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Katie Bell
Professor Jarvis
FHS 1400
February 24, 2016
Unit 3 Essay 2
Prototypes of Love
The concept of prototypes of love is discussed in our textbook. The assumption is that
all of us, whether formally or informally, have a list of what we are looking for in a mate. Make
of list of the 15 most important things you look for in a mate. Once you have completed the list,
put a start next to the five characteristics, traits or qualities that you believe are most important.
Explain why you identified those five as being the most important qualities in a mate.
What Im Looking for in a Partner:
1. Same religious beliefs and practices*
2. Same moral standards*
3. One who can make me laugh and smile
4. One who is trustworthy and honest
5. One who is committed and loyal
6. One who is deeply my best friend*
7. Same hobbies and interests
8. One who is caring and sympathetic
9. One who is creative and unexpected
10. One who fits well with my immediate family
11. One who can go through tough times well*
12. One who can communicate well

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13. One who wants to have a family and children*

14. One who can support me across the board

My top 5 most important things to find in a partner are and why:

Religion is a major part of my life. Its where I focus my lifestyle and its shaped me into
who I am. The partner I am looking for must have the same religious beliefs as I do. I would not
be able to have a relationship with someone who doesnt share my beliefs. Having correct moral
standards is another thing I would have to have for a relationship to happen. This ties closely to
religion for me and is how I live my life.
Third, the partner I am looking for needs to be my best friend before anything else. The
Sternberg triangular theory of love, (Strong & Cohen 2014, p. 159) says to have a
complete relationship you need intimacy, commitment and passion. However, the triangle also
says that passion will decline after the first few years of marriage. I want someone who does not
want me just for the passion aspect. I want someone who will love me regardless of the amount
of passion in the relationship. I want someone who I can grow to become one with. Someone
who knows theres more to life that just the physical aspect of a relationship. I feel that to be the
closest with a partner you should both be able to have a good time without having to be
passionate all the time.
I also want someone who can work through tough times well. In any relationship there
are several times where the road gets a little rocky. I want someone who is willing to help me up
when I need a hand, to let me know things will work out in the end. Without a person who is
caring and sympathetic, I feel it would be hard to get through tough things. I would hope that by
working through hard things as a team it would bring my partner and I closer than anything else.
I want someone who values family and children. I would like to be a stay at home mother
in the future and to do that I am going to need a partner who can support us. Family is a big deal

to me so I would be looking for someone who cares just the same about families and children. I
dont think a relationship would work for me if my partner didnt want to have children.
All of the items on my list are important, but these five are a must have for my future
partner. Since these items are who I am, thats who I am looking for in a partner. I think having a
list of what you look for in a mate is important because it helps you to learn what and who you
would work best with in a relationship.
Works Cited
Strong, Bryan, and Theodore F. Cohen. The Marriage and Family Experience:
Intimate Relationships in a Changing Society. Print.