Block 8

Name

Thesis/Topic
sentence

Fluency

Details

Other

Student 1

Has a thesis
-Has a thesis

Has paragraphs.
Needs help with
comma usage
-Has a lot of
summarization/repe
at information
without going
deeper into analysis

Student 2

Has a topic
sentence /sort of
thesis
-States his position
on technology in the
first paragraph but
has no real thesis

Reads easily
-Good transitions

Student 3

Has a topic
sentence
-Has a thesis but
doesnt list what he
will discuss in his
body paragraphs
-Each body
paragraph has a
topic sentence

Uses something a Vague

lot. Lots of careless -Good
mistakes
details
-lots of run-on
sentences

Doesnt
capitalize
is.
-Again
doesnt
capitalize
is

Student 4

No thesis
-Has a thesis with 3
reasons but each are
in a different
paragraph
-Has a conclusion

Very hard to read.

Needs help with
verb tense
-Hard to read at
parts
-Has three
paragraphs with
three reasons

Has all that

is required
(good
reasons
why his
wish might
not turn out
as planned)

-To versus
too

Student 5

Has a thesis
-Has a thesis

Reads easily
-Each paragraph
has a topic
sentence and the

Has good
details
-Great
details

Doesnt
capitalize
his is

-Struggles
with verb
tense (it
help us
instead of
it helps
us
-Good
details

paragraph stays on
the topic stated in
the topic sentence
Student 6

-Has a thesis with

two reasons. Reason
provided in the first
paragraph not listed
in the thesis
-Has a conclusion

-three reasons in
three different
paragraphs
-struggles with
spelling

-Thier
-to versus
too

Student 7

Has a thesis
-Good intro
paragraph
-No thesis
-Conclusion
introduces new ideas

Has paragraphs.
Needs help with
punctuation
(especially comma
usage).
-First body
paragraph has no
real main reason
behind it
-Easy to read

Has good
reasons
why the
wish would
be good
and bad for
himself/
society
-No real
argument
developed

-knoledg
e
-impossia
ble
-Doesnt
capitalize
proper
nouns

Student 8

Good introductory
sentence. Has a
thesis
-No thesis

Proper use of
punctuation in all
forms. Reads easily

-Good
details but
sparse;
needs more
evidence

-Kind of
flippyfloppy on
the issue
(doesnt
fully take
on one
stance)

Student 9

No thesis
-Great hook
-Thesis states her
belief but doesnt list
the things she will
discuss in the
following paragraphs
-Good conclusion

Lots of careless
mistakes. Lots of
misspelled words.

-Good
details

Doesnt
capitalize
-A little
too
informa
-Still
struggles
with
capitalizat
ion

Student 10

Has a thesis

Lots of

-Good

Uses

-Has a thesis and

reasons listed:
though in different
sentences
-Has a conclusion

abbreviations/slang
-Easy to read
-Three reasons in
three paragraphs

details

are
instead of
our
-&
instead of
and

Student 11

Have a topic
sentence and thesis
-Has a good intro but
no real thesis
-Has topic sentences
for each paragraph

Choppy sentences
-Three reasons in
three paragraphs
-Some weird/
miswordings
-Conclusion
introduces new
information

-Good
details

-Used I
-Spelling
errors

Student 12

No thesis
-States his position
but not really in a
thesis form (not in list
form)
-has a conclusion
smashed in the last
paragraph

Run-on sentences
-One large body
paragraph
-Hard to read
-Poor organization

Has good
details for
the one
wish he
recorded
-has good
reasons but
poorly
developed/
introduced
-Last
paragraph
has great
detail and
easy to
follow

Scrappily
put
together.
Doesnt
capitalize
is
-Forgets
periods

Student 13

-States his position

in the first paragraph
but does not have a
real thesis

It is clear English is
the second
language.
-Understandable
but not standard
English

-Good
details but
needs a lot
more
analysis

Struggles
to use the
proper
tense (a
consistent
tense).

Student 14

-Has a thesis and

three reasonsthough in different
sentences

-Choppy sentences
-Only two body
paragraphs

-Details are
scattered
and dont
connect
well (within

-Doesnt
capitalize
first
sentence

paragraphs)
-good
reasons
Student 15

-Has a sort of thesis

but doesnt support
either side of
argument until
paragraph two
-Great conclusion

Lots of run on
sentences
-Has transitions

-Good
details but
could
expand on
analysis

Often
incorrect
use of
there,
their,
theyre

Student 16

No thesis
-Has a thesis
-Has topic sentences
for each paragraph
-Good conclusion

Needs help with

fluency/sentence
flow. Random
capitalizations.
Hard to read at
parts
-Difficult to read
(missing key words)
-Struggles with
correct verb tense

Has good
supporting
details
-Good
details

Has a lot
of
grammati
cal errors.
Hard to
read

Student 17

Has a introductory/
topic sentence
-Has a thesis but not
in list form
-Good hook
-Good conclusion

Reads easily- good

flow
-Well written
-Good diction

-Very
detailed
-Great
reasons
and
explanation

Doesnt
capitalize
Capitalize
s random
words

Student 18

-Thesis not in first

paragraph
-Good conclusion

Hard-to-read at
parts, not formal
English
-Hard to read
because of the
difficulty in
translating spanish
to English

-Good
details

Correct
punctuatio
n of
quotations

Student 19

No thesis
-Great starter
sentence/hook
-No thesis
-Struggles with verb
tense

Grammar errors
(then instead of
than, space
between my and
self)- otherwise
reads pretty easily
-Grammatical errors

Has good
details
Good
details and
reasons
why
technology

Uses
periods
instead of
question
marks in a
lot of
places

make it a little
difficult to read

is positive

Student 20

Great topic sentence

to start her journal.
Thesis listing the
three wishes
-Good thesis

Could use
paragraphs. Has
careless spelling
errors
-Great diction
-Good conclusion

-Great
details

-Great
transitions
-Uses
periods
instead of
questions
marks in
certain
sentences

Student 22

Has a thesis
-Has a thesis in sort
of a list style

Uses repetitive
language
-Paragraphs are a
spattering of
different ideas; hard
to follow
-Not one idea per
paragraph
-Only two body
paragraphs

Has all that

is required
but doesnt
expand

Doesnt
capitalize
his is.