Rosita Cansino

English 250 Section SE

Assignment #5
Ms. Futhey
December 10, 2015
Reflection of Written Assignment

It is amazing to know that someone can say they are finished with an essay. When
really a writing assignment can always have changes that someone might not expect. When
writing my last essay, I thought I was done editing it, until I received feedback from my teacher
and my peers. As I read their feedback, I reread my essay and realized that I could have
elaborated more on my topics and fix some grammar errors that I had not noticed. I guess this is
why my previous English teachers have said, an essay can always have multiple changes.
As I was going over my essay and the feedback I was given, I decided to fix my thesis
statement. I had previously left it as a question and had not given a proper explanation of the
reason why most immigrants assimilate. When I finished with that part, I continued to change the
wording in my other paragraphs. I noticed that some sentences did not make sense or were not
complete. For example on my third paragraph I decided to add how assimilating to learn English
would be beneficial to an immigrants future.
Along with adding more sentences, I also decided to split my fourth paragraph into two.
This decision was made because the first half of my paragraph was referring to the cultures and
beliefs that immigrants face when coming to the United States. The second part of my paragraph
I began to talk about Firoozeh Dumas and how her name was an obstacle in this country. I did
not think of separating them, because I thought both topics would balance each other out.

Although, since they were two different topics my teacher and peers commented that I should
split my fourth paragraph into two. With this change I can distinguish both topics without getting
confused.
In my other paragraphs there were sentences that I had included, but had no idea how to
elaborate on them. On the eighth paragraph, I had added a sentence that stated how some people
are biased toward others based on their culture and if they are undocumented. At the time I was
writing the essay I thought it was a good idea to include this thought, but when I revised my
essay I decided to take the sentence out. This sentence was based on my own opinion and I had
no research to back it up. There were other occasions in this essay where I had to remove my
ideas because I could not accurately cite them.
Throughout my essay I fixed my word choice and fixed some typos I had. I elaborated on
phrases that were important to the topic of the essay. I decided to add a conclusion, instead of
using what I had initially used as a conclusion. This was suggested by my peers because I had
not fully concluded what my essay was about, I had just ended it with other facts. In the previous
conclusion I had planned to end, I wrote introductions before the quotes that Jorge Ramos stated
and included the reason to why Ramos stated them. This way the quotes werent just flowing in
my paragraph and would actually stand out.
Since I had not included a conclusion to my first draft, my peers suggested that I should
write a conclusion for my essay stating what it was about. I took their suggestion and wrote a
conclusion about how immigrants come to the United States to have a better life. I also included
how it may not be easy for everyone, but they risk everything they have in order to live the
American Dream.

When writing my annotated bibliography, I completely goofed up on properly citing my

resources. I did not include the website name, the date it was accessed, I had things that were
unnecessary, etc. Luckily I figured how to properly cite my resources and I included a brief
description about the information that was provided from these sites.
In conclusion I found all the feedback helpful. My teachers feedback was the most
helpful because the input she gave me made my essay sound cleaner and look more organized. I
also appreciated the feedback from my peers because I was able to add a conclusion to my essay.
I elaborated on my ideas and I tried to not include my opinion as much. I know I will take these
suggestions in consideration when I write my other essays.