Writing Our Tomorrows

By
Charlotte Marsh

Itwasterrible.Iwasterrible.Nolaworrulejustifiesmyactions,nordoesitmakeitokay.I
feelasifmyconsciencewasonvacationandIwaslefttofendformyself,whilethekindnessinmy
heartslowlydeteriorated.ItwastheSpringof2008thatIlostmyselftotheevilsoftheworld.What
ledmetotreatahumanbeinglikethisisunknown,anditstillis.MaybeImill,withamassivebrain
tumoreatingawayatmybraintissue,distortingmyperspectiveofhumanity.Mymotherandfather
raisedmewelltheytaughtmetosharemypossessions,andtoupliftothersspiritswiththepure
kindnessheldwithinme.ThisleadsmetoquestionwhyIcausedtwohumanbeingstogothrough
unnecessary,torturous,servitude.

***

Thewoodenmahoganydoorcreaksopentomybedroom,lettingasinglerayoflight
illuminatethecarpet.Thegirlstepsin,holdingatrayofneatlypreparedbacon,eggs,sausagesand
orangejuice.
Master?ShesqueaksasIopenoneeye,andthenshutthemforcefullyindisgust.Iam
coziedinmyvelvetduvetandcottonnightgown,withmyhairstillinthedutchbraidfromtheday
before.Myeyeswanderaroundtheroomandlockontoeveryfaintblueflowerthatwaspaintedon
mywall.
Mast,shesaysbeforeIquicklyinterrupther.
Bringittome,now!
Shestumblesacrossthefloorandtripsonmynewrug.

Whatiswrongwithyou?Ididntthinkyouwereincapableofcarryingatraytomybed!
Thegirljumpstoherkneesandcleansupthemess.Ineverbotheredtolearnhernameafterall.
Aminutelaterhermother,Yuni,runsinandhelpsherdaughter.Theyounggirlissixnow,I
believe.HermotherwaspregnantwhenshewasbroughtovertotheUnitedStatesfromHonduras,
andshebeggedmetoletherkeepherbaby.Eventually,Iletin.Afterall,twoslavesisbetterthan
one.
IsthisgoodworkMaam?Yunisaidasshepointstothelargeorangeyblackstainonthe
floor.
Noofcoursenot!Youwillsithereforhoursifthatshowlongittakestocleanthatup!I
jumpoutfromthecoversofmybedandgrabthelittlegirlswrist.
Youarenousetome!Youreuseless!Iyell.Iseethetearsrolldownherface,ontoher
browntatteredrags.ShescreamsandsquirmsundermytightgripasIdragherdowntotheroomat
theendofthehall.Iletgoandshestumblesintothedoor,andslidesdowntothefloor,whimpering.
Whatareyoudoingtomydaughter?Yunishrieksatme.Lillianisonlysixyearsold.
Howcouldyoudothatdoalittlegirl?Sherunsovertoherdaughterandpicksherup.
Irespondquicklybeforethemothercanspeakagain.Youwillnottouchher,talktoher,or
makeanycontactwithher!Iamhermaster.ShetakesordersfromME!Onceagain,IgrabLillians
wristandpushherintotheroom,thenlockthedoor.IpushYunibackagainstthewall.Nobody
speaksagainstme.IshoveYuniintotheroomwithherdaughter,andwalkintothebathroomandI
lookatthereflectionstaringbackatmefromthemirror.Itshollow,likeallthethingsthatmakeit
realhavebeenscoopedoutandthrownaway.Imlookingatagirlwithdirtyblondhairsplattered
withdarkblood.Underhericyeyesareinflamedscratchmarksmadebyherownnails.

WhatamIdoingwithmyli,Istartedbeforealoudcrashechoedthroughthehouse.A
coldsweatcoversmyskinasIslowlyincharoundthecornerofmyroom.Aseriesofloudcracks
breakthesilenceonceagain.Acoolbreezeblowsagainstmyskinwhichisodd,becauseInever
openedawindoworopenedadoor.Idashtothedoor,quicklyunlockit,andgaspatthesightbefore
me.Thereisgapingholeinthewallbeforeme.Thenavybluewallsarenowglowingfromthe
sunlightseepingin.
Whatdidyoudo?!
Theresnoresponse.MyeyesscantheroomforthetwobodiesIplacedthere,butdont
senseanyhumanactivity.Myslaveshaveescapedthroughaholeinthewall.Perfect.

***

Irememberthatdayclearly.Myfeelingsandemotionshadvanished,andhadbeenreplaced
withunsure,ambitiousintentions.IdesperatelywantedtofindLillianandYunibeforethe
authoritiescaughtthem,andIwasuncoveredastheculprit,soItoojumpedouttheholeinmywall
andsearchedformymissingslaves.

***

Thefrontofmyhouseisbeautiful.Vibrantpinkrosebusheslinetheedgesofmyhome,
which

wasrecentlypaintedacreamyshadeofwhite.Thereisapathofmulticoloredstonesthatlead
tomy

frontdoor,andtwoperfectlycuthedgesthatseparatetheneighbor'sterritorytomine.The

grassthatcoversmostoftheyardissurprisinglystillavibrantgreen.Itneverhastobewatered,
becauseInolongerhavechildrentokickaball,ordocartwheelsonitandwearitout.Ioftenpity
myselfforthelonelinessthatengulfsme.MaybethatswhyIsmuggledslavesoverthestateborder.
Theyareillegalcitizens,becauseIwasincapableofmakingreal,worthwhilefriends.

***

Islippedabaseballcapovermyheadandeyes,sonobodywouldcatchaglimpseofmyface,
currentlycoatedinguilt.Hopefullynobodywouldnoticethegapingholeinthefrontofmyhouse.
Beautifulafternoonisntit?Statedanoldmanwithshimmeringhazeleyes,maybeinhis
late60s.
Yes,itis!Lovingthewarmsunitsbeenrainingallspring!IquicklyrespondsoIdont
raisesuspicion.

Ahyes,wellhaveanicerestofyourday.
Youtoo,butIactuallyhaveaquickquestionforyou.Haveyouseenawoman,about19

andalittlegirlwalkingby?Theybothhavechestnutcoloredhairthatsgrowndowntothemiddle
oftheirtorsoandwerewearingbrownragsandrippedjeans.IamawareofthetensionthatI
caused.Nobodyinthisneighborhoodwalksaroundwearingragsandrippedjeans.Themanlooksat
meblanklyandwalksaway,asifhe'djustheardthathiscathaddied.Asmyheadturnstocontinue
searchingformyservants,Iheartheoldmansraspyvoiceagain.
Hello?911?Ineedthepoliceimmediately.No,now!IthinkIwasjusttalkingtothe
womankeepingpeoplecaptiveasslaves.CenterRoad.Yes,thankyou.

MypulsequickensandIcanfeelmyfaceburninguplikeacherry.IfIdontfindLillianand
Yunisoon,Iamdoomedtoalifeinprison,andallmyhardworkwillbewasted.EventhoughIm
franticallylookingaroundforthemotheranddaughter,Icanfeeltheoldmanseyestracingmy
everymove,slittingscorchingburnsdeepintothebackofmyneck.Ilistenforaslightrustlingof
leaves,orascreechyvoicethatmightleadmetomyescapees,butnosoundreachesmyears.Ifeel
liketheworldhasstopped.Likethewindhasstoppedblowingandthesunhasstoppedshining.The
onlyaudiblesound,isthethumpingfootstepsoftheoldman.
You!Canyoupleaseexplainyourrelationtothewomanandyounggirl?BeforeIhavea
chancetothinkofalie,Idartintheoppositedirection.Housesofalldifferentcolorszoompastme
asIsprintdownthealleyroad,hopingtocatchaglimpseofLillianorYuni.Ireachtheendofthe
roadthatissurroundedbygloomyoaktrees,andskidtoastopfromthewhimperingonmyleft.My
headturnsleft,andthereIseeLillian,bloodpouringfromherknees,andYunitryingdesperatelyto
quiether.
Itstoolatetoescapenow.LillianandYunisheadboltupwardsasterrorovertakesthem.
YunishandcoversLilliansmouthtokeepherfromscreaming,assheisdesperatelytryingto
escapehermothersgrasp.
Gofindsomeoneelsetotorture!LeavemylittlegirlandIalone!Yunicries.
WhyshouldI?Ihaveyou.YoudomyworkwhenItellyouto,welcomeyourdaily
beatings,andobviouslyacceptthefactthatyouarentfedwiththepropernutrientsandvitaminsthat
Iam.IsmirkatYunisstupidity,andforcefullygrabboththeirwrists.Yourecomingbackhome
withme.IfIhearonemorecomplaintyoucansaygoodbyetoyourlittlegirl.

Apiercingscreamshatterstheair,andechoesthroughoutthevalleyofhouses,andIspeedup
myjogtoasprint.Lillianisalmostbeingdraggedontheroughcementroad,asshecannotkeepup
withmypace.Weroundacorner,andvividblueandredlightsblindme.Mygriponthegirl's
wristsisbrokenascoldchainslockaroundmine.
Youareunderarrestforbeingapresumedculpritofdomesticservitude.Youhavetheright
toremainsilent.Anythingyousaycanandwillbeusedagainstyouinacourtoflaw.Youhavethe
righttoanattorney.Ifyoucannotaffordanattorney,onewillbeappointedtoyoubythestate.
Ivebeencaught.Theresnogoingback.Goodbye,CenterRoad.Hello,consequences.

***

AfterIwasarrested,Iwasconvictedformycrimes.Iwassentencedeightyearsinprison,and
rightfullyso.LillianandYuniweretakentothenearesthospital,andgivenimmediatetreatment.
TurnsoutthatYunihadlivedwithafracturedhandthewholetimeIhadheldhercaptive,and
Lillianresultedinneedingaseriesofsurgeriesforseriousinternalbleeding.Iveheard,thattheyre
currentlylivingintheirownapartmentandthatYunihasawellpaidandstablejob.Thoughtheyare
currentlydoingfine,Iknowthattheywillmostlikelysufferyearsofsevereflashbacksfromthe
horrorsoftheirpast.NeverwillIbeabletolivewiththefactthatIwasthecauseoftheir
traumatization.Idreadmyactionseternally,butwhatscaresmethemostisthatthereareother
peoplelikeme,whohavesmuggledpeopleovertheUnitedStatesborderstobetheirownpersonal
servants.Imfilledwithregret,andwoulddoanythingtorewritethepast,butIcant.Notmany
culpritsofdomesticservitudeoranytypeofslaveryrealizetheirwrongs,butIhave.Iwaslivingina

bubbleofignoranceduringtheSpringof2008,butIhavechanged.Maybethekindnessthathad
emptiedoutofmyhearthasfoundawaybackin.MaybeIhaverealizedthatIcantalteryesterday,
butcanchangetomorrowandturnitintosomethingbetter.