Thank you for purchasing Accent Your Character.

We are certain it will

bring more life to your characters for whatever your needs. This CD is
designed to give you an introduction to the dialect and inspire you to put
some kick in your character. Paul Meier takes a humorous and entertaining
approach, reacting to a wide range of encounters with a variety of characters.
Use this document while you listen to the CD, or consult it afterwards.

28.

Be sure to look for our other audio products at www.pulpgamer.com. For

more in-depth dialect training visit www.paulmeier.com. You may also find
real-life speakers of this dialect at Paul's online archive of dialects and
accents, the International Dialects of English Archive (IDEA), at
http://web.ku.edu/idea/ .

32.
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34.
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Encounters
36.
The following are the encounters or scenarios explored on this track.
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
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You taste fruit for the first time in months.

You have suddenly been blinded and must instruct someone on
how to pick a lock.
You are describing a murder you witnessed to the guards.
You have witnessed the future and must warn everyone in town.
You run into town to warn everyone of the coming war band of
orcs and trolls.
You have been chosen to preside over a court case, though you
were only traveling through.
You aren't easily convinced that a tattoo "doesn't hurt".
Your spouse is startled to discover a new tattoo of a local street
gang on your arm.
You have an accident while learning to use a new magic wand.
You are hurriedly teaching some very young boys how to load a
cannon.
You need to recruit 10 villagers to add to your militia.
Your catch your squire sleeping in the stable instead of tending to
the horses.
You catch your daughter sneaking out of the house.
You find out it is your best friend your daughter is sneaking out to
meet.
You ride into town to find that everyone is missing except one
dog that has started following you around.
You are too tired to travel any further, and attempt to convince
your companions to stop here for the night.
You spread tales of the haunted wood to some local children.
Your fame comes with a curse; the local children will not leave
you alone.
You plant some rumors around the town about yourself in an
attempt to scare anyone from picking a fight with you.
You rally the army before battle.
You are shopping for the best cooks in the region to cater your
party.
A knock at the door turns out to be a long lost friend.
Your friend overstays his welcome and it is time to say
something.
It was year ago when you didn't get along, but you must ask now
for a favor from them. (perhaps a father, brother, or and old boss)
You are picking out a dress for the big ball in the kings court.
A brawl breaks out and your dress gets torn.
You are a lady forced to prove your worthiness in battle to your
companions.

You are surprised to have received an invitation for a social with a

princess.
You are trying to lure a young warrior to follow you upstairs.
You are a bar wench forced to head off strong advances from bar
patrons.
You stress the importance of the extra clothes your henchman is
lugging around for you.
Your servants insist on complaining and you have had enough.
You are a maid and treated very poorly; you finally decide to
confront your master.
Your brother was chosen over you for work you know you are
more capable of doing.
You have been set up on a blind date, and he turns out to be one
of the ugliest men you have ever seen.
You get an opportunity to meet the prince so you must say
something that will impress him.

Catch-phrases
Here are some of the slang, catch-phrases, insults, and idioms that Paul
demonstrates:
Alans or Alan Wickers: knickers; as in keep your alans on.
Arse: backside
Arseways: "I did it all arseways" = I made a complete mess of it!
Arthurs: a pint of Guinness; as in Arthur Guinness the founder.
Aul Man or Fella: father
Aul Wan: mother
Babby: baby
Bang on: perfectly correct
Banjaxed: broken, no good
Battle cruiser: the pub; rhymes with boozer
Beyant: beyond or over there
Black Mariah: police van - Paddy wagon
Black Stuff: Guinness
Blarney: nonsense
Blather: talk
Boozer: pub
Cacks: trousers - 'I was laughing me cacks off.
Cheek: Disrespect
Cheesed off: angry
Chipper: fish and chip shop
Chiseller: child
Chucker-out: bouncer
Dickey Dazzler: an over-dressed man
Do a Bunk/Flit: sneak off, usually to avoid paying the rent
Dressed to the nines: in your Sunday best
Eat the head off: attack verbally
Gawk: stare
Gobsmacked: surprised
Hoor: an all-purpose word. Someone you disapprove of can be 'a right old
hoor'
I've a throat on me: I'm thirsty
Lady Muck: a stuck-up woman
Off me/your face: high on drugs or alcohol
Plastic Paddy: someone of Irish descent who has all the clichs of Irishness
Poteen: illegal spirits
Praities: potatoes
Ructions: arguing or commotion
Shenanagans: horse-play
Thick: stupid (thick as a ditch, thick as a brick, thick as a (short) plank)
Vexed: upset
And as he explores the above scenarios and encounters, these are some of the
words and phrases you hear him use:
I been without real food for month.
Listen for the tumblers.
He cut his throat and threw him out the window.
Warn everyone in town.
Its the end of the world.
Down to the boozer to get off your face.
Get down. Hide.
Are you thick, missus.
Im no lawyer, Im no judge. I refuse.
Do you think Im thick?
I was off me face. Id had fourteen arthurs.
Sure I wish Id never seen the thing.
Now you young chiselers. Put the powder in first.
Free arthurs for the whole lot of youse.
Young lazy good for nothing. Get your arse down to the stable.
Well talk in the morning.
Ill cut your throat. Ill have your arse.
Has there been a spell?
Sure Ive a throat on me. Stop at this shebeen and get some
poteen.
Theres an ogre that lives in that wood. And the wee folksll get
you. Theres a haint.
Yes I slew the dragon. I biled my tay with his fiery breath. You

wee chiselers run off home to the auld wan.

I cant abide your blather.
I once killed six men in a single blow.
To prevent anyone from shittin their alans, I advise em to stay
away from me.
Lets throw the British out of our country.
I gonna throw a feast. Humming birds wings. Pate de foie gras.
Whole roast ox.
Show me your finest cuisine.
Whatre you doin knockin at my door at this time onight?
Bejaysus its been thirty years.
I thought you were dead.
Come on in the house out o that filthy weather, and set your arse
down.
But Seamus, for pitys sake, youve been under my roof for three
years now.
Its time for you to go.
Now I know we didnt part on the best of terms.
Burned our bridges.
What I said was a load o blarney, just blather; I was talkin out
me arse.
You got me right vexed.
So the thing is, I m down on me luck.
For auld times sake.
Bloods thicker than water.
I cant meet the prince in that auld thing.
And me hair looks like a whin-bush.
I could be the maiden in all the kingdom that catches his eye.
Would you look at this?
Im dressed up to the nines.
And youre off yer face.
Look at me now; me arse hangin out in the palace.
Who do you think you are? Lady Muck?
I know you Pegeen Mike, so dont you come your blather wi me.
I can wield a two-handed broad sword with the best of them.
Ill bring back his head.
Well, amnt I the one?
And now Im to go to the palace.
Thick as two planks.
By George, Ive got it.
Dont you have lovely big muscles?
I killed Sir Ethelred in a battle with my broad sword.
So follow me young fella, and Ill show you what Im made of.
Save the big talk for yer wives.
Stop wit yer blarney, or Ill have to trow you out meself.
Im a woman first, and a warrior second.
All I can say is, you dont understand the meaning of real power.
And a finely-dressed woman has real power.
Thats it. Youre fired. The lot o youse.
Poor ignorant Irish, thats what you think, isnt it?
Im not one of the beasts in your stable.
Either you treat me with respect or we must part company my
lord.
What kind of eejit (idiot) are you?
I have a brain in my head.
Youve got more money than sense.
Sinead, I have to talk to you.
And borin. Hell bore the arse off ya.
Regaled me all night with tales of his darts prowess.
Couldnt stop talkin about his mother.
Hes a midget, you eejit.
To meet the Prince of Wales! I just love whales! The most
beautiful of all Gods creatures.

Dialect features

Comma Gets a Cure:

A Diagnostic Passage for Dialect and Accent Study
by Jill McCullough & Barbara Somerville
Edited by Douglas N. Honorof
Incorporating the standard lexical set words of J.C. Wells1

Pay attention to the vowels and consonants in the following sets of words:
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.
11.
12.
13.
14.
15.
16.
17.
18.
19.
20.

Strut, country, come,

Tap cap, cab, arrow, Paris
Boss, sausage, wash, horrify
Thought, call, awful
Start scarf, nurse, firm, mirror
Bath, brass, ask
Goat going, home, dont, brooch
Tape, babe, name
Price, time, Friday, eiderdown
Mouth, out loud, count, flower
Music, tomb, fruit, beautiful
Ill, small, meself, almost
When, which, why, whither
Thought, think, threw
Tight, Peter, talker, cape, park, port
Runnin, drownin
Any, anywhere
Yella, winda, fella
My (me)
Filum

Well, here's a story for you: Sarah Perry was a veterinary nurse
who had been working daily at an old zoo in a deserted district of the
territory, so she was very happY to start a new job at a superb private
practice in North Square near the Duke Street Tower. That area was much
nearer for her and more to her liking. Even so, on her first morning, she felt
stressed. She ate a bowl of porridge, checked herself in the mirror and
washed her face in a hurry. Then she put on a plain yellow dress and a fleece
jacket, picked up her kit and headed for work. When she got there, there was
a woman with a goose waiting for her. The woman gave Sarah an official
lettER from the vet. The letter implied that the animal could be suffering
from a rare form of foot and mouth disease, which was surprising, because
normally you would only expect to see it in a dog or a goat. Sarah was
sentimental, so this made her feel sorry for the beautiful bird.
Before long, that itchy goose began to strut around the office like
a lunatic, which made an unsanitary mess. The goose's owner, Mary
Harrison, kept calling, "CommA, Comma," which Sarah thought was an odd
choice for a name. Comma was strong and huge, so it would take some
force to trap her, but Sarah had a different idea. First, she tried gently
stroking the goose's lower back with her palm, then singing a tune to her.
Finally, she administered ether. Her efforts were not futile. In no time, the
goose began to tire, so Sarah was able to hold onto Comma and give her a
relaxing bath.
Once Sarah had managed to bathe the goose, she wiped her off
with a cloth and laid her on her right side. Then Sarah confirmed the vets
diagnosis. Almost immediately, she remembered an effective treatment that
required her to measure out a lot of medicine. Sarah warned that this course
of treatment might be expensiveeither five or six times the cost of
penicillin. I cant imagine paying so much, but Mrs. Harrisona millionaire
lawyerthought it was a fair price for a cure.
Comma Gets a Cure and derivative works may be used freely for any
purpose without special permission, provided the present sentence and the
following copyright notification accompany the passage in print, if
reproduced in print, and in audio format in the case of a sound recording:
Copyright 2000 Douglas N. Honorof, Jill McCullough & Barbara Somerville.
All rights reserved.

A full treatment of standard lexical sets will be found in

Accents and Dialects of English 1: An Introduction, by
J.C. Wells, published by Cambridge University Press.