THE PAJAMA

GAME
A Musical Comedy
Based on the novel
7 1/2 Cents
by Richard Bissell

Music and Lyrics by Richard Adler and Jerry Ross

Book by George Abbott and Richard Bissell

Presented by
The University Of Chichester
3rd Year Musical Theatre Tour
March 2016

The Pajama Game

Act 2

Scene 1

THE PAJAMA GAME

ACT 2
SLEEP TITE FACTORY, CEDAR RAPIDS, IOWA 1954
SCENE 1: EAGLE HALL.
PREZ
This is just going to be a short meeting because the Boiler Makers Local
is got the hall spoke for at 8 oclock. So, them that wants to get over
to the tri-Stage Meet will have plenty of time
(Hands in pockets)
Whats going on down the plant you all know as good as I.
(Hands out of pockets)
And any members of the type I run into from time to time who say What
good is the Union, why should I pay my dues? Why they could get a mighty
good object lesson from where would they be now in this here battle of
the seven-and-a-half cents that they wouldnt get if it wasnt for the
Union (Pounds fist into hand)
what sure as hell going to get it.
(Puts hand up to stop applause)
So leave us all remember that our Union should be first and foremost in
our minds next only to our loved ones and the tiny tots and kiddies.
Now before we break up we are going to have a little entertainment and i
hope you are going to show a special courtesy tonight because a couple of
the cutting room boys has got up an act with Gladys Hotchkiss whos from
the front office. And if these good folk is good enough to come down here
and do this act for us why the least you can do is not to sneak out the
back way, like last time. The little number they worked up is something
thats right on the nose because its about getting hot. And fellow Union
members thats what were doing
(Motions banner flat)
Getting hot.

The Pajama Game

Act 2
ALL
Yeah!

I got steam heat, I got steam heat, I got steam heat

But I need your love to keep away the cold,
I got steam heat, I got steam heat, I got steam heat,
But I cant get warm with your hand to hold!
The radiators hissin, still I need your kissin
To keep me from freezin each night!
I got a hot water bottle
But nothing I gotll
Take the place of you
Holding me tight
I got steam heat, I got steam heat, I got steam heat
But I need your love to keep away the cold,
(Dance break!)
GLADYS
Yeh!
ALL
They told me to shovel more coal in the boiler,
They told me to shovel more coal in the boiler,
They told me to shovel more coal in the boiler
GLADYS
But that dont do no good!
ALL
They told me to pour some more oil in the burner,
They told me to pour some more oil in the burner,
They told me to pour some more oil in the burner,
GLADYS
But that dont do no good!

Scene 1

The Pajama Game

Act 2
ALL
Coal in the boiler
GLADYS
No good!
ALL
Oil in the burner
GLADYS
No good!
ALL
Cold, no, hot, yes
Ssss yes yes yes
Come on Union get hot
(Dance break)
GLADYS
I need your love to keep away the cold
I need your love
To keep away the
ALL
Coal in the boiler
Oil in the burner.
Fssss!

Scene 1

The Pajama Game

Act 2

Scene 2

SCENE 2: THE KITCHEN - BABES HOUSE

(PREZ has removed coat and thrown it over a chair. GROUP sitting around
table.BABE goes to icebox and brings a bottle of beer. after she is
seated, PREZ rises. MAE is drinking.)
PREZ
Listen, Mae, pay attention to the meeting and quit guzzling all this free
beer.
MAE
I aint guzzling. Im just being sociable
PREZ
Well, this aint a sociable , this is an official meeting.
BABE
Maes got to keep her strength up.
PREZ
We cant just sit around here and do nothing, we got to make plans.
Hasler aint going to give in easy.
BRENDA
We got the slow-down
PREZ
I mean other things, more like for instance, like why, a suggestion here
from Jake Fondermeyer. He says when he was working at the Ironclad
Overall Company and they was having trouble, why they spit tobacco juice
in the back hip pocket of the overalls.
MAE
(Rises)
I draw the line at chewing tobacco
PREZ
I wasnt suggesting that.
(MAE sits)

The Pajama Game

Act 2

Scene 2

BRENDA
How about if the packers put the size large bottoms with the size small
tops, and like that?
JOSEPHINE
Sure.
PREZ
Now thats what I mean. Thats constructive.
(Phone rings - BABE rises crosses to phone)
Thats clear thinking.
BABE
Hello - oh - sure. Sure I recognize your voice.
MAE
(Continuing the conversation so they wont seem to be listening)
But that wouldnt take effect soon enough.
BRENDA
Well, I suppose not.
BABE
(In phone)
Yes, I am.
PREZ
Lets be practical.
MAE
(Turns bottle upside down, it is empty. Rises)
Oh, Im going to break down and have another beer
(Crosses to icebox and gets beer)
BABE
(In phone)
No, I cant talk now. Ive been away three days.

The Pajama Game

Act 2

Scene 2

MAE
(Crosses back to table)
We got to put the screws on them right now, not later.
(Sits)
BABE
(In phone)
Look, I have several people here. It wouldnt do any good, anyhow. So
goodbye, Im sorry.
(She hangs up)
PREZ
Babe, theyve been saying
(Turns to the others abruptly)
Look, I dont want to get Babe into trouble but
BABE
Go ahead. What trouble can you get me into? Im fired already
(Sits)
MAE
Well the Union ought to do something about that, too
PREZ
If she hadnt stood right up and said she did it, we could have. But if
somebody up and admits they been bustin up the company property
(Leans into them at table)
Listen, heres a confidence just inside the committee. Some of the
buttons aint been sewed on too good. Wait until salesmen come screaming
back to Hasler.
(POP enters)
POP
Hello.
PREZ
Mr. Williams.

The Pajama Game

Act 2

Scene 2

POP
Big meeting, hey.
(To BABE)
Hiya, honey.
BABE
Hiya, Pop.
POP
Dont let me interrupt
BABE
How was your trip?
POP
Dirty - got another hot box. On the siding for twenty-five minutes.
(Exit door)
PREZ
Well, thats about it anyhow.
(They all rises, PREZ collects coat)
MAE
Sure.
(MAE gets handbag from end table - crosses to PREZ. Pantomimes
conversation)
JOSEPHINE
(Puts coat on from back of chair - crosses to BABE and BRENDA)
And lets all be thinking about new ways to jam things up.
BRENDA
(Gets handbag, crosses to BABE)
Much obliged for the beer.
BABE
Thats all right.

The Pajama Game

Act 2

Scene 2

MAE
What do you mean you got to go home.
PREZ
Listen, Mae, my wife will be raising hell.
MAE
Too bad you didnt think about that before.
(Starts out)
PREZ
(Grabbing her arm)
Look Mae, Ill take you home.
MAE
(Wrenches free)
Dont bother!
(She crosses to door and opens it)
PREZ
But Mae, theres prowlers out at this hour of the night
MAE
(Framed in open door)
Single ones, I hope!
(She exits followed by PREZ)
BRENDA
Come on, Josephine
(They exit)
POP
(Enters from L, crosses to SC)
Say, I stopped in down at the corner tavern for a beer just now and guess
who I ran into.
BABE
Old man Hasler and Rita Hayworth?

The Pajama Game

Act 2

Scene 2

POP
No, Sid.
BABE
Sid? Whats he up to?
POP
The way i got it, he just been phoning you or something of that kind.
What happened between you?
BABE
Never mind, Pop.
POP
Thats what I told Sid. I told him to forget it and come on up.
BABE
(Turns to POP)
Oh, Pop, youre too fresh.
POP
That boy dont feel good about something.
BABE
Neither do I.
(Knock on door. POP goes and opens door)
POP
Come on in, Sid
(SID in doorway stands and looks at them)
BABE
(With veiled sarcasm)
Yes, do come in.
(Sid enters and closes door)
POP
Make yourself to home.
(Exits)

10

The Pajama Game

Act 2

Scene 2

SID
Have you really been away?
BABE
Sure. I went to Chicago to visit the Lincoln Park Zoo.
SID
Just because were on different sides, is that any reason for you and me
to get all balled up?
BABE
Looks like it, doesnt it?
SID
Not to me it doesnt
(Reaches for her. she pulls away)
What kind of a queen are you anyway
BABE
Havent you heard? Im the sweetheart of Local 343 Associated Garment
Workers of North America. My gosh,Sid. I warned you, I told you. You
know? You know all about how I felt. I happen to think there are certain
things a person has to stand for in this life. But I guess you forgot all
about that.
SID
I forgot nothing. They pay me to run the factory.
BABE
So run the factory. You stick to your side and Ill stick to mine.
SID
Listen, Miss Williams. I love you. Corey aint it? Did you hear me?
BABE
(Nods)
Yes

11

The Pajama Game

Act 2

Scene 2

SID
Babe cant you see my side of it? I Cant fail at this. I was a cutting
room foreman when I bluffed my way into this job and Im going to fight
to stay here. And now that Ive got you in my plans (He tries to take her
hand) Im fighting even harder
BABE
(Shakes his hands off)
Watch those hands, tycoon
(POP enters with stamp album)
POP
Well, here we are.
BABE
What you got there, Pops, your stamp album?
POP
Now dont get excited. If Sid doesnt want to look at it, why he dont
have to. No law against my looking at it is there?
BABE
But Sid likes stamps. He told me so, didnt you Sid?
SID
Yeah, I was looking at it the other night
POP
Sure! Theres universal appeal in stamps. I knew youd be interested
BABE
Sids very interested, Pop But me Im just plain bushed. So you dont
mind if I slide off to bed?
POP
Run along Honey. Good night , dear.

12

The Pajama Game

Act 2

Scene 2

SID
Good night. Sleep well.
BABE
Thanks
(She Exits)
POP
Sid, suppose we start with the Pan American issue
SID
I guess thats as good a place to start off as any.
(Lights dim on POP and SID. BABE is seen in her room)
BABE
Hey there! You with the stars in your eyes:
Love never made a fool of you, You used to be to wise.
Hey there! You on that high flyin cloud:
Though youve been acting cold to him,
You know your heart is sold to him.
Get on the ball, girl. Just take it all in your stride.
Dont let him make you fall apart. Youve always had such pride.
Wont you take this advice I hand you like a brother?
Or are you not seeing things to clear?
Are you too much in love to hear?
Is it all going in one ear

13

The Pajama Game

Act 2

Scene 3

SCENE 3: THE HALLWAY

RITA
HEY Virsharsalene (CHARLENE?), are you crazy? Slow down.
VIRSHARSALENE
Nobodys looking.
RITA
Here comes Mr Hines
VIRSHARSALENE
Oh, excuse me
(She suddenly goes into slow motion walk.HINES comes in and looks at the
girls who are walking slowly)
HINES
I hate women, thats what I do. Especially young flibberty gibbets.
(Girls toss heads)
Girls! Girls!
(Girls stop walking. HINES paces)
You are a disgrace to my training
You are hurting my feelings
(He puts his arm over his eyes and the girls rush to him in sympathy,
they surround him)
RITA
Oh. Mr Hines, we didnt mean to hurt your feelings
MARTHA
Oh, Im sorry.
VIRSHARSALENE
Its nothing personal, Mr Hines.
HINES
It cuts. It cuts. I have a notion to throw away my stopwatch and give up.
(Girls ad lib. Oh no please dont etc.)

14

The Pajama Game

Act 2

Scene 3

RITA
Wed let you train us allover again.
MAX
(Enters)
Wheres Mr. Hasler
HINES
I thought you were in Peoria.
MAX
I ask for Mr. Hasler and I get Peoria. Dont tell me youre part of this
slowdown? Never mind, Ill find him.
HINES
Did you hear that
JOSEPHINE
He seemed awfully upset.
HINES
To accuse me of a slowdown VIRSHARSALENE
Oh not you.
HINES
Me! Me! A man who has lived his life by the clock
RITA
Were sorry, Mr Hines
VIRSHARSALENE
Well be good
ALL GIRLS
Sure!

15

The Pajama Game

Act 2

Scene 3

HINES
I'm a time study man, and a time study man can't waste time.
For a time study man to waste time,is a crime.
So I'm ruled by the tick tick tock.
ALL
Tick-a-tock
HINES
And I live my life by the clock.
ALL
Tick-a-tock
HINES
And I live my life by the tick tick tock of the clock!
When I go to sleep, I don't undress.
ALL
No!
HINES
Ah, Yes, I sleep in all my clothes.
I must confess.
ALL
How strange!
HINES
You say a strange way to behave.
Well, I will admit that the suit gets mussed and it gathers lint and it
picks up dust,
But think of the time I save.
ALL
Think of the time he saves.
HINES
The alarm clock rings,

16

The Pajama Game

Act 2

Scene 3

VIRSHARSALENE
Brrrr!
JOSEPHINE
Ding!
HINES
It's 6 AM.
And then right there in bed I shave.
ALL
No!
HINES
That's what I said. While I am still in bed, I shave.
Well the lather drips and the bed gets wet
And oh what a lousy shave I get,
But think of the time I save.
ALL
Think of the time he saves.
Tick tock tick tock, Tempus fugit,
tick tock tick tock time goes by
HINES
How I love to sit and watch the seconds multiply!
At breakfast time, I grab a bowl.
And in the bowl I drop an egg, then add some juice.
ALL
Bleugh!
HINES
A poor excuse for what I crave.
And then I add some oatmeal too and it comes out tasting just like glue,
ALL
Ew!

17

The Pajama Game

Act 2
HINES
But think of the time I save.
ALL
Think of the time he saves.
Tick tock, tick tock, tempus fugit.
Tick tock, tick tock time goes by.
HINES

I'll be sitting counting seconds til the day I die.

And when I do, I have a plan:
Before I'm dead, I'll dig my grave.
ALL
What?
HINES
That's what I said. Before I'm dead I'll dig my grave.
'Cuz when St. Peter calls my name,
I know I'll get there just the same
but think of the time I'll save.
ALL
Think of the time he'll save.
HINES
Hurry up!
GIRLS 1
Think of the time
BOYS
Think of the time
GIRLS 2
Think of the time
HINES
Think of the time Ill save!

18

Scene 3

The Pajama Game

Act 2
ALL
Think of the time hell save!
HINES
Youre a long time dead

19

Scene 3

The Pajama Game

Act 2

Scene 4

SCENE 4: THE OFFICE

(MABEL seated at her desk reading her newspaper and SID at his desk on
the telephone.)
MABEL
(Reading)
Teen Age Girl Confessess
SID
(In phone)
I cant help it. Its the slowdown.
MABEL
Teen Age Boy Attacks School Teacher. Tch,Tch,Tch.
SID
Theyll get the pajamas somewhere else if we dont make deliveries. Well,
thats not my department
(He hangs up)
MABEl
Teen Age Sex Orgies Revealed Isnt that terrible?
SID
Yeah, they sure have more fun nowadays than when I was a Kid.
(HASLER enters)
MABEL
(Rises)
Good morning, Mr Hasler
HASLER
(Crosses to MABEL)
A slowdown like this proves what Ive said for years. Nobody is
interested in work.

20

The Pajama Game

Act 2

Scene 4

MABEL
Thats right!
HASLER
The whole country is on the skids.
(SID rises)
Here I am right now with employees openly defiant to top management.
SID
Look, Mr Hasler. Maybe if we offered a compromise
(MABEL picks up papers)
HASLER
(Steps to desk)
Not until theres ice in hell three feet thick.
(Hits desk)
Im a fighter, Sorokin
SID
Weve got hundred of orders to get out
MABEL
(Rises gets a letter, crosses to HASLER)
Thats right Mr. Hasler. Heres a letter from Marx and Klein over to Fort
Wayne, Indiana.
HASLER
Marx and Klein?
Damn chain outfit. Damned communists! Want another price cut I suppose.
MABEL
(Crosses to him)
Wells, they say unless we take care of this shipment
HASLER
Now, Mabel, dont stand there and try to tell me about Marx and Klein Ive been dealing with them for twenty years.
MABEL
But Mr. Hasler, they say

21

The Pajama Game

Act 2

Scene 4

(Enter MAXCrosses to C)
MAX
Ive been looking for you Mr. Hasler
HASLER
Why arent you out on the territory? What are you doing here now?
MAX
Because of what happened in Peoria
HINES
(Enters distracted, stands in door.)
The elevators stuck.
MAX
Hey! You, Hines, what size are you?
HINES
Size? Me? What is this?
(Crosses to C)
The elevator is stuck.
MAX
You look like a medium. I need you.
(MAX crosses to desk opens box)
HASLER
What on earth is going on round here?
MAX
(At desk takes out suit of pajamas)
Take your pants off.
HINES
I will do no such thing.

22

The Pajama Game

Act 2

Scene 4

MAX
Mr. Hasler, this is life and death to the Sleep Tite organization. I want
him to model these pajamas.
HASLER
Hines, take your pants off.
Hines
Okay, Chief.
(He starts to take off pants)
Me, honest?
(Pulls them up again)
MAX
Come on,come on.
MABEL
Oh what a day.
(Throws up hands - sits at her desk - covers face)
HINES
Im a very busy man. Im a Time Study Man, not a model.
MAX
This is all for Sleep Tite, Mister
HASLER
Hines put those pajamas on.
HINES
Okay, Chief.
(HINES takes off his trousers and puts them on chair)
HASLER
Hurry it up.
Lets get it over with, whatever it is.

23

The Pajama Game

Act 2

Scene 4

MAX
(Opens pajama pants)
Now Mr Hasler I want you to get the picture.
(Gives pants to HINES who puts them on)
I was showing this to Charley Robertson of the Robertson Brothers. Now I
aint one of your type salesmen that believes in half measures. When I
have a sample room I do just what we got Hinesy doing. I model the pants
myself.
(By this time HINES is modelling the pajamas.He lies on floor in various
sleeping positions)
HASLER
Beautiful styling. What more do you want?
(HINES rises)
MAX
Now wait here I am in Peoria and Im modeling the pants. Mr Robertson
and his two buyers are very impressed with the line and ready to buy. Get
the picture?
HASLER
Go on, go on. I hope theres some point to all this.
MAX
(Step to desk - pounds box)
Hines, now take a deep breath, stick out your stomach.
HINES
This is truly ridiculous
MAX
Everybody bear in mind I got these pajamas out of stock, right out of the
box. Go on.
HASLER
(Crosses to HINES)
He said to breathe. Breathe. Lets get it over.
(HINES takes a powerful breathe. The pants fall)
My God!

24

The Pajama Game

Act 2

Scene 4

HINES
Oh, Im sorry.
(He starts to recover the pants)
MAX
No, leave em lay.
(GLADYS enters - sees HINES - screams and turns to MABEL for protection)
GLADYS
What are you doing, Vernon? Playing games?
MABEL
(Rises, turns to GLADYS)
Mr Hines, Really!
SID
Let me see those.
(He grabs the pajamas,crosses back to desk)
MAX
Theyre all like that. Every one. Boxes and boxes of them
HASLER
Whats the idea? Who did this?
SID
(Examining pants)
Somebodys got quite a sense of humour.
HASLER
(Crosses to desk)
What the hell are you talking about?
SID
Two threads in every waistband button.
HASLER
What?

25

The Pajama Game

Act 2

Scene 4

SID
Theyre not sewed on. Only two threads. Somebodys being very cute.
HASLER
(Takes pajamas pants, looks)
Cute! Sabotage. Open rebellion!
HINES
(Crosses to HASLER - GLADYS crosses to chair, gets HINES trousers)
On the other hand, it might be just coincidence.
HASLER
Oh, put your pants on.
(HINES crosses)
GLADYS
(Gives trousers to him, backwards. Aside to him)
What did you do, Vernon?
HINES
(Putting pants on backward)
I didnt do anything.
SID
(In the phone)
Gimme the stock room
MAX
(Crosses to MABEL and turns)
Ill be the laughing stock of the pajama game!
(HINES zips where there is no zipper. Takes pants off, puts them on
correctly. GLADYS grabs to help. HINES pushes her hand away. Turns back
to audience)
MABEL
You never finished your story. What did this Robertson do when your pants
fell down?

26

The Pajama Game

Act 2

Scene 4

MAX
He laughed. No sense of humour.
HINES
(to GLADYS, who has tried to help him)
Keep your hands off me.
SID
(In phone)
Hold the orders till weve checked the stock. Ill be right down.
(To MAX)
Come on, Max.
(HINES is having trouble with zipper - still has back to audience as he
tugs at it. MAX exits followed by SID)
HASLER
(Crosses to MABEL as he passes HINES, GLADYs again grabs HINES pants to
help.)
They think they can lick Myron Hasler with this sort of trickery they got
another guess coming. Im a fighter. Damn Communists.
(To HINES)
Hines! Get dressed, you idiot. I want a time report on each individual
worker.
(HINES turns to HASLER - has caught L cuff in zipper - HASLER fumes GLADYS makes a last grab - HINES crosses to door helpless - hits wall
frustratedly - walks into clothes rack - exits. HASLER follows then sits
at desk helplessly)
MABEL
(Gets letter to HASLER)
Now, Mr Hasler, in this letter from Marx and Klein, they say
HASLER
Dont bother me with letters from Marx and Klein or anybody else.
MABEL
Well

27

The Pajama Game

Act 2

Scene 4

HASLER
Especially Marx and Klein, those damn pirates
(MABEL shrugs, crosses back to desk, sits. HASLER to GLADYS)
Gladys, dont forget Ive got a meeting of the Board of Directors
tomorrow
(Head in hands)
GLADYS
Yes sir. The books are all ready except HASLER
Two threads, thats what I got to tell them. Two threads.
SID
(Enters. Crosses in front of GLADYS and HASLER to DL)
Weve got to recall an awful lot of orders
HASLER
(Rises)
How many?
SID
Theyre gonna let us know
HASLER
Gladys, give me your entry.
(GLADYS gives him ledger)
SID
Clear out for a while will you Mabel?
MABEL
(Picking up her belongings, rises and crosses to door)
Oh, sure. Ill get something to settle my stomach.
(She exits)
HASLER
(Writes notation, gives it to GLADYS along with ledger)
Have it ready for the meeting tomorrow, thats all.
(GLADYS exits. HASLER starts to cross UR)

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The Pajama Game

Act 2

Scene 4

SID
Mr. Hasler.
HASLER
(Stops)
Yeah?
SID
Id like to make a pitch.
HASLER
Pitch? All right. Pitch ahead.
SID
(Crossing slowly to HASLER)
Before we get started let me make my position clear.
Im for the company first, last, and always. But labor problems have got
to end up in one way Compromise.
HASLER
(Turns to him)
Sorokin, youve been around here long enough to learn something.
But you seem a little slow. Im a fighter.
(He demonstrates John L Sullivan style)
Keep your dukes up, boy.
(Throws door open)
SID
Yes, but
HASLER
(Turns to SID)
Dont waste your breath on me. Keep your dukes up.
(He exits. As he is saying his last line, GLADYS enters with ledger)
GLADYS
Dukes up? What does that mean?

29

The Pajama Game

Act 2

Scene 4

SID
(Crosses DS of desk R)
Mr Hasler wants me to take boxing lessons.
GLADYS
(Crosses DC)
You certainly are a character.
SID
(Sits on desk, turns to her)
And Id like to get some information from you too.
GLADYS
What kind?
SID
Double entry
GLADYS
Well, youre not going to get any information, so there.
SID
Come here. Im a desperate man and I hate to ask a cute kid like you to
do me a favour but
GLADYS
(Sits beside him at his desk)
Sid dear, you wouldnt have me violate a trust would you?
SID
I sure would. If it would help to unsnarl things around here.
GLADYS
Why is that so important?
SID
(Leans over her)
Because my future depends upon the titanic struggle for pajama survival.

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Act 2

Scene 4

GLADYS
(Laughs)
Youre a scream.
SID
And I just feel that if I Knew a little more about the booking of this
(Motions to ledger she carries)
GLADYS
(Quickly crosses C)
Oh no, not that.
SID
Oh, I wouldnt ask you to show it to me. Just leave it around.
GLADYS
No. Besides its locked anyhow.
SID
I know a sexy dame whod lend me the key
GLADYS
(Crosses to him)
You think so?
SID
Wells, it would be fun trying to persuade her.
GLADYS
(Sits on side of desk)
Well, it might be fun to be persuaded - only youd be awfully sore when
you didnt get it.
SID
Oh, no Gladys, Im grown up.

31

The Pajama Game

Act 2

Scene 4

GLADYS
Quit kidding me.
(Looks into his eyes. Gets up suddenly)
Well I gotta go.
(She crosses to door UL)
SID
No, wait.
GLADYS
(Stops. Turns challengingly)
What?
SID
(Rises crosses C)
Lets go out tonight.
GLADYS
(Crosses to him)
Well, I hope youre not serious about that key.
SID
I dont feel like being serious about anything. Youre busy, huh?
GLADYS
(Crosses round him)
No, and I sure would like to, but (Puts ledger on his desk)
Oh, gee. Where will you take me?
SID
Any place you say.
GLADYS
I know a wonderful joint.
(Motions him to come to her)

32

The Pajama Game

Act 2

SCENE 5 - THE SWATCH TRAVELLER (HERNANDOS HIDEAWAY)

GLADYS
I know a dark secluded place,
A place where no one knows your face.
A glass of wine, a fast embrace,
It's called Hernando's Hideaway. Olay!
(Instrumental)
MALE CUSTOMER
Joe sent us..
FEMALE 1
Oooooooh!
FEMALE 2
Fresh!
MALE CUSTOMER 2
Poopsie, Poopsie,Poopsie!
MALE CUSTOMER 3
Hey, buddy, dis aint Poopsie!
GIRL 1
I know a dark secluded place,
GIRL 2
A place where no one knows your face.
GIRL 3
A glass of wine, a fast embrace,
ALL
It's called Hernando's Hideaway. Olay!

33

Scene 5

The Pajama Game

Scene 5

Act 2
GIRL 1

At the golden finger bowl or anyplace you go

GIRL 2
You'll meet your uncle Max and everyone you know
MALE 1
But if you go to the spot that I am thinking of
GIRL 2
You will be free
BOY 1
To gaze at me,
ALL
And talk of love.

GROUP 1

GROUP 2

Just knock
Just knock
Three times
Three times
And whisper low
And whisper low
That you
That you
And I
And I
Were sent by Joe
Were sent by Joe
Then strike
Then strike
A match
A match
And you will know
And you will know
You're in Hernando's Hideaway.

You're in Hernando's Hideaway.

Olay!

Olay!

34

The Pajama Game

Scene 5

Act 2
(Instrumental)
ALL
Huh! Huh! HuH
GLADYS

At the golden finger bowl or anyplace you go

You'll meet your uncle Max and everyone you know
But if you are sitting close and making love to me
you may take my heart, you may take my soul, but not my key

MEN

GIRLS

Just knock

Ay ay ay ay

Three times

Ay ay

And whisper low

Ay ay

That you

Ay ay ay ay ay you

And I
Were sent by Joe
Then strike

Ay ay ay ay

A match

Ay ay

And you will know

Ay ay

You're in Hernando's Hideaway.

You're in Hernando's Hideaway.

Olay!

Olay!

35

The Pajama Game

Act 2

Scene 6

SCENE 6 -HERNANDOS HIDEAWAY

GLADYS
I want to ask you a personal question, Sid. Do you like Scotch?
SID
No. Gladys, I dont like Scotch
GLADYS
Neither do I. Scotch has a very peculiar taste
(WAITER enters from L with tray, crosses to table C)
SID
Kind of a scotch-like taste?
GLADYS
Yeah, thats it. Count me out.
(To WAITER)
Is that gin?
WAITER
Yes, Maam
GLADYS
(Gulps it down - makes an ugly face)
Youre right.
(GUESTS step DR from booths and tables and mill around. WAITER exits R)
You know I cant figure you out, Sid. I guess when you first came here,
you caught on that I thought you were cute, but you never give me a
tumble till tonight.
SID
I told you what I was up to didnt I?
GLADYS
I forget. Tell me again.
SID
Im gonna get you fried and get that key away from you.

36

The Pajama Game

Act 2

Scene 6

GLADYS
(Singing to the far end of the room)
Youll never get my key. Youll never get my key!
(Juke box starts to play)
SID
Shhh. Theyll hear you GLADYS
You think Im terrible, dont you?
(BABE and PREZ enter DR. BABE crosses UR)
POOPSIE
Hey! I thought you was at the bowling alley.
PREZ
We was.
POOPSIE
Who won?
PREZ
Babe wanted to come here.
BABE
(Crossing DR)
I gotta give a message to somebody.
(People block her vision - so she doesnt see SID)
PREZ
We was gonna get thrown out anyways. Hinesy came in drunk and started
raising a ruckus
(Crosses R, sits)
POOPSIE
Did you bowl good, Babe?

37

The Pajama Game

Act 2

Scene 6

BABE
No. This wasnt my night.
(Crosses L sees SID and GLADYS)
GLADYS
Come on, lets dance.
(Gets up from table - crosses near SID, holds arm out invitingly)
POOPSIE
Babe, - youre coming to the Union Rally arent you?
(SID rises, sees BABEs back, sits suddenly)
BABE
(Crosses R)
Well sure - what do you think?
GLADYS
Whats the matter, Sid?
SID
I dont feel so good.
GLADYS
Youre sick, you mean?
SID
Not sick - just kind of depressed.
GLADYS
Oh look - dont be repressed.
(Takes key from around her neck)
Wait a minute - look what Im giving you. There it is
(Waves key in front of him)
See?
(Crosses L, sits)
Take it.
SID
This is a lousy trick, Gladys

38

The Pajama Game

Act 2

Scene 6

GLADYS
Ill just lend it to you. But dont tell anybody, and you gotta give it
back in the morning.
(BABE crosses to their table)
SID
Thanks a halluva lot.
GLADYS
Now you gonna cheer up, Sid
(Leans toward him. Sees BABE)
Hi, Babe.
SID
(Rises)
Yes, hello.
GLADYS
Sid and I are just old friends.
SID
Wont you join us?
BABE
No, thank you. Gladys! I just came to tell you that Hinesys out for
blood.
SID
The damn fool
GLADYS
Hes always got a knife. Hes living in the past. Thats not healthy, do
you think so, Sid?
BABE
Look, I dint come here to be funny, and I dont come here because Im
craving your company or wanting to join your party or anything like that.
I came here to tell you hes dangerous.

39

The Pajama Game

Act 2

Scene 6

GLADYS
He talks dangerous, but he isnt. I think Ill take a nap.
(She puts her head on the table. BABE turns crosses to exit)
SID
Babe, please (Tries to stop her steps R - sees PREZ)
GLADYS
(Lifts head)
Oh, dear, a fallen woman - thats what I am. I lost my key.
(Puts head back on table)
SID
(Crosses back to C)
Im gonna get Prez to take you home. Is that all right?
GLADYS
(Looks up)
If Mr Hasler ever finds out
SID
He wont find out
GLADYS
I cant face myself. I better take another nap
(Drops head again)
SID
(Crosses to PREZ taking money out of his pocket)
Prez,
(PREZ rises)
Pay up for me and take Gladys home, will ya?
PREZ
Gladys? Oh, sure, sure, Sid. Glad to.
SID
Ive got some important bookkeeping to do. (Exits)

40

The Pajama Game

Act 2

Scene 6

PREZ
(To GLADYS)
Her is the cutest one.
GLADYS
(Raises head)
I remember you
(Drops head)
PREZ
(Sits)
You got class, you know it? Her is the cutest.
MAE
(Pops up from booth behind them - sticks head through lattice)
No, him is the cutest.
(PREZ rises)
PREZ
What?
(MAE comes out of booth L, crosses to him.)
MAE
You cornfed Romeo! I know what goes with you all right, all right!
(She starts after PREZ, who crosses R)
You snake in the grass. It doesnt matter to you if you break a persons
heart. Ill claw your eyes out.
(Chases him out R)
GLADYS
(Applauds)
Encore, encore.
(Puts head back on table. HINES enters UL, drunk, crosses to L of GLADYS
stamps feet three times, drops knife)
Oh, I see you. You dont need to drop anything.
(WAITER strikes chair R)

41

The Pajama Game

Act 2

Scene 6

HINES
(Picks up knife)
You abandoned woman - you hussey.
GLADYS
(Rises crosses DC)
After the way you behaved.
(WAITER strikes table to R)
Taking your pants off in Mr Haslers office.
(HINES put his arm around her shoulders. She pushes him away)
Dont touch me! Prez will see me home
(Crosses to R, staggering and stops)
And Im glad I never married you!
(Exits R)

42

The Pajama Game

Act 2

Scene 7

SCENE 7 - BEDROOOM

HINES
Prez, Sid, Tom, Dick, Harry (Music. HINES staggers back U to chair C, falls into it)
I Can see what marriage with Gladys would be like
(HIDEAWAY set divides opening full stage to reveal bedroom)
HINES sits brooding on chair C, GLADYS enter DR dressed in a cheesy
bathrobe, with curlers in her hair. She is a terrible sight. HINES
pantomimes husband going to work, leaving her to scrub floor. After HE
exits, She is galvanised into action. There is a signal from a moosehead
that a man is approaching. She takes of her robe and curlers, puts on a
glamorous negligee and awaits the arrival of a debonair FRENCHMAN in
striped pants. This is HINES again. THEY dance around, making foolish
love. The moosehead lights up again, and she stuffs the FRENCHMAN into
her wardrobe closet.
SHE goes back and lies down on the bed, WRESTLER (kind of a Gorgeous
George), also HINES enters. THEY wrestle. Moosehead lights up, and SHE
stuffs him into wardrobe also. SHE dons her frumpy bathrobe and curlers,
starts to scrub floor. Her husband(HINES) arrives, goes to closet.
FRENCHMAN takes his hat and case from him. HINES does a double take,
wrenches open wardrobe door, and MEN come plummeting out. Dance around
GLADYS, Pick her up - move SR
DROP COMES IN
GLADYS does strip in front of it. HINES appears - then MABEL dressed in
angels costume and throws arms around him.
He breaks down and cries on MABELs shoulder. BOYS carry GLADYS off DL.
HINES follows with an oversize knife. MABEL as an angel, runs behind.
BLACKOUT

43

The Pajama Game

Act 2

Scene 8

SCENE 8 - THE OFFICE

(SID sitting at desk R with GLADYS Ledger. CHARLEY enters from R)

CHARLEY
(In door)
Sid.
SID
Morning, Charley
CHARLEY
(Crosses to behind SID)
Theres a committee from the union downstairs waiting to see you.
SID
Yeah, I sent for them.
CHARLEY
(Steps to L of him - Looks over his shoulder)
You been here all night?
(Crosses to door L)
SID
Thats no joke Charley, I have.
(Closes ledger. Picks up telephone)
Id like to speak to Mr Hasler, please.
(To CHARLEY)
And whats more I think I got something.
(At door L)
CHARLEY
Take it easy, boy
(He exits L)

44

The Pajama Game

Act 2

Scene 8

SID
(In phone)
Mr Hasler,
(He rises)
Could you come to the office right away?
(KNOCK)
Come in
(In phone)
Its pretty important. Thanks
(Door opens and PREZ, JOSEPHINE and BABE enter R)
Come on in, please.
(PREZ steps to desk, JOSEPHINE, US of him, BABE last, closes door)
Sorry to have to drag you out so early but I knew you were having a union
rally and I wanted to talk to you first.
PREZ
Thats okay, Sid.
SID
I think Ive got hold of some facts that may clean up this mess
PREZ
Well, it better be quick. Either we get the seven-and-a-half cents or we
strike
JOSEPHINE
Youre damned right
SID
What I want to ask is, will you, keep your rally going till I get there
and talk to you?
PREZ
What about?
SID
About solving this damned thing

45

The Pajama Game

Act 2

Scene 8

BABE
There ought to be a time limit.
SID
All right, youre going to have a parade.
JOSEPHINE
We sure are
SID
Thatll give me time. Ill be at the rally
PREZ
Thats fair enough.
(They start out)
SID
Oh, Miss Williams, can I speak to you?
PREZ
Well wait for you downstairs, Babe.
(Motions JOSEPHINE out of the door - follows. BABE looks at SID crosses
DS of desk)
SID
(Meeting her)
I know explanations are lousy.
BABE
(Starting to go)
Oh, no Sid I
SID
(Grabs her, puts her in chair L of desk)
Babe, please! Youve got to let me explain.
BABE
I dont want an explanation. Its humiliating.
(Rises - crosses R)

46

The Pajama Game

Act 2

Scene 8

SID
But you mustnt think
BABE
I dont think anything. I dont care.
(Turns to him)
Sid, if its about you and Gladys, its none of my business.
SID
But it is your business.
BABE
(Crosses DR)
Oh the hell with that. Im talking about something bigger.
SID
Well this is just great. Cant we even talk to each other and make sense
any more?
BABE
(Pause - Crosses C)
I dont see how. Not until this is over.
SID
Ive been eating mud long enough. Ive had it.
BABE
(Turns to him)
What do you suggest, Sid?
SID
Meet me after the rally
BABE
I cant, I have a date.
SID
Well, thats that.

47

The Pajama Game

Act 2

Scene 8

BABE
(Crosses to door and immediately turns to him)
Ill break it
(She exits. SID starts after her. Scream off L GLADYS enters)
GLADYS
Sid I got to warn you. Vernons not fooling this time. Weve been at it
all night, screaming and yelling and SID
Just calm yourself, Gladys. Ill fix everything, Ill take him aside and
tell him the whole story. In the meantime heres your key.
(HINES appear in doorway, aims knife, then disappears. SID takes key from
the pocket and puts it around her neck)
GLADYS
Listen - I thought I heard something (Screams - CLUNK - a knife dives into the wall near SIDs head. GLADYS
leaps away - kneels by desk SL and SID ducks)
SID
(Yelling)
You maniac! The fool!
(Rushes - crosses to door)
Hinesy, You damn fool!
(Looks at GLADYS)
Whey!
GLADYS
I told you I heard something.
SID
(Crosses back to GLADYS)
You heard something all right. Well, Im glad hes got that out of his
system.
GLADYS
(Rises)
How do we know that he has? How do we know -

48

The Pajama Game

Act 2

Scene 8

SID
(Goes to her)
Now, Gladys, cut it out.
(Takes her by shoulders)
Its going to be all right. Now you (CLUNK. Another knife flies through the air and sticks in the desk near
SID. GLADYS screams and ducks. SID jumps)
GLADYS
(Crouching by desk SL)
Youve got to stop him.
SID
Ill fix that baby
(Picks up a window opener for a club and stalks toward door R. HASLER
enters opposite side)
HASLER
(Crosses to desk R)
I hope this call turns out to be important
(HASLER is arrested by SIDs attitude with club)
Whats going on here?
(Sees knife in wall)
Now look! Look! Thats not nice. I dont like this.
(Turns to SID)
This is company property, Sorokin.
SID
(Crosses back to C)
Id better explain Mr Hasler
HASLER
I think somebody better
GLADYS
(Screaming)
Look out!
(CLUNK. Another knife just misses HASLER)

49

The Pajama Game

Act 2

Scene 8

HASLER
What the hell!
(GLADYS jumps half behind file cabinet - Crouches low SID crosses back C
back to wall, HASLER ducks behind chair at desk L)
Theyre trying to murder me!
SID
(Exits R)
Ill stop that
(He dashes out after HINES)
HASLER
(Hiding behind chair)
Call Senator Hickenlooper.
GLADYS
Yes, Sir!
(Reaches for phone on desk L)
HASLER
Its a plot to murder me! Theyve imported gangsters from Chicago! The
old Al Capone gang.
GLADYS
(Holding phone)
I dont think so, Mr Hasler
HASLER
Dont argue with me! Didnt you see those knives! Thats the work of
foreigners!
(Off stage music: Seven and a half cents - one and a half choruses - fade
out)
GLADYS
But, Mr Hasler.

50

The Pajama Game

Act 2

Scene 8

HASLER
(Pounding chair)
Its Chicago gangsters!
GLADYS
Mr Hasler, Its HASLER
(Hears singing)
Theyre marching. Whats that?
GLADYS
No, its the Union Rally. Theyre going to have a parade.
(SID comes in leading HINES by the arm. He carries a broken window opener
in the other hand. HINES has a bruise on his forehead. He hold a
handkerchief to it)
HASLER
(Crosses C)
Hines, where have you been? On the job, man. The place is full of
gangsters. Theyre out to get me.
SID
(Lets HINES go - HINES crosses L, glares at GLADYS)
Theyre not after you, Mr Hasler. Theyre after me.
HASLER
(Crosses to SIDs desk)
Talk, talk. Why doesnt someone do something?
(He grabs the phone. In phone)
Get me the police.
SID
(Crosses to R of HASLER. Taking the phone away from him and hanging up puts the window pole on desk)
You dont want to arrest Hines, do you?
HASLER
Hines?

51

The Pajama Game

Act 2

Scene 8

SID
He was trying to kill me.
HASLER
He was?
(Turns to HINES)
Hines, supppose youd succeeded and me right in the middle of labour
troubles. Suppose youd hit him?
HINES
I could have hit him if I wanted to. I was just trying to scare him.
(Hangs his head, ashamed)
HASLER
(To SID)
Is this what you called me about, to come here and risk my life?
SID
No!
HASLER
(Looks at HINES and GLADYS)
I dont want to be involved in these personal matters.
SID
I called you because theres going to be a strike this morning unless you
listen to me
HASLER
I told you. Im a fighter
SID
So am I
HASLER
What?
SID
Gladys, have his head patched up.

52

The Pajama Game

Act 2

Scene 8

GLADYS
(Crosses to HINES, takes his arm. Holding door)
All right, Vernon
HINES
(Pulling away)
Take your hands off me - Im a fighter, I am!
GLADYS
Come on, Tiger!
(GLADYS and HINES go out L - HASLER looks after them)
SID
Mr Hasler. Im going before the Board of Directors.
HASLER
(Turning)
You are What?
SID
If I cant solve this any other way.
HASLER
Solve what?
(Crosses LC)
Sometimes I think
SID
(Picks up ledger)
Ive been up all night with your ledger.
HASLER
What did you say?
SID
I apoloogise. I know you didnt hire me as a safe-cracker, but I had to
get some facts. Ive been through your books.

53

The Pajama Game

Act 2

Scene 8

HASLER
You mean to say that.?!
SID
That seven-and-a-half cents was added to the operating costs six months
ago. You saw the trend, got a head-start and pocketed the difference
before you had to give it the workers
HASLER
I could have you arrested
SID
And I could have you exposed! Or we can keep this secret to ourselves
and give these people what they deserve; A seven-and-a-half cent raise.
So whatll it be?
HASLER
I can fire you, thats what I can do.
SID
No you cant. But you can give that raise, if you dont, Ill go before
the board and tell them the situation and tell them how many orders have
been cancelled.
HASLER
Not one damn order SID
(Crosses to HASLER)
Read your mail. Theres a dozen cancellation. Mabels tried all day
yesterday to tell you about Marx and Klein.
(HASLER turns front)
And if this operation folds up, I fold up with it. And I dont want to,
so do me a favour
(SID pushes chair under HASLER)
Sit down and talk to me.
(BLACKOUT)

54

The Pajama Game

Act 2

Scene 9

SCENE 9 - THE RALLY

(During dialogue people gradually drive on)
BRENDA
Sure, Hasler was in Sorokins office when we marched by the factory. Now
hell know we mean business
RITA
Here comes Prez.
(PREZ enters DR wearing a blue ribbon.Crosses LC)
BRENDA
(Crosses to PREZ)
Hey, why aint you in the parade, Prez?
(MAE has entered DL)
PREZ
I dont want to get out of breath before making my speech.
JOSEPHINE
This will wake them up.
PREZ
(Turns to MAE)
Is my ribbon straight?
MAE
I dont know ask your wife.
BRENDA
(Crosses between PREZ and MAE)
Were sure to win aint we, Prez?
(BABE enter DL)
PREZ
What kind of question is that? Sure we are.
(POOPSIE enters)
Babe will tell you

55

The Pajama Game

Act 2

Scene 9

BABE
(Crosse LC)
The answer is yes - thats the answer to everything today. What is it?
BRENDA
I just asked are we going to win the strike.
BABE
(Crosses C)
Sure were going to win and that aint all.
PREZ
Babe and me was up half the night figuring things out. I got it all
written down on paper.
BRENDA
What do you mean, Prez?
PREZ
I figured it out
I figured it out
With a pencil and a pen I figured it out.
Seven and a half cents doesn't buy a helluva lot,
Seven and a half cents doesn't mean a thing!
But give it to me every hour,
Forty hours every week,
And that's enough for me to be living like a king!
I figured it out
ALL
He figured it out!
PREZ
I figured it out
ALL
He figured it out!

56

The Pajama Game

Act 2

Scene 9

PREZ
With a pencil and a pad I figured it out!
Only five years
ALL
Five years!
PREZ
From today!
ALL
From today!
PREZ
Only five years
ALL
Five years!
PREZ
From today!
ALL
From today!
PREZ
I can see it all before me!
Only five years from today!
Five years! Let's see..thats 260 weeks, times forty hours every week, and
roughly two and a quarter hours overtime.. at time
and a half for overtime! Comes to exactly.. $852.74!
That's enough for me to get
An automatic washing machine,
A years supply of gasoline,
Carpeting for the living room,
GIRLS
A vacuum instead of a blasted broom,

57

The Pajama Game

Act 2

Scene 9

PREZ
Not to mention a forty inch television set!

ALL
So! Although!
Seven and a half cents doesn't buy a helluva lot,
Seven and a half cents doesn't mean a thing!
But give it to me every hour,
Forty hours every week,
And that's enough for me to be living like a king!
BABE
I figured it out
ALL
She figured it out! She figured it out!
(Babe)
I figured it out!
With a pencil and a pad I figured it out.
Only ten years from today,
Only ten years from today,
I can see it, clear as daylight,
Only ten years from today!
Ten years! Let's see..thats 520 weeks, times forty hours every week, and
roughly two and a quarter hours overtime.. at time
and a half for overtime! Comes to exactly.. $1705.48!
ALL
Hooray!
BABE
That's enough for me to buy
ALL
WHAT?

58

The Pajama Game

Scene 9

Act 2
BABE
A trip to France across the seas,
A motorboat and water skis,
Maybe even a foregian car,
JOSEPHINE
A charge account at the corner bar,
BABE

Not to mention a scrabble board with letters made of gold!

GROUP 1

GROUP 2

So! Although!
We figured it out
Seven and a half cents

We figured it out

doesn't buy a hell of a lot,

We figured it out

Seven and a half cents

We figured it out

doesn't mean a thing!

I figured that

But give it to me every hour,

give it to me every hour,

Forty hours every week,

Forty hours every week,

And that's enough for me to be

And that's enough for me to be

living like a king

living like a king

PREZ
We figured it out!
ALL
They figured it out!
They figured it out!
BABE AND PREZ
We figured it out!
ALL
With a pencil and a pad they figured it out

59

The Pajama Game

Act 2
BABE
Only twenty years from today
ALL
Doo - wah
PREZ
Only twenty years from today
ALL
Doo - wah
PREZ
I can see it like a vision
ALL
Only twenty years from today
(OOOOOH! during dialogue)
PREZ
Twenty years! Let's see..thats 1040 weeks,
BABE
Times forty hours every week,
PREZ

Roughly two and a quarter hours overtimeat

BABE
Time and a half for overtime!
PREZ
Comes to exactly.. $3411.96!
ALL
Wow!

60

Scene 9

The Pajama Game

Act 2

Scene 9

PREZ
That's enough for me to be
ALL
Yeah!
PREZ
A sultan in a taj mahal
In every room a different doll!
BABE
I'll have myself a buying spree,
I'll buy a pajama factory,
Then I could end up having old man Hasler work for me!
ALL
So! Although!
Seven and a half cents doesn't buy a helluva lot,
Seven and a half cents doesn't mean a thing!
But give it to me every hour,
Forty hours every week,
And that's enough for me to be
Living (Seven and a half cents)
Like a king!
(SID enters from L makes way D LC, HINES sneaks on behind him and lies
unseen behind chorus)
SID
Prez.
PREZ
Yeah?
SID
We can settle this strike.

61

The Pajama Game

Act 2

Scene 9

PREZ
Well, how?
SID
Sleep Tite can offer you a compromise
PREZ
What?
SID
Mr Hasler will give you the seven-and-a-half cents if you give up your
claims for retroactive pay.
MAE
We aint giving up nothing
(BABE crosses DC)
PREZ
Now waitSidI dont know
BABE
Well, I do. Lets get it over. Weve won.
All
Weve won, weve won!
JOSEPHINE
(Runs in)
Haslers talking. Hes at the rally.
CROWD
Hooray!
PREZ
Come on!
(The CROWD rushes out R)

62

The Pajama Game

Act 2

Scene 9

HINES
I told you this show was about capital and labour!
BABE
Sid
SID
All I did was get the key to the book from Gladys, so I could see what
Hasler was up to.
BABE
He cooked the books?
SID
You dont know half of it
BABE
Sid?
SID
Yeah?
BABE
Youve been so wonderful (Pause) I could kiss you
SID
I wouldnt want to be kissed for settling a strike.
BABE
No?
SID
Of course, if its anything personal
BABE
Oh, extremely personal
(They kiss)

63

The Pajama Game

Act 2
HINES
Embarrassing I call it.
BABE
I love you
SID
Tell me
BABE
I love you
SID
Tell me
BABE
I love you
SID
Tell me more
BABE
What a man I tell you
More than lion loves her cub
SID
More than a limey loves his pub
BABE
More than a flounder loves his fin
SID
More than a guzzler loves his gin
More
BABE
More,

64

Scene 9

The Pajama Game

Scene 9

Act 2
SID
More,
BABE
More,
SID
More,
BABE
More,
SID
More,
BABE
More
SID

BABE

There once was a man,

There once was a woman
Who loved a woman
Who loved a man
She was the one he
Slew the dragon for

He was the one that

She took poison for!

They say that no-

They say that no-

body ever loved

body ever loved

As much as he-ee,

As much as she-ee,

But me-ee,

But me-ee,

I love you more.

I love you more

But me-ee,

But me-ee

I love you more!

I love you more!

(They exit)
HINES

Theyll never last. And now well take you to one of the towns most
exclusive clubs where a party is being given jointly by Mr Hasler and the
Union. We were told to dress for the occasion.
(He Exits)

65

The Pajama Game

Act 2

Scene 10

SCENE 10 - HERNANDOS HIDEAWAY

MAX
Attention! Step back more Quiet! Quiet!
HASLER
(Crossing to C from R)
Now, Max
MAX
Yes, M. H
HASLER
I just want to say one word.
MAX
Okay, M. H
HASLER
(To audience)
Fellow Sleep Titers, this demonstration of harmony in our factory hits
something deep inside of me and I know this party of yours is going to be
a great success because it stems from genuine Sleep Tite spirit of
solidarity
(Crosses SR GIRL kisses HASLER)
ALL
Hooray!
MAX
Well, we sure all say Okay to that, M.H.
So on with our little tribute to Sleep Tite Pajamas. And - Now on with
the Sleep Tite Fashion parade. Wear Sleep Tite at all social functions.
Hit it fellas!
All
Doo doo doo doo dooo
(Panel curtain opens revealing workers one and a time clad in varying
pajamas)

66

The Pajama Game

Act 2

Scene 10

MABEL
I love Sleep Tite, when I work all day, but theyre better at night when
its time to play.
MAX
Sleep Tite has everything grace , style and comfort.
BRENDA
Im grace
POOPSIE
Im style
MAE (BRENDA AND POOPSIE)
Im comfort
PREZ
Comfort suits me very well but marriages kind of
MAX
Wear Sleep Tite for happy family life
HINE
Now I trust her night and day
GLADYS
Thats true love the Sleep Tite way!
MAX
And another point Sleep Tite is economical!
SID
Married life is lots of fun
BABE
Two can sleep as cheap as one

67

The Pajama Game

Act 2
ALL
The Pajama Game
Is the game were in.
And were proud to be
In the Pajama Game
We love it.
We can hardly wait to wake
And get to work at eight
Nothing's quite the same
As the Pajama Game.
BABE
Sleep Tite Folks!

(BOWS)
ALL
Seven and a half cents doesn't buy a helluva lot,
Seven and a half cents doesn't mean a thing!
But give it to me every hour,
GIRLS
Forty hours every week,
ALL
That's enough for me to be
Living Like a king!

68

Scene 10