the Bar Walk. Its a simple list of things you will walk
around doing that will allow you to keep your state up, raise your value
and give off an incredibly attractive vibe to everyone around you.
You can make up your own list or use mine. The point is to walk around
doing things like:
Getting the bouncers name
Finding the bathroom
Finding the smoking area (if you dont mind the smoke, go out
and chat because smokers are always really open to conversation)
Finding an interesting drink on the menu
Going up to the bar to get a drink (or water). Even if you dont

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drink, you need something to hold onto at a bar. Plausible deniability, remember?
Finding one girl whos a Sagittarius (when you start doing this,
youll get hooked. Women love astrology.)
Sending a few text messages
If youre in a bar or club, the second you stop and dont do something or
talk to somebody, your value starts to drop. You become less attractive
the longer youre standing still and not interacting. Most guys dont know
this and end up standing around, drink in hand, committing social suicide.
Instead of letting that happen, you need to have something to do. You
dont want to be running all over the place, but for the first 30 minutes
after walking into a bar, you need to be actively warming yourself up and
raising your value.
This is the process I go through every time I go out to a bar. It takes
about 15-30 minutes for me to do the whole thing; longer if its especially
crowded. As you go through this process, youre going to make sure you
maintain dominant body language and a smile on your face. You should
also say hello to everyone along the way.

The Fake Hello

Heres a cool trick that will raise your value and make it appear as if
you know lots of people. As soon as you walk into a place thats busy
(if its not busy, dont do this), do something that I call the fake hello.
Stand up tall, look over the crowd and wave to a person that everyone
will assume is in the back of the room. Then hold up your finger as
if to say one second or be right there, and walk somewhere else.
Immediately, the impression people get is: this guy knows somebody
here. Youll be getting everyones attention without trying, because it
appears as though youre looking past them.
This is an example of misdirection, meaning that your attention is
focused in one direction and your body is moving in another direction.

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Misdirection is something I use all the time that most guys arent even
aware of, and you can use it to approach somebody without having
any of the pressure of wondering what to say or how to be smooth.
One of my favorite ways to open conversations in a bar is to be talking
to a friend of mine (or someone I had just met) and tap someone on
the shoulder without even looking at them. When they turn around Ill
say What do you think about this? and Ill just let my friend keep
talking. Now were both listening to someone talk and just hanging out,
no pressure. Its a really easy way to talk to people, guys and girls. Ill
get more into that later.

The Drive-by
This is where you walk by someone, throw out a compliment or a banter
line, and then keep going. Youll be going back to talk to them later, but
the initial drive-by is a great way to warm them up and build familiarity.
Its also a great way to start getting out of your head and into a state of
conversational flow.
This is something I do a lot. For example, Ill walk by a group of girls and
say, Hey, youre awesome. Ill be right back, or There you are. I dont
know you, but there you are. Ill be right back.
By the way, thats Austin Powers fantastic line: There you are.
Do I know you?
No, you dont. But there you are. Right there.
Youll find that with every little positive interaction, you start to build
positive social momentum and your state gradually goes up and up.
Drive-bys are great for this because they always go positively. You
throw out something playful and then move on before its even possible
to get a bad reaction. Externally, people around the room are warming
up to you and wondering what to say when you come back and talk to
them for real. Internally, youre getting out of your head and into your
body; into the moment.

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Drive bys are super fun and are a great way to work a room. Well talk
more about working the room in chapter five.

During the Day

One of the biggest fears guys have when they walk into places during
the daytime is being noticed. Our biggest fear is for people to look at
us. If you have that fear, you have to accept it and get over it, because
guess what? Attractive guys get looked at all the time. In fact, anytime
people are looking at you, everyone around assumes youre an attractive
guy because thats the only time guys get that kind of attention. There
is no easy way around this. When you start smiling a lot and displaying
dominant body language, people will stare at you more, and you simply
have to get comfortable with it.
There are a few ways of getting people to look at you when you walk
into a place during the daytime. Essentially, you want to come across as
a loud, gregarious guy with a lot of positive energy, whos talkative and
engaging with anybody who interests him.
Lets say youre walking into a caf. Right before you walk in, you still
want to think about something that will make you laugh (even during
the daytime this is really powerful). When you first enter, take three
steps in, stop, and look around (youd never do this in a bar at night
time, by the way). You want to get people to look up at you. People will
instinctively look up and think Whats going on? I need to be aware
of this person. Even if theyre not paying attention to you consciously,
their peripheral will pick you up and theyll automatically feel compelled
to look at you. You will fill this interesting, empty space in the room,
which is exactly what you want.
As soon as you continue, you want to engage someone. The easiest
people to engage are the staff waiters, hosts, baristas, etc. It doesnt
really matter what you say as long as you talk to somebody, but you
are going to say it about four times louder than you think you probably
should. This is really uncomfortable for a lot of guys. When you speak at
this volume, you convey dominance. You are going to draw people into

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your world. After you initially speak up you can lower your volume, but
be loud when you first walk in.
During the day a lot of people try to lower their volume. Theyre quieter,
and they dont want to be looked at because their biggest fear is that
some guy is going to say, Hey dude, stop yelling! If youre loud enough,
if youre clearly a dominant guy, then no one is going to dare to say that.
A lot of guys choose submission over dominance because its easier. But
consider that, in any given situation, if no one in the place is dominant,
then another guy might step up and make himself the dominant one,
and that guy might be an asshole who doesnt have everyones best
interest in mind. Dont let that happen. Be the cool, fun, dominant guy
whose lead everyone else follows. Always.
After you walk in, continue doing what you were going to do. Order a
drink, sit down, etc. Whats important is that youve walked in, looked
around and spoken up, as if you are assessing whats going on. You are
the dominant, in-charge person who walks in and says, essentially: Is
everything okay in here? Let me see if I need to do anything to make
this all okay. Someone more submissive does not take the lead like this.
They dont think about controlling their environment, because theyre
used to their environment controlling them.
Speaking of controlling your environment, moving stuff around in a
place is another great way to convey dominance. For example, feel free
to pick up a chair and move it to another table where you want to sit. If
you want to push two tables together to sit with someone, do it. You are
the one in charge here.
Once youve walked in like this, something very interesting will happen.
All the single girls at the caf, hoping that someone will come talk to
them, will look at you. Make a mental note to talk to all those girls,
because just like you, they are also sitting around in plausible deniability
mode, hoping to be approached.
Lots of women sitting in public, hanging out or reading, are thinking to

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themselves, Oh, Im just here because I like being around people when
I read. Thats plausible deniability. On the surface theyre sitting there
quietly reading, but on some level theyre hoping a charming guy will
come up and talk to them. Every girl wants that spontaneous, chance
meeting with a great guy. They want to be able to tell this story later:
Oh my God, I was reading a book at a coffee shop, and he just came
over to me. We flirted and talked for an hour, it was amazing. This
is true of almost any daytime approach, and romance novelists and
romantic comedy writers have known this for years.
When you walk in and display dominance, most women who are open
to meeting you will subtly give you attention. Approach those women,
they really want you to! Ill get into specific, direct ways to do that in the
following chapters, but if you want to try this right away, a great way to
approach is to ask for questions and opinions. This is a very good way to
start a conversation if you feel you have nothing to say, during the daytime
specifically. At nighttime, you typically dont want to do this because it
doesnt seem as congruent to why youre there, and incongruence might
as well be a big stamp on your forehead that says creep.
But if youre at a caf or bookstore, you might want to ask innocent
questions to start a conversation. If shes reading a book, ask her how
it is, and start talking about books. If shes working on something, ask
about that. A common question in a bookstore is, Have you read this?
Should I waste my time with it or should I just watch the movie?
If you walk in and arent ready to talk to girls right away, a great way to
warm up and pave the way for a smooth approach is by bantering and
interacting positively with the staff the baristas, waitresses, and/or
other people behind the counter. The best way to do this is to interrupt
their patterns.

Pattern Interrupts
Earlier I went over patterns and talked about how we have subconscious,
autopilot responses to things we frequently encounter.
Consider this eloquent and meaningful exchange:

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How are you doing?
Good. How are you?
Thats an autopilot response.
When people are at work, especially if they have a job they dont really
like, their entire workday is an autopilot response pattern. It makes the
day go by faster, and they can think about more interesting things in
the background. What you want to do is break these autopilot patterns
because it will get you a genuine, positive response. And remember,
when you get a positive response, you will feel great, other people will
take note, and youll create a positive chain reaction that works in your
favor and makes you feel and act more attractive.
Two easy pattern-interrupts to use with someone working: a directed
question and a positive curse.
There is an auto-pilot response to typical questions like How are you
doing? But what about a question like How are you doing today you
sexy beast? You wouldnt expect a stranger to ask you that, and you
would have to consciously think about your response. Thats an extreme
example, but the point is to ask them something different than theyre
used to being asked. Heres a subtler example: How are you doing
today so far? is different than How are you doing today? The added
so far makes people actually think about it.
With people at work, you want to do a couple of things that only friends
do to each other and that people dont do with baristas, waiters, etc.
One of those is to ask how their shift is going so far because thats a
question youd ask your friend.
Hows work so far?
Ah, it sucks, blah blah blah.
The question Hows work so far? is a powerful pattern-interrupt because

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customers dont ask that, friends do. Ive gotten free drinks and free
food just by asking that one question.
What youre doing here is creating a comfort-building, you-and-meagainst-the-world mentality called an us bubble (more on that soon).
This is important if its a woman youre actually interested in because
women at work typically dont date customers. Breaking patterns
and creating an us bubble is a great way to pull yourself out of the
customer folder and into the date-able guy folder.
Another great pattern-interrupt is what I call a positive curse. I might
talk casually about other customers and say something like that guy
is kind of an asshole (make sure there are no kids around when you
do this). Cursing in a positive or funny way, not at but with the person
whos working, is another thing that a friend would do and a customer
would not. Its important that you go light with this and not cuss up a
storm, but doing this at the right moment can really make a difference
in how you are perceived.
If they say, How are you doing? you might go, You know what? Im
freaking great. Thats it. Itll register with them and theyll think, Whoa,
that person just cursed. But its okay because theyre cool, and I can
laugh.
One thing that confident, dominant guys understand and that submissive,
weak guys dont: you are allowed to curse. Were all adults, its okay. You
dont have to be cordial and proper all the time, and you can say things
that might break a few rules of politeness. You should be comfortable
with creating a little bit of tension; its intriguing. Attractive guys are
never afraid to break social norms and be a little edgy, so dont be afraid
to convey that side of your personality.

Weather
One more thing to keep in mind when getting ready to go out during the
daytime: weather is an important psychological factor. People in colder
weather are sometimes less receptive to being approached because

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theyre more bundled-up, and when we wear heavier clothes, we are
subconsciously protecting ourselves from more than just the cold.
Pick up a drink and put it in front of your chest. When you do this, it
creates an instant feeling of comfort and safety. Youre protecting a part
of your chest that is very vulnerable. When you put it down, you feel
less comfortable, like youre exposed. In the same way, when youre
bundled up with a lot of clothes, you feel safer. This is why some people
wear jackets when they dont need to: because they feel vulnerable,
and wearing heavier gear gives them a feeling of comfort and safety.
The reason why isnt obvious. I mean, unless its a bulletproof vest it
doesnt actually make anyone safer. But people feel comforted by it
psychologically.
When you go out during the daytime and its cold, youre going to be
talking to people who have jackets on, and they wont be as comfortable
going into rapport or being approached because they feel as if theyre
hiding behind a barrier.
So, what do you do? You can cut through their defenses by doing the
thing they dont expect: interrupt their pattern by being direct.
Imagine you walk up to a girl bundled up in the cold, and say Youre
the most beautiful girl Ive ever seen. Ive got to sit down and talk to
you for a minute. She knows that you cant see her body very well, so
youre basing all this on her face, which is a lot more real to a woman
as a compliment. No guy compliments her like that when he cant see
her body, and youll stand out immediately if you do that. Why? Because
you broke her pattern.
We only feel emotions for people who break our pattern, period. If you
dont break the pattern, youre going to be forgotten. If you do break
the pattern, youll create attraction, in this case by being bold and direct.
Well be getting into how to do this in great detail moving forward.

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4. Eye Contact and

Body Language

o now you know what to do as soon as you walk in. Lets talk about
the next step in this process, which is maintaining eye contact.
Most guys arent able to do this, or are even aware that its a form
of communication.
Have you ever heard that the eyes are the window to the soul? This is
because we communicate a great deal of emotion through eye contact;
emotion that is extremely accurate. Its very difficult to fake. As I
mentioned earlier, we have a lot of tiny muscles in our face that create
micro-expressions. Most of these muscles are positioned around the
eyes. When youre thinking a thought and looking at somebody, youre
typically projecting that thought to them.
My friend Paul Janka is an attraction coach. Hes a great guy, but hes
also one of the most intimidating guys in my industry. When people talk
to him, they usually get nervous and scared. Im a good foot-and-a-half
shorter than him. Hes really powerful, and hes got an internal frame, so
he usually walks all over people and doesnt really think about it.
The way I control conversation with Paul is with extremely strong eye
contact. If you ask him about me, hell probably tell you that I have a
really powerful gaze. Hes confessed to being enthralled with my ability
to look him in the eyes and not look away because most people get
nervous and do look away.
Ive trained myself to be very good at this because I know how important
it is to hold eye contact, especially when youre nervous. I cannot tell
you how many hot women used to lose attraction for me because I didnt
understand this one fact. Anytime Im dealing with a beautiful woman

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(or any powerful person) I will consistently make very, very strong eye
contact. If I dont, Ill get treaded on almost instantly.
This is because eye contact is the second most powerful indicator of
dominance (the most powerful being body language, as we just discussed).
This dominance is expressed in how you hold eye contact, with whom
you hold eye contact, where you look afterwards, and whether or not
you can express emotion while youre doing it.
Dominance is universally attractive to women. Its important to note
here that I am not talking about being domineering. Being dominant is
about internal power, being domineering is about external control. You
want to keep this in mind because most guys think that dominance is
about controlling things around them. Thats incorrect. Dominance is
about controlling yourself.
The same differentiation can be made between being submissive and
being subservient. Subservience is about being controlled externally,
while submission, an attractive female trait, is about allowing oneself to
lose control internally.

Exercise: Express Something Uncomfortable While Holding Eye

Contact
Heres an exercise that will get you used to the feeling of maintaining
eye contact through discomfort: think of something youre really into
that you would normally keep secret, and tell it to someone without
breaking eye contact. Think of something that you wouldnt want to tell
anybody, but that wont hurt anyone if you do talk about it.
For example, heres something I never tell anybody: I read a comic book
every week, the same comic book, and I wait for it to come out. Ill sit
there and wait for it when it shows up and then immediately read it until
Im done. Its a Japanese comic book called Naruto. I read it every single
week. I never tell anybody that because its totally geeky. Ill be sitting
there reading a comic book thinking, Im nerding out.

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Think of something like that, something that embarrasses you a little
bit, and write it down. Then stand about five feet apart from someone,
look at each other directly in the eyes, and say the thing you just wrote
down. Do not break eye contact.
This is something you have to be able to do all the time. When you walk
into a place and you feel nervous, you dont know whos going to be
there or how the night is going to go. So, you automatically look away
and dont make eye contact with anybody. You have to get used to
plowing through that nervousness and projecting confidence anyways.
You have to be transparent almost all the time because most people can
see through you anyway. Women, especially, have an uncanny knack for
reading your mind.

Eye Accessing Cues

When you look in different directions, you access different parts of your
brain. I talk a lot about eye accessing cues in The Tao of Badass, so Ill
just give a brief overview here.
Typically, looking to the left accesses the creative brain. Looking to the
right accesses recall (memory). Looking up accesses the visual brain.
Looking down accesses the emotional brain.
Ive found through experience that a majority of peoples eye accessing
cues follow these rules. However, a certain percentage of people display
the opposite with regards to right and left, so its important that you
test them before jumping to conclusions. The way to test someone is to
ask several questions that he or she would have no reason whatsoever
to lie about. Like, Where did you grow up? or What color was your
first car? If they consistently look in one direction, thats probably the
direction they use for recall. Another important thing to note is that you
need to learn these directions in reverse. When someone looks at you,
their right is your left, and vice-versa.
The up and down directions you can pretty much take to the bank. I
have hardly ever found them to be inaccurate. Its important to notice

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when someone is looking down, because more often than not it means
they are experiencing a strong emotion. Youll see people do it when
they get nervous. Theyll do it when theyre afraid theyre going to get
attacked. Theyll do it when theyre thinking of something that they have
an emotional association with. Theyll do it when they feel pressure.
They may also do it when theyre extremely happy or excited.

The Mind-Body Connection

If you lead the body, the mind will follow. This is key to understanding
body language and eye contact. If you can control someones body and/
or eye accessing cues (or your own), their mental association with those
body and eye movements will change the way they think and feel.
If youre sitting down right now, sit up straight in your chair. The response
you have when you do this is attention; you become more awake all of a
sudden. Your body actually releases a little bit of adrenaline to keep you
alert, similar to drinking coffee.
This is because youre leading the body, and the mind is following.
Conversely, if you lead the mind, the body will follow. If something makes
you feel comfortable, your body will automatically relax into a comfortable
position. If something makes you feel uncomfortable or submissive, youll
show submissive body language traits like shrugging your shoulders,
making yourself smaller, maybe looking down or dropping your head.
When you lose control of your body, you have to control your mind.
And when you lose control of your mind, you have to control your body.
This is extremely powerful because anytime you get nervous, scared, or
weirded out, you can actually make yourself feel better by controlling
the way you move your body.
Another example of this is the different directions you look for your eye
accessing cues. Imagine for a moment youre having a really hard time
with something. Maybe you just got out of a really intense relationship,
and youre really torn up about it. My advice would be to look up. Not

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figuratively as in, Keep your chin up and be a man, but quite literally, as
in do not look down. Just look up. Remember that looking down accesses
your emotional brain. Looking up accesses your visual brain, and by the
same logic, it cuts off the emotional part. If you want to keep yourself
from being emotional, look up. Try it the next time youre feeling very
sad or otherwise emotional; it will detach you from those sad feelings.
Strange but true fact: People who work a lot with their laptops in their
lap have a lot more emotional responses to their work and to their
computer. This is because they are looking down as they type. So, if
youre going to be sitting down working on your laptop, dont put it on
your lap. Unless you want to start crying over your excel spreadsheets
Controlling your own eye accessing cues is crucial. Reading them in other
people is useful as well, but controlling your own is what were going to
talk about for now. When you make eye contact with someone and then
look down, you are accessing the emotional part of your brain. Most
people look down because they feel uncomfortable emotions from the
eye contact and they want to hide that. Do not do this! When you look at
someone and then look down, its an automatic sign of submission. You
have to train yourself to hold eye contact through fear and nervousness
until it becomes second nature.
Badass tip: When youre talking to a woman, if you really want a headstart over a lot of other guys, even ones who are making solid eye
contact, make sure that you look in her left eye (which will be on your
right). If you look into her left eye, youre communicating more with her
creative brain. Most barriers dont live in the creative brain; they live
in the logical side. You can actually bypass certain mental barriers by
looking in certain eyes, and I typically focus on the left because thats
the creative, more open side of the brain. Keep that in mind.
A lot of guys have a hard time making eye contact specifically because
they cant decide which eye to look at when theyre talking to someone.
Theyll switch back and forth, which isnt as powerful. Maintaining strong
eye contact is easier when you focus on just one eye, and if you have
to choose a side, you might as well choose the left because it will make
things easier for you.

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If you are going to switch between a womans right and left eyes, do it
deliberately because that is actually the beginning of a process called
triangulation. Triangulation is when you look at her left eye, then right
eye, then her mouth, and continue going back and forth between all
three, forming a triangle. Pay very close attention to this. If you do this
at the right time, you can induce it in a woman you are talking to, and
when a woman starts doing this it universally means one thing: she
wants to be kissed.

Facial Expression
Expressing emotion through your eyes also requires a lot of control over
your face. Aside from your smile, which weve already talked about,
your eyebrows are a very large part of this. Whenever you open your
mouth and youre actually saying something, your words are going to
have congruent facial expressions, and most of that comes from your
eyes and eyebrows. For example, if you raise one eyebrow, people
understand that as skepticism. They will take that as you saying Im
not sure if I agree with you. If both eyebrows are up, it means, I want
more of this (whatever this is).
When someones insulting me, do you know what I do? I look directly
at them with raised eyebrows. This is because its more intimidating to
welcome a threat than it is to hide from one. Whenever I do this, people
stop trying to hurt or insult me. Its actually a Kung Fu technique. The
most intimidating stance is the most open stance, in which you can get
hit the easiest, because if youre really going to stand there and invite
attack, then you must know what youre doing. This is also why open
and relaxed body language conveys confidence and dominance.
People intrinsically know that if someone is open to attack, and even
seems to be welcoming it, they must be a total badass.
Conversely, if both eyebrows are down (furrowed), youre blocking
yourself, protecting your eyes. You could do that for several reasons.
Maybe youre confused, or you dont like whatever youre seeing. Or you
could be unsure of something, trying to make a decision.

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If you raise just one eyebrow, you could be conveying amusement or
skepticism. If you dont know how to do that, by the way, heres how
I learned: hold one of your eyebrows still and then move your other
eyebrow up and down. Keep doing that for a while (maybe every time
you get on the toilet or some other routine task). Then eventually, start
to let go and see if you can move just one eyebrow. If youve practiced
enough, your brain will create a new neural pathway to move your one
eyebrow by itself. Its called acute muscle awareness, and if you can do it
on your face, you can learn to express emotion on a level that most guys
will never reach.

How to Use Eye Contact

When you walk into, lets say, a bar environment for the first time, and
youre smiling and pumping your state and beginning the bar walk to
start meeting people, you need to be making strong eye contact with
everyone who crosses your path. If you are getting peoples attention
when you walk in, especially in the way we talked about earlier, then
youre going to have a great ability in that moment to project emotion
through your eye contact.
However, if you constantly look away from people while youre walking
around, youll project a ton of insecurity and completely ruin the attractive
effect you just created.
At nighttime, most guys go into a bar to meet chicks. When they walk
into a bar, the first thing they do is get drinks and then start looking
around for girls. You do not want to do this. You dont want to be looking
for anyone specifically. In fact, the only things you are going to be
looking for are eyes.
Eyes are the only things that should exist to you when you first walk in.
Dont look anywhere else. If no one is looking at you, look at the place
where their eyes would be; their heads and faces only. This is all youll
be doing for at least ten minutes.
This is harder than you think, so youll need to consciously practice this
until it becomes second nature. I used to imagine that all people were

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just floating eyes, and thats all Id look at when I walked in. For my
students who have difficulty with this, I used to take them to strip clubs,
put them in front of the stage, give them 50 ones, and tell the dancer:
If he looks anywhere but your eyes, tell me. The guys would have a
naked woman with a perfect body dancing right in front of them, and all
they could look at were her eyes.
A lot of guys at bars will get extremely distracted, especially by women
who are looking really sexy. They get distracted by the constant display
of T&A, and they start to look around and get completely overrun in
their minds with sexual tension. When that happens, they usually cant
hold eye contact for very long, and they end up turning all those women
off and being perceived as creeps and perverts.
You dont want to be one of those guys, so make sure that when you
first get there, all you see are eyes.
As youre doing the bar walk, moving through the environment making
warm eye contact with everyone you see, it wont be long before someone
holds your eye contact, at which point you need to start talking. If you
just walk around staring at people, youll come across as nervous or
as a creep, so the rule is: if you make eye contact for more than two
seconds, you have to say something. This is crucial in an environment
like a bar. During the daytime its not the case, and well go over that in
a second. But at nighttime its a must because if you make eye contact
with somebody and you dont talk after two seconds, youre going to
come across as creepy.
If you make eye contact for a couple seconds, especially if they smile or
you smile, you have to walk over. You have to be comfortable with this.
If you look at a girl and she looks away, when she looks back and youre
still looking at her, you come across as a stalker or a wuss. So whenever
that happens, you must say something.

The Drive-By
As I mentioned before, one of the most fun, easy, low-pressure ways to
do that is with a drive-by. This is when you throw out a banter line as

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you walk by someone. For example, if Im doing the Bar Walk, I might
walk by a cute girl, smile, and say, Hey, there you are. Ill be right
back. And then just keep walking. Then Ill pass another girl and say
Hey, youre cute. Im going to talk to you in a minute, or Dont move.
Ill be right back. I can warm up the entire room this way, by doing
quick, flirty drive-bys. Think of any sort of quick one-liner that you can
say, while holding eye contact, and then leave.
If you do this for ten minutes after you first walk in, by the time you come
back around and actually talk to people, youve already warmed up 50%
of the room. Theyre already comfortable with you. Theyve already seen
you smiling, laughing, and making solid eye contact. You said something
to them and then you left, it was very fun and low-pressure, and theyve
had time to think about this attractive, charming guy that everyone
is smiling at and wonder who he is. Youve now created a pretty good
environment for meeting people.

Exercise Hold Eye Contact With Everyone You See

Heres a great exercise I challenge you to do. Over the next week as
youre out and about, just walking past people on the sidewalk, hold and
lock eye contact for as long as you possibly can. Dont be the one who
looks away first.
For example, lock eye contact when a person is 10-15 feet away. Lock
it and hold it the whole time youre walking past each other. As you get
closer, youll feel a bit of nervousness coming on, and it will cause you
to do a few things, such as: smile, laugh, look down, look away, fumble
with something, look on the ground, etc. I do not want you to do any
of that stuff. Nothing. Just look at them in the eyes. If theyre looking
down or otherwise not looking at you, then look at where their eyes are.
If you hold eye contact with a girl, I want you to keep looking at her and
stop. Thats it. Stop until one of you says something or until she keeps
going. This is really difficult for a lot of guys to do because the pressure
of having someone look at you and not say anything is enormous. A guy
who can sit in that empty space, in that void, and handle the pressure is
extremely dominant and attractive. And by the way, if shes cute, smile
and say something! More on that coming up

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5. Running the Room

ou may have noticed that we havent actually gotten to the what

to say to women part of this book yet. Dont worry, well get
there. But remember, what to say is only 20% verbal. The rest
is communicated through your body language, eye contact, and the
appearance of being pre-selected, all of which come across the best
during the walking-in and warming-up process. Do this right, and by the
time you actually start talking to that hottie across the room, shell get
butterflies in her stomach because the coolest guy in the bar just came
up to her.
A large part of being charming with women is in the ability to remove all
mental blocks that make you shy or nervous, and fully unleash your real
personality. When youre talking to someone from that state of mind,
your authenticity is palpable and very, very attractive. Now, in which
situation do you think you would have an easier time being your relaxed
and charismatic self: a room in which you know everyone, or a room in
which you know no one? The first one, right?
Most guys understand this basic concept, but they dont put it to work
for them. Instead, they walk into a bar only talking to each other, and
immediately start scoping the room out for chicks, sometimes subtly,
sometimes not. Most guys overlook this entire warm-up process.
Then again, most guys arent that amazing with women.
If youve been following along so far, youll be able to go out at night
and walk into a bar or club, smiling, making solid eye contact, and
appearing very attractive. Most guys, in this state, will point out the four
hottest girls in the bar and go try to talk to them. If that works well for
you, great. You can do that immediately if you want to; you dont have
to continue warming up. But sometimes, just pumping your state and
walking in smiling isnt enough to truly warm you up to the point where

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you can talk with anyone. If, at that point, you still feel a little cold, like
youre not quite ready to just go straight up to the women youre most
attracted to, then use the warm-up system that Im going to give you
in this chapter.
When I teach live programs, I find that Im only truly comfortable in
front of a group under one circumstance: that Ive said hello to everyone
ahead of time. I always try to introduce myself to everyone before I teach,
even if I dont remember everyones name. For really big programs, I
used to have to spend 30-40 minutes before the class started, going
around and talking to everybody in the entire the room before Id feel
comfortable enough to step on the stage and talk. Theres a reason for
that: warming up makes the actual work that much easier.
Your ability to be social is like a muscle. If you go into a gym and you
dont warm up before you start working out, you can seriously injure
yourself. If you go into a bar and you dont warm up before you start
flirting with hot women, you can seriously injure your ego.
I use this warm-up process about 90% of the time when I go out. If I
really want to run the room or interact with as many people as possible
and have a really good time, I will always warm up. This is going to be
straightforward and crude, but its very, very effective.

The Social Ambassador

One benefit of warming up is that it creates pockets of friends around
the venue. As you do the bar walk, everyone you look at and make eye
contact with is getting a sense of familiarity with you. If you do that
everywhere, you create pockets of familiar people throughout the bar.
As you continue moving around, you can actually connect these pockets
and create bigger sections of familiar people, until eventually the entire
bar knows who you are.
This is called running the room, and if you do it right, you can get an
entire bar full of people looking at you, talking to you, and coming to you
like you are the social ambassador of the place.

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A faster and more devious way to do this is called mayor walking.
This is where you walk through a large group of people like a proverbial
politician, shaking hands and kissing babies. You dont really have time
to talk to anybody. You just walk through as if you are their host and
shake hands, saying Hey, how are you doing?, Hows it going?, Hey,
good to see you, Hey, all right! You dont even have to talk to anybody
at all. Just shake hands with everybody and keep moving. Afterwards,
everyone will wonder who you are, and since you just walked through in
a way that only politicians and club owners do, most of them will infer
that you must be somebody important.
Why is running the room like this so important? Why am I telling you to
take all this time and energy to meet everyone, when all you really care
about are the hot girls? Think about it like this: imagine being in a room
with 50 of your closest friends and one girl you dont know, and that one
girl rejects you.
How bad would you feel? Probably not that bad because shes just some
random outsider and you are the life of the party. Now imagine being
in a room with 50 strangers and having one girl reject you. How would
that feel different? You would probably feel much more hurt by the same
thing happening because youd be socially isolated.
Before you start talking to the girls you really want to talk to, befriend as
many people as you can so that later, you are socially resilient to rejection
and stress. The difference this makes in how you feel is astronomical.

The Nighttime Warm-up Process

If you think you dont need to do this in order to actually continue and
not be affected by any possible rejection, then you dont have to do it.
But if you think it would help you then, hell, do it. Because its really,
really easy.
Youre going to start out by talking to three different kinds of people:
dudes, girls youre not attracted to, and staff. This is your warm up
process. The end goal is to treat everyone the same, regardless of

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whether theyre girls you are attracted to or not. And I mean everyone.
Usually this process is what gets me VIP treatment in places because
Ill treat the guys who are carrying dishes or the guys who are holding
the door for me exactly like how I treat the guy who owns the place.
This is called giving value, and its really powerful. I go over it in great
detail in The Tao of Badass, but Ill also go over it here because its really
important when youre talking to guys.

Talking to Guys
A lot of guys actually dont know how to talk to each other in a bar. They
look at every guy as if hes competition. But even at the end of a very
successful night out, you will probably only be going home with one girl
(maybe a few when you get really good). Youre not going to try to get
every single girl in the bar attracted to you, because you dont need
to. What you do need is to get other guys on your side, so that when
you need them, they are there. Youre going to be creating a bar full of
wingmen that, instead of standing in your way, will help you out down
the road.
There are a few ways you can do this. One way is with a drive by compliment
while youre doing the Bar Walk. This would be something like Thats an
awesome shirt. Im going to get that. Where did you get that? Awesome.
Bye. Thats it. You dont want to talk for more than a few minutes to each
guy. Your goal is to maybe get five or six guys in completely different
social groups to feel like youve given them value.
A compliment is extremely valuable. When you compliment someone,
you induce the same emotions that you do when you smile at someone;
that same I just found $25,000 rush of endorphins. Considering that
most guys have no idea how to make themselves happy, when you
compliment them you become the source of their happiness, meaning
that you need to be around for them to feel happy. So if you come back,
theyre going to be psyched, like, Hey, its you again! Were going to
buy you a drink. Trust me, thats almost always what happens.
Note: Some guys are insecure and will think that you are insulting them.

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If you can, you want to find guys who dont look very insecure. In fact,
you really dont want those guys to be friends with you in the beginning
anyway because they dont have a lot of social pull. Even if you do win
them over, theyre like a social dead weight youll have to carry around.
Instead you want to find other leaders, guys who look pretty confident,
and compliment them. Typically, those are high value guys and theyll
happily give you value back.
On the scale of value dynamics, guys like that are tens. Being a ten
essentially means that you only get value by giving value. Lets go
through the rest of the scale so you can get a better handle on how to
talk to different types of guys.

Value Dynamics
This concept changed my life. Its a great model for social interaction
(and also business management). Im going to go over a scale with four
different types of value or confidence levels (there are actually five if you
consider someone who steals value - people who manipulate specifically
to get an outcome that only best serves them but those people are
typically low-lifes, and Im not going to address them).
Six supplicative value. To supplicate means to beg. Sixes are people
who trade their value for acceptance, meaning Let me buy you a drink
and then buying you a drink with the intention that you will like them
for it. Thats supplication.
Seven combative value. Sevens will typically fight someone to drop
that persons value down because they dont believe they can bring their
own value up anymore. We all know these guys; watch Jersey Shore if
you dont.
Women dont actually mind sevens because at least theyre not sixes.
Most guys that hot women meet are usually supplicative, so when they
see guys who are combative, its actually refreshing. These are guys
who think, Oh, I wasnt doing very well being nice, so I started being
a dickhead and it started working. Thats one way to do it, I guess,

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but you dont want to go that route. There are much better ways to get
women than being a dickhead.
Eight competitive value. Eights only feel valuable or attractive if they
can prove they are the best amongst their friends or in a conversation.
These are the one-uppers. If you caught a fish, they caught a bigger
one. If you took a crap, they took a bigger one. If you hooked up with a
girl, they hooked up with a hotter one. These guys need attention and
validation, and they need to feel like theyve won at the value game.
Nines and Tens cooperative value. A ten is someone who gives value
in order to receive. They feel they have an unlimited source of value, so
they give it out to everybody, and everybody gives it back at the same
time. Tens are leaders, and theyre easy to spot because they make
everyone around them feel great. They become leaders because people
who are not Tens cannot create value for themselves, so they follow the
person who provides it for them.
But what about Nines? Why are they on the same value level as Tens?
It depends who you are talking about. If you are talking about other
people, youre talking about Tens. With regards to yourself, however,
always consider yourself a Nine. If you consider yourself a Ten, you will
stop working at giving value because youll think you have all you need,
and you will typically slide back down the scale. The scale is elastic, by
the way. You can move up or down in value depending on how you feel
and behave.
Youre going to be focusing on cooperative dynamics when you talk
to other guys. You want to be a Ten, and to get a lot of other Tens on
your side. These are guys who believe theyre hot stuff and who are
constantly giving other people value. Youll know that youre running
into a Ten because youll compliment them and then theyll compliment
you back, and then youll compliment them again and theyll compliment
you back again. It will become annoying and keep going forever, like:
Youre awesome. No. Youre awesome.
However, you are always going to run into all four different kinds of
guys, so heres how you compliment them all:

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Sixes They want acceptance, so all you have to do is accept them.
Thats easy. Hey, youre cool. Done.
Sevens They want respect. You have to give them a compliment that
conveys respect, such as: You know what? A lot of guys are afraid to
speak their mind, but you do. Thats awesome. I respect that.
Eights They are competitive, and they want to win. They want to be
the best. But the hard part is that you cant play their game with them.
If they beat you, you are a loser in their eyes, and they wont respect
you. But if you beat them, they become angry and shift back down to
combative dynamics. They become very difficult Sevens.
What you have to do is give them a compliment outside the boundaries
of whatever game they want you to play that still allows them to feel like
theyve won value. Tell them theyve done a lot with their lives, and let
them know youre impressed, as in Wow dude, Ive got to go out with
you sometime, you clearly know how to party. It can feel kind of like
value jujitsu with Eights, but as soon as you win them over and they
begin to follow you, they go up in value and become Tens. And thats
exactly what you want, a bunch of Tens following you around.
Tens These are the most fun. You can say anything you want to a
person with cooperative dynamics and theyll try to get you back in a
way thats bigger than what you gave them.
Remember, this is a sliding scale. If you piss someone off, they typically
slide downwards. If you aggravate a Ten too much, hell turn competitive.
If you beat a competitive guy at his own game, hell become a combative
dickhead. If you make a combative guy feel unworthy of respect, hell
turn into a supplicative baby. Under too much stress, you drop down a
number. Sometimes you can drop down several. Keep that in mind.

Talking to Unattractive Girls

Once youve met some cool guys and created value-giving wingmen
out of them, youre going to talk to women you are not attracted to.
This is because almost every guy has an easy time flirting and creating

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attraction with girls he doesnt feel nervous around, but changes his
behavior big time when a hot girl comes around. You do not ever want
to do this.
Look at it this way. If youre playing poker and the pot gets huge, and
there are tens of thousands of dollars riding on one hand, whats the
worst thing you can do? Show your cards. You would never do that. You
dont think, I really want that money so I should show my cards right
now. No one thinks that.
The basic rules of the game dont change when the stakes get raised.
But when it comes to talking to hot women, we do this. When were
really intimidated by a woman, we immediately show our hand by acting
nervous, supplicating, or confessing how attracted we are. Or we fold
by giving up and ejecting before we have to risk losing anything. You
do not want to do that. Instead, you want to banter, flirt, and build
attraction the same way you would if you werent intimidated by her,
which you probably have a very easy time doing with girls you dont find
that attractive. So, talking to those girls is the next step in the warm-up
process, and youre doing this so that later on you can confidently go
all-in on that $50,000 hand of poker.

Talking to Staff
Next youre going to be talking to the staff the bouncers, bartenders,
etc. Remember that they will be operating in work-mode, so to get any
sort of real reaction from them youll have to break that pattern. And if
you can do that, thats good enough. Keep in mind that for guys who feel
very low value while theyre working, like busboys or floor sweepers,
any compliment at all is a pattern interrupt. If you give them some kind
of value, as in Hey, let me know if you need any help, thats huge. I
like telling bouncers, Hey, if theres any fights, call me. Let me know.
Ive got your back. Im tiny, so thats funny. It might not work if youre
bigger, but you get the point. Its a silly pattern interrupt.
When youre talking to staff, you want to make sure that you snap them
out of work mode. Thats how you can compliment them and give them

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value. I dont care what theyre doing, they probably dont like it very
much, so its very easy for you to break their pattern and come across
as a Ten.
Keep in mind that as youre warming up, you cant get rejected by any of
these people. You cant get rejected by guys, and you cant get rejected
by girls you are not attracted to. Their reactions to you dont feel like
they matter. With staff, its the same thing. Thats why youre warming
up with them, because you dont really care about the outcome of those
interactions. All of this is slowly training you to be outcome-independent,
which is huge once you finally start talking to girls you really want, because
with those girls it will be really hard for you to have no outcome in mind.

Warming Up With Attractive Girls

Once youve talked to everyone else, you want to start warming yourself
up with attractive women. Every guy, in his mind, puts women on his
own sliding scale of attractiveness, so if you want, start talking to women
at the low end of this scale. These are women you find attractive but not
intimidating. Start there and work your way up.
Every guy has his own idea on whats the most intimidating to him
specifically, so take some time to think about what this means for you and
map it out. You can go by hair color, height, body type, etc.; whichever
factors you are most intimidated by. Lets say you are most intimidated
by taller blond women. So, you dont want to approach tall blondes right
away. You want to approach other attractive girls first, because if you
jump the gun and feel too intimidated, youre probably going to screw
it up.
The end goal of the warm-up process is to get you into a mindset where
youre looking at everyone in exactly the same way. Thats it. Youre not
trying to go anywhere specific with these interactions. Youre not trying
to push for an outcome. Youre just going to drive-by, compliment, have
a brief interaction, and then leave. Spend no longer than two minutes
with each one of these people as you go through this process.
This is in conjunction with your bar walk. You may go through this for

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10 minutes, or 30, depending on the size of the crowd and how much
you feel you need. In my experience, 30 minutes will get you in a really
good place socially. You will be feeling great, be getting great reactions,
and feel totally comfortable opening conversations.

Nighttime Warm-up Checklist (do this in conjunction with the Bar

Walk)
Spend the first 15 minutes talking to guys:
Cheers five guys
Compliment five guys
High-five five guys
Spend the next 15 minutes talking to girls you are not attracted to:
Cheers five girls
Compliment five girls
High-five five girls

The Daytime Warm-up Process

During the daytime youll be doing something similar to warm up your
social muscle. The difference is, during the daytime people are out and
about, usually in a pattern that is taking them somewhere like work,
lunch, shopping, an errand, etc. If you see a beautiful woman walking
down the street, her mind is probably on work, or the gym, listening to
music, on the phone, or whatever, and before you can even talk to her,
youll need to be able to actually stop her and get her attention (which
well get into soon). Stopping a woman and then carrying a conversation
is the most difficult part of meeting women during the daytime.
To warm up during the day, you need to first get comfortable with
stopping people. Youre going to get people to stop, ask them a question,
and then let them go. Thats all youve got to do. Youre going to start
with guys by stopping them and asking them for the time. It doesnt
actually matter what you ask them, the point is that you stop them, get

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their attention, and then begin talking.
Then youre going to ask how to get to some place. It doesnt really
matter where, but make sure they dont see you asking another guy for
the same directions, or theyll feel insulted.
You could also ask for directions Do you know of a good coffee shop
around here? Then walk in that direction, ask someone else, and continue
to walk and warm yourself up. If you do each of these things ten times,
you will feel completely warmed up and ready to go. You probably wont
even need to do the next part, although I highly recommend it, but after
asking ten guys for the time, ten guys for directions, and ten guys for a
coffee shop recommendation, do the same thing with ten women. It can
be women youre attracted to or not; it wont really matter.
By the end of this warm up process, you will have absolutely no fear of
approaching anybody for the rest of the day.

Daytime Warm-up Checklist

Start by stopping ten guys:
Ask for the time
Ask for directions somewhere
Ask where the nearest coffee shop is
Then stop ten girls:
Ask for the time
Ask for directions somewhere
Ask where the nearest coffee shop is

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6. Meeting Women at
Night, One Girl

kay, so lets talk about meeting women. I dont know a whole lot
about this, but once youre warmed up, youll be in a good place
to figure it out. Good luck!

I kid, I kid
Seriously, lets dive into this. When I first started teaching this, I
encountered a big problem. Most people in my industry, even guys who
are really, really good with women, only teach one specific way of doing
everything because thats what works for them.
Anyone who knows me at all knows that Im not that kind of teacher.
Im a severe options person. I like to have lots and lots of options and
different ways of doing things. So when it comes to meeting women, I
know I cant teach just one blanket approach.
If youve read or watched a lot of other dating advice products you may
have encountered a common problem. Youll encounter several different
techniques for meeting and attracting women that all work and yet all
contradict each other at the same time. If one guy says his way is right,
and another guy says his way is right, whose way do you go with? The
answer is both.
You have to understand in which scenarios you should use which
techniques. If you use one blanket approach, it will work about 5% of
the time. Thats not very good odds. Instead, you want to get that up to
around 80% or 90% using specific techniques, which Im going to teach
you in the next few chapters.

What Every Approach Needs to Have

Were going to go over lots of different scenarios for approaching women,
but each of them will have these things in common:

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A pattern interrupt
A way to relieve objections
A way to create attraction

When you approach a woman, or a group, youll always need to begin

by getting their attention. Something about you has got to stand out. It
can be anything, and its completely situational, but you will succeed in
getting someones attention if they are expecting one thing, and you do
something different. Anything that does this, as I keep coming back to,
is a pattern interrupt.
If you ask me, How do you get a girls attention? I would answer, What
is she doing and where is she? Because you dont get a girls attention at
a bar by walking up to her and going, Youre really pretty. But you can
get a girls attention during the daytime, sitting reading a book at a park,
by saying that. The girl at the bar would be expecting some sort of pickup
line, and your compliment would sound cheesy and lame. During the day,
that same girl would perk right up because she wasnt expecting that at all.
At any rate, the pattern interrupt, the thing that snaps them out of their
waking sleep, is what you want to do first. All the things I teach you are
going to be built around pattern interrupts.
Once you have a womans attention, you want to relieve any objections
or fears she might have about whats going to happen next. A woman
could have a fear that shes going to look like a slut for talking to some
random guy she doesnt know. She could have a fear that youre going
to stay there forever and never leave. She could have a fear that youre
going to be obsessed and attack her physically or be super-aggressive.
These are all common objections women might have when a guy first
approaches, and they vary by situation. When these objections enter her
conscious mind, it can be too late. She will have already made a decision
about you by that point, and shell want to leave. So, you have to be able
to anticipate her objections and overcome them ahead of time.
This isnt always a conscious reaction to your approach; it usually happens

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at a subconscious (and instantaneous) level. Remember the body/mind,
mind/body connection. If she starts to wonder in her head whether or not
youre going to be staying there forever or whether or not youre going
to be physically aggressive toward her, shes going to start to physically
pull away from you. When she starts to physically pull away, shes going
to start to believe she doesnt like you because her body is going to lead
her mind there. Shell think, Im leaning away from this guy, so I want
to get away from him so I dont like him. Shell have an immediate
reaction that shes not attracted to you, and thats not what you want.
Once youve gotten her attention and relieved any objections, you are
going to go about the extremely fun business of creating attraction, and
that is what the bulk of the next few chapters will focus on.
First, I want to address something head on here: you will only get good
at attracting women by actually doing the things youre about to learn.
I know lots of guys who like to study this stuff and never practice.
But you and I both know that you didnt get this book just to learn
some interesting techniques. You did it so you could go out and use this
information to change your life. If you have reservations about doing that,
I strongly suggest you deal with those reservations before reading on.
A lot of the concepts of attraction Im about to teach you are best
described within the context of specific scenarios, so Im going to be
explaining the concepts and scenarios at the same time. If it seems a
bit rambling or hard to follow, dont worry! Chapter ten, What to Say
When, is a more condensed breakdown of just the scenarios. You can
use that as a reference once you understand the core concepts.
Im going to break this up into nighttime and daytime strategies, and
Im going to explain the concrete actions that create attraction in every
conceivable scenario in which you might find yourself. This is what Im
known for and what I do best: knowing what to do and when to do
it. In some situations, youre going to join groups of people. In some
situations, youre going to be shamelessly flirting with girls in front of
everybody. In other situations
Well, enough talking about it. Lets just get started.
Lets talk about a girl whos by herself first. If a girl is by herself, she
might be standing up, sitting down, or dancing. In each situation, youre

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going to be approaching using a different mentality.

The Spin of Destiny

Lets talk about what to do if shes dancing. A lot of guys dont know
what to do here, so they end up standing and watching her dance, or
coming up and trying to grind on her. Both of those are bad moves,
and things that girls come to expect. Instead, you want to be playful
and different. A great way to do that is with a move I call the Spin of
Destiny. Youre going to see this pop up a lot. Its something I use all
the time with an incredible success rate.
Imagine you spot a girl whos by herself and dancing. Youre going to walk
up to her, put your hand out as if youre expecting her to give you her hand
(and she will), take her by the hand, and twirl her in a circle. Then, for
just a few seconds, youre going to turn your back to her, look over your
shoulder, and smile. If you want, keep holding her hand and gently pull it
over your shoulder, like shes hugging you. Seems simple, right? Well, it is,
and it isnt. There are a lot of subtle things wrapped up in that one move.

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First, youre going to be making strong, sexy eye contact. As she looks
at you, youre going to smile a little bit. When she gives you her hand,
youre getting a bit of compliance from her. Compliance is something
Im going to keep referring to, and its a key component to attraction.
When she complies with something you want her to do, even something
as innocent as giving you her hand for a twirl, you reinforce your
masculinity and dominance. You are the leading man (quite literally, if
you are dancing). As youll see later on, many small bits of compliance
add up to a massive amount of attraction.
Next, by turning your back to her you are using negative body language,
which is a great way of conveying non-neediness (more on that later).
Finally, youre breaking her pattern by doing something unexpected (on
a dance floor, shes most on-guard against guys coming in and grinding
her ass or otherwise groping and being sketchy). Its even more of a
pattern interrupt if shes not dancing, which is why youll see the Spin of
Destiny pop up again and again in different scenarios.
I also used to call this move the bad attitude washing machine, because
no matter what she looks like before you do this, by the time she spins
around once, shes going to be smiling.
If you do this with two or more girls dancing, youll have to modify it,
which Ill explain in a bit. Because if there are two girls and you do this
with just the one girl you like, youre going make the other girl feel left
out, and shell take her friend away from you.
A couple key notes here:
- Put your hand directly in front of her, in her personal space. She
will feel compelled to take it, trust me.
- Always come underhand, palm up, to create compliance.
- Extend your arm almost completely. If your arm is bent, it might
appear as if you are going to attack her.
- Dont face her directly because too much positive body language
conveys neediness. Instead, turn your chest away from her a little
bit and lean on your back foot. This is attractive, non-needy, and
non-threatening body language, which will relieve her objections.
- Dont lean forward or do any kind of cheesy flourish with your

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hand like you might see in the movies. Both convey neediness
and awkwardness.
- Always spin by pulling her arm across her body. You can also guide
her that way by putting your other hand on her shoulder and turning
her. Its very awkward to spin in reverse, not to mention it shows
you dont know how to dance, and it might damage her rotator cuff.

Creating an Us-Bubble
Imagine you see a girl by herself, sitting down. Typically, theres going
to be another chair nearby, maybe at another table. Youre going to pull
up a chair next to her, sit down, and create an us bubble between the
two of you, which is essentially a feeling of camaraderie, as if its just
the two of you against the world. A great way to do this is by asking a
burning question. If youve ever started a conversation by asking for an
opinion on something, this is an ideal situation for that.

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You might start with something like, I have a question, and Im really
hoping you can answer it for me, or I have a question. I have a feeling
that youre the girl whos going to answer this question. Youre not
going to ask if thats all right with her; youre just going to state that
you have a question.
Heres what this will look like: instead of coming up to her and towering
over her, youll grab a chair and pull it up next to her. This is important.
Dont be afraid to do this. A lot of guys are afraid to move stuff around
in a place that they dont own, but as we discussed earlier, you should
be willing to manipulate your physical environment.
You dont ever want to sit across from her. This actually applies during
any one-on-one situation with a girl. Sitting across from her puts you
at a disadvantage. You want to sit next to her, or at a 90 degree corner.
One of the reasons why is because, from this position, youre able to
touch anywhere you need to touch, and youre able to escalate physical
touch and connection with her while youre talking. Another reason is
that you need to be close enough to touch her to create an us bubble.
Anytime a girl is alone in an environment where she feels like she shouldnt
be alone, like a bar or somewhere theres lots of action going on, creating
an us bubble with her will make her feel much more comfortable, like
she belongs there and isnt just sitting around doing nothing.
Once you sit down, one of the easiest ways to do this is to begin talking
about somebody else. It doesnt have to be bad. You might ask a burning
question like this: I have a question Ive been waiting to ask somebody,
and I think youre the girl whos going to answer it. Do you see those
two over there? You might point to two people, preferably a guy and a
girl, and say, How long do you think those two have been dating, or do
you think that theyre not dating? Do you think this is their first date?
From there you can create a fun little interaction by breaking down
other dates and getting her opinion on them. Now, instead of her being
alone and feeling out of place, its the two of you assessing a situation
together, and since youre so close to her you can physically escalate
this connection over time.

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Notice the pattern interrupt; how this is different than an approach shed
expect. Most guys will walk up and start hitting to her, almost as if they
saw her isolated and thought shed be easy to pick up. This is a mistake
a lot of guys make, walking up to a girl whos by herself assuming that
shes sitting around waiting to get hit on. But shes not. Shes not sitting
there by herself thinking, Im sitting here hoping that a guy will come
over and take me home and sleep with me. A more likely scenario is
that shes feeling awkward and self-conscious because shes isolated in
a situation where she should not be isolated.
A woman by herself needs a few things to happen, and one of those
things is going to be fitting in somewhere; belonging in a situation. If
you can create that feeling of belonging, she will feel like if she leaves to
venture off somewhere else in the bar, shes got a home base to come
back to. That home base, of course, is you.
Thats really, really important. Any time you see a girl whos isolated in
an environment where she wouldnt normally be isolated, create an usbubble with her.

One Girl Standing

Imagine a girl alone, standing at the bar. Youll approach this differently

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than if she were with a bunch of people. In fact, if you approach her
thinking shes alone, but it turns out shes with a group of people and
is just standing off to the side, youll have to switch your strategy
immediately.
There are a few ways of approaching one girl standing at the bar. One
is indirect and is an easy extension of what you were doing during your
bar walk. The other is very ballsy and direct, and very fun. Ill talk about
the indirect approach first.
I might be standing at the bar, see a girl I want to talk to, and open her
indirectly by including her in a conversation I just started. Ill talk to a person
next to me real quick, then tap the girl on the shoulder to get her attention.
Ill step back so that everyone can see each other and then start talking
with them both, turning the conversation three-way. Now Ive got both of
their attention, and were all connecting and having a fun conversation.
Whenever I want, I can turn towards her and box the third person out.

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When you do this, make sure to create a triangle between all three of
you. If youre in the middle of a line, youll be turning back and forth and
feeling like youre playing telephone. You dont want to isolate people.
One thing you can say in this situation, when youve just stepped back
and connected two random people, is, I came here a couple of weeks
ago, and just tell a story about some place that youve been recently.
Like, I came here a few weeks ago and I had to wave the bartender
down. Whats the best way you know to get a bartenders attention
besides showing your tits? Because I dont have any. Not with me, at
least. Dont be afraid to banter and be ridiculous (more on that soon).
Say something silly like, What drink should I get that would best suit
my personality? And dont say red-headed slut. Say whatever you want
but dont say that. It can be really simple and light-hearted.
Heres what happens when you do this: (a) shes going to assume that
you already know the person youre talking to; (b) when she finds out
you dont already know that person, shes going to be really intrigued
because youve turned out to be such a social guy getting great reactions
from people who dont know you. Thats wild for most girls, meeting a
guy who can run the bar like that.
This is the power of the social ambassador; this ability to create instant
rapport by introducing people. Its really easy to do if you dont make it
too complicated.

The Social Ambassador

Whenever Im talking to a hot girl and I feel like the interaction is starting
to die out a little bit, one of my favorite things to do is to find the nerdiest
dude I can find, the guy whos got the least amount of self-confidence
at the bar, and introduce him to my girl. This is usually a guy whos
doing everything Im telling you not to do, like standing with submissive
posture and looking around at chicks. When Im losing a girls attention
and I want to spike it back up, thats my man.
Ill go up and Ill talk to that guy for a minute and get him out of his
shell, then Ill introduce him to the girl I was talking with and walk off.

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This is really great, especially if youre bombing with the girl and dont
know what to do. You introduce her to somebody whos not as good as
you for immediate bipolar comparison.
A lot of guys are afraid to introduce another guy to the girl theyre
attracted to. Dont be afraid of that. In fact, its one of the most powerful
things you can do. There is a 99% chance this guy is not as good as you
are at what you do, and 99% of the time, this guys going to screw it
up. And if he doesnt, thats awesome too. Two people just hooked up
because you introduced them.
This is what Tens do.
This is a win-win situation. If youre attracted to a girl and you introduce
her to a guy, if they hit it off and end up dating and staying together, that
guy loves you and will do anything for you. He is your wingman for life.
He owes you. The girl will also become a great friend and wing-woman.
Trust me, hot girls know other hot girls. They have friends they will hook
you up with, because you just introduced them to their boyfriend/future
husband/whatever.
But, usually what will happen, 99 out of 100 times, is that youll introduce
this nerdy guy to this girl, hell do the exact same thing he always does,
which is to creep her out and be super-needy and unattractive, she will
be turned off
And she will miss you terribly.
Youll be somewhere else and see her looking over and giving you the
help me eyes. Then shell come back and find you. This almost always
happens, and she will be thrilled to be talking to you again.

Castling and Locking In

That was an indirect way to approach a girl standing at the bar by
herself. The direct way is something I call castling (if you play chess
youll understand why in a second). This is one of my favorite things to

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do, ever, if a girl is standing at the bar by herself. It involves a whole lot
of things wrapped into one move: compliance, banter, touch, escalation
and negative body language. And it uses that magical spin move I just
taught you a minute ago.
Just like I described earlier, youre going to walk up to her, take her hand
and spin her. Then, as shes spinning, youre going to switch places with
her. If youve taken dance classes, youll recognize this move where
youre actually spinning and moving at the same time with your body.
Youre going to end up where she was originally: against the bar or the
wall. This is the power position. As soon as you do this, youll smile and
say something cheeky like, Oh, I stole your spot, and thats it. Then
you can start having a conversation, usually a very playful one.

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Sitting or standing somewhere that your back is protected is a power
position. This is a position where you can see everyone else, usually facing
the door. People who have a severe aversion to being weak or snuck up
on, or anything like that, tend to always take the power seat. Theyll sit
facing the door with their back to something whenever they can.
When you lean back on a bar you are in a power position; you are said to
be locked-in. If youre leaning back and a girl is standing right in front
of you, and I mean feet out, hips out, really leaning back on the bar,
everyone else who sees you thinks shes hitting on you. Whether or not
thats happening doesnt really matter, because thats what it looks like.
Usually, shell start flirting with you immediately because its a position
that shes not normally in and that doesnt normally happen (pattern
interrupt!). Its also really bold and funny, so shell start laughing and
flirting with you.
Shes now in a position where she seems like the pursuer instead of
you, and since youve led her body to that position, her mind will follow.
Meaning, she will actually start to feel like the pursuer, and she will start
to flirt with you and chase you. This is a great time to introduce a little
role-play.

Flipping the Script Role Play and Teasing

Every woman in a bar has a pattern in mind that guys will be coming
up to her and trying to hit on her, chase her, get in her pants, etc. Role
playing is a really fun way to turn the tables on that pattern and create
a fun, sexy interaction she wasnt expecting.
Imagine you just castled a girl and are now locked-in, leaning on the
bar in the power position. You might say something like All right, tell
me, is this how you always pick up guys? Whats your best pickup line?
Then you might flip the script and take all the objections she would
normally say to a guy and say them to her first. Look, I told my friends
I wouldnt go home with anyone tonight, or Did you come all the way
over here just to hit on me?

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Flipping the script creates a lot of light-bulb moments for a lot of guys,
because girls have been doing it to them for years. Its really fun to think
of all the things girls might say to you that get under your skin (in a fun
way), and say those things to girls instead. Its like youre 5 years old
again, back on the playground. Girls love when you start bringing back
that childish playfulness.
A lot of girls, when they start becoming attracted to you, will test you
by giving you a little stuff. They want to see how you react to a little
ribbing, to know if you really are that kind of confident guy who can spin
a girl and flirt with her in this fun, cheeky way. Flipping the script is a
great way to stand out from every other guy because it pre-empts those
tests. You are essentially testing her before she can test you.
In fact, everything about the castling move is a way of physically
flipping the script. Youre taking her away from the bar where she was
comfortable and had all the power, and putting yourself in that position
instead. From there you can flip the script emotionally, meaning that
youre starting to voice her objections back to her and give her tests.
Ask her to buy you a drink, tell her to stop hitting on you, tell her youre
not that kind of guy, etc. You will see fireballs of attraction exploding in
her eyes when you do this.

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7. Meeting Women at
Night, Two Girls
Two Girls Dancing

ny time you approach girls dancing youre going to have to match

their energy level. There are environments in a bar or club with
higher and lower energy. If you bring lower energy into a highenergy area, youll get expelled because youll bring that groups energy
down, and no one wants that when theyre out trying to have fun.
If a girl is leaning up against the bar, even if shes dancing a little bit,
shes in a lower energy area. Everyone in that area has a motive; their
attention is all focused away from her and toward the bar, trying to
get a drink. But if she steps out onto the floor and starts dancing, the
energy level goes up and you will want to approach her differently. And
Im talking about the same girl, on the same night, not two minutes
later.
The dance floor is the highest energy part of the room, always. So
when you get out there, all the seriousness needs to drain out of your
body. Only playfulness can exist in that moment. Approaching two girls
dancing is a really common scenario, and Ill give you a few ways to do
it. There is a dynamic between two girls that doesnt exist with just one
girl, so youre going to be playing the girls off of each other.

Double Spin
The Spin of Destiny still works great here, but if you walk up to two girls
who are dancing and you try to spin just one, it wont work. So what
do you do? Spin them both! Do this with one girl at a time because
you dont want the girls to have a moment where they look at each
other and decide what they should do. If that happens, theyll both have
objections. Even if they both want to spin with you, theyll look at each
other, think that theyre going to get judged for doing it, and refuse you.

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Take one girls hand, smiling, and then right when you get that compliance
from her, take the other girls hand immediately. You have one girl, then
you have the other. This creates social pressure working in your favor.
Her friend took it, so she should too. There are a lot of little nuances to
this situation.
If you do this right, youll be sideways to the first girl, and then as soon
as she reaches out and you have her hand, youre going to turn to the
other one as you are starting to spin the first one. Remember, you always
want to spin her hand across her body. Thats the easiest and smoothest
way to spin. Think about that, because you cant control which hand she
gives you, and youll have to be ready for either.

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Dont do this too quickly because its a complicated maneuver. You dont
want to be swing dancing, spinning them off the ground and flipping
them over! I have knocked two girls over doing this too fast or too
recklessly, so take your time.
If youre holding a drink, you can use it to gain even more compliance.
Take your drink and hand it to one girl. If you put it right in her personal
space, shell take it, just like shell take your hand. Get the other girls
hand and spin her, then take your drink and hand it to her so you can
spin her friend. Then say Thank you. Thats it. Now youre in and you
can hang out and have a good time with them. Dance!

Cheers and Woo

This is a very complicated, technical maneuver. Dont try this until you
are absolutely ready. You walk up to two girls dancing, hold your drink
up

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..and say: Cheers! Woo! Pretty tough, huh? Thats it. You do this with
both girls, then you start dancing.
You do not want to start talking to them and bringing their energy down.
One of the biggest mistakes I see guys make when they see two girls
dancing is to go up and try to talk to them. They walk up and say, Hey,
whats going on? Theyre dancing, thats whats going on. Dance with
them! Or, leave them alone. If you try to have a conversation with them,
youre basically saying Hey, instead of having a good time, lets go over
here and talk about stuff. You might as well say, You probably wont
like me because I apparently dont understand you at all. Women are
not very happy with guys who dont get that.
You have to match the energy of the dance floor and the level of
playfulness. You have to be light hearted, fun, and silly. You dont want
to converse with any content whatsoever. Just fun: Cheers, woo! And
then dance. Youll be entering that environment with a playful vibe and
adding some fun to their night. Dont try and pull one of the girls off the
dance floor right away, you want to be there for a bit having fun with
them both. You do want to move the girl you like somewhere eventually,
and well get to that later.

Taking Photos
This is a great one to do on the dance floor because girls having fun always
love to take pictures. You need to preface this by saying something when
you walk up, so they know youre not a photographer coming around
taking photos for a website. All you need to say is something like, Oh
my God, you girls are awesome.
You walk up laughing and high energy, and say Oh my God, you girls
look crazy fun. Hand girl 1 your camera and say, Take our picture. Let
her take a picture of you and girl 2. Click! Then hand girl 2 the camera
and do the same with girl 1. Then take the camera, hand it to somebody
else, and say, Take our picture. You get a picture with both 1 and 2
(you always want to take photos in threes and Ill explain why in a bit).

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This gets you in the door in a way thats conducive for you to build attraction,
so you can banter with them after that, dance, and be playful and fun.
This approach builds in a lot of touch because you are going to be next to
them, maybe with your arm around them when you take the photos. It
also plays them against each other a little bit so that one girls taking a
photo of the other one and feeling a little left out, then they swap. Then
they both end up on the same team when taking the photo together, and
everyone ends up having a good time that revolves around you.
Note: You must be super high energy when you walk up. Youre dancing
around, youre getting out your camera phone, and youre coming across
like, Hey, Ive been looking for girls who are as awesome as you two. Let
me get a picture. Here. Also, hand the camera off as youre saying, Let
me get a picture. Dont wait for a response. This is another compliance
technique. You dont want them to stop and ask themselves, do we want
to do this? Thats a moment of awkwardness you want to avoid. You
want this to flow naturally, so theres no weirdness whatsoever. Theres
no friction. It just happens.

Bump Into Them

Heres the simplest approach of all: bumping into them. This is by far

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my favorite way of meeting women.
First, a disclaimer: Never put your weight behind it when you bump a girl.
Youll knock her over. Youve got to be really, really careful. She can lose
balance easily, especially in high heels. If you get this one thing wrong,
you can really cause major damage. Even worse than getting rejected
is accidentally hurting a girl, and having her and her friends legitimately
pissed off at you and yelling. You want to create a safe environment
where youre being gentle, playful, and youre not coming on too hard.
Doing this right communicates that you are strong but in control. Dont
be a bull in a china shop. Be a coordinated guy in control of his own body.
There are two points to doing this right. One is that you have to use a
bit of misdirection. You redirect your attention to someone else and then
you bump into them. The bump is innocent and okay because you werent
looking. Talking to somebody else while youre doing this is ideal. When
youre close enough to the girl you want to bump, just step backward. Take
a wide step or a cross-step, dont shuffle. Shuffling doesnt have much
finesse. You step backward, leaning with your shoulder. Your shoulder should
hit first when you make contact. It should be really soft and really slow.

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Ill be pointing one way and talking, and then Ill bump shoulders and say
Oh, excuse me. Ill put my hand on her shoulder and keep talking for a
moment, and then Ill take my hand off, turn around, and say, Did you
just bump into me? Are you trying to get my attention or something?
Look, I promised my friends I wouldnt go home with anyone tonight.
Ill start flipping the script and just raining down banter lines.

Banter Lines
Banter lines are silly, content-free things to say when you are flirting
and building attraction. Theres a whole list of them in the Tao of Badass
members area for reference, so check that out when you get a chance.
However, at the end of the day, I would prefer that you create your own,
in your own style. Become a banter line factory. Most importantly, you
will find that when you are in-state and having a great time, banter
comes naturally, without even thinking about it. You banter with girls
spontaneously, and its completely organic and unique to your personality.
Examples (said with a sly smile):
- Youre trouble, arent you?
- Did you come over here just to flirt with me?
- I promised my friends I wouldnt go home with anyone tonight
- Ahem, my eyes are up here
- Did you just grab my ass?
- Did you just bump into me to get my attention?

When you think up new banter lines or approach methods, or essentially

new styles, go try them out in actual interactions with women. But,
whatever you come up with has to work as good as, if not better than,
what I give you here. You dont want to use something that doesnt
work as well just because its different and its yours and its new. Also, I
highly suggest that if it works one time, you keep doing it. Keep testing
it and tweaking it until you get a version of it that works almost every
time. That way you can separate what actually works and what doesnt.
A classic example of testing and fine-tuning is the Spin of Destiny. I had

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to find out the hard way that if I dont turn my body to the side when I
stick my hand out that I dont typically get a positive response. That was
a subtle difference but it had a huge impact on the effectiveness of what
I was doing. I tested that spin move every way I could think of, tweaking
each piece and figuring out what worked, what didnt work, and what
didnt matter.

Two Girls Sitting Down

There are two different scenarios in which you might see two girls sitting
down, and the approach for each one is very different. Any time you
see two girls sitting down, you have to assess one very, very important
thing. That is: are they in rapport or not?

Two Girls Sitting, in Rapport

If they are in rapport, meaning a deep conversation, they are going
to be very difficult (if not impossible) to approach because they really
wont appreciate being interrupted. Never approach two women that are
in rapport, ever. Dont do it. Wait until they are not in rapport anymore.
Unless you are a masochist. Maybe you really like being rejected horribly.
And let me tell you, youll never get rejected like you do when you
interrupt rapport. Girls will blow you off like crazy.

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In order to determine if they are in rapport or not, youll need to assess
their body language. Its actually pretty simple; you can take body
language cues very literally most of the time. If they are facing each
other, especially if theyre leaning into each other, theyre saying Theres
no room for someone else to come in here. If theyre sitting facing out
a little bit, not facing each other directly with their entire bodies, as if
theres a triangle and theres someone missing that missing someone
should be you.
The reason why Im really good at this is because I have trained eyes.
In certain situations, I know not to walk up and try anything. I wish I
could tell you theres something you could do in any situation that would
work regardless. I mean, you could blow through their rapport, ignoring
all the cues theyre giving you, but youre not giving yourself a very
good starting point if you do that. If youre a glutton for punishment
and you know exactly how to recover from a ton of objections, you can
actually break rapport between two women, then recover and keep it all
together and become a part of their conversation. But why do it the hard
way if you dont have to?
As an example, if I wanted to break rapport with two women who were
talking and being serious, what kind of energy level do you think I would
come in with? Not high at all. In fact, it would be a really low energy
level. I would probably be extremely direct, and I would probably give a
ton of reasons why Im about to leave. I would be pre-empting a whole
bunch of objections.
A major objection for a woman in that situation is going to be Man, this
guy is going to stay here forever. Im not going to be able to talk to my
friend anymore. I need to reject him right now so he leaves. Instead
of letting that happen, I may come up and say Hey, Im really sorry to
interrupt the two of you. I dont normally say that because apologizing
for your approach is submissive and not confident, but I might break
that rule when theyre in rapport. Then I may say, Im going to have to
split in just a second, but I want to let you know youre both extremely
beautiful. Ill talk to you in a minute, but I just wanted to say that. Ill
talk to you in a minute. Bye. Then I split. The end.

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They didnt have to say anything. They didnt have to kick me out. I was
completely pleasant. I didnt stick around and run their conversation
off the rails. I simply interjected something pleasant and confident
and then left. And when theyre done with their conversation, they will
see me somewhere else, talking to other people and giving off that
attractive vibe Ive taught you to build up, and they will be very ready
to talk to me.

Two Girls Sitting, Not in Rapport

So what if you see two girls sitting and theyre not in rapport? If theyre
not facing each other with their bodies, especially their legs, theyre
not in rapport. In this case, you can use the same castling maneuver
you would use for one girl standing at the bar. But, instead of switching
spots and leaning against the bar, youre going to take one girls seat.
This is a very ballsy approach, but Ive found that when youre approaching
two girls sitting down, you have to be ballsy because its very obvious
why youre coming over. Youre coming over to flirt with them, and you
have to own it.
I understand a lot of guys reservations here. The first time I did this, I
was sure it wasnt going to work. I had to get her to stand up, spin her,
and steal her seat. I was worried about a million different things. What
if shes not going to want to stand up? What if she gets really mad?
What if her friend yells at me? But then I started doing it, and it started
working really, really well. Every time.
Heres what you do: walk up and put your hand out, turning sideways
to her and leaning back (less pressure and neediness). Youll be smiling,
of course. Spread your feet out pretty wide and lean on your back foot,
and when she takes your hand, gently pull her up out of the seat, spin
her, and smoothly switch places with her, just like the castling move I
described earlier. The difference here is that youre really leaning back
with your body to pull her up from a seated position. Then, after you
spin her, you sit down in her seat!

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You may laugh for a second and say, I stole your seat! Then get up and
say, Im just kidding, pull up another chair, sit down, and join them.
Youve now opened these two girls by being more ballsy and playful than
any other guy theyve met that night (or ever).
If you are wondering which of the two girls to pick, try the one that is
sitting lower in her seat; the one thats sitting smaller. This is another
literal body language cue. People who are feeling more submissive sit
lower in their seat than the people around them. Their heads are lower.
With two girls, the one sitting lower will look to the other one for approval
because shes not leading the interaction; the other one is calling the
shots. If thats the case, youre going to have to acknowledge the leader
first. Wink at her, or nod, or smile. Then spin her friend.
If you dont do that, it will backfire. The more supplicative girl will wonder
Should I do this? Shell look over at the mother hen, so to speak, and
if that girl doesnt know if she can trust you, she wont let her get up.

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Youll get a response like, No, no, I cant, I cant. Sometimes theres
just too much stuff happening, and you wont realize thats whats going
on, but thats usually the case. You have to be able to recognize the
different dynamics going on between the two girls.
Once youve opened the two girls this way, pull up a chair and sit down
with them. You can sit in the middle if theres room for you to fit, or on
the side. Understand that if you approach from one side, youre going
to be isolating the girl on the far side, so you need to make sure youre
giving her enough attention or shell give you a lot of resistance.
If you dont know what to say, you can create a specific reason for sitting
down with them. For example: Can you girls pretend to talk to me for a
second because this girl over here is trying to jump my bones, and I really
want her to leave me alone. Can you save me for a minute until she leaves
me alone? Thats an easy, safe line that relieves their objections and
allows you to smoothly begin a conversation with little to no awkwardness
or rejection. Ive never met a girl that said no to that, not once.
That line doesnt have to be made up, by the way. Anytime you have
a girl youre not attracted to whos all over you, use that as a way to
approach two women who you are attracted to. If youre in a situation
that you dont want, always be thinking of ways to leverage it to what
you do want. Any girl who likes you in a bar, or any social environment,
is always good for you. You never want to let that die out without first
using it to your social advantage.
Heres another thing you can say to start a conversation immediately:
Do you know anything about astrology? This is the best question you
can ever ask women. I have a question. Do either of you know anything
about astrology? It doesnt matter what the answer is, but its usually
yes. Okay. Im a Gemini. Whats the most compatible sign for me? Ive
heard it all over the board. You can flirt with them if theyre a different
sign. Oh, Im not going to be compatible with you. Wed fight all the
time and I would win. There are a hundred different ways you could
banter about astrology and I highly suggest you try it.

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Approaching From the Side
If you see two girls sitting next to each other and you want to come
from the side, typically what you should do is sit down, engage one, and
then engage the other. Not both at the same time. This is different than
coming from the middle. There will be two girls, youll pull up a chair
and turn to one, and actually lean in for just a second to create an usbubble. Then youre going to switch to talking to both girls. As soon as
you get both of them looking at you and paying attention, youre going
to back up a little bit so everyone can see each other easily. Then you
have the floor.
When you first lean in, one girl will be interested in what you have to
say. As soon as she starts talking to you, the other girl will feel a little
left out and really want some attention. When that happens, you bring
her into the us-bubble by giving her that attention, and now you can
easily talk to both of them.
This is important. Most guys wont open up to the second girl. Instead
theyll talk to one girl, usually the more attractive one, and leave the
other girl sitting there. Shell start looking around and feeling like shes
being completely shut off, and shell resist you if you try to escalate
things further with her friend.
What Ill typically do is lean in over my shoulder, not facing them directly.
I dont want to face them directly until theyre both looking at me and
facing me with their bodies. Ill be talking to both of them for a minute,
and as soon as they turn and tilt their bodies a little bit to face me, Ill do
the same and face them as well. Its really subtle but it makes a huge,
huge difference.

The Power of Distracting Yourself

Most guys approach two girls sitting down from the side because it feels
the safest. They want to sit down on one side so theyre not vulnerable
in the middle or theyre not splitting up two friends. If the two girls are
sitting really close together, you have no real choice but to approach
from one side, unless you move them. Which, by the way, you can do. I
have told two girls sitting really close together, Excuse me, move over

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for a second, and then had the girl actually move to the side to make
room for me to pull up another chair and then sit down in the middle.
I remember one night at a wine bar with a group of friends, sitting
at a table, and I got up to use the bathroom. There was a line in the
bathroom, so I didnt get back for 15 minutes. As I came back to the
table, I wasnt paying attention, and as I went to get my chair, there was
someone sitting in it. So I just said, Hey, will you move over? It was
a really cute girl. I thought, Oh, theres a girl here. Great. Maybe my
friends got girls to sit down with us.
So I grabbed a chair, she moved over, and I pulled my chair up and
sat down. Then I looked up and realized I didnt know anybody at the
table. All my friends had stood up, and it was a completely new group of
people. Everyone shut up, and they were all staring at me.
Normally I wouldve said, Oh God, Im so sorry. My friends were sitting
here. I thought this was my table. But instead of doing that, I said,
quite straightforwardly, You guys arent my friends.
Someone said, Yeah, some people just got up.
I said, Oh my God, this is so funny. What are your names? Im Joshua.
And I went around the whole table meeting everybody. There were
about nine people at the table, guys and girls, and I thought they were
all dating each other, but it turned out they werent. I ended up dating
four of the girls at that table, all at the same time (back when I was
polyamorous).
That all happened because I accidentally sat down at the wrong table
and made a girl move out of my way. I realized in that moment how
much distracting myself helped me do ballsy things I would normally be
afraid to do. When youre not actually paying attention you can be aloof,
or at least make everyone think that you are aloof, and you can choose
to not pay attention deliberately.
This is great if youre ever nervous to approach women. You might walk

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up and get self-conscious because you think she sees you coming and
knows whats up. Now, her seeing you coming is not a bad thing, but
her seeing you as youre walking up, and knowing that youre thinking
about what youre going to say, thats bad. That puts a lot of pressure
on the interaction.
But things like that wont happen if you learn to distract yourself.
Usually, Ill look around, see two girls in my peripheral, and just grab
something mindlessly. Again, this is misdirection. Ill mindlessly grab
a chair, pull it up, and just sit down, without obviously giving it any
thought. I might say something random to get their attention, like Are
you guys using this? No? Okay, great. Then Ill just sit down and start
talking: Ive got a question
Women cant really reject you when you do this. They have to first
get your attention and then reject you, and they typically will not do
that. Women cant reject guys who arent paying attention. This is very
important.
When I do this, I might get, Excuse me?
And Ill say, Yeah?
What are you doing?
Sitting down.
Thats it. I dont address it any further. I just treat it like it doesnt matter
because Im not paying attention to it. Then I continue on immediately:
You see those two over there? What do you think is going on?
This is classic misdirection at play. If its a high-stakes/high-risk situation
and you think youre going to be rejected, dont pay attention. They
cannot reject you if youre not paying attention, I promise. Its too much
work. Theyll have to say, Hey, excuse me. Hey, look at me, look at
me, look at me. Okay, now that youre here and youre looking at me,

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go away. They wont do that. If theyve worked that hard to get your
attention, they wont tell you to go away.
One of my friends, Rob Judge, explains this concept of misdirection
really well. Hes a really smart guy and dating instructor, and I wont go
into great detail on this because this is one of his concepts, not mine,
but he does something called the Al Pacino.
The Al Pacino happens when a girl is rejecting you, and you completely
ignore it, as if it isnt happening. He has a really great way of explaining
this.
If a girl says, Please leave. Were in a conversation.
Al Pacino hears, Hey, Im so glad you sat down. We should talk. Then
Al Pacino says, Hey, do you like dogs?
She says, No. Why are you asking me about dogs?
Al Pacino hears, I love dogs. Thank you for asking me that question. I
cant wait to hear the next question youre going to ask. Were getting
along so well. And he keeps talking about whatever he wants.
This is exactly how misdirection works. If youre distracting yourself, she
cannot reject you, because youre not even having her conversation.
Its only when you become part of the conversation and commit to it
that you can actually be rejected. One reason why guys get rejected is
because they become part of the girls conversation too fast. When you
first walk up and youre trying to build attraction, you never want to
have her conversation.
You want to have your conversation.
Its not until youre in rapport that you are having a conversation together.
In rapport, everything that Im teaching you now shifts. You go from lightheartedness, compliance, banter, and negative body language to straight
forward conversation, sitting, talking, and connecting. Its a completely
different phase of interaction thats outside the scope of this book.

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Two Girls Standing
Lets talk about two girls standing at the bar, which is another pretty
common scenario. First, Ill give you something you can do if you have a
drink in your hand. Were going to use classic misdirection and distraction
here. I know I sound like a magician teaching a magic trick, but thats
kind of what youre doing. Youre using distraction and misdirection to
open smoothly and keep from being rejected early on in the process.
What youre going to do is to walk by the girls, look confused, and then
go, Will you hold this for a second? and hand them your drink. Theyre
not expecting this at all so its a great pattern interrupt. Youre not trying
to buy them a drink, and youre not giving them your drink. Youre just
saying, Will you hold this for a second? And when they take it, whats
that called? Compliance.
The misdirection, the reason you need them to hold your drink, can be
anything that seems to require your attention. Ill usually lean down
and adjust something on my boots or check something real quick on my
phone, and then thank them and get it back. Im not doing anything I
couldnt have done without my drink in my hand in the first place.

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I know it doesnt make any sense. But it doesnt have to make sense.
In this scenario, youre opening them up without opening yourself up
first, because youre distracted. This will allow you to skirt the kind
of rejection a lot of guys typically experience when they approach two
girls. Both girls, typically, will wonder What is going on? Thats what
you want, that What is going on? look on their faces. Then you go,
Thank you, and take it back.
I typically use this as a drive-by, where I say Ill be right back, and Ill
walk somewhere for two minutes or so and come back to talk to them.
When I come back, its ten times easier to open them up. Ill say Okay,
cool. What are your names? Thats it.
If you stay there and continue to talk, remember that you walked up in
a state of distraction. You cant just turn immediately and start hitting on
them or it will feel incongruent. Instead, it should come across as, Oh
wow, I didnt even realize that you two were hot. I had no idea. I just
needed someone to hold my drink real quick. Its like all of a sudden you
just snapped out of it and are not distracted anymore. In the girls minds,
this makes all the difference between This feels really spontaneous and
fun, and This feels weird and creepy, and I dont like it.
One thing you can do is ask an easy question, like How do you two
know other? This is a really awesome question that you want to use all
the time. It gives you a ton of information to go on and talk about. Also,
if you ask this to a guy and a girl, you can find out if theyre dating or
not. Well talk more about mixed group dynamics in the next chapter.
The distracted approach is very indirect and will get you in under the
radar. Heres another way to approach two women standing by the
bar thats much more direct. First, remember to assess if theyre in
deep rapport with each other. If they are leaning into each other, have
their hands on their cheeks listening, or in any other attentive listening
posture, tread carefully.
If shes not in deep rapport - shes not facing the other girl directly,

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theres a little bit of space between them, they appear more casual and
open then youre going to walk up and be very playful. A fun, lighthearted delivery on this is very important. Youre going to say, Are you
talking about me again? You should have a serious, quizzical look on
your face, as if youre worried about whats going on. Youre conveying
through your face that you are thinking Is this what you two are doing?
Are you two talking about me again? I told you not to do that! And
then of course, you start smiling.

Theyll be taken aback at first because youll have this serious, accusatory
look on your face. But as soon as it becomes obvious that youre joking
around, you change to a playful expression and start flirting. You can say
something like, Im standing right here. I can hear everything youre
saying. Come on, at least wait until I leave before you start talking
about how awesome I am.

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Heres something else you can say: Holy crap! Its you two again. What
are the chances of me running into you again? Thats crazy. This, of
course, is with two girls you have never met before, so its going to be
a joke. When you say something like this, you first want to have a look
of surprise and excitement on your face. Again, theyll be taken aback
and probably go, I dont think we know you. I dont know where we
met you. To which you reply, Oh, you dont? Well I was just wondering,
what are the chances of me actually running into you again after this?
And again, you start smiling and flirting because it just became obvious
youre messing with them.
These are obviously silly lines. You wouldnt use them in every scenario,
only when you are shamelessly walking up to two women and being
ballsy and direct. The easiest and best thing to do in situations like that
is to fall back on things that are funny and break out some flirty roleplaying.

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8. Meeting Women
at Night, Group
Dynamics
Running a Group

he more people you add to a group, the more complex the

social dynamics become. As you saw earlier, things are pretty
straightforward when youre only dealing with one girl, with one
impression of you and one set of objections. Things get a little more
complicated when youre talking to two girls, because you have to make
sure they both feel comfortable and not isolated. This effect compounds
itself in larger groups, but the good news is that you dont actually have
to do more work. In fact, you will be doing less work because there are
more members in the group to help carry the conversation. You just
need to be aware of the group dynamics at play, and how to fit yourself
into them as an attractive, leading man.
Think about talking with two or more people. Standing in a straight
line ruins the path of communication, so you need to step back and
create a triangle or a circle, where youre all talking to each other. If you
step back while youre talking, the other people will automatically feel
compelled to face toward you more. Being aware of this, you can control
whether the people youre talking with feel together or apart, without
physically getting in between them. Step back and stand shoulder-toshoulder with one of them while youre talking, and the two of you are
in an us-bubble. Step closer toward the middle and you break that
imaginary bubble.
If you face one person more with your body, giving them more positive
body language, that person will feel more drawn into your conversation.
If you turn away, they will feel like theyre losing your attention. You
need to become aware of how your body movements can make people
feel more or less accepted when youre talking to them.

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In the initial stages of a group interaction, you cant just break off
one person to talk with, especially if its the girl youre interested in.
Your intentions will be obvious, and you risk aggravating other group
members. It doesnt matter whether they have a penis or a vagina, they
all need to feel accepted into the conversation, or they will eventually
try to block you out. Remember, a Ten understands how to give value to
everyone in a group and make them feel accepted and validated.
Become a source of validation and happiness for the entire group, and
they will welcome you in and work hard to keep you from leaving.
That means its your job to make everyone feel comfortable. If someone
falls away from the group and is out there floating in nothingness, you
should feel that and think, Thats weird. If I was that person, I would
feel awkward. You have to be sympathetic during this process, because
in the beginning you want to be connecting with the group in a lighthearted and fun way. As the social ambassador, you become more
powerful as more people get involved in your circle of fun.

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Even if its a guy who falls out of the group and is hanging out there,
and you dont want the guy there because hes going to be talking to
your girl, invite him in anyway. Its not like the women are going to think
That guy just got let back into the conversation, I feel bad for him, Im
going to sleep with him. Thats not going to happen. Instead, theyll
think, Oh, this cool guy who is leading the conversation just let that
other guy in, and thats a huge boost to your social value. You just gave
this guy a way in. You said, Come through the velvet rope for a second
and hang out with us. Youre giving massive amounts of value, which
makes you a Ten. If hes cool, great, now youve got another high-value
friend and wing-man. If hes not cool, the girls will come towards you to
get away from him.
Most guys are intimidated by other guys because they feel like theyre
competing with each other for girls. Thats a terrible attitude to have
and it comes from a mindset of scarcity, of feeling like you dont have
enough female options so you must cling tightly to the ones you do
have. Sevens and Eights behave this way, but not Tens. Tens come from
a mindset of abundance. They have many, many female options and are
never too needy or over-protective of just one. They dont feel like other
guys are their competition, and they dont ever feel the need to prove
their manhood; they just know deep down that theyve got it.
And because of this, they get laid like rock stars.
I have had guys come up to me when Im talking to a girl and say, Hey
man, you seem really nice and everything, but Im really trying to sleep
with this girl, so I want to know if you could leave me alone with her for
a little while. And I happily obliged them because it was awesome that
they came up to me and talked about it in the first place. I had no problem
whatsoever backing down because I had an abundance mentality. I know
I can do this with any girl, at any time, so one interaction doesnt really
matter to me.
Now, if a guy lies to me or acts like a competitive jerk, I wont back
down from the girl. In fact, Ill make it a point to take that girl because
the guy is being a dick. If you encounter dudes like this, there are no
rules anymore. A lot of guys will try to be really nice to other guys even
though theyre mean. You dont ever need to do that. They dont deserve

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your kindness. Dont waste your time and energy trying to please people
who lie or act like jerks.

Positive and Negative Body Language

Your body language affects peoples emotions, in group dynamics or
otherwise. When you give someone positive body language, you are
giving them more acceptance and attention. Conversely, negative body
language takes away acceptance and attention. You want to balance the
way you use both of these.
Typically, if someone does something that I dont like, Ill give them
negative body language. In a large group, this means I turn away from
them and towards another person, giving the new person positive body
language. Ill just pay attention to the other person. Ill ask them a
question. This sends a subtle message to the other person that if they
want my attention back, they have to be nice to me. This give-and-take
is key to building attraction with women.
Think about this in terms of progression. As a leading man you should
constantly be moving the interaction forward. If a girl sits still or takes
a step back from me, not physically, but emotionally and mentally from
investing in the interaction, I will stop giving her positive body language.
This encourages her to work harder for my attention, which means she
invests more into the interaction, and things keep moving forward.
What guys usually do when they start losing a girls attention, and they
feel things starting to fizzle out, is to start chasing body language.
This happens a lot with groups of girls, especially when the guy makes
the mistake of only talking to one girl and not anybody else, and then
that girl starts to pull away because she feels crowded. When that girl
starts to pull away, they chase her by giving her more positive body
language, like theyre trying to get in front of her and recover her
attention.
This is the worst thing you could ever do, especially in an environment
where a lot of people are looking at you.
By pulling away, shes giving clear signals that she doesnt want to be

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around you. If you stay there and keep chasing her at this point, your
value drops through the floor. This is the point where her friends will
come in to save her and act aggressively toward you. Youll get boxed
out of the conversation and be left holding your drink talking to nobody,
feeling completely rejected.
Heres a great analogy to understand how this works: meeting women is
a lot like dealing with cats. Unfortunately, most guys treat it like dealing
with dogs. Think, for a moment, about the difference.
When you are interacting with a dog, what do you do? You go straight up
to it, act really happy and accepting, and the dog responds immediately.
It comes over to you and wags its tail and thinks to itself, Yeah, were
having a good time. Youre paying attention to me. I like this.
But what do cats do? If you try to come up to a cat and say, Hey cute lil
kitty, come here, It says Pfft. Im walking over here and sitting down.
If you try to pet the cat, it resists. It doesnt need you. But if you coax
it for a while and have a nice ball of yarn for it to play with, its says,
Okay, maybe for a minute, but then Im leaving. And once its having
fun with that ball of yarn, if you then get up to walk away, it will suddenly
chase after you because it wants more. It wants what it cant have.
Women are cats. And you are the ball of yarn.
Women, especially really attractive women in a bar or club, are not
going to accept your attention right away and respond to your positive
body language. Women typically dont want to be easily accepted. Thats
not what they respond to. They want to feel like there is something in
front of them that they want, and they have to chase it and capture it.
They need to want you and chase you before you can really make them
feel accepted, and the key to making this happen is with negative body
language.
If you are going to be approaching a woman in a group, you never
want to be chasing her body language. Instead, you want to turn and
get her to come after you. You want to show the girl, essentially, that
its not easy to win you over. Shes going to have to work to earn your
attention, which means you are a high-value, attractive person. Youre

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not hiding the fact that youre interested in her, youre just showing her
that shes going to have to actually invest some time and energy in this
conversation or youll turn and leave her out in the cold.
There are some women who will respond to positive body language right
away: women with very low self esteem. Theyll think, Oh my God,
someone is actually talking to me, this is amazing. But that doesnt
happen very often with women who are very attractive because they
dont have very low self-esteem.
Let me make a note here. Very attractive women dont usually have
low self esteem, but they are almost never actually confident. Heres
the difference: low self-esteem, essentially, means feeling like you have
very few options. It means having a scarcity mentality, like you arent
worthy of attention. Low confidence means you dont believe in yourself.
The hotter a woman is, the less confident she typically is. She wont
have low self-esteem because she knows shes attractive and she has
options. But thats different than being confident, from believing in your
own abilities, especially in social interaction.
If youve ever met a really hot girl who seemed cold or bitchy, its probably
because she wasnt very confident in social situations. A lot of hot women
have a lot of mental blocks up and dont really get normal interactions.
They dont always learn how to have a normal conversation because
most guys they know have been hitting on them and trying to get in
their pants since they were teenagers. They wind up having different
personalities altogether because theyve learned to always be on-guard
for that. That is the pattern their minds are operating on.

Two or More Girls Dancing

So, keeping in mind the group dynamics we just discussed, lets talk about
how to approach two or more girls on the dance floor. This technique is
called integration.
On the dance floor, the group you want to approach will have their own
little pocket of people dancing. You are going to create your own pocket
and then integrate the two. You will set this up so that your people and
their people are all mingling, and you have domain over both at the
same time.

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This is coming back to the social ambassador concept. Youre creating a
social group and using it to infiltrate another group.

The best way to do this is to first get a group of people pumped up. This
will be a group that you would normally warm up with (i.e. guys or girls
youre not attracted to) and who look the most approachable on the
dance floor. That group is very unlikely to reject you, so start dancing
with that group and pumping up the energy, then create a dance circle.
Basically, you start backing up and motioning for everyone to make
some room. What happens is that everybody begins to form a circle. If
you can, push someone into the circle, and theyll start dancing, then
another person. This is really classic. Be ready to jump in there yourself,
by the way.
Once youve gotten the circle going, youre going to open up part of it
and connect it to the other group, making a bigger circle. Then move
down and plug yourself in on the other end; the end with all the girls
you want to talk to. Thats integration. Its a pretty simple and powerful
concept. Youre basically taking a group of safe people you dont really

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want to be with for too long and connecting them to the group that you
really want to be dancing with.
You can also integrate by slowly moving that first group in one direction
until both groups are intermingling and you are close enough to the girls
you want to dance with.
Whenever you integrate groups like this, the girls wont question how it
is you popped up next to them. Theyll be thinking, How did we get over
here? Who are you people? But they wont be looking at you thinking
that; theyre looking at everybody else. Youve come in completely
under the radar, created a bit of controlled chaos, broken up their entire
circle, and integrated your people with theirs. Group intermingling like
this happens all the time on a dance floor, and nobody gives it a second
thought. They certainly wont have any clue that you engineered it.
Integration is my favorite way to run a dance floor. Actually, its my
favorite way to run a room. You take one group of people who are easy
to talk to and integrate them with the group of people you really want
to talk to.
Remember, when you go through the warm up process we discussed
earlier, youre not just warming up yourself. Youre creating pockets
of friends. Once youve done that ground-work, you can then leverage
those pockets at any given moment. Again, this is the power of the
social ambassador.
This isnt just limited to a dance floor. You can do this in any high-energy
environment where everyones standing around talking, like at a bar or
a party. Its like chess, where you are manipulating all these little pieces
to coordinate something great. You make note of everyones position in
the room and strategically position yourself for attack. By the way, this
works just as well in business networking situations.
You might see a group of people across the room that you want to talk
to. You start a group right next to them. Then, while youre introducing
people, you mistakenly tap one of the people in the other group,
assuming that theyre part of this group too, and just continue to
introduce people.

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This is really, really powerful. Its what I do all the time. I treat everybody
the same and just assume that I should be meeting and introducing all
of them, and with this attitude (and a bit of misdirection) I can work my
way into just about any group of people I want to meet.
This is a strategy that requires to you see the forest for the trees; to see
the big picture ahead of time. Guys, for some reason, always seem to
want to do things the hard way. Seeing a hot girl, walking up to her, and
just trying to talk to her can be really difficult. It becomes exponentially
easier when you use your social influence. It works for you and greases
the wheels of all your interactions. It makes everything run so much
smoother. It creates that all-important vibe of pre-selection. If you
want to try the man up and just do it approach with one hot girl at a
time, Im not going to try and stop you. Just know that theres a much
easier way: create social ambassador status for yourself.

Two or More Girls Sitting Down

This is where things get a little bit complicated. If you have a group of
women sitting down, some of them may be in rapport and some of them
may not be. Youll have pockets of girls who are leaning toward each
other having an intense conversation and other pockets that are more
relaxed and open to being approached.

Indirect - Table Integration

One strategy here is to integrate, starting with the girls who appear
more open (i.e. not in deep rapport). The best way to do this is to sit at
an adjacent table. This is a bit of a longer-term strategy, but if you do it
right, it pays off really well. Sit down, if you can, with a group of people
youre warming up with. You want this to be at a table adjacent to the
group of women that you really want to talk to and close to the women
in that group who are not in rapport.
From that position, youre going to turn around and start talking to one
of those girls. Remember group dynamics. Youll have to turn enough
so you can actually engage a few people. What usually happens is that
the other girls sitting nearby will notice you talking to their friends and
start dropping out of rapport. Then youll have a whole side of that table
paying attention to you and enjoying a flirty, fun conversation.

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Now, seeing as how youre an attractive, dominant man who has no

problem rearranging things around him however he pleases, youre
going to push your tables together. Voila integration complete.
Keep in mind that for this kind of integration, the logistics are really
important. You cant do this if youre sitting at the wrong side of the
table or at a table near a bunch of girls in deep rapport that will be nextto-impossible to connect with.

Direct - Shameless Flirting

Heres another, more direct way to integrate two tables of people.
Imagine you and a few guy friends want to sit down at a table. Youre
going to do something to get the girls attention, like making a big show
of setting up the table, getting chairs and everything, so that they start
looking at you. When they look over, say Hey, theres a table of cute
girls. Lets sit with them instead, and just go sit down with the girls and
all your friends. Say it loud enough for them to hear you and laugh with
you, and theyll be psyched that a fun, cheeky guy and his friends just
joined them. Youll also position yourself as the leader of your group.
Another bold and direct move, if you see a table of girls who are not in
rapport, is to pull up a chair, sit down with them, and banter like crazy.
Shameless flirting works well in these situations because they will all feel

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safe as a group, and receptive to you being more direct. Say something
like, You girls are really cute. Are you in a band or something? Give
them a chance to role play. Are you a traveling trapeze team? Are
you a basketball team? Are you guys all here for a My Little Pony
convention or something? Is this your Care Bear support group? Am I
interrupting something? Am I in the right place? Did one of you order
a dashingly handsome male stripper?

Taking Photos, in Threes

Once youve sat down, a great way to ramp up the fun early on is to
start taking pictures with them. Earlier I told you about taking photos
with girls on a dance floor. This is similar, only here youre taking three
photos with the group: normal, silly, and sexy.
As always, dont ask if its okay, just give someone the camera and say,
Lets get a picture. Maybe the picture is of your whole table or just
a few people. It doesnt matter. You take one picture with everyone
smiling and acting normal.
Then you say, Hold on, hold on. Take another one. This time, everybody
make a silly face. Click! Then you say, Okay, one more. Everyone make
a sexy face, or Everyone be sexy. If you dont want to say sexy face,
you can go lighter and reference the movie Zoolander: Everyone show
me your Blue Steel.
You may have just sat down and made a joke, like, You girls are awesome.
Are you in a band or something? Then youll pull out your camera and
say, Im going to get a picture with you girls. A picture with the band.
Note: Its very important that you are in the picture. Never take a picture
for other girls, it excludes you from the fun. If a girl ever tries to hand
me a camera to take a picture for her, I typically say, Yeah, yeah sure,
and then hand it to another guy and ask him, Will you take a picture of
these girls? Why? Because if you just take it and snap a picture like she
told you to, you are failing a compliance test. The kind of test you want
to be giving her, not vice-versa.
Im not suggesting you be a dick and refuse every picture request.
If Im not actually trying to attract any girls, I will take a picture for

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them, because in that case, its a nice thing to do. No big deal. But
mindlessly complying with requests like that is a surefire killer of
attraction, so keep that in mind. A better idea, by far, is to hand it to
another guy and then get into the photo. Say, hold on, hold on this
picture needs some eye candy. Fun, attractive, sought-after people
are always having their photo taken. And its great if you take the lead
and direct which photos to take: one smiling photo, one playful photo,
and one sexy photo.
Definitely end on the sexy photo, thats important. It shows a glimpse of
sexuality and allows them to get comfortable with being sexual around
you in a safe way. Youre introducing sexuality right away without coming
off weird, because its in a group, its for a picture, and youre directing
them to do it in a fun way.

Group of Girls Standing

This is one scenario that most guys shy away from because theyre
intimidated by talking to so many girls. However, groups of girls are
actually the easiest groups of people to open up, period. It takes almost
zero understanding of social dynamics in order to open a group thats
standing, and you dont have to do much work to succeed.
All you have to do is walk up with a good reason for talking and theyll
typically be really responsive to you. This is because theyre out to have
a good time with each other, talk to people, and flirt with guys, and
theyll be open to your approach because they feel safe within the group.
All you have to do is be light-hearted and youll be fine. Try saying hi and
telling them your name. It really is that easy sometimes. Tell them they
looked friendly and you wanted to introduce yourself.
One thing you can say when you walk up that almost always works is
Im going to hang out with you girls because the girls I came with are
boring. Thats it. You can say more if you want to, like, Are you girls
fun? Im going to hang out with you girls because the girls I came with
are boring, but you girls are fun, right? Most girls are not going to say
no, they arent fun. And if they do, theyre most likely doing it to have
fun with you, so you can just play along.
Speaking of how easy it is to talk to large groups of girls, bachelorette

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parties are some of the easiest groups ever. They are most definitely out
to have a good time, and they will end their night extremely disappointed
if they dont talk to a lot of guys. You can walk up and ask, Oh, which
one is getting married? Congratulations. Do you want a picture of you
spanking me or me spanking you?
They are looking to integrate. They want guys to come up to them. Thats
why they are there. They will hardly have any reservations because
theyre in a large group, and they feel safe. They dont need to look out
for themselves as much, because other girls are looking out for them.
Youre going to have to talk to all of them at some point, you cant just
sneak in and run off with one girl or theyll get protective, but it will be
very easy to win the group over. And once youve done that, you can take
your pick of which fun, single girls world you want to rock that night.

Girls and Guys Mixed

These scenarios are similar to the way weve been handling groups of all
girls, but its important to note that with guys present in the group, they
are going to either be enemies or allies. How they turn out depends on
how you approach the group.

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In mixed-group situations, I will typically enter and be a little bit
submissive. I do this deliberately, which presents an interesting case
because Im breaking one of the cardinal rules. Ill come in extremely
aloof, as if I have no idea that theres any kind of dynamic in this
environment at all. As if Im wandering up to them without even thinking
about it. Im using the power of distracting myself in order to come in
under the radar. I wont be direct or sexual, Ill just introduce myself to
people and act friendly and safe.
With mixed groups, you dont want to be direct or try to lead the group
right away, because the guys will immediately sense your dominance
and resist it. Theyll see you as a threat, someone who could take away
all their girls, and they wont appreciate that. So what you have to do
in these cases is come in under the radar and subtly win everyone over.
Then, once youve assimilated into the group, you can resume being
dominant and gain control. You have to wait for the right opportunity to
control; you cant do it too early.
If theyre standing up dancing around (girls and guys), then you want
to be silly. Thats all you want to be. Nothing serious, nothing sexual,
nothing really leading or dominant. You just want to be fun and silly and
non-threatening, as if you dont have a penis at all. Youre just a little
boy having a good time.
Thats just in the beginning, by the way. Once you get into the group
and begin to actually talk to different people, youre going to turn back
into your masculine, dominant self. But right when you walk up, just to
get your foot in the door, you have to present yourself as absolutely no
threat to them. This will disarm the guys and allow you to join the group
with little resistance from them. By the time you resume being yourself
and start attracting the girls, you will have won the guys over and made
them your allies.
If a group of girls and guys is sitting down, you need to actually ask for
permission to sit down. This is important. You dont just ask the guys
either, because then youre showing true submission. You want to show
no dominance when you come in, but you especially dont want to be

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submissive to one of the guys because hell think he can control you,
and you stand no chance of building attraction with any of the girls.
Instead, you want to ask the permission of the group as a whole. Make
sure you make eye contact with a few of the girls and a few of the
guys in the process. Ask everyone, Do you guys mind if I sit down
here? Because I want to hang out with you guys instead of hanging
out over here. Or, Hey, do you guys mind if I hang out with you for
just a minute? You guys seem cool. Thats it. They will feel no threat
whatsoever if you sit down, and since you said for just a minute, they
wont have the objection that youll be hanging around forever.
In this moment, youre turning off all of your sexuality. When guys are
sitting down with girls and they sense a man coming in thats sexual,
theyll tend to fight that and prevent it from happening. You dont want
that to happen, because even if you do manage to sit down, youll have
enemies. Youll have someone whos working against you, trying to make
things worse for you. Youll turn whoever it is into a combative person,
and youll have a really hard time.
You may find, in some situations, that a group has no truly dominant guys
who might resist you, in which case none of this matters. But, you wont
know that before you walk up, so its best to play this conservatively
until you can figure out where you stand.
In mixed groups with really attractive girls, usually one of the guys will
be a really aggressive, super-dominant, alpha-type dude. You have to
come in under the radar with these guys, or theyll boot you out before
you even get two words out of your mouth. Remember to be giving
compliments to guys according to value dynamics. Assess what kind of
guys they are, and give them what they want (six = acceptance, seven
= respect, eight = feeling like theyve won, ten = compliments).
Now, once youre accepted into the group, you feel like youre on a level
playing field with everyone else, and everyone is treating you neutrally
or positively, then you can start to lead. Suggest moving somewhere
else in the bar: Theres a better place over here. We should go over here
and do this thing. Pull tables up or move seats around. Perpetrate little
acts of control that the alpha/leader guys in the group typically benefit

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from, like inviting other girls over to the group so the guys have new
girls to talk to, introducing them to new people they havent met yet, etc.
Thats what the leader does in a larger group, and if you start doing that
you will subtly assume the leader position and gain control of the group.
You came in under the radar, as a follower, and ended up as the leader.

Mayor Walking
I talked about mayor walking briefly during the chapter on warming
up. Lets talk about it a little bit more now because its a great way to
approach a group of guys and girls when theyre standing, especially if
theyre standing around near the bar, not doing much of anything. When
I started doing this, I was able to get the attention and acceptance of a
lot of people, all at once, really quickly.
Like most ballsy approaches, its vital to note here that you have to fully
commit to this, or it wont work. If you half-ass it, act apologetic, or take
the time to explain yourself, youll run into a lot of resistance. If you own
it, however, youll come off like a rock star.
The mayor walk is where you walk by everyone just shaking hands.
Picture Bill Clinton on the campaign trail, working a room in front of
a bunch of cameras. Hes smiling, shaking hands, and kissing babies.
Thats mayor walking.
Hey, hows it going? Im Joshua. Its very nice to meet you.
Joshua. Nice to meet you.
Hey, all right!
Hey, look at you!
Everyone good here? All right!
Welcome to the bar. Glad youre here.

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Pretend that youre throwing a party, they are all your guests, and you
just want to welcome them and thank them for coming. You walk through
the entire group, meeting them all, one at a time. When you do it this
way, people will start to perk up and watch you. Theyll think, This is
interesting. Who is this guy? They look around and think, I dont know
who this guy is... When you finish shaking hands, you just say, Cool.
You guys are awesome. What are we doing? and without hesitation
youve joined the group.
If you do this right, you come across as somebody who thinks hes
important enough to be introduced to everybody individually. You act
like youre giving value just by introducing yourself, and so everyone
assumes you have a ton of value. When someone famous shakes your
hand, they expect that youre going to be thrilled because youre shaking
the hand of somebody famous. Thats the mayor-walk effect.
People see you acting the way famous people and politicians act, and
they start to wonder who you are. Not as in, I dont know this person,
but as in, Is this someone I should know? Subconsciously, most people
want to avoid the social faux-pas of not knowing somebody they should
know, so they assume youre important, and they just go with it.
If you do the mayor walk at a party, everyone will assume that youre
the host. Makes sense, right? If youre at a bar and you do it, everyone
assumes that you own the bar, or youre the bartender, or youre a
promoter. Ive had a lot of people ask me if I worked at a place after I
did the mayor walk. I just say No, I dont, and they just laugh. Ive
never gotten a negative response from doing this, ever.
After you do this, stay away from talking about what you do for a while.
You dont want to shake hands and then immediately start talking about
your software job. That would be very incongruent to what you just did,
and everyone will pick up on that and get weirded out. But, ten minutes
later they will have moved on, and you can just be yourself.
Start being playful as soon as you integrate, and then start directing
the group and leading them. Oh hey, theres a table over here. Do you

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guys want to sit down? or Lets get drinks/shots, or simply Lets go
over here. Start to direct everybody in a way that benefits the group. If
theyre standing around, theyre probably in limbo and need somewhere
to go, and you can be the one to direct them wherever that may be. Ask
the guys a lot of questions and get their opinions on stuff. Give them
compliments and value as well.
You still have to win over all the guys and be non-threatening to them
in the beginning in order to get in. You dont want to be fighting them;
you want to be one of them, on their team. You dont want to be so
submissive that you come off as one of the girls, or like a gay bestfriend. You just dont want to trigger an alarm in any of the guys by
over-doing the dominance too early.
A lot of guys have theories about fighting other guys for alpha status.
I dont think of things that way, and I wont tell you to do that because
I dont think that anybody whos fighting for alpha status can truly be
alpha.
To me, the alpha is the one whos actually in control, and sometimes
that person has to make everyone think theyre not the one in control
in order for everyone to follow them. Thats how it is. I suggest you do
whatever you have to do to get the leadership position, and most of the
time that means coming in under the radar and usurping that status
once everyone gets comfortable with you.
Note: If you do the mayor-walk with a group full of only guys, you might
run into problems because they may feel like theyre being manipulated.
But if its girls and guys they wont have that reaction, even if they do
feel like theyre being manipulated, because they know that showing a
negative reaction would be a sign of weakness. If they say anything,
theyll look like a bitch. So, you essentially put them in check-mate;
theyll know what youre doing but will have to shut up and respect the
game.

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9. Meeting Women
During the Day

emember the difference in mindset and patterns during the

daytime. People feel more exposed, like they cant hide, and
most women are not expecting to be approached by a high-value,
charming guy. Just by approaching women during the day, you are
setting yourself apart from most guys and you should find it surprisingly
easy to build attraction. Typically, you wont have to bring as much
energy to the interaction in order to achieve the same effect, and you
can also get away with being more direct.

One Girl by Herself

Lets start with one of the most common daytime scenarios: one girl by
herself, walking somewhere. Ill break this up into two different situations,
one for if shes walking towards you, and one if shes walking in the
same direction as you. Keep in mind that when youre walking the same
direction, she most likely will not see you coming, so you need to make an
extra effort to approach in a way that makes her feel safe and comfortable.

The Buzzer Method

This is a great method for breaking someone out of their daytime pattern
and getting them to stop. You use your hand like a buzzer and put it
out into her psychological space, her personal space around her. She will
feel compelled to stop. She will see your hand and naturally follow your
arm up to your eyes. Ive nick-named this buzzing in.
Just like with the Spin of Destiny, this is a subtle compliance move. When
you put your hand into someones psychological space, they automatically
respond to it without thinking; its a gut-level response. If youve ever
had a salesperson thrust a flyer into your hand, and you took it without
hesitating, thats why. The people on the Las Vegas strip are the best at
this; if you walk down the strip without saying no, youll end up with
about 50 girls direct to you flyers in your hand by the time you get to
the end of one block. Youre going to use this effect to your advantage
to smoothly and comfortably stop a moving woman during the daytime.

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If shes walking toward you, youre going to stop, say excuse me, and
put your hand out in front of her. If you do it right, she will stop and
pay attention to you for a moment. A few notes on how to do this in a
powerful, dominant way that commands attention:
- Fully extend your arm, dont half-commit to the buzzer. You dont
want to seem apologetic about stopping her.
- Keep your hand about waist-high, away from her face or chest.
- Never lean forward. Stand straight or lean back.
- Go palm-down. One, so it doesnt look like youre asking for
something (spare some change please?). Two, because a palmdown gesture conveys that you are in command of the space in
front of her.
- Judge her speed and do it with enough advance warning that she
doesnt feel startled or threatened, or like youre going to grope
her or hit her.

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- Dont do it too suddenly or with jerky movements. That can also
make her recoil, and when she recoils you will be starting off
from a very negative position.
- If shes carrying a purse, buzz-in on the non-purse side! You
dont want her to react to you like a purse-snatcher. Also, if you
start walking with her, try to be on the non-purse side as well.
You dont want physical barriers between you.
When people are walking by themselves, theyre typically looking down
and theyre up in their head. When you put your hand out in their space like
this, you snap them out of those patterns and command their attention.
Once you have that attention, youre going to turn and stand shoulderto-shoulder with her. If you face her directly right away youll be putting
a lot of pressure on the interaction and you wont have as much success.

From this position, you can create that same us-bubble effect we talked
about earlier, where it feels like its you and her looking at something

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together and bonding over it. You can point at something, or someone,
and start talking about it. This is a bit of misdirection that will create
comfort by distracting her from the fact that you just stopped her in the
street. Also, when youre stopping someone on the street, excessive eye
contact can be intimidating, so having something else to look at and talk
about is a good way to avoid that.
What youre doing here is breaking a lot of typical daytime patterns. During
the daytime, if you stop someone on the street, what might that someone
be thinking? They might think youre going to be asking them for money,
that youre trying to sell them something, that youre trying to get them to
sign a petition, all sorts of crap. And people dont want to be accosted like
this. I learned this the hard way in New York City, one of the most difficult
places to comfortably stop someone on the street, and I found this to be
the most effective method. You see a girl coming towards you, you buzz
in, turn, and immediately start talking about something.
You can also do this when a girl is walking away from you in the same
direction, you just need to come around from the side, give her plenty
of space to see you and react, and do the same thing. In this case you
can stop her, or keep walking with her in the same direction you were
both already walking.

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Heres a more direct way of approaching a girl walking away from you.
Full disclosure: I stole this from the highly underrated movie Dirty Work,
starring Norm MacDonald, because I thought it was hilarious. If a girl is
walking away from you and you want to go get her attention, jog after
her and say, Hey, Matilda! Matilda! Matilda! Thats probably not her
name, so shell say, Im sorry, my names not Matilda. You must think
Im someone else, to which you reply, No, no, you didnt tell me your
name, so I just guessed. Then smile and immediately start flirting. Ive
used this countless times, and it works really, really well. Girls will laugh
automatically, and you can start role-playing. Because youre being so
silly, you can continue to walk with them and say, So where are we
going? Back to your place or something?
Test these methods out in a place where theres a lot of women walking
during the day. Crowded city environments are fantastic for this.
Other great places include shopping malls, farmers markets, beaches,
boardwalks, and parks. You will have plenty of time to test this in different
ways and figure out how this works best for you.

One Girl Standing

Stopping a moving girl is one of the hardest things to do because of all the
objections you have to handle in order to stop her in a non-threatening
way. One girl standing still is much easier. You have to remember that
women who are standing by themselves during the daytime are typically
off in their own world thinking about something they have to do or
thinking about some place they are going. This is very different from
a woman standing in a bar because she is not expecting any guys to
approach her in this environment. Youre going to be breaking all sorts
of patterns just by approaching her.
Imagine a girl standing on the corner of a street or in a park somewhere.
You could walk up to her and ask her opinion or something, or point out
something to talk about, but you risk falling into a boring, rapport-based
conversation with a lot of autopilot responses from her. You can also be
direct and tell her shes gorgeous, which Ill get to in a moment. But

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heres something very unique that I like to do in this case. Its a very
ballsy move, but extremely fun. The next time you see a girl standing
by herself outside during the daytime, I want you to walk up to her and
spin her.
This came about from a game I used to play with a friend of mine,
where we would try to see how fast we could get girls phone numbers.
I thought I had the winning move, for sure. I would walk up to a girl
standing by herself, spin her, and by the time she came back around
to face me, I would be handing her my phone and saying, Put your
number in here. Whats your name? That was it, and she would put her
phone number in (compliance).
But, my friend did me one better. This is the funniest thing ever, and it
won because he didnt even say anything to the girls in order to get their
numbers. He would go up to girls with dogs and say Oh my God, what
a cute dog, and as he knelt down to pet the dog he would put his phone
into the girls hand. Classic compliance and misdirection. She would be
putting her number in and laughing, like, I cant believe Im doing this
with some guy I dont even know yet, this is outrageous.
Ive tested both of these. Theyre awesome.

One Girl Standing, in a Bookstore

This is one of my favorites. In a bookstore, most people are sitting
down, talking quietly, but one girl standing up will not be in any kind of
deep conversation, so she will be much easier to approach. Heres what
I want you to do if youre in a bookstore and you see a girl standing
looking at books: find the dictionary section. Pick out a small dictionary,
something you can hand her. Find the girl, walk up to her, and say, Hey,
I want your opinion on something. What do you think about this book?
Do you think I should read this book? Then hand it to her.

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Shell take the book, thinking youre asking her a serious question, and
then realize the joke. When she looks up at you, I want you to be cheesy
and start hitting on her. Say So, whats your name? Do you live around
here? So are you single? Whats your sign? Thats it. Totally overt,
obviously silly, playful banter and flirting.
Shell laugh right away, which is what you want. You want her to be
having fun with you right away. You want to take her out of the pattern
that shes in a bookstore looking for books, acting intelligent and nerdy.
Shes expecting you to ask her a logical question, and youll build a lot
of attraction if youre silly instead.
This is a great example of a misdirected joke, where you start off seeming
to follow an expected pattern and then she realizes youre just kidding.

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I actually modified this from the movie Supertroopers. Theres a scene
where one of the cops walks in with a folder and says to the cute girl
behind the desk, I need to give this to the captain, is he here? She
says No, so he goes, Well, are there any other male officers here
because I really need to give this folder to one of them. Shes says,
Im the only one here, so he hands it to her, she opens it up, and
realizes theres nothing in it. Then he starts shamelessly hitting on her.
So have you always lived here or did you move here at some point?
Shes laughing her ass off and loving the charming little joke he just
played on her.
You can find other books, but a dictionary is one of my favorites because
there is no way she can take it seriously. This wouldnt work if you
grabbed, say, a kama sutra book and asked Do you think I should read
this? Youre not going to get the same response. If you continue to be
silly with that, it will just come off creepy, like, So, do you live around
here? This is a kama sutra book. Do you have any lube at your place?
Do you do yoga?
Make sure she gets that youre obviously joking, or you might weird her
out.

One Girl Sitting

How many times have you walked by some gorgeous girl, sitting by
herself, and wished you could go talk to her? There have been plenty of
times in our lives that weve walked by incredibly attractive girls and not
said anything, and totally regretted it for the rest of the day.
Lets talk about how to avoid that kind of regret from now on. This is
going to be really fun for you. It also might be really scary because
youre going to be very, very direct. Youre not to spin her, or misdirect
her, or ask her a question; nothing like that. Youre just going to tell her
exactly how you feel, in the most powerful, masculine, seductive way
that you can.
During the daytime, when you join someone sitting down, its easy to fall
into a pattern of automatic rapport with that person. Its a low energy
environment, and that kind of thing is expected. This time, instead of

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breaking that pattern, I want you to play off of it, amplify it and develop
something really deep and powerful.
Imagine you walk by a caf and you see a girl inside, sitting by herself
reading a book or something. Walk in and sit down with her. Across
from her is okay, 90 degrees to her is better, but the ideal position is
right next to her. You arent going to ask for permission to sit down.
Youre just going to do it. Pull up a chair if you need to. If shes
working on something, shell forget all about it when you start talking.
If shes busy eating, oh well. She just picked a really inopportune
time to eat.
Right as you sit down youre going to switch straight into a deep, powerful
seduction voice. This is the booming kind of voice that comes from your
belly, not your throat. Then youre going to look her deeply in the eyes
and say exactly whats on your mind. Something along the lines of, I
was walking by and I looked in here and I saw you, and I had to come in
and meet you because youre incredibly beautiful.. Whats your name?
Thats it. Youre being completely straightforward and direct in every
way possible.

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I want you to look at her directly in the eyes the whole time youre doing
this, and I want you to say it slowly and powerfully, without hesitation or
doubt. Dont be too loud because shell feel self-conscious if she thinks
everyone else can hear you, and shell be nervous enough already. But
dont be too quiet, or youll sound soft and apologetic, and you want to
come across very strong when you do this.
This is a very, very powerful thing to do, and it makes a lot of guys really
nervous to even consider doing this. Because its so mind-blowingly
direct, there are only a few situations in which youd be really successful
meeting women this way. This is one of them.
Look at her directly in the eyes and deliver this with complete sincerity.
Say I absolutely had to come talk to you, like it was outside of your
control; you were driven by fate. Her heart is going to be in her throat.
Shell be super, super nervous, feeling butterflies everywhere. During
the daytime, that kind of pressure right off the bat is okay. You want to
create that struck-by-fate situation.
If you try this at nighttime, youll get big-time resistance from women
because theyre expecting this sort of thing. It will seem like a rehearsed
pickup line. Also, this is a chill, low-energy type of approach that isnt
really suited for a high-energy, dynamic environment. But during the
daytime, in a place thats quiet and serene, youre going to come striding
along like some knight in shining armor; her Prince Charming.
This is also incredibly simple and efficient. When you walk up to a girl and
introduce yourself to her in such a powerful way, you are demonstrating
extremely high value. Youre drawing her in with eye contact and
dominance. Youre telling her why you like her (qualifying).
In fact, youre done with the entire phase of attraction when you say this
one sentence.
You can go from there straight into rapport. You dont need to flirt or
banter, or build any more attraction. You can feel free to relax, relieve
some of the pressure you just created, and naturally get to know each
other (theres a lot more on this, including a Rapport Formula, in the
Creating Love section of the Tao of Badass).

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Two Girls Walking
Youre going to use the same buzzer method with two girls walking, but
youre going to be a little more direct because they will feel safer and
more comfortable together than if they were alone.
This is very similar to buzzing in with one girl. First, you put your hand
out and get their attention. If they were walking toward you, you want to
stop them and talk, and face them both directly. You dont want to turn
and create an us-bubble because it will feel like youre excluding one
of the girls, and shell resist you. If they were walking the same way as
you, you can turn shoulder-to-shoulder and walk with them. I wouldnt
do this much if they were walking toward you because it will seem like
youre following them, which puts you in a submissive position.
Once you get their attention, you want to start shamelessly flirting and
being playful, as in, You girls are super cute. I have to go in a second,
but I just wanted to talk to you for a minute and see who you are and see
if youre awesome. Youll either stop them or catch up to them from the
side, buzz in just to get their attention, and say something like Im just
wondering where were walking because Im obviously hanging out with
you cute girls because youre awesome. Straight-forward, silly, and fun.
This is great for role-playing. Where are you taking me? is a good
banter line, like these two women are abducting you. Or you can just
assume youre a part of the group and ask So where are we going?
You usually want to give a compliment during this process. You girls are
super cute. Look at your smile. I cant help but smile looking at you.
You might also use another misdirected joke in this situation. If you have
a smart phone or a map, stop them and fake like you need directions
before flirting. Say, Hey, excuse me. I was wondering if you could help
me, Im just trying to find a good reason talk to you girls because
youre really cute. Or, Hey do you guys know where Starbucks is?
Actually I dont care, I just wanted a reason to talk to you because
youre super cute. Being direct and shameless like this is my favorite
way to get girls swooning over me during the daytime.
Note: You do not want to buzz-in up the middle, in between two girls
when theyre walking. You want to come around on the side, and not the

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purse side if you can help it. If you cant avoid the purse issue, you can
exaggerate your non-threatening nature by getting a few steps ahead of
them and then turning and slowing down until youre walking with them
at the same speed.

Two Girls Sitting Down

Remember that with two girls sitting down, the dynamic will be
completely different depending on if theyre in deep rapport or not.
However, its a lot easier to interrupt that rapport during the day. If you
walk by and see two girls sitting at a table somewhere, youre going to
walk in and sit down at an adjacent table, someplace nearby. From that
table youre going to shamelessly flirt with them out loud, so people can
hear you, in front of everybody. This is powerful and dominant because
youre unafraid of people hearing you. Every approach you make like this
thats really direct requires a lot of balls, and thats a really attractive
thing to women.
Thats right, balls are attractive to women. Write that down.
Have fun with this. Tell them theyre looking sexy. Tell them that you had
to come flirt with them. How could someone not want to talk to them?
How do they get anything done looking so good all the time? Dont guys
hound them all day?

Groups of Women
With larger groups of women during the day, you dont have to respect
the dynamics as much because theyll feel safe in a group and have
many people to talk with. So, what you can do here is single one girl out
in this group and flirt with her shamelessly. This is the only time you can
start to single women out in groups and flirt with them. You still have to
be comfortable talking to the rest of the girls, but in this case it usually
works really well to just go straight for the one youre attracted to and
shamelessly flirt with her. Very straightforward.
Something you can say might be, Whoa, youre my new girlfriend.
Youre awesome. Where are we going? Look around at all her friends
and go, Holy crap. Youre all my new girlfriends. Youre all gorgeous.
Ive died and gone to heaven.

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Note: You dont want to stop a group of women who are walking toward
you. They have too much forward momentum, and trying to stop them
will take a lot of work. You can lose a lot of the girls in the process and
create a lot of aggravation. Instead, you want to join the group wherever
they are going and flirt with them.
Anytime you enter a group of two or more women during the daytime,
youre essentially going to be the gregarious, flirtatious guy: a little bit
loud, very charming, very straightforward and direct. Youre not overly
sexual, just very complimentary in a lot of ways. Youre allowed to use
cheesy pick-up lines if you want, because in this dynamic, its going to
be obviously funny, and theyre going to laugh.
If you ever get intimidated by talking to groups of girls, remember
the power of distracting yourself. Allow yourself to be up in your head,
thinking about random things, and then spontaneously start flirting
when you see the girls, so you havent had any time to think about it
and get nervous.

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Lets say you have three or more women standing at a crosswalk during
the daytime. You could use a form of misdirection here, on them and on
yourself. Instead of trying to run up and chase them down and talk to
them, you will be catching them when theyve stopped walking. I would
run up and hit the crosswalk button, and then I would stand there for
a second not looking at them. Youre in front of them for a moment,
and theyre noticing you without you noticing them, because youre
distracted. Youre up in your own head.
Hit the button, stand there for a second and then turn and say,
Whoooaaaa. Look at all these hot girls. Where did you come from?
What are all your names? Are you going to the dentist too? So am I.
Make good use of straightforward, gregarious flirting. Oh my God, Ive
just died and gone to heaven. I didnt know we were having a slumber
party, Ive got to call my mom and let her know that Im not going to be
home tonight. Can we stop by CVS and get a toothbrush? I didnt bring
mine. Really silly stuff.
This wont work with one girl. One girl by herself is going to think,
whoa, slow down, I dont know you. But with several girls, theyre not
going to think youre serious when youre saying youre going to sleep
with all of them tonight. And youre hitting on them in the middle of the
daytime at a crosswalk in the street. Its so outrageous, it actually gets a
positive response. The same thing applies with a group of women sitting
down, only you need to be sensitive to any of them who are in rapport,
which many of them will be during the day.
If I have nothing else to say when I walk into a place during the day, and
girls are sitting down at a table, one of my favorite banter lines is, Holy
crap. My horoscope said this was going to happen. Theyll say, What?
Whats going to happen? to which you reply, That I was going to run
into four really cute girls and they were going to laugh at everything I
said and think I was awesome and charming.
No one is going to expect this, I promise. And thats why it works so
well.

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Mixed Groups
Approaching mixed groups during the daytime is probably the most
advanced scenario I can think of. It takes a bit of social engineering and
finesse in order to make it work. You typically will have a guy (or several
guys) leading a bunch of women around. In his mind, that guy is the
leader of this group, and if you step in right away and start trying to
lead, youre going to get a lot of resistance from him. Hes going to try
to cheese you up and be a dick, and the girls arent going to leave him
because hes the leader, which means theyre going to have to reject you.
If the group is out during the day time drinking and having a crazy good
time, you can integrate into the group in a similar way to what we discussed
for mixed groups at nighttime. But, usually its not going to work out that
way, and integrating with them is very difficult, if not impossible. But,
you can introduce yourself, get someones number and then meet up with
them at nighttime, where youll know exactly what to do.
To get into a mixed group like this, you have to come in seeming like
youre supplicating. I know thats weird and I wouldnt normally advise
it, but in this case, its necessary just to get your foot in the door before
it gets slammed on you. You are actually going to use value dynamics to
make it seem like you are less valuable than you are. Essentially, youre
going to come in asking for help. You can approach by saying Hey, I
want to ask you a question because you guys look like you know what
youre doing. Involve the leader in this process.
If youre in a new place youve never been to before, it could be, Hey, I
dont live here. Im just visiting, and I dont want to waste my night and
go to some BS place. What are the cool places to go around here? Thats
it. Keep talking to them for a little while and get an answer out of them.
Another really great question to ask in a mixed group is, How do you all
know each other? Once you connect and get some back-story, you can
say, Hey, if you guys are going out anywhere later on, let me know. Id
love to meet up with you guys and hang out. Then you lock something
down for later.

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To lock something down for later, start by asking, I want to go to a
bar later on. Where do you think I should go? This is a great question
because if they happen to be going out together later, they will tell you
the bar theyre going to and youll have people there you already know.
Once they give you a recommendation for a bar, get the phone number
of the guy whos leading the group. You can say, Look Im going to go
to this other place tonight. Im going to get there a little bit early. Ill text
you and let you know if its cool, if it is cool you guys should swing by.
Now youve got the number of the leader, the one whos calling the shots
on where the group goes. Youll be able to integrate later that day or
later on that week, but probably not right then. Thats the best chance
you have of actually being able to infiltrate that group and attract the
women you want.

Propinquity
Propinquity is a term meaning social proximity. It means that women
are much more likely to date men who are already accepted within their
social group. If a woman has to leave her social group in order to date
a guy, she has to overcome a lot of social barriers and pressure and
usually wont want to do that. So what do you do?
You join every social group you can.
Every group you run into and connect with, you join, and you will increase
the number of available women for you to date exponentially.
Badass tip: Whenever youre talking to a waitress or bartender, one of
the best questions you can ask is where the food service industry nights
are. Just ask them Where do all the other servers and bartenders go
to drink? Usually theres one night, industry night, when all the servers
and bartenders go out to socialize. Typically its once a week on an offnight like Sunday or Monday.
Once you know where industry night is, you should make a point to go
there and socialize with everyone. The waitress that you were talking to

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is probably going to be there, and she wont be in work-mode so youll
be able to connect with her as more than just a customer. This is great
because service industry people can be very cliquey they only hook up
with each other and consider customers off-limits, part of a different
world.
This is also great because industry night is the Mecca of free drinks.
When you start to befriend all the bartenders and servers in a particular
area, whenever you go out to any of their bars, youll get hooked up big
time. Youll position yourself as an insider, and youll have insider value
at every bar in town.
If you do start getting hooked up, you absolutely have to tip well, thats
one of the unspoken rules. They live off tips. When I was a bartender,
I used to blow my tip money every week on five drinks at one place. I
would tip really well, and then theyd all come to my bar and tip really
well. I would end up getting a whole lot of people tipping me back, and
Id make more money because I tipped so well in the first place.

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10. What to Say

When
Meeting Women at Night
One girl dancing The Spin of Destiny
Put out your hand, and when she takes it, spin her around.
Then, turn your back for a second and look over your shoulder.
Smile and start dancing with her. This is playful and starts off the
interaction by gaining compliance and balancing positive/negative
body language.
One girl sitting Create an us-bubble
Pull up a chair next to her and point out something across the
room. Hey, what do you think of those two? She will feel isolated
sitting alone so you want to make her comfortable and become
her home base.
One girl standing
Indirect be the Social Ambassador
Start a conversation with someone random, then tap her
on the shoulder, step back, and seamlessly turn it into a
3-way conversation. You will be the attractive, cool guy
who knows everyone, and she will feel comfortable right
away.
Direct Castling and Locking In
Take her hand, and, as you spin her, smoothly switch places.
You will steal her spot against the wall or bar, ending up
in the power position. From there, shamelessly flirt and
role play: I stole your spot! Are you flirting with me? Do
you always pick up guys like this? Im not that easy. Im
hard to get. This is ballsy and playful, shes not used to it
happening, and you come across as very confident and fun.

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Two girls dancing
Double spin
Use the same spin move as you would with one girl dancing,
but respect the dynamic between the two girls. Spin one
girl, then the next, then start dancing and being fun and
high-energy. If you have a drink, have one girl hold it while
you spin the other, then switch. This is called a compliance
test.
Cheers and woo
Cheers them both and say woo! then start dancing. This
is very simple and it matches the high energy of the dance
floor.
Take photos
Hand a girl your camera without hesitation and say Hey,
Ive been looking for fun girls like you, lets get a quick
picture. Do this playfully and with high energy or it wont
work. Have one girl take a picture of you and her friend,
then switch, then get a bystander to take one of all three
of you. Then start dancing.
Bump into them
Casually bump into them, as if you werent paying attention,
then flirt and role play: Did you just grab my ass? Did you
just bump me to try to get my attention? Im so tired of girls
trying to grind my ass on the dance floor MAKE SURE to
be very gentle and controlled whenever you bump a girl!
Two girls sitting first assess if they are in rapport or not!
In deep rapport dont do it!
They will be facing each other, making strong eye contact,
and having an intense conversation. Its best not to
approach right then because it will be very difficult. If you
must, do it as a drive-by to warm them up for later. Pay
them a quick compliment, handle objections so they know
you only have a quick second and wont be interrupting
their serious talk, and then leave. Come back to them later
when they are not in rapport.

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Not in rapport spin one girl and steal her seat
They will be sitting more open to the room, not facing each
other with their legs or intensely talking. Walk up to one
girl, preferably the more submissive one (if you can tell),
and put out your hand. Dont lean in or face her directly.
When she takes your hand, lean back, smoothly pull her
up, twirl her, and sit down in her seat. Be playful Ha, I
just stole your seat then up and pull up a chair to join
them. Respect the two-girl dynamic; you cant ignore one
of them! You can also move them around, tell them to
move over, get up, etc.
Two girls standing again, assess whether they are in deep
rapport or not
In deep rapport dont do it!
This is the same dynamic as with two girls sitting in deep
rapport. Be very careful here
Not in rapport great!
Indirect - use misdirection and compliance
Have one of them hold your drink while you do something
random like adjust your shoe. Then, take it back, say
thanks, and start talking. This must be spontaneous,
like you were distracted and didnt even realize they
were hot girls.
Direct use misdirection in a funny way
Shift from a surprised look to joking around. Ex: Oh
my God its you two again! What are the odds? Or, shift
from a mad/skeptical look to joking. Ex: I told you two
to stop talking about me! Im right here, stop talking
about how awesome I am!
Groups of Girls Dancing Integration
Merge one group with another. Create a fun, high energy group with
easily approachable people, like a group of guys and unattractive
girls you met during your warm-up period, and merge them with
the group of girls you want to meet. Either open up a dance circle
and widen it to include both groups, or otherwise create controlled
chaos until both groups are inter-mingling.

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Groups of Girls Sitting Down
Indirect Table Integration
Sit at an adjacent table with another group, closest to the
girls who are not in rapport, and turn to start talking to
them. When you have most of the groups attention, jump
to their table or push your tables together.
Direct Shameless Flirting
Pull up chairs and join them. They will feel comfortable as
a group, so direct flirting will work well. Say, Hey, theres
a table of cute girls, lets go sit with them. So are you girls
in a band or something? Are you a basketball team? Is this
your Twilight book club?
Taking photos (in threes)
Again, dont ask for pictures, just put the camera in
someones hand and make it happen. Ex: Hey lets get
a picture with the band. Get three pictures: picture one
is normal, picture two is silly/goofy/gangsta/whatever, and
picture three is sexy. The third picture is important because it
takes the interaction to a sexual level in a safe and fun way.
Two or more girls standing up walk up and join the group.
These are the easiest girls to approach because they feel safe as a
group. Walk up and say, Hey, Im going to hang out with you girls
for a second because you look fun. Youre fun right? Remember
to make eye contact with everyone, balance your positive and
negative body language, and dont let anyone lose energy or drop
out of the interaction (unless you want them to).
Mixed Groups
Come in as a follower, end up as the leader
Turn off all sexuality at first and just be friendly Hey,
you guys look fun, Im gonna talk to you for just a second.
If they are sitting down, ask a few of them for permission
to sit down. This is deliberately to avoid making enemies
with any dominant guys who might resent your presence.
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once youre into the group you start to assume a leadership
role. Start moving them somewhere, introducing them to
other people, being more dominant and leading.
Mayor Walking
Walk through the group like a politician, shaking hands and
kissing babies. Briefly meet everyone. Ex: Hey, welcome!
Hey, all right! Nice to meet you! Etc. They will all assume
you are someone important, like a promoter or owner, and
just roll with it. Avoid what do you do questions until the
effect dies down.

Meeting Women During The Day

One girl walking
Buzzing In
Walking toward you stop her and create an us-bubble
Put your hand out (palm down), get her attention, and
turn shoulder to shoulder with her. Point at something
and start talking about it. Ex: Hey, Im trying to get to
the subway station, is it that way? It should be very
smooth and coordinated, so she wont resist stopping
to talk to you for a second. Once shes stopped without
objection you can start bantering and building attraction.
Make sure to time the buzzer right so you dont scare
her or provoke a recoil response.
Walking with you get her attention and walk with
her.
Catch up to her, and come around from the side, so she
has time to notice you without being startled. Do this
on the non-purse side! Then continue as noted above,
walking with her in the same direction.
Direct Flirting
Jog after her and use a funny misdirection joke like, Hey,
Matilda, Matilda! When she tells you that isnt her name,
you say, I know, but you didnt tell me your name so I

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had to guess. Smile, start walking with her and flirting.
Ex: So where are we going? Your place or mine? Are you
kidnapping me?
One girl standing
Twirl her and put your phone into her hand
This is hilarious, and shell take it because you are using
compliance and misdirection. Its also fun and playful, and
will snap her out of her daytime pattern. Important note make sure you spend enough time talking with her, so she
will actually remember you, or that phone number will be
worthless!
Direct compliment
This is a major pattern interrupt because no one does this
during the day. It creates an amazing movie-moment. Ex:
I literally just saw you and I had to come tell you, you
look amazing. What I noticed about you was
Misdirection joke
Approach her in a way that plays off of what she expects,
and twists it in a funny, flirty way. Example: with one
girl standing at a bookstore, hand her a book to ask her
opinion on it, and make that book something absurd like
the dictionary. When she laughs, start shamelessly flirting.
Ex: So do you come here often? Whats your sign? You
live around here? This works because its a silly joke.
Its charming and could not possibly be mistaken for
seriousness or creepiness.
One girl sitting be incredibly romantic and direct
Sit down with her, in a rapport position, and tell her I was walking
by and I looked in here and saw you, and I had to come in and
meet you because youre incredibly beautiful. Whats your name?
Hold strong eye contact and use a deep seduction voice. This
difficult, but is extremely attractive and will give her butterflies.
From there the job of building attraction is done and you can move
straight into rapport.

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Two girls walking
Buzzing In
Walking toward you - buzz in and stop them
Same as stopping one girl, but you can be more direct
because they will feel more comfortable together. Dont
create an us-bubble this time. Make sure to face them
both directly so one girl doesnt feel excluded.
Walking with you buzz in and walk with them
Approach from the side, get their attention and
shamelessly flirt. Ex: You girls are super cute, I just
wanted to catch up with you for a minute and see how
awesome you are. Where are you taking me? Look at
your smile, youre so cute. Where are we going? Again,
avoid buzzing in around their purses!
Misdirection Joke
Use your phone or map for playful misdirection that
plays off of what they expect during the day. Ex: Excuse
me, I was wondering if you could help me find a good
reason to talk to you because youre super cute. Or:
Can you tell me where Starbucks is? Actually who
cares, I just needed a reason to say hi because youre
freaking beautiful.
Two girls sitting down Shameless Flirting
Sit down at an adjacent table or seat and shamelessly flirt with
them. Do it loudly, so its clear that you are bold and unafraid of
people overhearing. Ex: Wow, how could I not sit here when you
girls are so cute? How do you get anything done looking so good
all the time, dont guys hound you all day? Or: Holy crap, my
horoscope said this was going to happen! When they ask what?
you say, That I was going to meet two cute girls who would love
me and laugh at my jokes and think Im awesome. Smile and be
spontaneously playful, not creepy or rehearsed.
Groups of women (standing, walking or sitting) - Shameless Flirting

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They will feel safe in their group, so direct flirting will go really well.
Ex: Whoah, youre my new girlfriend. Youre awesome, where are
we going? Holy crap, youre all gorgeous. Ok, youre all my new
girlfriends, where are you taking me? Are we having a slumber
party? Can we stop by CVS because I forgot my toothbrush. No
one expects this, which is why it works so well. If they are walking
somewhere, walk with them, because its too hard to stop them
all at once.
Mixed groups (standing, walking or sitting) Integrate with
a need for help
Just like at nighttime, you want to be submissive at first, so the
guys dont feel threatened and they allow you in. Ex: You guys
seem cool, know of any cool bars around here for later? Get the
number of the leader and meet up with them later. Remember that
girls are much more comfortable dating within their social groups,
so its a good idea to join as many social groups as you can!

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11. Pulling the

Trigger

o once youve built up all this attraction, what do you do with it?
Shes smiling and enjoying your company. Youve been flirting,
touching, and having a great time, but if you dont know where
to go next, all that attraction you just built will fizzle out. Her eyes will
start wandering, her responses will get shorter, and eventually the fun
vibe you worked so hard to capture will die out. Shell say it was real
nice meeting you and leave. Or make an excuse: I have to go to the
bathroom, be right back. Ten minutes later, you see her across the
room, laughing with some other guy.
Any of this sounding familiar?
In order to prevent this from happening, you need to know how (and
when) to pull the trigger and shift phases from attraction to rapport and
seduction. Youll dial down the silliness and flirting and show her that
you have a deeper side to your personality. Youll stop acting so much
like a fun little boy and start to act like a friend, and eventually, a man.
This is the final stage of attraction. Weve talked about all the other
stages: getting ready, walking in, warming up, and meeting women.
The final one is pulling the trigger. You want to shift the interaction into
rapport, typically some place where the two of you can be alone.
At nighttime, your goal is to isolate; to get her away from the crowd
where you can connect with each other on a deeper level. This is after
youve already created attraction and everything is going positively.
During the day, you want to take her on an instant date; somewhere
you can sit down and go into rapport. Ive broken each of those down
into several steps, but in both cases, the first thing you need to do is
to qualify her.

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Qualifying
If you dont understand qualification you are missing out on something
huge. Most guys think that once they have a girl laughing and enjoying
their company, theyre home free. This is why most guys suck at this.
If youve ever had a girl you thought was totally into you, laughing at
your jokes and giving you tons of positive body language, leaning in,
touching, etc and at some point the attraction fizzled out, she got
awkward, and went to the bathroom, its probably because you didnt
qualify her.
Qualification is the glue that makes attraction stick. It takes all the
attraction you just built and solidifies it; keeps it from falling apart.
And it is the number one thing guys dont understand about talking to
women.
Remember the cat/dog analogy. Cats want a chase; they want what isnt
easy to have. You have positioned yourself as the prize, and in order
for the attraction to stick, she needs to feel like shes winning you over.
You do this by qualifying. This means showing her that she has made an
impression on you in some way and that you like her because of that.
Specifically, that you like her for something unique; not just the fact
that shes hot, which is what everyone likes her for. Youve already gone
through some joking around and bantering and now you want her to
chase you a little bit.
You want her to invest.
There are a few different ways to do this, all of which are covered in the
Tao of Badass in greater detail, so Ill just breeze over them here. The
simplest way is to recognize when a woman starts naturally qualifying
herself to you. This is when she starts to sell herself to you, usually
by throwing in non-sequiturs that seem like bragging. Shes trying to
impress you with something about herself. Most guys find this a huge
turnoff, but its actually a very good thing. Women only naturally qualify
themselves to guys they really, really want to win over. Shes basically
trying to find a reason for you to like her; a reason that she can accept.
Usually, this is a reason other than her looks. Maybe she needs you to

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think that shes intelligent. Thats the thing she feels is most valuable
about herself. Whenever you notice that a woman is qualifying herself to
you, accept her for whatever quality she is trying to impress you with.
All you have to say is thats really cool, I like that.
If she doesnt qualify herself naturally, you want to find a reason to
qualify; a reason to accept her. One way is called the questions qualifier.
The questions qualifier is a question to the effect of, What are your
three most positive dominant qualities? This is interesting because she
will respond by telling you the three things that she wants you to like
about her. She will think to herself, What could I say right now that will
make this guy like me? and then rattle off three qualities about herself.
If you just accept those three things, youve qualified her.
Another way to qualify is called the self-fulfilling prophecy qualifier.
You will state a quality that you want her to have, as if you assume
she already has it. To give you an example, you might say to her, I
dont know if other people say this to your or not, or if youve heard
this before, but I get a feeling when Im around you that youre really
open, and that makes me feel really comfortable. Like youre open to
trying new things, youre open to having new conversation. I feel really
comfortable, and to me, thats really rare and I really appreciate it a lot.
It makes me feel happy.
Youre essentially stating something that you hope is true about her
or that you want to be true about her and then accepting her for that
thing. This invokes the power of consistency, which is a pretty powerful
psychological trigger. Just by accepting your statement, a person will
now feel compelled to act in that way around you. They will need to act
in a way thats consistent with the quality they just agreed they have.
If I said, I really like being around you because youre so in control and
you take charge so much, even if you dont really believe that about
yourself, youre going to act that way when youre around me. Thats
what youll want to do. When you tell a woman that you feel comfortable
because shes so open all the time to trying new things, she will start
to assume those qualities. This is a more advanced qualifying process.

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Nighttime - Isolation
The Frustration
Once youve qualified a girl, you dont need to spend any more time
bantering and flirting; you need to isolate her. The Frustration is the
best way I know to start doing this. When youre trying to get a girl to
go somewhere else and be alone with you, you need to have a reason
why. You can usually have one of a few different reasons why you want
to move with her, and they are:
1. You cant hear her.
2. Its too crowded/theres too much going on.
3. Youre tired of standing up.
Those are the three most common frustrations youll have. You just need
plausible deniability. You need a reason to get her away from everyone
else to be alone. It doesnt have to be a very good reason; its just a
reason that kind of makes sense, enough for her to say okay and do it.

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The delivery of this frustration is very important. You have to be expressive
with your face during this process. As shes talking to you, after youve
qualified and youre having a conversation, you want to furrow your
brow and to point to your ear. Thats the universal expression for I cant
hear you.
When its loud, a lot of guys will lean over to talk to girls. This is called
pecking and you should never do it. Instead, stand up straight and
make her come to your ear. Then say, I cant hear anything youre
saying. Lets go over here.
If you want to communicate There are too many people or Theres
too much going on, youre going to have a completely different kind of
expression. That frustration is communicated with your eyebrows up,
eyes kind of wide, and hands up, like Whoa, theres way too much
stuff going on. This also comes across when you fall back on your heels
a little. You are communicating a sense of overwhelm. Then you say,
Theres way too much stuff happening. We need to go over here.
If it isnt too crowded, this might not work. And if there isnt a lot of
noise, saying, I cant hear you might not work. Then again, it still
might. The truth is that most women dont really care. She just needs a
reason to go somewhere with you. She already likes you. Youve already
qualified her and solidified the attraction. She wants to hang out with
you one-on-one. But shes not going to make the move. Thats your job.
Another good reason to express frustration is that youre tired of standing
up. This is physical. You inhale, and then furrow your brow while youre
inhaling. Then, on the exhale, you want to drop all your body language
down to an almost slouching position. Youre essentially saying Im
tired. Lets go sit down. This is a completely non-verbal sentence. You
dont have to say anything. You can just exhale, and shell get it.

The Journey
In this process it is very, very important that you dont stop believing.
Its also important to use one particular technique called cave-manning.
This is simple. Youre going to deliver your frustration, as in I cant hear

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anything youre saying, lets go over here, and as you say, Lets go
over here, youre going to take her by the hand, and youre just going
to walk.

Youre not going to ask, Do you want to go over here? Do you want to
sit down? Is it okay if you go over here? Do you want to go in front of
me? Is it okay if I hold your hand? None of that stuff. Youre going to
take her by the hand and lead her to where you want her to go. Assume
that shell follow you, and she will. This is the modern-day version of
clocking her on the head with a club and then dragging her by the hair
back to your cave.
Disclaimer: I do not condone clubbing a girl on the head and dragging
her around by the hair. Unless she tells you shes into that kind of thing

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The Setup
When you get to the end of the journey, you want to find a place to
sit down, if possible. Sitting down is much more conducive to building
rapport than standing up. Find a couch or some chairs to sit down with
her. Move things around if necessary. Take the lead on this because you
want to set this up in a specific way. Its ideal to sit down next to each
other, at an angle. You want your knees to touch.

The closer you can get, physically, with the girl youre sitting with during
rapport, the better. The biggest mistake I see guys make in rapport is
that they sit down across from the girl instead of sitting next to the girl.
This leads to an awkward, this is a proper dinner date sort of vibe and
makes it very hard to touch her in the ways you want to be touching her.
And when you go into a rapport with a girl without touching her at all,
you will usually wind up in the friend zone.
You also dont want to sit directly next to her because that presents
another set of problems. From that position, if you want to give her

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positive body language and face her more, what do you have to do?
You have to put your knees really close together and twist your torso
toward her. This is not only awkward and uncomfortable, but anytime
your knees are really close, you are in a submissive sitting position. So
youre left with either turning toward her and appearing submissive, or
sitting normally and not giving her enough positive body language. And
in rapport, youre going to start giving lots of positive body language,
and physically escalating to a more sexual level.
Escalating touch during rapport is very, very, very important. Youre
going to escalate your touch according to what I call TLC: temporary,
lingering, constant; in that order.
In the beginning, youll have temporary touching, which lasts one to
three seconds before taking your hand off. Lingering touch will last
between three to seven seconds, and constant touch means moving
your hand from one place to another without taking it off at all. If you
dont want to risk ending up in the friend zone with a girl you really like
(which is a problem I hear from guys literally every day) you should
start this process of physical escalation from the very first second you
meet a girl.
Now, if you cant sit down with a girl to build rapport, you want to lock
in against a wall somewhere. This is similar to the castling move I
described earlier, where you end up leaning back in the power position.
But this time, instead of spinning her and switching places, youre just
going to walk straight at the wall and lean back against it. Youve got
her by the hand the entire time, and when you lean back, you pull
her in close to you. You take her hand and put it behind your back, so
shes wrapped around you as youre talking. This is very intimate and
its going to push the two of you over the edge and help rapport go
very, very smoothly. It will also help you transition into seduction very
easily.

Rapport and Beyond

After the setup, the phase of attraction is complete and youll go into
the next phases of interaction: rapport, seduction, and relationship

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balance. Now the real work starts. In rapport, you have to know
exactly how to access different parts of your brain to bring out certain
emotions that she can connect with. You also have to know how to take
one of those emotions and connect it to another one; take one topic
and relate it to another one that can elicit the emotions you want to
get from her.
When you get good at rapport, you can start by talking about eggs and
end up talking about dirty sex. I would love to talk about how to do this,
but unfortunately, its outside the scope of this book. I do go into rapport
in great detail in The Tao of Badass.

Daytime Instant Dates

During the daytime, pulling the trigger is going to be all about creating
an instant date. Keep in mind that youre pattern-interrupting as a major
way of getting her out of her head and into the moment with you; to
sort of wake up and get on board with your flirtation and attraction. To
pull the trigger and solidify that attraction, you have to play off of that
concept.

The Inspiration
After you qualify her, you want to suddenly become inspired by whats
happening between the two of you. Youll be in the middle of a conversation,
and you will realize for the first time what youre doing. Youre talking
to her, everything is going great, shes laughing and smiling, and you
say You know what? This is awesome. This is called a statement of
whats so. You call out exactly whats happening in the moment when
its happening. Just call it right out.
You might use a statement of whats so to get her inside of your head,
as in I cant believe that Im standing here talking to you. I just met
you, and Ive been talking with you for 20 minutes on the street. This
is amazing. This never happens to me. Im just walking to the store to
get something to eat, and I ran into you. This is amazing. Thats the
inspiration.

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If you dont call that out, she wont really recognize that this moment is
different because you probably made her feel very comfortable in the first
place and shes not even thinking about it. Shes just enjoying the process.
You have to all of a sudden pull it back and show her that this is not really
normal. It doesnt really happen. But it just did, and its amazing.

The Relocation
After you make that statement of whats-so, you want to relocate to
somewhere more conducive to rapport. You are going to have an idea,
all of a sudden, to go somewhere else with her immediately and continue
this.
Heres how you want to present this: You know what? I have a crazy
idea. Lets go over here and grab a cup of coffee real quick. Notice that
you arent saying Lets go have a cup of coffee together. Thats very

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different than grab a cup of coffee real quick. The real quick part is
there to overcome objections.
Shes going to want to come with you, but shell think Where was I
going? Should I go with him? Am I going to be late for something?
Shell be thinking all these logical thoughts. You want this to feel very
spontaneous, not logical or thought-out ahead of time. And you dont
want her to come up with logical reasons not to go, so you have to
handle those objections ahead of time. Why let her talk herself out of
having a great time with you?

The Conversation
As soon as you get to where youre going, order your drink and sit down,
and get her phone number immediately. Say, Before I forget, go ahead
and put your number in my phone. Thats all you have to do. Keep in
mind, if youve qualified her properly and she came to sit down with you,
shes already basically said, I like you, so of course shell give you her
number. Dont ask for the number. Just assume thats the case and tell
her to put it in your phone (you should always get numbers like this, by
the way).

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Next, go through light, wide, and deep rapport twice, and only twice,
while youre talking with her. This is part of the rapport formula outlined
in The Tao of Badass so again, Im not going to go into too much detail on
how to do that right now. But you need to go through that process twice.
This solidifies what just happened. It makes it real for her. If you dont
solidify the connection you just made, when she goes home its going to
feel like a fairy tale to her. Shes going to start waking up out of it and
will then walk back through it in her memory and start to tear it apart
so that its not magical anymore. You dont want that to happen. You
want this to stay magical. If you build rapport and go through that cycle
twice, youll solidify everything you just did, and she will answer the
phone, respond back, and be really excited to talk to you again.

The Separation
Finally, youre going to separate. Even though its going really well, you
have to break it off. Heres what I want you to say to her: Look, Im
having a great time but I really have got to get going right now. But
before I go, I want you to promise me that were going to do this again.

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This is very powerful. You just swept a girl off of her feet and built this
great rapport with her, and now youre leaving. Shell say I promise.
Shes going to be happy to say that of course. As soon as you leave,
youre going to text her. Youll say bye and hug her, and as you walk
away, youll start texting this: That was fun . Thats it.
Shes going to respond back immediately and say something like, I
know. It was so great. Shell still be caught up in this whirlwind of
flirtation, excitement, and happiness. Shell be really happy she met
you. That doesnt normally happen to her. That was fun will open up
the texting back and forth.
Important note: Never build rapport over text. I had to learn this the
hard way. Lots of guys dont know this, but its a huge deal. This is
because touch is crucial to building rapport, and you cant touch her
over text. If you build rapport over text, nine times out of ten youre
going to fall in the friend zone, because you cant anchor that trust to
physical attraction or sexual attraction. Keep that in mind, and only use
texting to banter, make her smile, and most importantly, as a necessary
tool for getting her out to see you again.
The next time you see her, youre going to go straight into attraction
again briefly, bantering and being fun, and then back into rapport.
From there, youre going to go through rapport and then transition into
seduction.

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12. Conclusion
Im going to be really, really honest with you right now.
You should not believe anything you just read.
Not until you actually go out and try it, that is. Thats what I did, and you
need to as well, because until you actually put this attraction knowledge
into action, its nothing more than a collection of interesting ideas on a
page.
Everything in this book is the result of years and years of social
experimentation. I tried everything hundreds of times, hundreds of
different ways. I deconstructed every interaction I had and took apart
every method I used until I could understand how it worked. Then I finetuned it and put it back together into a finished product, the result of
which you just finished reading. I know from experience that everything
you just read works.
But you need to know it from experience too.
When you start to apply the knowledge youve just learned, I want to
hear how it goes for you. I absolutely love hearing from my students
when they get the results theyve always dreamed of getting. I have
hundreds of badass success stories in my inbox. They are the primary
reason I do what I do. I want to share a few of those stories with you,
to give you an idea of the results you can get when you fully commit to
this process.
I had the pleasure of seeing one of my students turn from a shy guy who
had no idea how to get out of his shell, to an absolute social machine.
Everything changed for him when he realized he was skipping over the
fundamentals, and he realized that attraction begins before a girl even
sees you, when youre getting ready.

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He related this story to me...
One night, before he went out, he made a hot stuff playlist (Lil Wayne,
Kanye, Jay Z, Black Keys, etc). He was laughing and joking with his
buddies on the way to the bar, just getting into a talkative mood. He
showed up completely in-state and ready to be a social badass.
Right when he walked in, he pumped his state even more with a dumb
joke he was saving just for that purpose (so a baby seal walks into a
club). Then he immediately started talking to people and giving highfives. He was running the room, doing the Bar Walk and throwing out
drive-by compliments to everyone, like Hey, youre awesome, Ill be
right back! Hey, you girls are super cute, remind me to come back
and flirt with you in a second! He said he felt something different that
night, something he had never felt before. Like there was this awesome
vibe filtering through the crowd and he could tell everyone was sort of
looking at him.
He went overboard on the warming up, just because he was nervous
to talk to the really hot girls. He maintained strong eye contact with
everyone he talked to, despite his nerves, and walked around with
dominant body language head up, shoulders back, standing tall. He
became the social ambassador of the bar, talking to guys, unattractive
girls and bartenders, and once he met a few people, he started going
back and introducing them all to each other. Some girl asked him if he
was a promoter, because she didnt understand how else he could be
so popular. 45 minutes into the night, he was absolutely on fire. He felt
completely fearless and in control, like the bar was his domain and he
could do whatever he wanted.
He had noticed, earlier, this gorgeous girl standing by the bar. Tall,
blonde, tight dress absolute bombshell. Guys had been coming up to
her all night and buying her drinks, and she had been smiling politely,
taking the drinks and then turning her back on them. When he noticed
her again he said he felt this boldness come over him, like he just knew
exactly what to do.

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He walked straight up to her, got her attention, then took her hand,
twirled her and stole her seat at the bar. He still had her by the hand
so he pulled her in close to him and said so are you going to buy me
a drink now or what? He was so scared to do this, he thought she was
going to slap him or get angry, but instead something weird happened
she loved it! They started teasing each other and role-playing, like she
was trying to hit on him and pick him up. He thought she might be a
crazy, bitchy ice queen, but she was actually really fun.
She started to talk about how hot and in-demand she was, and how
annoying it was having all these guys trying to buy her drinks (humblebragging), and he realized she was qualifying herself; trying to impress
him. So he qualified her You know, I guess you are pretty cool and
he realized it was time to pull the trigger. So he acted frustrated, like he
couldnt hear her through the noise, took her by the hand, and led her
over to a couch.
They sat down next to each other and she leaned into him a little. He
followed the rapport formula and she started opening up to him, telling
him about her protective older brother, and which cartoons she watched
as a kid, and that she hated the way her eyes looked without makeup.
He told her about being a theater geek in high school. He kept escalating
things physically while talking, and looking her deep in the eyes, and
about ten minutes later she was climbing on top of him.
When his friends came looking for him later, he was in the corner making
out with the hottest girl in the bar. And this was a guy who hardly ever
got bar make-outs with any girl, period. After 30 minutes or so things
were getting pretty hot and heavy, so he just took her by the hand again
and led her straight out the door, into a cab, and back to his apartment.
He emailed me a few days later to say it was literally the best night of
his life, and he couldnt wait to go out and do it all over again.

Another one of my students had a much different personality. He

absolutely hated going to bars, so meeting women during the day was
more appealing to him.

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This is what happened to him after starting to put some of the material
you just learned into practice...
He woke up one day to that feeling that he desperately needed a day
off, so he called in sick to work. Hes not normally a morning person,
but as he was getting dressed he put on some upbeat music (Red Hot
Chili Peppers) and it got him into a pretty good mood. It was kind of a
rainy, overcast day and he walked down the street to get some coffee.
On the walk there he did the eye-contact exercise I had taught him, and
intentionally made eye contact with everyone on the street. He made
sure to smile at anyone who looked at him, and he actually got a few
cute girls to smile back, which felt pretty good.
He decided it was a good time to try out the daytime warm-up process,
so he got his social juices flowing by asking one or two guys for the
time, and then asking a few girls where Starbucks was. This was weird
for him to do because he already knew the answer, but of course, that
wasnt the point. He was feeling pretty good so he even threw out a few
drive-by compliments: Hey man, I like your shirt. Hey, cool style, I
like that. Hey you know what, you have a really nice smile. He walked
into Starbucks feeling pretty damn awesome.
He took a few steps inside, looked around, and caught this really hot
brunette girl in the corner, kind of looking around. He thought she might
have looked at him but he couldnt tell, then she looked back down and
continued reading her book. He got in line and ordered his coffee, and
he was feeling great so he started bantering loudly with the baristas. So
hows work going so far? Arent you just a little ball of sunshine. He
had the girls behind the counter giggling like crazy. He made a little more
small talk while putting cream in his coffee, then he made his move.
He walked over to that girl, grabbed a chair and pulled it up next to
her, and then he looked her in the eyes and said the most emotionally
honest thing he had ever told a stranger: You know, I wasnt going to
come over here, but then I realized Id regret it for the rest of the day if
I didnt meet you. You are absolutely gorgeous. Whats your name? He
was completely afraid but he knew he had to do it, and in retrospect he
realized she was actually even more nervous than he was. She dropped
her book, smiled, and told him her name.

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They talked for a while and got to know each other. She turned out
to be a grad student studying international relations, and lived in his
neighborhood. He didnt share a ton of details, but he did mention that
for the entire conversation their eye contact created the most intense
connection he had ever felt.
They got along really well but he didnt want to stay too long and ruin
the vibe, so he took her number and made her promise to do this with
him again. Later that evening, she made good on that promise and met
him for a drink. Then another drink, and another.
They were still having an amazing conversation over breakfast the next
morning, at his place, when she made a confession: when he had first
walked into the coffee shop, she had secretly been hoping he would
come over and talk to her.

Once youve successfully applied the knowledge in this book, your life is
going to change dramatically. You will be meeting women everywhere
you go, day and night. Bars, nightclubs, parties, coffee shops, farmers
markets, grocery stores, shopping malls, in school, at work, next to you
on airplanes, across from you on the bus, walking towards you on the
sidewalk literally anywhere and everywhere you go in life.
A world of possibilities is about to open up for you, one that most guys
never even knew existed. You are about to experience what it feels
like to be truly free in your dating life, to have the power to be with
whomever you choose and enjoy total control over your own happiness.
I only teach guys who are 100% committed to doing whatever it takes
to achieve this level of success. Ive been a professional dating coach
and relationship expert for a long time, and Ive learned there are a lot
of guys out there who love to talk about this stuff. Few of them actually
walk the walk. If youve read this book and have made the effort to go
out and make this entire process work for you, you are definitely one of
the guys who gets it, so congrats man. You should feel like you have the
world at your fingertips.

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Usually, guys that I teach who reach this point, who continue meeting
people and expanding their social influence, realize that they now have a
whole new list of problems. The kinds of problems that come from meeting
tons of hot women, which are quality problems to have, trust me.
They ask me questions like:
When do I go for the kiss?
How do I advance my interactions beyond just flirting, to sex, a
relationship, and beyond?
How do I attract a girl Ive known for a while and never made a
move on, even if shes completely put me in the friend zone?
Once I start meeting tons of women, can I date more than one
at the same time without being dishonest, hurting feelings or
creating any drama?
Once I attract that gorgeous woman I really want, how do I keep
her happy and make sure she never cheats on me?
If thats not you, if this isnt ringing a bell, no worries, man. You will do
just fine with what youve already learned. The information in this book
is more than enough to change your life and get you the kind of success
with women youve always wanted.
But if that does sound like you, if youre not satisfied just yet and are
starting to ask those kinds of questions, then youre probably ready
for the next level. Ive been teaching guys like you how to reach the
next level for almost ten years now, and let me tell you, you are asking
the right things. Now, you and I have a lot more to talk about. More
than I can cover in the scope of this book, which is why Im giving you
complimentary access to one of my video trainings that you can check
out here:
[Video] What The Media Is HIDING About What Women Really
Want<<<<<<<
Within the first 5 seconds, I guarantee youll be thinking WTF???

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But then...
A light bulb is going to go off, and this will reframe the entire way you
interact with women.
Youre going to learn a TON from this presentation, including:
The biggest secret women are hiding about what turns them on
3 stealthy, ninja sexual triggers to turn women on without
them having any idea why...
One major LIE that youve been told which has been secretly
sabotaging your chances with hot women...
The ultimate equalizer, which will let you beat out guys who are
taller, wealthier, better looking, or even more well-endowed than
you are.

What you will learn in this video will give you total control over your
interactions. Getting lucky will no longer be a part of your vocabulary,
because everything good that happens to you will occur by your design.
Theres a lot more to the presentation, and I dont really have the space
here to do it justice, so Ill leave it to you to check it out for yourself.
Again, this is only for guys who are 100% serious about fulfilling their
goals with women and who are willing to do whatever it takes to make
their dreams reality. If you would rather feel safe and comfortable your
entire life, this is probably not for you. And thats okay man, theres
nothing wrong with that. Id just rather get that out there up front
because I dont want to waste your time, or mine.
So, if you think youre ready, check out the presentation, and Ill show
you just how deep this rabbit hole goes. See for yourself what I mean:
[NSFW Video] How Theyve Had Us Fooled For Years<<<<<<<<<<

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Id like to leave you with one last thought. Its a commonly held belief
that knowledge is power. But thats not quite true. Knowledge is not
power. Youve just read a book about what to say when you approach
women. You are now full of knowledge. But immediately after reading
this book, are you incredible at approaching women? No. Youre only
going to get good at that when you apply the knowledge youve just
learned, so the truth is that application is power. Lets face it, you got
this book to actually change your life, not read a bunch of interesting
stuff, right?
As you go through this process - actually, as you go through your entire
life always remember that.

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Power comes from taking action.
So carpe diem badassium, my friend. Go forth and seize a badass day.
Welcome to the next level.
All the best,

(Joshua Pellicer)

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P.S.
Did You Know? ==> You have access to several bonus offers that came
with this book. Check them out below:
The What to Say Unabridged Audio Book. Download this and
listen to it in the car, on the bus, at work, or while youre getting
ready to go out.
The Fashion Formula Bonus Ebook. This is my never-beforereleased guide on exactly what to wear to make you look like a
sharp, attractive, well put-together badass. As a man, you want
to dress in a way that attracts the right kind of attention, and
theres a different way to do this depending on your age and
body type. Youll never go out wondering if women will find you
attractive again.
The Going on Dates Bonus Ebook. Now that you can build attraction with every girl you meet, where should you take her
on your first date? How do you plan it so it goes off without a
hitch, but still comes across looking cool and collected? And what
do you do if she flakes? This bonus ebook will answer all those
questions and more.

Dont Have Access Because You Stole This Manual?

Read below: What I have to say about this is not what youd expect...
I know this might sound weird coming from an author, but I understand
that you had a good reason for stealing this manual. Maybe its because
youre hard up for money? Maybe its because you wanted to check it
out to make sure it was worth the investment? Or maybe it was because
the video that I made to explain what is in this program is too long and
you got pissed so you left and downloaded it somewhere else? I dunno
And the truth is, I dont care why you did it. Im glad that you have this
information in your hands because its going to change your life.

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However: You need to know that this is only a small part of what I teach.
There are over $1,000 worth of other products making up my entire
system and they are FREE to anyone who buys my main program, the
Tao Attraction System. Youll need those products if you want to be able
to use this process smoothly. Those components are the missing pieces
that fill in the gaps this manual leaves open. You just finished reading
the entire process and my guess is that you have a lot of questions.
Well if you want those questions answered, youll need to invest in this
program. I promise itll change your life forever if you do!
You can make it right by clicking here and spending the small investment
to unlock the rest of this program and become part of the members area
so you can ask all of the questions that pop into your head about women
until the end of time. That means that at every single crossroad, where
youd normally screw up because you dont know what to do, youll
have the chance to hit the pause button and ask the experts what you
should say and do to get things back on track for good. Consider this
your way of donating and supporting me because you believe in what I
teach and you want to help me change the world. And, of course, youll
get something awesome for your donation! Youll get ongoing coaching
with women for the rest of your life, some powerful - and necessary bonus products to help you become the ultimate badass with women,
and the opportunity to be a major part of an ongoing movement to help
the rest of the guys out there take their balls back and reclaim their
masculinity. If you got anything useful out of this manual so far, itd be a
very inspiring move for you to go legit with this and really dive into the
real content in the members-only area.
PS. In case you missed those links above, here it is again: The Complete
Tao Attraction System

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