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Danielle Gailey
Nathan E. Cole
English 2010
16 December 2015

Course Reflection

There were nine course objectives that we as an English 2010 class were supposed to
accomplish. I have found that by taking this class that many, if not all, of these objectives have
been completed. Some of the accomplished objectives I have noticed the most by taking this
class was being able to write in multiple genres, adapting style and design for a given writing
situation (same topic for multiple papers), revising and editing my documents. I wrote in
multiple genres by choosing one topic and writing about the same thing in three different types
of writing. Before this class I didnt understand the difference between many of the different
writing genres so it was very helpful. Once I understood the differences between the different
genres of writing I was able to adapt style and write according to that way of writing. We also
many chances to revise our papers the first revision process was bringing in a rough draft and
having a peer review your paper, then you would revise the paper. You then would turn in the
final copy to the teacher who would then give you a grade and feedback on how to make it better.
You then make you final revisions to turn in the papers for the final portfolio. With these
revisions we highlighted what we changed and explained what and why we changed it. It was
time consuming but very helpful.
I chose to write about the same topic in all four of my writing assignments. The topic I
chose to write on was how technology, specifically hand held devices, are affecting society
today. This is a problem that we see all around us as people are so attached to their phone and

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dont always know the appropriate time and place to use them. The thing that inspired me to
write on this top was remembering back to the days before cell phones. I loved hanging out with
a group of friends and being able to come up with something fun and creative to do together now
in many cases when you hang out with friends it consists of sitting next to each other but you are
each in your own world on your phone instead of having real life interactions with the people
they are with. You can see many other negative effects that technology has on society today if
you just look around. It was cool being able to use three different writing styles and a PSA to get
my point across.
My teacher was very helpful in writing notes on what to fix to make the final portfolio
draft even better. It was nice being able to submit an electronic copy and still have my teachers
notes in the side bar of the word document. My classmates also gave me great advice on my
rough draft in order to make my final draft better. It is always nice to have someone read over it
and catch the little mistakes that you missed and give advice on how to fix it.
I also peer reviewed some of my classmates papers. I looked for any grammatical errors
and sentences that didnt make sense and gave my best advice on how to make their paper better.
Below are the revisions that I made in each of my papers to make my final Portfolio. In
order to make these revisions I read through the paper again and corrected all of the things that
my teacher had noted. I then went through and tried to make each sentence the best I could.
Revision A corrections: I changed the header in order for it to be in MLA format my last
name needed to be before the page number. I centered the title instead of having it be with the
header information so it was in proper MLA format. I then explain more about the Ziosk and
what restaurants it is used at. I changed the fragment sentence so it made more sense and I also
added air quotes. I described more about who the quote came from and added another quote from

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him that applied. Got rid of the usage of the word you because it is using two pronouns when I
refer to myself and myself with others. Emphasize that it is the attachment to our phones that
makes us act like robots. I changed the word sights to sites because that is the right form in this
situation. Instead of using the word others I used the term social media friends to explain who I
was talking about and I put it in air quotes since many people have Facebook friends who are
strictly just followers on a cite, not someone you would interact with outside of the technological
world. I reworded the sentence talking about how people only post what they want on social
media. I changed the wording from our cell phone to your cell phone since we obviously dont
share the same phone, I also expanded on what some of the things people do on their phone
when they spend a lot of time on it. Added a comma and also changed the wording a little. I put
the title to the video above it so I could later refer to it in my writing. Instead of stating the part
about children not playing at the park as much as a question I decided to make it a statement.
Titled the graph Figure 1, so I could refer to it in my text. Gave the alternate to gps, if you dont
have a gps you would need to use a map and also learn how to read it. I added the title figure to
over the second graph I show in my paper and reference it in my writing. I put a comma after the
words in conclusion. I expanded on a specific example on what interactions you could miss
out on if you are constantly looking down at your phone. On my Works Cited page I had to
center the title and capitalize the C. I realized the first source (author name DeLoatch), the fourth
source (author name Sheldon) and the seventh source (author name Zorzini) I had on my Works
Cited page was one that I had read but didnt use any information from that article, so I deleted it
from my Works Cited.
Revision B corrections: I centered the title instead of having it be part of the header
information. Changed our lives to peoples lives since the word our is a 1st person plural word

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and I was writing a 3rd person report. Moved the period after my author citation in parenthesis.
Instead of saying studies have shown I refer to the video in which I got the information. I
changed the sentence so it didnt have the term we in it since reports are supposed to be in 3rd
person. I emphasized that he came up with the phrase anti social media. I deleted the sentence
that talked about why some people prefer texting over calling because I realized that doesnt
apply to everyone, it was more from my point of view which is not recommended in reports.
After I deleted that I then combined the two paragraphs into one. I added the story of my parents
working with an autistic boy who is unable to communicate but can work an iPad. I took out the
words in conclusion. I had to reformat the work cited page by putting the title in the middle of
the page and make it double spaced. I also looked up many sources to help form my opinion but
didnt quote them in my paper. I took out one of the sources from the work cited because I did
not use the information in this paper. Changed the name of YouTube video speech author Richard
Williams to his YouTube stage name Prince Ea on the work cited page.
I was able to get advice from my teacher and also my peers on how to improve my paper.
My peers reviewed my rough draft and gave me advice on how to make it better for my final
draft and then my teacher reviewed my final draft so I could later revise it and make it better for
my final portfolio. How?
Revision C: Since this is the final paper that we are supposed to attach to our ePortfolio,
this was the document I changed the most. Instead of just changing the little surface errors I went
through and made it the best I could by re-wording and reorganizing many thing. I changed the
wording in the first paragraph because I realized that I dragged the first sentence on, I made it
three sentences instead of one, then made a new paragraph. I changed some formatting since the
pages and pictures were off. I could not find the name of the author that I got the epidemic idea

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from so I cited the title of the article. Moved the period in the quotation after the citation. Added
a comma after bad. Emphasize that the phone is used by nearly every age and compare old phone
to new and how new this attachment can entangle you and take over your life if you let it. Much
of my editing is just rewording the sentences or rearranging them so they sound better. I
emphasize that cell phones have so much helpful information that we can easily access but along
with that it also has some negative side effects. I made sure to cite who I got the statistics from. I
also labeled the graph as Figure 1 so I can refer to it in my writing. Initially when I was listing
the negative side effects I listed it so addiction came first and it being a distraction came last, but
I changed it to line up with the order of cons in figure 1 and listed addiction last since I found the
research from another source. I talk about how social interactions are becoming more of an
option than a necessity because now days are so attached to their phone that is becoming socially
acceptable to be on your phone instead of interacting with those around you and some purposely
get on their phone to avoid social interactions. I emphasize on how spending too much time on
your phone can damage close relationships. I added a colon after situations because I list
multiple examples things that your phone distracts you from. Added the sentence about life or
death because it really makes it stick out and helps the reader realize that it is a serious problem
to text and drive. I change the sentence about texting and driving to show how dangerous it is I
also delete the part where I talked about listening to something important because that was
random and didnt fit in with texting and driving. Came up with a better introduction paragraph
to the new topic of addiction and compare phone use to drugs. I Explain how its not just
physical health problems of drugs that are concerning it is also the addiction to drugs which is
what phones can be compared to. I introduced Dr. David Greenfield as one of my sources and
tell who he is, why he is a creditable source. I wrote the sentence with the word gluttonous in it

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because I thought it was a good adjective for how society is about technology today, they just
cant get enough and want more. I imply that it is hand on observation where they got the data
that phones are an addiction. I reworded the concluding paragraph to make it stronger. I forgot to
cite one of my sources in the work. I deleted three sources from my Works Cited page because
even though I looked at those articles for my past papers, I didnt use their words in this paper.