McBratney 1

Madison J. McBratney
Mrs. Mary Martin
English 214
21 April 2016
Observing Obsession
Boy why you so obsessed with me? Pop star Mariah Carey sings, while avoiding a man
with a hoodie sweatshirt and a stubbly face. Mariah Careys music video for her popular song
Obsessed told the story of a man who stalked her because he was so in love with her and wanted
to be with her so much. However, the lyrics of the song dont even discuss the stalking, they
simply discuss a man who has unrequited affection for a girl. Why has this pop culture
phenomena, rumored to be about rapper, Eminem, classified unrequited affection as obsessed?
In pop culture and society, the term obsessed is thrown around willy nilly. Girls who send
a boy more than two texts in a row with no response are called obsessed. People who collect Star
Wars memorabilia and go to conventions are called obsessed. Stalkers and serial killers are called
obsessed. Neat and tidy people are called obsessed. But yet others associate obsession as a bad
thing, making the word itself have a negative connotation.
What exactly is obsession? According to Merriam-Webster Dictionary, obsession is
defined as: a persistent disturbing preoccupation with an often unreasonable idea or feeling.
Right off the bat, we see a negative connotation to obsession, with negative vocabulary
populating the definition. These negative words include disturbing and unreasonable
Obsession is shown by society as a bad thing, usually it is thought of as men and women who are
obsessed with in a negative way with an individual they are attracted to and have romantic

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feelings for. However, for some reason, the psychological disorder; obsessive compulsive
disorder (OCD) is on the other end of the spectrum and romanticized.
While we hear many inaccurate things classified as obsession, we hear just as many
inaccurate things classified as obsessive compulsive disorder. People often claim to be so
OCD or have OCD because they are neat, organized or dont enjoy people touching and/or
moving around their things. However, this is not what obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) is.
Psychology Today defines obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) as: an anxiety disorder in
which people have unwanted and repeated thoughts, feelings, ideas, sensations (obsessions), or
behaviors that make them feel driven to do something (compulsions).Often the person carries out
the behaviors to get rid of the obsessive thoughts, but this only provides temporary relief. Not
performing the obsessive rituals can cause great anxiety.
Looking at these misconceptions and popular culture myths, we ask begin to ask
ourselves some questions. What is obsession really as opposed to what people think obsession is?
What is OCD and how is this different from the romanticized stereotype of OCD? How is
romantic obsession different from men to women to members of the LGBT community? Is
obsession bad? Is obsession always dangerous or perpetuated by one person.
These questions will be answered and reflected upon through a few novels. These novels
include The End of the Affair by Graham Greene, Enduring Love by Ian McEwan and The Sea,
the Sea by Iris Murdoch. A short story by William Faulkner, A Rose for Emily, is also used to
examine obsession. Finally, we look to various real life news events dealing with obsession as
well as the opinion of high schoolers themselves on what is obsession.
Obsession is seen in The End of the Affair. But this stereotypical obsession with a
significant other takes a twist as the obsession turns to the other man. Obsession seems to fester

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more in dysfunctional relationships and nothing is quite as dysfunctional as the dynamics behind
a cheating relationship. His obsessive love for his lover, a married woman, turn to an obsessive
hate and fascination with his lovers husband. Meanwhile, all three of the main characters in this
novel have an obsession with God and religion.
Maurices initial obsession is with Sarah, his beloved mistress. However, it is a healthy
obsession. The kind of obsession that is synonymous with infatuation and occurs when you are
desperately in love with someone and if it is reciprocated, is perfectly acceptable. Once Sarah
breaks off the affair, this loving infatuation turned obsessive. Hiring a private detective to follow
Sarah, Maurice was determined to know her whereabouts at all times. He also turns his obsessive
nature onto Sarahs husband. This shows that obsession does not have to be romantic. Obsession
can be any fixation with a person or thing that becomes unhealthy. Since Maurice cannot have
Sarah, he turns his obsession to what is keeping him from having her, her husband Henry, and
God.
If it wasnt for God in Maurices mind, Sarah would still be his. This is due to Sarah
making the promise to God that if He let Maurice live amidst the bombing raid, she would give
him up. Sarah, despite not being the main character in the novel also develops an obsessive
complex of her own. She obsesses over God and religion, first out of hate and disbelief and then
out of love and passion. Though these emotions are different, they show that obsession can be
characterized by different emotions. This is similar to Maurices obsessive hate for God as well
along with Henry. One can obsessively love, but someone can also obsessively hate. Maurice
feels so much for Sarah, this causes him to have obsessive feelings for anything relating to her.
This complicated web of obsession shows the many forms obsession can take. Maurice
becoming obsessed with Sarah, a former lover, is what we typically see in the media. Maurices

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obsession with someone he hates, Henry, is not seen in the popular culture of obsession. Sarah
brings to the table the idea that you can be obsessed with something that is not a person. She is
obsessive over religion which puts obsession in a more objective sense, comparatively to
characters obsessed with people. The End of the Affair shows readers both ends of the spectrum
when it comes to obsession; obsession over people both romantically and with hatred and
obsession over things.
In Ian McEwans Enduring Love, a man and his wife are touched by a hot air ballooning
accident forever, but not how you may think. Upon witnessing a hot air balloon accident
involving a young boy, Joe and Jed both get involved to try to save the boy. Joe is a middle aged,
married man becomes the object of obsession for Jed, a man diagnosed with de Clerambault's
syndrome. De Clerambault's syndrome, causes the individual to delusionally believe that
someone is in love with them. Joe and Jed share a glance and a moment as they work together to
save the boy. This shared memory is not much, but more than enough to make Jed fall in love
with and become obsessed with Joe.
In Enduring Love, we see an interesting theme that isnt shown in most literary works
regarding obsessive love. McEwan faults the obsession to a mental illness instead of just as being
a blanket crazy. Jeds illness exists as a way to make us feel sympathy and compassion for
him. When there is simply a crazy character, we are disgusted and terrified by them as a reader.
However when a character is specifically described as having a specific disorder we are much
more forgiving and sympathetic to him. The fact that Jed is gay also affects how we feel about
him as readers. Some more conservative and homophobic readers may believe that this makes
Jed a less likeable character. Others may dislike him due to the stigma associated with

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homosexuality, especially middle aged men. Commonly as a culture, we associate pedophilia,
obsession and creepiness with older gay men. Jed fits this stereotype to a t.
As a society, there is also an interesting fixation on gay people who are interested in
straight people. In this phenomena we see straight people immediately believing because
someone is gay, that means they are attracted to them. In this same manner, we also see the idea
of a gay person lusting after or wanting a straight person as disgusting and creepy. However,
when a straight man wants a straight woman who does not want him back, which is essentially
the same thing, we think nothing of it.
Enduring Love presents both of these societal stigmas when we look to Jed, a middle
aged gay man, who is in love with heterosexual and in a relationship Joe. Joe appears to be your
stereotypical victim of obsession, however this may not be the case. Throughout the stalking Joe
endure, he grows accustomed and appreciative of the affection he receives from Jed. This is
shown throughout the letter exchanges between Jed and Joe. While Joe is in a long term
relationship with Clarissa and has always identified as heterosexual, part of him is flattered and
secretly pleased by the attention and affection he receives from Jed. This could be chalked up to
most humans are flattered by being admired and loved, even if the feeling isnt mutual. There is
also the suggestion that perhaps Joe isnt as straight as he may seem and perhaps part of him
enjoys more than just the raw flattery from a man. Some psychologists believe that all humans
have suppressed sexual urges towards the same gender as themselves. This may be the case with
Joe. To the outsider it may appear that Joe is completely opposed to this obsession but his
behavior regarding Jed and responding to his letter correspondence shows differently. This is
why Jed puts such a large strain on Joe and Clarissas relationship. Clarissa sees the feelings that
Joe somewhat returns to Jed despite the obsession which later comes back to haunt as Jed

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kidnaps and attempts to kill Clarissa. During this final scene Joe shows one last act of mutual
affection towards the obsessed Jed. Jed dumps Clarissa onto the floor, after nearly killing her and
then turns the gun on himself. Instead of being concerned about his girlfriend, Joe shoots Jed in
the arm in order to keep him from killing himself. This is his last act of love for Jed, even though
Jeds obsession nearly killed him and the girl he supposedly loved.
Enduring Love taught me that obsession doesnt necessarily have to be completely
unwanted and unreturned. Obsession is usually portrayed as not being wanted by the person
being obsessed over, however Enduring Love taught me through Joes love of Jeds obsession
that this is not always the case and obsession can be perpetuated and made worse by both parties.
Iris Murdoch examines your stereotypical obsession story in The Sea, The Sea but with
a multi-faceted obsession twist. Charles Arroby is a washed up director who now lives by the
seaside, lost in memories of his time among the stars and fame. Charles however, is different
from most obsessed people as he is aware he is obsessed. He himself writes that The theatre is a
place of obsession. Charles has spent years in the theater business and obsessed over his work.
This is another little looked at aspect of obsession; those who becomes obsessed with their
careers or creative works. Once Charles decides to retire and leave the theater business, his
obsession turns into something else entirely. Charles becomes fixated on detoxing himself and
returning to a life that is simple after his glitzy Broadway lifestyle. In order to accomplish this
he moves to the seaside. When he is there, Charles runs into Hartley, his long-lost childhood
sweetheart. In part of his quest to return to his once simple lifestyle, he decides that the most
ideal way to achieve that would be with his pre-Broadway lover, Hartley. However, Hartley is
now married with children and unavailable to Charles. This begins Charless obsession with
Hartley

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On the surface it appears that Charles is obsessed with Hartley, a stereotypical romantic
obsession, however upon closer inspection Hartley isnt what Charles is actually obsessed with.
He obsessed with a state of mind, a way of life before Broadway. He simply sees Hartley as a
means to an end to achieve that life again. Hartley is a character foil from all of the women he
slept with on Broadway. These women were actresses focused on getting ahead, representing
power and fame. Hartley represented innocence and cleanliness. This contrast is what caused
Charles to become obsessed with Hartley, to achieve that life he obsessed over obtaining.
The Sea, The Sea shows that obsession is not always what it seems and obsession over
another person can be caused by other things as well as