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Charis Mariger
Tammy Ziegler-McCreery
Psychology 1100-012
10 November 2015
Erik Erikson, Behavioral Theorist
Erik Erikson was born in 1902 and was a pioneering psychologist whose ideas were
greatly influenced by Sigmund Freud. However, Erikson believed that Freud missed some
important aspects of human development. There are two major difference between the two
theorists. Freud believed our personalities are shaped by the age of five, while Erikson
maintained that humans develop throughout their entire lifetime, (Sharkey,1997). The focus of
their theories also differs. Freud claimed that human development is psychosexual in nature and
was an id psychologist. The id is the primitive or instinctive part of personality. It consists
of all the inherited or biological components of personality, including the sexual instinct and the
aggression instinct. The id operates on pleasure, the idea that every impulse must be satisfied
immediately regardless of the consequences. Erikson believed that development is psychosocial
in nature because it involves the psychological needs of the individual (psycho), which conflicts
with society (social). He was an ego psychologist. The ego operates according to reality,
compromising or postponing satisfaction to avoid the negative consequences of society. The ego
considers social rules and etiquette when deciding how to behave. (McLeod, 2013). Freud
divided human development into five stages, as opposed to Eriksons eight stages.
Eriksons Psychosocial Stages
Like Freud, Erikson believed that a crisis occurs at each stage of development.
According to his theory, the completion of each stage will result in a healthy well-adjusted
person who has acquired basic virtues or strengths. The ego can use these virtues to resolve
future crises. The failure to successfully complete a stage could affect the completion of later

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stages resulting in a less healthy personality and sense of self (McLeod, 2013). Unlike Freud,
Erikson believed these stages could still be resolved at a later time.
Stage 1: Trust vs. Mistrust, Babies, Birth - 1 year
The idea that a baby either trusts or distrusts that others will care for their basic needs. The virtue
acquired at this stage is hope. If needs are met, the infant will have hope and confidence in the
world, (Berger, 2010), (McLeod, 2013).
Stage 2: Autonomy vs. Shame and Doubt, Toddlers, 1 - 3 years
Children either become self-sufficient in many activities, such as self-care, or doubt their own
abilities. Success in this stage will lead to the virtue of will. The will and confidence to continue
to try, (Berger, 2010), (McLeod, 2013).
Stage 3: Initiative vs. Guilt, Young Children, 3 - 6 years
Children either want to undertake adult like activities or feel limited by parents. They either feel
adventurous or guilty. Success in the stage leads to the virtue of purpose, (Berger, 2010),
(McLeod, 2013).
Stage 4: Industry vs. Inferiority, School Age Children, 6 - 11 years
Children learn to be competent in mastering new skills or they feel inferior, unable to do things
as well as they wish they could. Success leads to the virtue of competency, (Berger, 2010),
(McLeod, 2013).
Stage 5: Identity vs. Role Confusion, Adolescents, 12 - 18 years
Adolescents try to figure out they are with regards to sexual, political or vocational identities, or
they are confused about what roles to play. Success in this stages leads to the virtue of fidelity,
(Berger, 2010), (McLeod, 2013).
Stage 6: Intimacy vs. Isolation, Young Adulthood, 18 - 40 years
Emerging adults seek companionship and love, or become isolated from others fearing rejection

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and disappointment. Success here leads to the virtue of love, (Berger, 2010), (McLeod, 2013).
Stage 7: Generativity vs. Stagnation, Adulthood, 40 - 65 years
Middle-aged adults contribute to the next generation through meaningful work, creative activities
and raising a family or they feel stagnant, as if they have stopped progressing. The virtue
acquired in this stage is the ability to care deeply for others, (Berger, 2010), (McLeod, 2013).
Stage 8: Integrity vs. Despair, Maturity, 65+
Older adults try to make sense out of their lives. They see their lives as meaningful or they feel
despair due to goals never reached. At the end of life, one hopes to have gained wisdom. Success
in navigating this stage leads to the virtue of wisdom, (Berger, 2010), (McLeod, 2013).
Generativity vs. Stagnation
As stated, during middle adulthood, we establish a career, settle down within a
relationship, begin our own families and develop a sense of being a part of the bigger picture.
We give back to society through raising our children, being productive at work, and becoming
involved in community activities and organizations. By failing to achieve these objectives, we
become stagnant and feel unproductive (McLeod, 2013). When this time of productivity
concludes, either by the end of a marriage, the loss of meaningful work, or when children leave
the nest, an adult can experience a sense of crises.
When my first child was born, I left my job and became a full time stay at home mother. I
had not yet completed college but my plan was to return school at some point and finish my
degree. By the time my third child was born, I was so busy with the demands of raising my
family that the thought of going back to school seemed impossible. Instead, I became a supermom. I joined the PTA and served on the executive board. I volunteered in the classroom and
directed the school choral program. I was the brownie troupe leader, manager of the competition
soccer team and chaperoned backstage at their dance recitals. As my children moved on to Jr.

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High School, I received an invitation to direct the school musical, which I accepted and
continued to direct for the next 10 years. Determined to be the best mother I could be with the
goal of making my daughters childhoods memorable, and their education and extracurricular
activities the very best they could be, I literally threw myself into every aspect of my childrens
lives. My children loved it and were often boastful about my involvement and I loved being a
part of their lives. These were very happy years.
Fast-forward 18 years. My oldest daughter began applying for college. I was secretly in a
bit of a panic at the thought of her moving out of the house or worse, the state. But she chose a
state university right near our home and put off moving out until she had a year or two of college
under her belt. She eventually moved away but not until she got married during her senior year.
Ill never forget the bittersweet tears we shared the night of her wedding as I helped her
out of her wedding dress, watched her throw the bouquet and drive away to begin her new life as
a married woman. This scenario repeated with daughter number two, who married and moved
away with her husband to start a business in another state.
In Crisis
I will admit I did not do well with these changes. It was hard for me to adjust to the fact
that my husband and I were no longer the center of our childrens lives. They didnt come
running to us for advice. We werent privy to the events of their days. They were sharing their
lives with their spouses, as they should. But I felt replaced. And I was conflicted about it. On one
hand, I felt tremendous satisfaction at having done a pretty good job raising them and didnt have
many regrets. Wed had a wonderful life and a lot of fun. I knew it was time to step back and let
them go. On the other hand, the time had gone by so quickly and before I knew it, they were
grown and gone. I missed them. I missed their friends. I missed the coming and going of our
busy lives. I missed our late night talks and movie marathons and the laughter, there was so

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much laughter. It was a huge adjustment, for me and our youngest daughter, who was still at
home. She missed them too.
The crises for me at this developmental stage in life, was the fact that I felt out of a job. I
was having a now what? experience. To make matters worse, my married daughters began to
question some aspects of their upbringing. Maybe it hadnt been such a good idea to live at home
during college. Maybe they had needed more autonomy during Ericksons 6th stage of
development, intimacy and isolation. My daughters reevaluations led them to make changes in
their lives that caused further conflict for me, such as their decision to leave our religion. That
and other choices brought my parenting into question as well everything I had taught and raised
them to believe. Maybe I wasnt such a great mom after all. Maybe I held on too tight. Maybe I
did it wrong.
The thought that all my efforts and sacrifices for them might be unappreciated really
threw me. I considered the fact that children really dont owe their parents anything. They didnt
ask to be born. We wanted children. My children never asked me to give up anything for them; it
was my choice to postpone my education and stay home full time. After much soul searching, a
little time on a therapists couch and a wonderful psychology class I enrolled in, I learned some
valuable things.
Crisis Resolution
Emerging adult children often rethink their upbringing. They are pretty much hardwired
to do so. In psychology we learned that children usually adopt their parents belief systems, this is
called foreclosure. Later in life they will decide for themselves what makes sense and what
doesnt, what they agree with and what they have learned through life experiences, doesnt suit
them (McCreery, 2015). I also learned (or was reminded), that the primary goal in parenting is
preparing our children to leave us. When our children are able to live successfully without us, it

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means we have done our job well as parents. The fact that they are making different choices than
I made, shows me that I raised strong independent people who think for themselves. I may not
always agree with their choices but I trust that they are following their hearts and doing what
they believe is best for them. Im actually very proud of the people they have become. At the end
of the day it hasnt really changed anything between us. We are still the close family we have
always been.
As for myself, Ive returned to school. I hope to be a nurse. Its something Ive been
interested in since I was pregnant with my daughters. I experienced preterm labor with all three
and spent time in and out of the hospital. It was the nurses who took care of me, much more than
the doctors who breezed in and out once a day. They were such caring individuals who reassured
me daily, sometimes hourly that my babies were safe and everything would be alright. I think
nursing is a wonderful profession and will provide me with an opportunity to give of myself in a
meaningful way as well as help carry the financial load a little bit as my husband and I prepare
for our retirement. So its me time. Im doing something for myself and it feels really good.
Conclusion
If I could go back and change anything, or give advice to young women contemplating
marriage and children, Id say, finish your education before the babies come, dont give up too
much and lose yourself in the process of parenting, and hang on tight cause youre in for the ride
of your life. Ive learned the importance of putting into place the things that will ensure a
meaningful life after children are grown and gone.
As my youngest daughter prepares to leave our home in the next year, I am in a much
better place. It will be bittersweet, just like it was with her sisters. It will be the hardest
adjustment of all because she is the last and we will officially be empty nesters. But Ive learned
that the best thing we can do for our children is to give them roots and give them wings.

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References

Berger, K.S. (2010). Invitation to The LifeSpan (2nd ed.). New York, NY: Worth Publishers.
McCreery, T.Z (2015, October 29). Early Childhood. Psychology 1100. Lecture conducted from
Salt Lake Community College, Taylorsville, Utah.
McLeod, S. A. (2013). Erik Erikson. Retrieved from www. simplypsychology.org/
ErikErikson.html
Sharkey, W. (1997, May). History of Psychology History. Erik Erikson. Retrieved December 5,
2015, from www.muskingum.edu