Running head: ROGERIAN STYLE

Rogerian Style Resonates with Me

Melanie A. Keiser
Union Institute & University

ROGERIAN STYLE

ROGERIAN STYLE

3
Abstract

This is an essay about Carl Roger's approach to therapy and how it resonates with me. I have the
characteristics and the motivation that to seamlessly work with this style, all the while realizing
that we are all a work in progress.

ROGERIAN STYLE

4
Rogerian Style Resonates with Me

Carl Roger's person-centered theory of personality is grounded in empirical research. I

admire his work because it did not seem that his ego was involved, as Roger's work was always a
work in progress. As Corey states contemporary person-centered therapy is the result of an
evolutionary process that continues to remain open to change and refinement. (see Cain, 2010;
Cain and Seeman, 2002) Rogers did not present the person-centered theory as a fixed and
completed approach to therapy. He hoped that others would view his theory as a set of tentative
principles relating to how the therapy process develops, not as dogma. Rogers expected his
model to evolve and was open and receptive to change(Cory, 2013 p.174). This is interesting to
me, from a therapists point of view, this is exactly what we would want a client to understand
about themselves. None of us are perfect, and we can always revise things for the better.
Maslow taught us that becoming self-actualizing individuals is an ongoing process rather than a
final destination (Cory, 2013).
As I consider that there is not final destination, no end result to look at, it does not bother
me that there is not a definite measure of success, and yet there would be. How does one measure
a relationship? The nature of the therapist and client relationship is one that is based on the belief
that given guidance and education, working with what positive attributes the client has to work
with, and the therapist maintains the attributes that are growth promoting for the client, then
progress can be made. Rogers discussed three attributes that assist the client to develop and
progress. As a therapist, I feel I have these qualities as a person already, although always a work
in progress for me, but nevertheless I feel I was brought up experiencing my mother's example of
these wonderful characteristics. Congruence as in genuineness and realness, acceptance and
caring also known as unconditional positive regard, and lastly and very important is accurate

ROGERIAN STYLE

empathetic understanding. This last one I feel is special in the way that I don't believe this comes
naturally to every relationship. This is an ability to deeply grasp the subjective world of the
other person. (Corey, 2013). I rarely conjure this ability up for an argument with my husband, in
fact perhaps the opposite happens, which makes us both defensive. I know this is something I
continually need to work on in relationship to him, but yet with others, such as acquaintances, I
am insightful and can really put myself in their shoes while remaining detached so as to still have
the ability to be helpful. If I try to recall how this theory may have worked with me in the
position of being helped (as opposed to in the helper position), I reflect on people who were
teachers when I was younger. There is one teacher in particular, Mrs. Hamilton, who I could just
feel from her that she was feeling the love. She seemed to really care about me, and her
other students. It was not just a job, it was important to her to make sure the students felt
respected and learned what she was teaching. In this way that she was caring, yet determined to
teach us what she needed to, I personally felt motivated to learn and was inspired and curious.
Mrs. Hamilton made our learning environment emotionally safe so that we could attend to other
matters, such as learning. I have also had teachers that I could compare to Gestalt approach to
therapy. Although this has obviously been successful for many, I feel I would respond by being
defensive, shutting down, not caring, not wanting to be considerate of the relationship and would
not respect this person. I would possibly feel rebellious. I have used this knowledge of myself
while raising my two children. I talked with them and guided them and showed them support. I
was patient when they were not ready to accept something. I did not get stirred up when they
informed me of something I did not approve of, I found this to be an opportunity to guide them.
My children have always been open with me, and they are not afraid of me. I have always
thought we are all (including myself) a work in progress and always learning. I don't know how

ROGERIAN STYLE

some people are born with built in skills it seems, to cope with life and others are not, but I do
know that it is nothing to be ashamed of.
As a therapist working with a client who has substance abuse issues, I would take the
experiences that I have and the person centered approach and weave them into a relationship
with the client. I feel that a person who has come to a place in life where they conclude that they
need help, I would want to establish a relationship with them to begin with. I would want to
listen and appropriately share experiences and skill that I have learned or understand that would
be helpful to them. I would want them to understand that I am the earth that they can throw their
anchor to in the stormy sea. (Sorry for the analogy, I am on an island right now, it is in my head.)
When they know that they are safe for the time being, it will enable them to concentrate on what
is at hand. Especially with substance abusers, I would want them to know that I feel that they
should not be ashamed, and that although it can be a lot of work, it is possible to become healthy
again. I would let them know that I have faith in their ability and would help them set up
strategies and give them resources.
I truly do want to help people, I have experience myself with depression and shame from
drug abuse, and also the pain of watching loved ones wreck their lives and others lives by
abusing drugs. When I got to a place in my life where I had contemplated getting out and away
from the life I was enmeshed in, I was able to find a counselor and a friend who I threw my
anchor to. If I did not have those two things to begin with, I would not have been strong enough
to make the move on my own. I needed to have support. Although I did all the work myself, I
knew that I had the support I needed. I felt that someone cared and that it was unconditional. I
am still learning new skills all the time to heal and work on things that are difficult for me. I
learn things by reading, taking classes, listening, discussing and actually working on things as

ROGERIAN STYLE

they come up. I can relate to one of the girls in the counseling videos who when she was not in
therapy, she said that she went home and got in her bed. I can relate to that. She needs a reason to
get up and she needs the skills to cope with what she will encounter when she is up and out.
With my experience and insight, together with my continual studies, I really feel that I
could be genuine, caring and insightful and really help someone.

ROGERIAN STYLE

8
References

Corey, G. (2013). Theory and Practice of Counseling and Psychotherapy. Ninth addition, 172178.