Carlstrom 1

RE: WAD Phases 1-3

Dr. Hartman:
I appreciate your suggestions and points that lacked clarification. I have
attempted to remedy areas of confusion and establish more cohesion
between the standards and my rubric. Many elements must coalesce to form
an awesome assignment whereby students generate and experience true
growth as writers. Reviewing this project as a teacher, the assignment
provided such a chance for me. I have attached some additional pages and
my critical reflection at the end since I was a bit uncertain of the order.
Thank you for enabling me to create and polish a unit that will imbue my
students with the joys of writing.
Thank you,
Dean

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Dean Carlstrom
ENG 683
Dr. Hartman
4/24/16
Writing Asn Design Phase 1,2,3 (Final)
Introduction/Overview of Unit:
This project/unit will be incorporated in CP2, Honors British English, and will provide
students with the opportunities to explore various elements of creative writing, work
collaboratively with their peers, and delve into themselves as writers to discover
their voice and experiment with various genres and writing prompts. Students will
explore multiple prompts to establish their skills as they journey through the writing
process and share their journeys with their reading groups. Inside the groups,
students will forge comfortable relationships where writing will be discussed and
ameliorated. The struggles of writing and the joys of success will culminate with a
shared experience and writings that students share orally and publish into a book
for everyone to enjoy. This assignment will also include selfreflection and
ownership that will enable students to grow as writers, thinkers, team members,
and as people.
Purpose:
The ability to express oneself creatively, think outside of the preconceived notions
we all embody, work as a team, understand and appreciate multiple perspectives,
and ultimately produce several works that foster pride and achievement will help
students gain confidence in their skills. Sharing and synthesizing writing efforts as
well as learning how to talk to peers about writing will emerge. The group
discussions will morph into a writing community where chances are taken,
boundaries are extended, and successes celebrated. At the end, students will be
comfortable experimenting and extending their writing, tap into their creative side,
understand more about themselves and their peers, and, hopefully, enjoy writing.
Context:
The writing assignments constructed in this unit will meet specific Colorado State
Standards for 12th grade writing (Standards, specifically pages 14, 19-22 of link attachment.
https://www.cde.state.co.us/coreadingwriting/statestandards ).The design of this unit will mesh within
a 90-minute block and cover approximately 3-4 weeks. The teacher will form groups
based upon previous creative writing assignments submitted, primarily the
Canterbury Tales project. Expectations of group discussions will be clarified with a

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couple of primary expectations: 1). No apologies meaning accept and own your
writing. Yes, it could be better as always but celebrate what you have achieved. 2).
Everyone shares and participates. This will enable the writing community to grow
and establish the feeling that everyone in the group is vested and all are
experiencing the same journey. Handouts to help initiate discussion and respond to
peer writers will be dispersed (Document A and Doc B). The commonality of the trip
will foster the growth of the respective writing groups and enable students to react
positively to their writing as well as that of their peers. When Creative Writing
Class occurs, as different periods within the 90-minute block, focus will center on
enjoying the experience and challenging the existing, preconceived notions about
writing. The celebration at the endpublishingwill enable students to showcase
their talents and achievements.
Goals/Objectives/Standards
Using the Colorado State Standards for writing and group collaboration, this project
will allow students to demonstrate their attainment of such objectives.

1. Effective collaborative groups accomplish goals

Students can:
a. Work with peers to promote civil, democratic discussions and decision-making, set clear
goals and deadlines, and establish individual roles as needed. (CCSS: SL.11-12.1b)
b. Propel conversations by posing and responding to questions that probe reasoning and
evidence; ensure a hearing for a full range of positions on a topic or issue; clarify, verify,
or challenge ideas and conclusions; and promote divergent and creative perspectives.
(CCSS: SL.11-12.1c)
c. Implement an effective group effort that achieves a goal
d. Participate in the preparations of the group activity or product, defining and assuming
individual roles and responsibilities
e. Assume a leadership role in a group that is collaboratively working to accomplish a goal
f. Selfevaluate roles in the preparation and completion of the group goal
g. Critique and offer suggestions for improving presentations given by own group and
other groups

2. Style, detail, expressive language, and genre create a wellcrafted statement directed at an intended audience and purpose
Students can:
a. Use a range of elaboration techniques (such as questioning, comparing, connecting,

interpreting, analyzing, or describing) to establish and express point of view and theme

b. Create a clear and coherent, logically consistent structure appropriate to the chosen literary

genre (biographical account, short story, personal narrative, narrative poem or song, parody
of particular narrative style, play script)

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Manipulate elements of style, imagery, tone, and point of view to appeal to the senses and
emotions of the reader
d. Critique own writing and the writing of others from the perspective of the intended audience
to guide revisions, improve voice and style (word choice, sentence variety, figurative
language) and achieve intended purpose and effect
c.

3. Ideas, evidence, structure, and style create persuasive,

academic, and technical texts for particular audiences and specific
purposes.
d. Select and build context for language appropriate to content (technical, formal)

e. Control and enhance the flow of ideas through transitional words or phrases appropriate to

text structure

f. Support judgments with substantial evidence and purposeful elaboration

g. Revise writing using feedback to maximize effect on audience and to calibrate purpose

Works Cited:
Colorado Department of Education. Office of Standards and Instructional Support.
http://www.cde.state.co.us/CoReadingWriting/StateStandards.asp. Revised Dec. 2010.

Process of the Product:

Students will understand and use the STRAPS (Structure, Type, Role, Audience,
Purpose, and Signature) acronym to help direct writing. They will then enter into
several different opportunities starting with Ovids quote dripping hollows rock.
Primarily we will use the 3-6-3 time component of planning, writing, revising to keep
things moving (Sometimes adjusted to a 2-6-2 model). After writing, students will
use the discussion guidelines to discuss their writing and build trust within their
writing communities. In the subsequent classes, new prompts and activities will
push students to explore themselves. The groups will also work together and create
a piece of writing collaboratively. Writings will cover quotes, photos, reflections (I
am and environment/object), dialogue, traits, music, group photos, combination
actions, and poetry culminating in students selecting three pieces and preparing
them for publication with any artwork or graphics as well. Then students will share
with their group, other groups, and submit an evaluation and rationale for their
selected submissions.
Notes:
Students should enjoy this unit, cast away their fears and apprehensions while they
work together, and learn more about themselves as writers. I will be completing
several of the writings and sharing my work with students.

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Due Dates:
After week 1, students will submit a one piece for a grade. The completed portfolio
and reflective assessment and group evaluation will be submitted at the end of the
unit on an assigned date (minimum of one week notice).
Assessments:
Students will submit three pieces (from the 12) in a polished, finished, typed form. I
will provide several ideas and strategies for potential revision including rethinking
piece from 2-6-2 perspective (i.e. emphasis on diction and connotative feelings
evoked by decisions and obtain peer feedback from writing group) and employing
Cindy Urbanskis Revision Strategies/Ideas. For each submission, an explanation
of why the piece was selected, why it is memorable, and how it reflects chances
taken and techniques used will be included. Students should reference standards
and explain how they are meeting those requirements in prose form. Additionally,
students will respond to the questions about themselves, various prompts, group
cohesion and duties, and the self-reflection questions. This will also be used to
assess meeting the standards specifically Standard 1 a-g (group dynamics), 2 d
(Style), and 3 d, 3f (Ideas). The self-reflection and defense of choices will enable the
students to discuss their three selected pieces in grand detail and basically examine
the choices they made in their writings and elaborate on the effect of these choices.
Each question will be answered directly after the posed prompt, but reflections on
each piece can take a more conversational tone as choices are defended.
Two rubrics will aid in clarification. The first will highlight the three writing pieces
selected and submitted by the students. The second will cover the self-reflective
piece where students submit answers to the questions about their writing and the
process.

The rubrics below are aligned with the cited Colorado Standards outlined above.

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WRITING PIECES (Collectively

Scored)

2a

Use a range of elaboration techniques

(such as questioning, comparing,
connecting, interpreting, analyzing, or
describing) to establish and express
point of view and theme
Comm:

2b

Create a clear and coherent, logically

consistent structure appropriate to the
chosen literary genre (biographical
account, short story, personal narrative,
narrative poem or song, parody of
particular narrative style, play script)
Comm:

2c

Manipulate elements of style, imagery,

tone, and point of view to appeal to the
senses and emotions of the reader
Comm:

Exceed
4points

Meet
3 points

Somewhat
meets

Does not
meet

2 points

0 points

Carlstrom 7

1
a-g

Participate in a presentation of your

piece. You should utilize proper
discussion techniques and phrasing with
group.
Comm:

3e

Control and enhance the flow of ideas

through transitional words or phrases
appropriate to text structure.
Comm:

3g

Develop and strengthen writing as

needed by planning, revising, editing,
rewriting, or trying a new approach,
focusing on addressing what is most
significant for a specific purpose and
audience.
Comm:

3g

Work in your peer review groups to

plan, revise, edit, rewrite, and polish
pieces throughout the unit.
Comm:

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WRITING REFLECTIONS

Exceed
s (4
points)

Engage and orient the reader by

establishing purpose and voice.
Writing reflects conscious decisions
about style and technique that
achieve purpose with audience.

1
ce

Implement an effective group effort

that achieves a goal, displays roles and
responsibilities of group including
participation and leadership while
working collaboratively.

1f

Selfevaluate roles in the preparation

and completion of the group goal

1g

Critique and offer suggestions for

improving presentations given by own
group and other groups

Additional Comments:

Table of Contents
SUPPLEMENTAL HANDOUTS Appendix
DIRECTIONS

Meets
(3
points)

Somewhat
meets

Does not
meet

(2 points)

(0 points)

Carlstrom 9
Document A: List of Writings
Document B: STRAPS
Document C: Introducing your Writing
Document D: Connecting Comments
Document E: CW Requirements and Final Submission
Documents F-N Photo Samples for prompts (SEE additional link)
Student Submissions:
Heidi pgs 23-24
Ilari pgs 25-26
Amanda pgs. 27-29
Feedback from Phase 2 (leaving in)
Document O: Revision Strategies/Ideas
Critical Reflection

DIRECTIONS for 683 Class and what another teacher could

use to explain concepts:
I am attaching several documents. Initially start with the one that says
STRAPS. This will be the template for planning and then writing for the
various prompts. Two other papers have keys for starting the discussion as

Carlstrom 10

the writer and responding to your peers' writing. A couple of rules: everyone
shares and most importantly "No apologies!"
The main point here is to dabble with experimentation in your writing and let
the prompts take you away. We will be using the 2-6-2 model which means 2
minutes to plan and craft (STRAPS), 6 minutes to write, and 2 minutes to look
back over what you wrote (Occasionally this will be amended to a 3-6-3 at
teachers direction). Realize that these are not finished, polished pieces but
just something to start the conversation. Since this is a group discussion
about writings, could you set up a time to share twice? Try sharing after the
first writing prompt has been completed. Maybe a video chat so you all can
hear each other. When this part occurs, try to use the keys for discussion. For
example, if I was going first I would start my discussion using some of the
language on the writer's side (pg1), then the others could continue the
discussion using "Responding to writing" pg 2. REMEMBER: No apologies.
Then I will give you a couple of other prompts from which to choose. Please
complete at least one music piece (ALBANNACH), and one other piece. Set
up a share time once more. Finally complete the feedback questionnaire and
submit one piece as a final polished (so you can leave it as is from the 2-6-2
format or tweak it) as a reflection of your writing prowess.
The hardest part will be finding a bit of time to talk with each other which
normally would just happen in class. The final paper has a list of assignments
which I will explain off to the side of the prompts. Please try to complete a
total of three but stay within the 2-6-2 format. If you are writing and
dominating in the 6 minutes, keep going a bit if you want into the final 2
minutes. I know your time is valuable, and I seriously appreciate your
participation.
DIFFERENCES for a FACE-to-FACE classroom.
I would still explain as stated above about the 2-6-2 format and STRAPS
protocol. Then I would explain the Workshop Skills Handouts (Doc C and D).
Students would receive prompts with the first on being Dripping Hollows
Rock. Confusion and uncertainty will ensue, but after they create a piece (26-2), they will share within their group. From the same shared prompt and
uncertainty in dealing with the unique writing system, discussion and group
cohesion will form. As we continue to work through prompts and return to
groups to share (even all members writing on the same image (See WW II
black and white photo later in appendix), appreciation for each writers
perspective will occur. Experimentation with varied requirements such as
dialogue between two characters (See the sea gull picture in the appendix)

Carlstrom 11

will push the established boundaries of the writers. Submission of Doc E

requirements concludes unit.
DOCUMENT A
LIST of Writings
1. Dripping hollows rock: Use these three words and just write whatever
comes to mind. Use STRAPS planning first.
2. Personification: Select a trait you possess and personify it. EX: SHY. How
does shy dress? Walk? Talk?
3. Current Event: Role focus: Relate a CE from a different perspective. EX:
New Orleans after Katrina hit. Speak as the city.
4. Individual Photo: I pass out landscapes or animals and write as animal or
something in photo. (Doc K5. Group Photo: All group members get the same picture
6. I statements: Present, Past, and Future
7. Identity write: Compare Finding Forrester movie and Jamals struggles as a
writer.
8. Dream Keeper: Poem that requires you to create one stanza and then
explain choices you made (Langston Hughes).
9. Environment/ Object: Select a room, place, or object and use it to talk to
you sometime in the future. EX: what would my childhood teddy bear say if I
discover it in the closet?
10.
A. Music #1 (Albannach) No 2-6-2. Just listen and when inspiration
strikes you,
begin writing. May replay if desired.
Albannach: https://soundcloud.com/albannach/eye-of-the-storm-07
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PHdeIUZ26o8
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EIdQlhKcPdI

B. Music #2 (Parker)
Charlie Parker:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ryNtmkfeJk4
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KYQCwoas3rk

C. Music #3 (Cramer)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3fRkoa9Ek5c

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11.

Free or Photo Opp: Find a picture, play music if you desire and go.

12.
Darkness Crumbles Away: First line poem: Everyones first line is the
same.

Document B

STRAPS
Use the following acronym to start planning your writing. Different time schemes
might be used. For example 2-6-2 would mean 2 minutes of plan, 6 of writing, and 2
minutes of revision/look over. These pieces will not be the final, polished form but
will give you somewhere to start.

Structure:

Format (poem, letter, free write, paragraph)

Thesis:

Objective (similar to purpose below) but what does writing accomplish in

a sentence?

Role:

Really experiment with this. Change your perspective. Be a plant, or a rock,

or a completely different element (If talking about Macbeth: be blood)

Audience:
Purpose:

For whom is piece intended?

To entertain, persuade, inform, etc.

Signature:

Cognizant choices you made to show and determine your voice.

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Carlstrom 14

Document E
Creative Writing Requirements and Final Submission
Written/typed responses: Pieces can be edited in any way (See
Revision Ideas) from first attempt (Document O).

Chose 3 pieces to turn submit

Answer all bullets per entry in a prose response

Why it was each piece meaningful to you?

What was your favorite part of selected piece?
What specific choices did you make (i.e. audience, techniques, etc)
What revisions and justifications did you make from original?

Then Answer the following questions for each individual

question

1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.

Evaluate your feeling about this unit before and after.

Which was easiest piece for you? Why?
Which was most difficult for you? Why?
What did you learn about your group members?
What did you learn about yourself as a writer?
Provide your feedback about the musical selections (which one preferred,
thoughts on incorporating music, etc).
7. Any feedback for the group format/ sharing?
8. What recommendations do you have for this unit and Mr. Carlstrom?

Carlstrom 15

Heidis Response
Written/typed responses
Chose 3 to turn in
Why it was meaningful to you? I loved having the opportunity to write
creatively in a variety of ways. Most of mine seems more like free verse
poetry as opposed to prose. I worried more about my ideas and images and
less about grammar, structure, and syntax.
What was your favorite part of selected piece? I like writing about the music
because the Celtic sound reminded me of my favorite things--Gypsy horses,
which come from Ireland and England. I was able to connect the music
instantly to the images of the horses running in an emerald green Irish
meadow.

1. Evaluate your feeling about this unit before and after. I love to write
creatively and never take the time to do it. I like the variety of choices and
those choices that got me started with a line or phrase.
2. Which was easiest piece for you? Why? The musical piece was easiest (see
dot above).
3. Which was most difficult for you? Why? I think the most difficult was the
personification of a trait, but once I got started, I really enjoyed it. It was
interesting that in personifying kindness (a trait best demonstrated by
actions) I was describing genuine examples of kindness.
4. What did you learn about your group members? I talked to Ilari and Amanda
on the phone, but we had some difficulty knowing what to do since we had
done different pieces. We shared them on a Google doc, but there was a
problem with commenting on the pieces on my end since my GWU account is
not linked as a Google email. I sent emails to both of them, but they havent
had a chance to resend it to another address.
5. What did you learn about yourself as a writer? I need to take more time to
write creatively because it is a good stress relief. I tend to write images in
fragments, as I would imagine them running across a screen.
6. Provide your feedback about the musical selections (which one preferred,
thoughts on incorporating music, etc). I like the choices, maybe another
traditional classical piece would be great too.
7. Any feedback for the group format/ sharing? This is harder to do when not
face to face. Maybe if we had gotten together once to organize, set due
dates, then met a couple of time in a video chat or something we may have
had better success with the meeting part. I think if you had appointed a
leader to organize us that would have been better. Ilari took the initiative
later in the process, but by then, our time was short.
8. What recommendations do you have for this unit? I think this would work
beautifully in a class that met face to face daily. The collaboration part is
the only thing I would have changed for our situation in here.

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HEIDI
Dripping Hollows Rock
Water sliding down -Dripping tiny drops of patience -Taking time to soften stone
Not the harshness of ice -But a lovers sweet caress
Melting rock into channels of nothingness.
Kind
Kind is a warm hug, the trait that everyone want to invite over for dinner and who insists on
bringing a contribution to the meal. Kind uses good manners, never gossips, and laughs with
someone but never at her; Kind brings a casserole after someone loses a loved one and doesnt
expect to get the dish back. Kind never dominates a conversation or gives her two cents on a
subject when it isnt asked for. Kind never lets you cry alone and can act silly but never
inappropriate. Kind is everyones friend. Kind never worries about wearing brand names and
never cares if anyone else does either. Kind has a quiet courage and is self-assured but not
self-obsessed.
Eye of the Storm--first link on Albannach
Green flowing valleys of verdant spring a morning fog disperses into a gentle mist. A herd of
Gypsy horses running free break the silence of the morning, the thunder of syncopated hooves
pounding a green carpet, feathered legs float like meadow fairies skimming the tips of the grass
with light fingers. Muscles straining, breath melts into misty fog of morning. Movements of
precision--turning--happy to be free. A painted stallion stops.
Proud and strong he
stands--head tall, chest heaving with exhaustion and joy--he tosses his mane and his mares
follow him. Nickering to foals on long, strong, slender legs.
If you have never seen a gypsy horse run in a field before, here is a link--hopefully it can give a
further visual to my #3. Without a doubt the most lovely, kind and gentle horses in the world.
The music is a little loud, so you might want to turn down your speakers.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L33w1YFaueY

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Ilari Pass
Creative Writing
Carlstrom
March 30, 2016
Creative Writing Evaluation
1. At first, and to be honest, my thoughts about this unit before was a little unnerving
only because I didnt know what to expect, or what I was getting myself into. But
after completing this, I said to myself, Hey, I got this!
2. Are far as which piece was the easiest, it is fair to say that none of the pieces were
easy for me because, being honest, I had to think about what I was going to write
instead of just diving right init was a processno Southern Biscuiting.
3. It is fair to say that my answer for question 2 will be applied for this question.
4. I think I learned quite a bit from my group members. One thing is for certain and
that is the one important element that we have in common is that we are all writers.
5. The whole experience of this assignment has been fascinating. As a writer, I am
learning how to challenge myself more and more each time I write while gaining
confidence and experience at the same time.
6. I regret that I did not do any musical selections.

Carlstrom 18

7. I enjoyed collaborating with my group, and I enjoyed listening to different

opinions and ideas on how to become better writers and we can contribute during this
writing process.
8. To be honest, I cant think of any suggestions at the moment but this exercise is a
wonderful way to empower students to challenge themselves on how and what to
write about while guiding students in becoming better writers.

Ilari Pass

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Creative Writing
Carlstrom
March 30, 2016
Story #1: Discombobulated
I feel discombobulated like a small child inside a tire tube, rolling down a steep hill.
And after my rolling adventure abruptly ended, my seasoned body stumbled upon a
peaceful valleyflowers everywhere and a river with a waterfall. I never want to
leave this place; I no longer want to feel discombobulated. I want the dripping water
to replenish me, to ease my worries of all the crazy nonsense that is happening in the
worlda world that is discombobulated.
Story #2
Darkness crumbles awayevery time, and
lightness shines on my faceevery time.
The sun shows off by shining my celestial season of age.
Freckles and footprints of crows encircle my eyes.
No fountain of youth, Im afraidnot for me.
Im growing oldcertainly for me.
Lightness crumbles awaywhen I die.
Darkness crumbles awaylike me.

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AMANDA
Story #1
Its been two days since I fell down this cavern and in the long seconds of my fall I felt a brief
exhilaration, like an adventure. Or rather, I was at least meeting death here, young and happy,
not old and alone. But as Ive lain here, watching the dripping water that rolls down and down,
one after another, never ending, onto the rocks below my broken body, the body they broke, I
question how I could have ever been so arrogant to think that dying young made me exempt
from the inexorable, monotonous pattern of death. The water continues to drip; it makes a
hollow sound when it hits. And still I lay here, as if I wasnt even here.
Story #2
Darkness crumbles away
I wake up and Im excited again.
It seems like another lifetime ago,
Before I recognized that happiness is a finite resource
How did I get this way?
Is it my fault? Should I have tried harder?

The more I think, the less I feel.

But I want to feel,
Feel the excitement and the sadness
Not just this endless stream of apathy

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Darkness has returned

The more I think, the less I feel
Story #3
Dear Dad,
I dont remember to roads here being so peaceful before today. The leaves are changing colors
again, making that canopy over the road. I used to think that was magic. Maybe Ive just been
in Chicago too long. I know thats what you would say. I know you wish I was home too. But
maybe there really is something to the fact that I cant call anything but NC home, cant call
anything else barbeque, even after all these years, even as Im listening house music right now.
(Thats like jazz, Dad) If you heard it, I know youd make that ridiculous face you used to make
whenever we listened to the radio together. Still, I havent stopped putting ketchup on my
hotdogs, so maybe Chicagos happy that I cant call it home, not really. The bus is passing the
turn now, so Ill stop for now. Just know, whenever I see the fall leaves and pine trees, I think of
you and every ride we took and every off-key song you ever sang, and I smile.
With All My Love,
Amanda

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Why it was meaningful to you?

These pieces were meaningful because they came from a place of genuine
emotion, albeit rather depressing emotions. So I guess they meaningful because they
revealed something real, which is what an assignment like this one should ideally do,
in my opinion.
What was your favorite part of selected piece?
My favorite part of my favorite piece, which was the letter to my Dad, was the
tone of the piece. I thought it struck a balance between sad and happy, nostalgic
and forward-thinking that I was going for. I also felt like I achieved the right
conversational tone in the letter, which is something else that I really wanted to
do.

9. Evaluate your feeling about this unit before and after.

Honestly, I feel the same way now as I did before. Going in, I hoped to write
something genuine, that was more than an assignment, and I feel like I
accomplished that.
10. Which was easiest piece for you? Why?
The music inspired piece, which was the letter, was the easiest piece. I think the
reason for that is in the old adage, Write what you know, and because that piece
felt more real than the others, it flowed much easier for me.

Carlstrom 23

11. Which was most difficult for you? Why?

The piece we all were instructed to do, using dripping, hollow, and rocks
was the hardest, which was surprising given that I thought the poem would have
given me more trouble. In the end, I think having to fit those words into the short
(very short) story made it more difficult than it would have been otherwise.
However, being forced to do more/better outlining to accommodate that was a
challenge that I feel I benefitted from.
12. What did you learn about your group members?
13. What did you learn about yourself as a writer?
I learned that writing is not as easy as I thought it would be, and that it really is
like a muscle, particularly for me, which is why I think my third piece (the letter)
was my best work and what Im proudest of. For the record, I wrote all these
pieces at the same time, and I think that resulted in a stronger writing muscle and
a better product.
14. Provide your feedback about the musical selections (which one preferred, thoughts on
incorporating music, etc).
I chose the second music selection, by Parker. I thought incorporating the music
was difficult to do at first, mainly because I wanted it to feel really organic.
Ultimately though, it helped me get into the right headspace and create the right
atmosphere, so I think the how was the most important lesson here.

Carlstrom 24

15. Any feedback for the group format/ sharing?

I think the guidelines for the group sharing need to be clearer and more conducive
to the actual process of peer review. That is, having to come up with questions
about your own writing for your peers first hampers them from finding things
about your writing that you wouldnt have noticed, which is why that is ultimately
the process Ilari, Heidi, and I settled on.
16. What recommendations do you have for this unit?
Outside of my comments on the peer review process, I dont have much feedback,
since I think any other obstacles I faced were really the result of trying to translate
something that was clearly for the traditional classroom into an online format.
Like the 2-6-2 STRAPS method, which worked (to great effect, in my opinion) in
this format but would have been smoother and perhaps even more effective in a
traditional setting. Id also suggest not separating the first piece from the second
and third, because writing is like a muscle and it gets stronger the more you work
it (see the answer to question #5).

Carlstrom 25

Assessment/Feedback WAD #2 (Leaving in for my reflection)

I provided comments on the google documents I received and I took screen shots of
my feedback, but I am having difficulty uploading them.
My students would get a grade from the respective rubrics and have it shared with
them; however, I did not know how to get the rubrics to my students. I could take
pictures and send them emails of their completed products.
I really gained a great deal from reading their pieces, and their insights through the
eight questions taught them and me a tremendous amount.

My class (Heidi, Amanda, and Ilari) had difficulty getting together and visiting about
their writings, so my feedback in that regard is a bit lacking. Moreover, since I
allowed students to choose their selection, they all picked some different ones, so
the ability to converse about the same stimuli was negated hindering the
conversation. Ultimately, I should have specified that I wanted the same pieces
completed so the writing community could build. I do think this could be easily
rectified in the classroom, but on-line it would definitely need to be more controlled
and delegated.
Positives included some terrific heartfelt writing that each writer produced.
Wonderful use of imagery and voice were conveyed and the writers across the
board displayed their ability to clearly communicate and they all got in touch with
their emotions and writing.

Help needed:
How to show the feedback properly. Much of this writing would not be critiqued
harshly on the rubric. In fact, all scored a 3 or 4 unless I was unable to assess it.
Part of that problem results from the lack of the group to truly meet and share their
writings.
Overall, Im happy with the clarity of the process, and from my students feedback,
they seemed to glean some positives about their writing and demonstrate
proficiency with their craft.

Carlstrom 26

DOC O
Revision Strategies/ Ideas
1. Write two new introductions
2. Write two new conclusions
3. Switch the point of view (from first to third person or from third to first person)
4. Add dialogue where you just have description of an event
5. Rewrite your conclusion as the introduction and then write a new conclusion
6. Write a dialogue with a friend describing your paper, telling why you thought it was
important, and what you thought was important.
7. Create a stream of consciousness about what is going on beneath the surface of the
action or arguments or explanations
8. Describe a place alluded to in the paper using all 5 of your senses.
9. Create an opening that starts in the midst of the action
10. Describe a person mentioned in the paper
11. Describe what happens after the paper ends
12.

Describe what happened before the events of the paper

13.

Describe a personal experience related to an argument in the paper

14.

Argue from your opponents point of view

15.

Create a dialogue representing two or more points of view

16.

Write an argument as a narrative

17.

Write an analysis as a letter to a friend

18. Write a formal argument as a stream of consciousness

19. Write to a different audience Miss Piggy for instance
20. Write a formal argument as a poem in two voices
21. Put your draft aside and write a quick outline of the points you want to make.
22. Color Coding
a.
b.
c.
d.

Complete #21 from the list

Color Code EACH point
Read paper and color code each sentence based on the point it best supports
Organize your paper by color.

Carlstrom 27
Revision Ideas courtesy of Cindy Urbanski
Below is a picture of the old rubric for the beginning of Amandas
evaluation. These were previously sent to Dr. Hartman, but since the
rubrics have changed and I revamped some of my feedback
expectations of students, the results would be different. Therefore, I
will just expound upon the changes in my final reflections segment.

Carlstrom 28

A picture of one of Amandas writings with written feedback that would

correspond to the above rubric.

Carlstrom 29
A picture of some of the feedback given to Heidi via google docs.

A picture of Ilaris work with my comments shared through a google doc.