Amirah Arafat

English 101 MWF (EXPLANATION AT THE END!)

The Road Not Taken
The nonfiction narrative, The Other Wes Moore, focuses on the lives of two children, one
grew up to become an Oxford accomplished graduate while the other grew up to become a
convicted felon in jail for life: two children, identical names, yet differing fates. Wes Moore is
the author of the narrative, son of Wes and Joy, also known as Lola, and brother to Nikki and
Shani. He struggles with the death of his father and begins to descend in life but Lola puts a stop
to that immediately by sending him to military school. He ends up excelling in a structured
environment and ends up going to Oxford and graduating as an accomplished member of society.
The other Wes is the son of Bernard and Mary, and brother to Antonio (Tony). By following in
his brothers footsteps, Wes ends up on the streets selling drugs. The climax of his life story was
robbing a jewelry store and assisting in the murder of a police officer. As a result, he was
sentenced to life in prison. In life, our experiences and memories, good or bad, forever alter our
outlook towards their lives and futures. We, humans, are nothing but a mind over matter. Several
external forces had a lasting effect on the other Wes, such as lacking a proper moral
foundation, role model, and environment in which to grow up, resulting in the plummeting and
downwards descent of his future.
A strong moral foundation is essential in a childs life, but when the environment the
child is residing in is as volatile, unstable, and unpredictable as Baltimore City, a good
foundation is indispensable. In The Other Wes Moore readers are able to analyze two extremely
different parenting styles. This leads to the belief that parental influence plays an essential role in

an individuals success and future. Lola, the authors mother, was shown disciplining Wes in one
of the first scene and was criticized for her harsh ways, but by the end of the book she is praised
for her style. Readers start to question if the two drastic variances in futures are due to parenting.
As a parent Mary should face Wes issues head on, yet she repeatedly ignores the signs of Wes
misbehavior, beelined to his mothers room, and started to look through her drawers and
closets for changeHis mother would notice the missing bills, but he could steal coins with no
worries (Moore 30). Due to her leniency on Wes, he did not get disciplined for doing bad
things, such as stealing. She kept permitting him to get away with smaller things and soon, those
small things grew bigger and bigger.
The absence of a father figure is something both Wesses struggle with. The other Wes
automatically looks up to the next prominent male figure in his life, Tony. Even from a young
age, readers see Wes praise Tony, but there is still an opening that only a father can fill. Francis
Bambico ran a study with the Centre for Addiction and Mental Health on the impact of the
absence of a father mentally, emotionally, and psychically. They showed that The brains of the
fatherless mice developed differently those mice raised without a father displayed signs of
abnormal social interactions and were far more aggressive than mice raised with both parents
(Spenser). They concluded that the majority of fatherless children display an increased risk for
deviant behavior, which correlates with Wes actions in the book such as skipping school,
defying his mother, and responding violently to situations (Spenser).
Parents and guardians aim to raise a child in the finest environment possible; however,
destitute families automatically get placed in inferior environments while affluent families thrive
in their superior environments. This concept is the focal point of The Other Wes Moore. A childs
environment does not only mean his/her interactions and experiences in public, it can also mean

their family environment. According to research done by Brookings, children born to unmarried
mothers face more instability in family structure and that this instability results in worse
outcomes for the child (Sawhill). Overall Wes couldnt have been feeling safe in his unstable
lifestyle, he may have been coerced into drugs thinking that drugs would get him of their poor
neighborhood. This mentality can sometimes lead them to do desperate things. We see this
briefly with the other Moore twice in the narrative, the beginning and the end. In the beginning
of the book Moore sells drugs and buys new clothes, shoes, and other materialistic desires of his.
He relishes in the fact that he is able to be self-sufficient at such a young age. Then as we near
the conclusion of the story, he turns back to drugs in a desperate mood due to the frustration of
not being able to provide for his four kids and their mothers.
The Other Wes Moore narrative chronicles each stage of these two boys lives as they
come across similar moments of decision revealing the exact moment that leads to their
astonishing and contrasting destinies. In general, ones experiences and memories, good or bad,
alter his/her outlook towards their lives and futures. Several external forces had a lasting effect
on the other Wes, lacking a proper moral foundation, role model, and environment in which to
grow up, resulting in the plummeting and downwards descent of his future.
Works Cited
Moore, Wes. The Other Wes Moore. New York. Spiegel & Grau. Trade Publishers. 2010. Print
Sawhill, Isabel V. Brookings. The Brookings Institution. 2014. Web. 18 Oct. 2015
Spencer, Ben. Daily Mail Science & Tech. Associated Newspapers Ltd. 2013. Web. 18 Oct.
2015

IN DEPTH CORRECTIONS
Wes Moore is the author of the narrative, son of Wes and Joy (Lola), and brother to Nikki and
Shani.
Wes Moore is the author of the narrative, son of Wes and Joy, also known as Lola, and brother to
Nikki and Shani.
I revised this because as a reader I would be confused as to who Lola is so I clarify that
Lola is just another name for Joy.
The climax of his life story was robbing a jewelry store and assisting in the murder of a police
officer, as a result he was sentenced to life in prison.
The climax of his life story was robbing a jewelry store and assisting in the murder of a police
officer; as a result, he was sentenced to life in prison.
I previously had a comma splice in this sentence. A comma splice is the use of a comma to
join two independent clauses, because I combined these two phrases incorrectly I
substituted the comma with a semicolon.
In life, our experiences and memories, good or bad, forever alter our outlook towards their lives
and futures, we are nothing but a mind over matter.
In life, our experiences and memories, good or bad, forever alter our outlook towards their lives
and futures. We, humans, are nothing but a mind over matter.
I separated these two phrases and made them two independent sentences because I
previously had a comma splice in this sentence. A comma splice is the use of a comma to
join two independent clauses, because I combined these two phrases incorrectly I used a
period instead.
In The Other Wes Moore readers are able to analyze two extremely different parenting styles, this
leads to the belief that parental influence plays an essential role in an individuals success and
future.
In The Other Wes Moore readers are able to analyze two extremely different parenting styles.
This leads to the belief that parental influence plays an essential role in an individuals success
and future.
The error here was that I had placed a comma to join two independent clauses. I fixed this
mistake by simply separating these sentences with a period.
Lola, the authors mother, was shown disciplining Wes in one of the first scene and was criticized
for her harsh ways, but by the end of the book she is praised for her style, readers start to
question if the two drastic variances in futures is due to parenting.
Lola, the authors mother, was shown disciplining Wes in one of the first scene and was criticized
for her harsh ways, but by the end of the book she is praised for her style. Readers start to
question if the two drastic variances in futures are due to parenting.

I have two errors in this sentence.yikes! I corrected the comma splice by separating the
sentences and corrected the s/v agreement by changing is to are because future is plural.
Due to her leniency on Wes, he did not get disciplined for doing bad things, such as stealing, she
kept permitting him to get away with smaller things and soon, those small things grew bigger
and bigger.
Due to her leniency on Wes, he did not get disciplined for doing bad things, such as stealing. She
kept permitting him to get away with smaller things and soon, those small things grew bigger
and bigger.
In order to correct this mistake I just have to separate the sentences.
The absence of a father figure is something both Wes struggle with, the other Wes
automatically looks up to the next prominent male figure in his life, Tony.
The absence of a father figure is something both Wesses struggle with. The other Wes
automatically looks up to the next prominent male figure in his life, Tony.
This error is a simple fix, the plural of Wes is not Wes that is possessive. The correct plural
is Wesses. Next I separated the sentence to eliminate the comma splice.
Francis Bambicoemotionally, and psychically, they showed...both parents (Daily Mail).
Francis Bambico emotionally, and psychically. They showed both parents (Spenser).
I fixed two things in this sentence: the comma splice by separating the sentences and the
citation by putting the authors last name.
They concluded situations (Daily Mail).
They concluded situations (Spenser).
I fixed the citation by putting the authors last name Spenser in the parenthetical not Daily
Mail.
Parents and guardians aim to raise a child in the finest environment possible, destitute
families automatically get placed in inferior environments while affluent families thrive in their
superior environments, this concept is the focal point of The Other Wes Moore.
Parents and guardians aim to raise a child in the finest environment possible; however,
destitute families automatically get placed in inferior environments while affluent families thrive
in their superior environments. This concept is the focal point of The Other Wes Moore.
I fixed both errors I this sentence. The first error was not exactly an error it was a
suggestion but I agreed with the suggestion so I changed it. Second, the comma splice is
gone and the comma was replaced by a period.
A childs environment does not only mean their interactions and experiences in public, it
can also mean their family environment.
A childs environment does not only mean his/her interactions and experiences in public,
it can also mean their family environment.

This error was a pronoun/antecedent error. All I did was get the pronoun to match with the
singular word, child
According to research done by Brookings, children born to unmarried mothers face
more instability in family structure and that this instability results in worse outcomes for the
child (Brookings).
According to research done by Brookings, children born to unmarried mothers face
more instability in family structure and that this instability results in worse outcomes for the
child (Sawhill).
I had the wrong author in the parenthetical.
This mentality can sometimes leads them to do desperate things, we see this briefly with
the other Moore twice in the narrative, the beginning and the end.
This mentality can sometimes lead them to do desperate things. We see this briefly with
the other Moore twice in the narrative, the beginning and the end.
Subject/ Verb agreement dictates that the subject and verb must agree and in order to do
that leads must change to lead. To correct the comma splice all I have to do is separate the
sentences.
The Other Wes Moore exact moment that lead to their astonishing and contrasting
destinies.
The Other Wes Moore exact moment that leads to their astonishing and contrasting
destinies.
As I said previously, Subject/ Verb agreement dictates that the subject and verb must agree
and in order to do that lead must change to leads.
In general, ones experiences and memories, good or bad, alter their outlook towards their
lives and futures.
In general, ones experiences and memories, good or bad, alter his/her outlook towards their
lives and futures.
In order to correct his I must make the pronoun his/her to match with the one I
previously put in order for the sentence to agree grammatically.
Sawhill, Isabel V. Brookings. The Brookings Institution. 2014. Web. 18 Oct. 2015
Sawhill, Isabel V. Brookings. The Brookings Institution. 2014. Web. 18 Oct. 2015
Brookings is the title and I forgot to italicize it correctly therefore it doesnt meet MLA
citation standards.
In addition to these two mistakes on the Work Cited page I forgot to put them in
alphabetical order. Only one is misplaced and that is Moore, Sawhill.