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Robert Presswood
Professor Scaife
RHET 1311, 11:00AM
25 April 2016
Effects of Social Media
Bob, we need some help. These are the words that were uttered to me by my
close friend Chris on the phone. We knew each others likes and dislikes. We knew
each others names, kids names, favorite foods, and what kind of music the other
listened to. We hung out with one another over 20 hours each week. We were best
friends. But we had never seen each other face to face.
Bob, we need some help, Chris said to me. It was a snowy day near Chicago,
Illinois.
Whats going on? I asked.
My wife and I are sitting in a police station about two hours from home. We
wrecked our car into a snowbank, and all our family is out of town.
How far are you? I asked.
About four hours from your house, came the reply.
Ok, hang tight. Text me the address of the police station, and Ill come get you
guys.
I had never met Chris face to face. But I had known him for about a year online,
spent time with him in game, and had emailed him about things. And when the time
came I called off work and drove four hours from home, picked his wife and him up, and
drove them two hours to their house. I then spent the night with his wife and him, and

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then drove the six hours back home the next day. That was roughly nine years ago, and
since that time weve only met face to face about three times. And were still good
friends to this day.
There is a question being asked by many today. Is digital communication
damaging how youth relate to each other and themselves?
While digital communication is the prevalent form of communication in our world
today, there is no inherent harm in purely digital communication. In fact, contrary to
negative claims, online technology is actually conducive to a level of intimacy not
previously possible in as large a group as before.
The first thing Id like to talk about is the base of friends that you are able to
achieve throughout social media. Personally, I have over 750 friends on Facebook. I
put the word friends in quotations, because I understand that all my friends on
Facebook are not really friends, but more acquaintances. My own rule for accepting a
friend invite is that the requesting person has to either met me face to face, or we have
to have at least 10 friends in common. Only then will I accept their friend request.
Even still, the claim is made that you cant really get to know someone over the
internet. However, according to Psychology Today, actual communications that allow
you to get to know a person can be made in the absence of physical cues, such as
smiling (3). While important in our interaction with other people people, physical cues
often give us a context to what they are trying to communicate. While difficult over text,
there are other blatant cues that can be given to a persons intentions, such as a smiley
or hashtags. The common mocking of HTML use known as a backslash can also get
your point across.

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For instance, if I am being facetious I will type out what I wish to say. After my
text, I will then add /sarcasm to let people know that I am through being facetious.
Lisa Tripp, an assistant professor at Florida State university says, Social
networking also contributes greatly to teens extended friendships and interests. While
the majority of teens use sites such as MySpace and Facebook to hang out with
people they already know in real life, a smaller portion uses them to find like-minded
people. (4)
Dr Tripp realizes the value of being able to connect to people in a broader base
than before. She goes on to talk about how before social media, the one child in a
school who had an interest would feel isolated when it came to that interest. But now
that child has a way of connecting to other children who all share that common interest.
Another way to look at the positive of a broader friend base, is that we choose
our closest friends from among our current friend base. A wider access to people allows
us to choose our close friends from a broader pool of people, allowing us to create
friendships that are more likely to last.
One of the objections to this is that you cant really get to know someone without
face to face interaction. And if we are keeping the discussion among only one media
such as Facebook, then that assertion would be correct. While on Facebook we cant
really get to know the people whose posts we are following. But just as in real life, we
dont choose our friends based upon a single interaction at a single location.
In real life, we choose our friends through constant communication and proximity.
You dont become a friend with someone simply because you met them in class. You

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may become acquaintances, but not friends. A real friendship would only begin by
meeting them outside of that venue to see if you have more interests in common.
Similarly, while I have hundreds of friends on Facebook, I dont try to pretend
that every one of those friends are close to me. And I dont believe that all of those
people have my best interests in mind. It is only when I meet these people in other
online venues that a true friendship is born.
For instance, my friend Chris. We met online, through a popular video game,
World of Warcraft. Ive met hundreds of people through that game, but I have not
considered the vast majority of them to be friends. But with Chris, we really hit it off. I
could tell almost immediately that we had the same interests. We began playing
together frequently, and even joined a group together so that we could see when each
other were online.
While grouping, in a very real sense we were spending real time together. We
used our microphones to voice chat with each other while playing. Eventually, he joined
a group of people that I played games through email with. After a while, we became
friends on MySpace (a predecessor to FaceBook). I interacted with Chris on many
different platforms, not just one. And I was able to see how he handled himself in
different social situations.
I was able to see how he was handling relationship problems with his wife (who,
as a side note, he met online). I was able to see him asking people for advice in raising
his wifes kids. I was able to see how he handled himself in the good days and the bad
days. Since I wasnt just relying upon one point of interaction with him, I was able to put
together a picture of what he was really like, not just his Facebook persona.

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This brings me to my next point, which is the ability to see people in all aspects of
their life, rather than just what they project while they are around you. Weve all heard
about the girl who is swept off of her feet by a guy, and then the guy eventually turns out
to be a jerk. With the help of social media, this type of thing can be avoided more than
before. While not fool-proof, social media definitely allows us to do some background
checking on people.
When I was doing some research on how much you could find out about
someone online, I took a random person on a message board that was bragging about
how little there was of him on the internet. I didnt even know his real name, only his
user name for that board. Using simple search tools such as Google, I was able to find
out his real name, find out that he had a dog and get the dogs name a breed. I was
able to tell him that I knew when he had some phone trouble with his iPhone, and that
he had run a quarter marathon in 2006. I was able to find out what other message
boards he had posted in, and was able to read them to see if he was the same person
on those boards. I was able to discover that he had an online dating profile, and I made
a temporary profile so I could browse his and discover more about him.
I knew what state he lived in, so I did a phone book search of his real name and
was able to discover his address and phone number. I found out so much about him
that it was actually scary.
The point of this is to say that the internet is a two edged sword. With so much
information out there, we have to be careful as we are told so many times. But, on the
other hand, it is very easy to check up on someone to see if they are who they are trying

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to be. And all for free. If you are willing to pay, you can get someones criminal record,
driving history, and sometimes (though through dubious means) their credit score.
So, with the advent of this new age of social media, it is possible to know more
about a person than was ever thought possible before. If a woman meets a guy in a bar
and wants to know more about him before pursuing a relationship, she has so many
tools at her disposal in order to find out if the guy is a fake, or is really as charming as
he was when she had a few drinks in her.
According to pewinternet.org, 59% of teens feel more connected to their
significant others life through the use of social media, and 44% say that they feel
emotionally closer. (2) Teens today are learning to use social media to the fullest extent
and are able to incorporate it into their lives in a way that is astonishing. It is not
uncommon for someone to meet someone new, and instead of exchanging phone
numbers they look each other up on Facebook. This is both convenient, and ultimately
safer as you can unfriend someone on facebook, but you can not ungive them your
phone number.
The last reason that I have to give concerning social media being a positive thing
in our lives is the ability of people to connect with others that they could not have before.
Admittedly, this is very closely linked to reason one, but I feel that it is different. Some of
this is because of personal reasons that I will share.
An article on huffingtonpost.ca (1) is entirely dedicated to showing how social
media gives us access to people we wouldnt have before. Some of the things cited
were that texting someone is a more efficient way to get to know them when you dont

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have time to hang out. It also talks about Twitter allowing us to reach out to companies
and attempt to get some notice that we couldnt have otherwise.
However, the thing that hits closest to home for me is that it allows people with a
social disability to connect with people who they are incapable of physically interacting
with. As a sufferer of PTSD, I can tell you how hard it is to interact with people socially. I
do not attend parties, and have to plan my restaurant experiences around busy times (I
cant stay at the restaurant if its too crowded). If a person wants to meet with me
physically, it has to be in a quiet place, often my home or theirs. And many people will
not take the time to invite someone over to their house in order to just meet with them
socially.
Social media is an outlet for me to keep in contact with people who I physically
can not meet with. Its a way for me to share in the parties and celebrations that others
are having. When my brother and his wife were having a party to announce the gender
of their unborn child, I could not attend due to my condition. However, through the use
of Skype, I was able to be there with an online presence and see in real time the
revealing.
In conclusion, while I readily admit that there are levels of online isolationism
which are detrimental to a persons growth, I believe that social media is a very good
thing which when used correctly can contribute to our society. Social media is an
inanimate object that can be used for either good or bad; the onus is on the person to
realize when theyve gone too far.

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Works Cited

(1) Koifman, Natasha. Can Social Media Actually Benefit Relationships?

huffingtonpost Huffington Post, Oct 17 2013. April 24 2016.
(2) Lennhart, Amanda et al. Social Media and Romantic Relationships
pewinternet Pew Internet and American Life Project, Oct 1 2015. April 24 2016.
(3) Rutledge, Pamela, PhD. Seven Myths About Social Media and
Relationships Psychology Today Psychology Today, May 2 2013. April 24 2016.
(4) Tripp, Lisa. Social Networking Benefits Validated Washington Times
Washington Times, Jan 28 2009. April 24 2016.