FOOL FOR LOVE

By SAM SHEPARD

EDDIE:(
seated,tossinggloveonthetable.)
(
short
pause
)
May,look.May?Imnotgoinanywhere.See?
Imrighthere.Imnotgone.Look
(
Shewont.)

Idont
knowwhyyouwontjustlookatme.Youknowits
me.Whoelsedoyouthinkitis.
(Pause)
Youwant
somewaterorsomethin?Huh?
(Hegetsupslowly,

EDDIE:Horses.

MAY:Pussy.

EDDIE:Comeon,May.

goescautiouslytoher,strokesherheadsoftly,shestays
MAY:Theysmelllikemetal.
still.)
May?Comeon.Youcantjustsitaroundhere

likethis.Howlongyoubeensittinhereanyway?
EDDIE:Imnotgonnastartthisshit.
Youwantmetogooutsideandgetyousomething?
Somepotatochipsorsomething?
(
Shesuddenlygrabs MAY:Richpussy.Veryclean.
hisclosestlegwithbotharmsandholdstightburyingher

headbetweenhisknees.
)
Imnotgonnaleave.Dont
EDDIE:Yeah,sure.
worry.Imnotgonnaleave.Imstayinrighthere.I

alreadytoldyathat.
(
Shesqueezestightertohisleg,he MAY:Youknowitstrue.
juststandsthere,strokesherheadsoftly.)
May?Letgo,

okay?Honey?Illputyoubackinbed.Okay?
(
She
EDDIE:Icametoseeyouifyouwereallright.
grabshisotherlegandholdsontighttoboth.)
Comeon.

Illputyouinbedandmakeyousomehotteaor
MAY:Idontneedyou!
somethin.Youwantsometea?
(
Sheshakesherhead
violently,keepsholdingon.
)
Withlemon?Some
EDDIE:Okay.
(turnstogo,collectshisgloveand
Ovaltine?May,yougottaletgoofmenow,okay?
buckingstrap)
Fine.
(
Pause,thenshepusheshimawayandreturnstoher

originalposition.
)
Nowjustlaybackandtrytorelax.
MAY:Dontgo!
(
Hestartstotrytopushherbackgentlyonthebedashe

pullsbacktheblankets.Sheeruptsfuriously,leapingoff
EDDIE:Imgoin.
bedandlashingoutathimwithherfists.Hebacksoff.
Shereturnstobedandstaresathimwildeyedandangry,
faceshimsquarely.
)

(Heexitsstageleftdoor,slammingitbehindhimthedoor
booms.)

herhead.)

MAY:
(agonizedscream)
Dontgo!!!

MAY:No!

EDDIE:Well,whatdoyouwantthen?

MAY:Yousmell.

EDDIE:Ismell.

MAY:Youdo.

EDDIE:Ibeendrivinfordays.

MAY:Yourfingerssmell.

EDDIE:WhatamIgonnado?Huh?WhatamI
supposedtodo?

EDDIE:
(
afterpause
)
Youwantmetogo?
(Sheshakes

(Shegrabspillow,clutchingittoherchestthenthrows
herselffacedownonbed,moaningandmovingfromone
endofthebedtotheotheronherelbowsandknees.
EDDIEisheardreturningtostageleftdooroutside.She
leapsoffbedclutchingpillow,standsupstagerightofbed,
facingstageleftdoor.EDDIEentersstageleftdoor,
bangingitbehindhim.Hesleftthegloveandbucking
strapoffstage.Theystandtherefacingeachotherfora
second.Hemakesamovetowardher.MAYretreatsto
extremeupstagerightcornerofroomclutchingpillowto
herchest.EDDIEstaysagainstleftwall,facingher.)

FOOL FOR LOVE

By SAM SHEPARD

MAY:Youknow.

EDDIE:What.

MAY:Youregonnaeraseme.

EDDIE:Whatreyoutalkinabout?

MAY:Youreeithergonnaerasemeorhaveme
erased.

EDDIE:WhywouldIwantthat?Areyoukidding?

MAY:BecauseImintheway.

EDDIE:Dontbestupid.

MAY:Imsmarterthanyouareandyouknowit.Ican
smellyourthoughtsbeforeyoueventhinkem.

(EDDIEmovesalongwalltoupstageleftcorner.MAY
holdshergroundinoppositecorner.)

EDDIE:May,Imtryintotakecareofyou.Allright?

MAY:No,yourenot.Yourejustguilty.Gutlessand
guilty.

EDDIE:Great.

(Hemovesdownlefttotable,stickingclosetowall.)
(Pause)

Twoseparateknives.Oneforherandoneforyou.
(Sheslamswallwithherelbow.Wallresonates.)
Sothe
blooddoesntmix.Imgonnatortureherfirstthough.
Notyou.Imjustgonnaletyouhaveit.Probablyin
themidstofakiss.Rightwhenyouthinkeverythings
beenhealedup.Rightinthemomentwhenyoure
sureyouvegotmebuffaloed.Thatswhenyoulldie.

(Shearrivesextremedownrightattheverylimitsofthe
set.EDDIEintheextremeupleftcorner.Pause)

EDDIE:YouknowhowmanymilesIwentouttamy
wayjusttocomehereandseeyou?Yougotany
idea?

MAY:Nobodyaskedyoutocome.

EDDIE:Twothousand,fourhundredandeighty.

MAY:Yeah?Wherewereyou,Katmanduor
something?

EDDIE:Twothousand,fourhundredandeighty
miles.

MAY:Sowhat!

(Hedropshishead,staresatfloor.Pause.Shestaresat
him.Hebeginstomoveslowlydownleft,stickingcloseto
wallashespeaks.)

EDDIE:Imissedyou.Idid.Imissedyoumorethan

anythingIevermissedinmywholelife.Ikeptthinkin
MAY:
(quietly,stayingincorner)
Imgonnakillherya
aboutyouthewholetimeIwasdriving.Keptseeing
know.
you.Sometimesjustapartofyou.

EDDIE:Who?
MAY:Whichpart?

MAY:Who.
EDDIE:Yourneck.

EDDIE:Donttalklikethat.
MAY:Myneck?

(MAYslowlybeginstomovedownstagerightasEDDIE
EDDIE:Yeah.
simultaneouslymovesupleft.Bothofthempressthe

wallsasthemove)
MAY:Youmissedmyneck?

MAY:Iam.ImgonnakillherandthenImgonnakill

you.Systematically.Withsharpknives.
2

FOOL FOR LOVE

By SAM SHEPARD

EDDIE:Imissedallofyoubutyourneckkept
comingupforsomereason.Ikeptcryingaboutyour
neck.

MAY:Crying?

EDDIE:
(Hestopsbystageleftdoor.Shestaysdown
right.)
Yeah.Weeping.Likealittlebaby.
Uncontrollable.Itwouldjuststartupandstopand
thenstartupalloveragain.Formiles.Icouldntstop
it.Carswouldpassmeontheroad.Peoplewould
stareatme.Myfacewasalltwistedup.Icouldnt
stopmyface.

MAY:Wasthisbeforeorafteryourlittleflingwiththe
Countess?

EDDIE:
(Hebangshisheadintowall.Wallbooms.)
TherewasntanyflingwithanyCountess!

MAY:Yourealiar.

EDDIE:Itookherouttodinneronce,okay?

MAY:Ha!

EDDIE:Immovinit.Igotapieceofgroundupin
Wyoming.

MAY:Wyoming?Areyoucrazy?Imnotmovingto
Wyoming.Whatsupthere?MarlboroMen?

EDDIE:Youcantstayhere.

MAY:Whynot?Igotajob.Imaregularcitizenhere
now.

EDDIE:Yougotajob?

MAY:
(Shemovesbackdowntoheadofbed)Y
eah.
Whatdyouthink,Iwashelpless?

EDDIE:No.Imeanitsbeenalongtimesinceyou
hadajob.

MAY:Imacook.

EDDIE:Acook?Youcantevenflipanegg,can
you?

MAY:Imnottalkintoyouanymore!

(Shemovesupstagerightwall.)

(Sheturnsawayfromhim,runsintobathroom,slamsdoor
behindher.EDDIEgoesafterher,triesdoorbutshes
lockedit.)

EDDIE:Twice.

MAY:Youwerebumpingheronaregularbasis!
Dontgimmethatshit.

EDDIE:Youcanbelievewhateveryouwant.

MAY:
(Shestopsbybathroomdoor,oppositeEDDIE.)
Ill
believethetruth!Itslessconfusing.

(Pause)

EDDIE:Imtakinyouback,May.

(Shetossespillowonbedandmovestoupstageright
corner.)

MAY:Imnotgoingbacktothatidiottrailerifthats
whatyouthink.

EDDIE:
(Atbathroomdoor)
May,Igoteverything
workedout.Ibeenthinkinaboutthisforweeks.Im
gonnamovethetrailer.Buildalittlepipecorralto
keepthehorses.Haveabigvegetablegarden.
Somechickensmaybe.

MAY:
(Unseen,behindbathroomdoor)
Ihatechickens!
Ihatehorses!Ihateallthatshit!Youknowthat.You
gotmeconfusedwithsomebodyelse.Youkeep
cominupherewiththissamecountrydreamlifewith
chickensandvegetablesandIcantstandanyofit.It
makesmepuketoeventhinkaboutit.

EDDIE:(EDDIEhascrossedstageleftduringthis,
stopsattable.)Youllgetusedtoit.

FOOL FOR LOVE

By SAM SHEPARD

MAY:
(Entersfrombathroom)
Youreunbelievable!

(Sheslamsbathroomdoor,crossesupstagetowindow.)

EDDIE:Imnotlettingoofyouthistime,May.

(Hesitsinchairupstageoftable.)

MAY:Youneverhadaholdofmetobeginwith.
(Pause)
Howmanytimeshaveyoudonethistome?

EDDIE:What.

MAY:Suckeredmeintosomedumblittlefantasyand
thendroppedmelikeahotrock.Howmanytimes
hasthathappened?

EDDIE:Itsnofantasy.

MAY:Itsallfantasy.

EDDIE:AndIneverdroppedyoueither.

MAY:No,youjustdisappeared!

EDDIE:ImherenowarentI?

MAY:Well,praiseJesusGod!

EDDIE:Imgonnatakecareofyou,May.Iam.Im
gonnastickwithyounomatterwhat.Ipromise.

MAY:Getoutahere.

(Pause)

EDDIE:Whatdyouhavetogoandrunforanyway.

MAY:Runoff?Me?

EDDIE:Yeah.Whycouldntyoujuststayput.You
knewIwascominbacktogetyou.

MAY:(
Crossingdowntoheadofbed)
Whatdoyou
thinkitslikesittininatintrailerforweeksonend
withthewindrippingthroughit?Waitinaroundfor
theButanetoarrive.Hikingdowntothelaundromat

Intherain.Doyouthinkthatsthrillingorsomethin?

EDDIE:
(stillsitting)
Iboughtyouallthosemagazines.

MAY:Whatmagazines?

EDDIE:Iboughtyouawholestackofthosefashion
magazinesbeforeIleft.Ithoughtyoulikedthose.
ThoseFrenchkind.

MAY:Yeah,Iespeciallylikedtheonewiththe
Countessonthecover.Thatwasrealcute.

(Pause)

EDDIE:Allright.

(Hestands)

MAY:Allright,what.

(Heturnstogooutstageleftdoor.)

MAY:Whereareyougoing?

EDDIE:Justtogetmystuffoutathetruck.Illbe
rightback.

MAY:Whatreyoumovininnoworsomething?

EDDIE:Well,IthoughtIdspendthenightifthats
okay.

MAY:Areyoukidding?

EDDIE:
(opensdoor)
ThenIlljustleave,Iguess.

MAY:
(shestands)
Wait.

(Heclosesdoor.Theystandtherefacingeachotherfora
while.Shecrossesslowlytohim.Shestops.Hetakesa
fewstepstowardher.Stops.Theybothmovecloser.
Stop.Pauseastheylookateachother.Theyembrace.
Long,tenderkiss.Theyareverysoftwitheachother.She
pullsawayfromhimslightly.Smiles.Shelookshim
straightintheeyes,thensuddenlykneeshiminthegroin
withtremendousforce.EDDIEdoublesoveranddrops
likearock.Shestandsoverhim.Pause.)

FOOL FOR LOVE

By SAM SHEPARD

MAY:Youcantakeit,right.Youreastuntman.

(Sheexitsintobathroom,stageright,slamsthedoor
behindher.Thedoorisamplifiedwithmicrophonesanda
bassdrumhiddenintheframesothateachtimeanactor
slamsit,thedoorboomsloudandlong.Sameistruefor
thestageleftdoor.EDDIEremainsonthefloorholdinghis
stomachinpain.Stagelightsdroptoholdtheirintensityas
aspotrisessoftlyonTHEOLDMAN.Hespeaksdirectly
toEDDIE.)