Reflection: I like the examples and statistics that the authors/researchers use to support their

points. I am not sure if I am supporting my inquiry question well enough. Should I take some of
the statics out or should I elaborate more on what I believe and how the statistics tie in with my
beliefs and opinions. Also I would like to know if my thesis flows and if I need to take out any
information. I am writing to any individual that can understand divorce.
I have added more of what I think as well as what they say. I think it flows a lot better than
before. Im not sure what else I could add to make the thesis lengthier. Or what else should I add
to my thesis to make it better? Hopefully I tied in all the sources and made them flow together
and made them connect.
Thesis
She/he cheated on me, I fell out of love with him/her, lack of commitment, and many
more reasons. For divorce there can be many reasons as to why people get a divorce or encounter
marital dissolution. Some common reasons or causations of divorce are lack of commitment,
cultural barriers, lack of individual identity, unmet expectations, different priorities and interests,
not sharing a shared vision of success, adultery, falling out of love, abuse, and marrying to
young. Among the sources that I have found, they all connect on the perspective and the specific
situation that the couple is in. For example in the source, The Journal of Marriage and Family
publication, cohabitation is one of the suggested ways for avoiding marriage dissolution.
Cohabitation is living with your significant other prior to marriage. However in the source
webpage Psych Central, the article Do Your Personality Traits Affect Your Relationship, Longterm married couples with similar traits also report less marital satisfaction than those with
opposing traits. Sometimes when the world of demands steps out, partners either expect their

partner to fill in or predict boredom and confinement with one person. These two sources show
that it can be a variety of reasons as to why marriage may not survive; it all depends on the
individuals involved in a particular situation.
It is proven that 73% of marriages end because of lack of commitment. That being said
many times the individuals in the relationship take one another for granted, leading to lack of
commitment. Commitment is the part in the relationship that provides security and safety.
Commitment allows a couple to express feelings, thoughts, and desires openly. It helps a couple
get through the day-to-day challenges knowing that their partner will be there for them through
those challenges. Often times the two individuals forget the idea of their spouse being the love of
their life and their effort and actions began to fade away. The lack of special attention and love
begins to create a void, which leads to the feeling of lack of commitment.
In agreement with writers Lakeesha N. Woods and Robert E Emery, publication of
Divorce and Remarriage, Most divorce research is based on the reports of divorced individuals;
a dyadic perspective is needed to capture the entire range of reasons for divorce (183). The
researchers argued that partners in close relationship often disagree about their relationship. A
former husband and wife can have two completely different perspectives on their former
relationship. This can lead to the circumstance of not sharing a shared vision of success. You may
have heard the saying Everything changed once we got married, many times a couple may
have discussed one thing but when the situation comes something different occurs.
For example, when a couple has a baby they may have agreed on what is going to happen
when the baby gets here such as a schedule of taking care of the baby; however once the baby
was born the plans went out the window. This can be very stressful for a relationship because it

didnt go as planned. In a relationship there must be a common ground and a complete

understanding of each others expectation.
This leads to another common reason of divorce, unmet expectations. As mentioned
earlier Dr. Suzanne B. Phillips stated on webpage Psych Central, Long-term married
couples with similar traits also report less marital satisfaction as those with opposing traits.
Sometimes when the world of demands steps out, partners either expect their partner to fill in or
predict boredom and confinement with one person. The lack of satisfaction often reflects an
inability to see self, partner, and life a little differently. This is where the novel experience, the
risk, and the belief in re-definitions of your relationship can be life-enhancing. In agreement
with Dr.Phillips, individuals in the marriage can develop new interest and new expectations that
they want to share with their spouse; however if their spouse does not want to experience and
accommodate their spouses wishes than confrontation will occur.
Culture can also affect a marriage, according to Marriage and Divorce the author E I
Pakhomova discusses how the meaning and significance of family has changed in the Russian
culture. Pakhomova says that divorce rates are going up in Russia. According to data of the State
Committee for Statistics, 1.319 million people got married in 1970 while 397,000 were divorced;
in 2002, 1.02 million got married and 854,000 were divorced. In 2005 the respective figures
were 1.066 million and 605,000. Based on the statistics provided by the State Committee for
Statistics, it greatly supports the cultural reasoning of divorce.
In support to what the author is saying, if a couple does not take marriage seriously and
feel as though marriage has no significance how will the marriage last. In todays society,
marriage is taken for granted because many couples do not have the proper foundation to make a

marriage and family stay together. Different age groups and ages can view marriage in a different
light. Also there can be a cultural barrier that could lead to a divorce; such as a couple being
interracial. With any culture or nationality each individual will bring their own upbringing,
beliefs, rules, and culture to the relationship. This isnt a bad thing; its just a matter of learning
how to mush all those beliefs and rules together to be on one accord. Some couples may struggle
with that depending on how controlling each spouse may be.
The source Timing of Divorce : Predicting When a Couple Will Divorce
Over a 14-Year Period by authors John Mordechai Gottman and Robert Wayne Levenson was a
persuasive source because they performed a study and made predictions to see if what they
predicted would be carried out or true. The two researchers suggest that the first seven years of
marriage are critical and also the period during which the couples child reaches the age of
fourteen. These two periods seem to be a very low point for marriages. The couples in this study
were contacted periodically during the past 14 years, and 27.8% of the sample had divorced as of
1996. Of the couples who had divorced since 1987, the average length of marriage was 16.4
years (average of husbands and wifes report). They also reported that the most common
reasons for divorcing are not strong negative affect and constant arguments; but the major
reasons for divorce was that nearly 80% of all men and women, were gradually growing apart
and losing a sense of closeness and not feeling loved and appreciated.
This relates to another common reason of causation of divorce, different priorities and
interest. Having shared interest and explorations are essential for a marriage because if not a
couple will grow further and further apart. In reaffirmation with the author, the couple has to
agree on rather they want children or rather they want to continue to stay married. Anyone that
can understand divorce knows that marriage will have milestones.

Having a lack of individual identity is another common reason that can lead to
divorce. Having a voice of your own is so important in a relationship because you need to
express how you feel to your spouse. Even if your spouse may know you like the back of their
hand, they are not a mind reader. Also not having a sense of your own voice can lead to your
spouse being controlling. In marriages, it is very easy to lose your sense of identity because you
get so busy and caught up in investing time to make the relationship work. Instead of looking to
oneself to make a decision because an individual may feel incapable to make a decision on
something without consulting with their spouse. Of course it is important to consult with your
spouse on decision, however I believe that an individual can make a decision that they feel is
right for their family if it is necessary to make.
Also according to the researcher Anna Sutherland of publication Modern
Marriage: Individualistic or Interdependent suggested that It is commonly remarked that
society in general and marriage in particular are growing more individualistic. Were less likely
to join organizations, to have several close friends we can trust, to conceive of marriage as a
lifelong partnership. Were growing more isolated (it is said), and we see even marriage, which
should be an intimate and interdependent relationship, as only a vehicle for personal fulfillment.
Far from sharing their daily lives, moreover, spouses are now alone together. Although this
may be true for todays society I do not agree with this being helpful for marriages. I believe that
this will simply make a couple feel separated. If couples want to have everything separate then
what is the point of being married.
Maybe feeling separated can lead to an individual wanting somebody else. Why do
people cheat you may ask? Some may feel that the marriage has potential but in actuality, the
expectations are unrealistic. According to the Dr. Othniel Seiden, publisher of Why Adultery?

Why do people cheat on their partners?, Often infidelity is fueled by unfulfilled expectations.
Romance novels, movies, TV shows, may give couples a false sense of what marriage is all
about. They go into their relationship blinded by love and the joys of courtship, not realizing that
after the honeymoon is over relationships require lots of work to maintain success. Each partner
has his or her own ideas of an ideal relationship with their own expectations and needs. Failure to
clarify what each partner expects brings disappointment often leading to resentment. These two
feelings can push someone to reach out to another person for fulfillment of their expectations and
needs. In agreement to Dr. Seiden the couples have to discuss expectations in order for the
marriage to work. If there is no discussion about expectations than the marriage will not work.
Having someone cheat on you can be very hurtful and feel like a stab in the back. You
may be thinking well maybe they fell out of love with one another or maybe the marriage got
boring. Why might someone fall out of love with the love of their life? Perhaps one of the
individuals in the marriage gained too much weight, making their spouse less attractive to them.
Or maybe we are meant to fall in and out of love, according to MindBodyGreen website, The #1
reason why people fall out of love is because they're human. Yes. We are designed to fall out of
love. And then, if the relationship is healthy and both people understand what real love is about,
we fall back in love, deeper than before. And then we fall out of love and back in love. You get
the picture. Falling in and out love is as cyclical as the tides of the ocean (Paul,1). Someone in
the relationship just gives on the marriage because they feel as though they cant fall back in love
with their spouse. If majority of couples were aware of the falling out of love phase than they
would know how to handle that situation once it occurs. This situation can lead to a divorce or
marital dissolution.

Abuse or domestic violence is a very scary thing. This is another common reason people
get divorce because they are afraid of their spouse. Domestic violence is a pattern of behavior
used to establish power and authority over another person through fear and intimidation. Often
times the spouse getting abused wants to protect their children but at the same time keep their
family together. The spouse thats getting abuse may be afraid to get help or to reach out because
they are afraid of what their abusive spouse might do next. According to the organization Safe
Horizon publication, men are victims of nearly 3 million physical assaults in the USA today.
Women are not the only ones that can be getting abused by their spouse, like shown on
television. Although it seems to happen to women more often, more than 4 million women
experience physical assault and rape by their partner.
Can marrying too young increase your risk of getting a divorce? Many researchers say
that couples who marry at a young age have a higher risk of getting a divorce. Its no mystery
why people who marry as teens face a high risk of divorce. Just recall your high school boyfriend
or girlfriend. Along with the exhilaration of first love often came jealousy, insecurity, pressure
from parents or friends, and tearful doubts about the future. Now imagine getting married under
the same conditions. Scholars have long known that youthful marriage is a strong predictor of
divorce. For instance, someone who marries at 25 is over 50 percent less likely to get divorced
than is someone who weds at age 20. Most youthful couples simply do not have the maturity,
coping skills, and social support it takes to make marriage work. In the face of routine marital
problems, teens and young twenty-somethings lack the wherewithal necessary for happy
resolutions(Wolfinger 1). Contending to what the author said, I think that a couple can still
make a marriage work even if they are married at a young age. Although statistics may show an
average or an amount of people, there is still the other amount of people who didnt fall in that

statistical value. Therefore, statistically it is proven but in reality it is still up to the couple.

Comparing these sources has helped me understand divorce from a statistical point of
view because many of the sources provided statics and performed a study. Performing studies is
a way to provide strong evidence of the point that is being conveyed. Each source provides
reasoning for the ongoing conversation, the causations of divorce because each source shows
evidence and examples from a variety of individuals and couples. Knowing what can lead to a
divorce and what raises divorce rates are very important because in our society, families
encounter divorces all the time no matter what their cultural backgrounds maybe.
Some people may not know as much knowledge on the reasons of divorce, however
reading other writers and other peoples views and perspectives can help anyone understand a
particular topic. In my findings I have realized that divorce can be avoided depending on the
situation and the individuals. A lot of the causes and reasons of divorce can be worked out or
solved and I believe that it is up to the couple rather or not they are going to work it out. I would
like to learn more about what pushes a couple or an individual into to getting a divorce. Of
course we know some of the reasoning but what leads someone to their breaking point.

Work Cited
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and Remarriage: United States, 1982. Hyattsville, Md.: U.S. Dept. of Health and Human
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"Domestic Violence: Statistics & Facts." Safe Horizon. Safe Horizon, 2016. Web. 10 Apr. 2016.
Gottman, John M, and Robert W. Levenson. "The Timing of Divorce: Predicting When a Couple
Will Divorce Over a 14-Year Period." Journal of Marriage and Family. 62.3 (2000): 737745. Print.
MANNING, WENDY D, and JESSICA A. COHEN. "Premarital Cohabitation and Marital
Dissolution: an Examination of Recent Marriages." Journal of Marriage and Family. 74.2
(2012): 377-387. Print.
PAKHOMOVA, E.I. "Marriage And Divorce: What Has Changed In The Perceptions Of
Russians?." Russian Social Science Review 51.3 (2010): 4-15.Academic Search
Complete. Web. 16 Mar. 2016.
Paul, Sheryl. "The #1 Reason Why People Fall Out of Love."Mindbodygreen. MindBodyGreen,
02 Sept. 2014. Web. 10 Apr. 2016.
Phillips, Suzzane B. "Do Your Personality Traits Affect Your Relationship?"Healing Together for
Couples. Psych Central, 15 Mar. 2010. Web. 29 Mar. 2016.

Ponzetti, James J, Anisa Zvonkovic, Rodney M. Cate, and Ted L. Huston. "Reasons for
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Seiden, Othneil. "Common Causes of Infidelity." Why Adultery? Why Do People Cheat on Their
Partners? Examiner.com, 15 Dec. 2012. Web. 10 Apr. 2016.
Sutherland, Anna. "Modern Marriage: Individualistic or Interdependent."Family Studies. Family
Studies, 26 June 2014. Web. 10 Apr. 2016.
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