Ariyana Dozier

Professor Cassandra Blandford

UWRT 1103
9 December 2015

Final Conversation Essay

Homosexuality. What does it mean? Many individuals have their own definitions and
stereotypes built behind it. The true definition of homosexuality is the romantic and or, sexual
attraction and behaviors between members of the same sex. Almost everything that I know
(which is not much) about homosexuality I have learned through some form of media in my late
teenage years. I personally have many questions around the subject due to the fact that I lack
much knowledge about. Hence, the reason I chose this topic for my research. Through writing I
want to be able to better understand those who have identities different from me. Some of the
questions I have on this topic are: Can homosexuality be changed? How are homosexuals
portrayed in the media? and Where is homosexuality most widely accepted? I have many
more questions but, of all of the questions I have, there is one that I wanted to particularly go
deeper into research about, At what age is it okay for a child to declare their sexual
orientation? Many have tried answering this very controversial question, but I believe that there
is no clear and cut answer. Through my research I would have to use rhetorical knowledge,
critical reading, and critical reflection to form some type of answers for myself.

Sexual identity development, like identity development in general, is a process of

formation and commitment/integration (Erikson, 1968). Identity itself is an extremely complex
process. We all go through it and it may be an awkward stage for many of us. It starts from
within and surfaces questions about who we want and who we can be. Our natural human
instinct causes us to want to explore different identities. Through learning, growing, and
observing, one begins to form their own identity. Certain identities may change throughout
different times and settings. However, for the most part when a person has integrated and
become comfortable with their identity, they want it to be known by others permanently. As for
sexual identity formation, the process is slightly different. Lesbian, gay, and bisexual youth first
become aware that they have an initial attraction to the same sex. They then engage in sexual
activities with the same sex, and at some point in time conclude that they are in fact, lesbian, gay,
or bisexual. Sexual identity integration also is a multidimensional process: The individual may
engage in lesbian-, gay-, or bisexual-related social and recreational activities, work through his
or her negative attitudes toward homosexuality (what is often known as internalized
homophobia), begin to feel more comfortable with the idea that others may know about her or
his lesbian, gay, or bisexual identity, and disclose that identity to others. (Patterson and
DAugelli 42) It is important that we note that the order of identity formation and integration
may differ depending on the age of developmental initiation, duration of development, and order
of developmental events. This order also may be effected by outside factors such as family,
peers, and school. If a child fails to select an identity and integrate fully, it causes confusion. It
can also increase the chances of mental health and developmental problems. For example,
lesbian, gay, or bisexual youths whose sexual identities are less fully developed (e.g., less
disclosure, more internalized homophobia) report more psychological distress and lower self-

esteem than do their peers whose sexual identity integration is more advanced (Rosario,
Schrimshaw, & Hunter, 2011b). (Patterson and DAugelli 50) Many are hesitant to fully accept
the identity of homosexuality because they may be ridiculed by parents and peers. Because of the
fear of rejection and not being understand, many internalize their feelings which only makes
things worse in the end. All of this information is useful in helping me better understand the
process and development of an individuals sexuality, however, it does not specifically address
the question of, at what age is it okay for a child to declare their sexual identity? As I said
before, I am almost certain that there is no one answer to this question.
Another way to look at this question is to see that the discovery of sexual orientation does
not imply that the child is only realizing that they are homosexual. It could also be the realization
that one is straight. If I was asked at the age of 7 or 8 whether or not I was gay or straight, I
would probably not even understand the question. But, by age 13 I may be better able to
understand and answer that question. Earlier this year I was asked by my 13 year old cousin if he
was too young to think that he might be gay. I did not know what to tell him at the time due to
the fact that I had absolutely no idea, so I told him, I guess when you know, you know. I think
what I said was true and fair. Looking back I think that if a person says yes a child knows early
on that they are straight and attracted to the opposite sex, then it is only right to say yes that a
child knows early on that they are homosexual. Answering no to this question could also be a
valid answer. It may take time for the development and understanding of sexuality orientation for
some individuals. It is also normal for some people to have subtle or even big shifts in their
orientation throughout life. No one knows the future, and when someone declares their sexuality
they are speaking on what they are now in the present. A person may have a feeling that
something is permanent or temporary but there is no way of truly predicting that. During

adolescence, we do tend to be whats called less selective about sexual partners due to a couple
things: not just a bunch of hormones flying around, but also because thats a time when we are
feeling all of this out, starting to figure all of it out. (Corinna, Scarleteen) This could mean that
we could be attracted to one type of person at the age of 14, and by age 28 be attracted to a
whole new type of person. I dont think anyone is too young to think or even know that they
are a given sexual orientation, no matter what that orientation is. (Corinna, Scarleteen)
Sexuality is an experience that varies among people. Some people say that they knew as children
that they were gay, others say they did not know until later in life. Either way when a person has
decided who or what they want to be, they should own it and accept themselves.
After finishing up my research I have concluded that there is officially no real answer to
my question. Although I was unable to come up with a clear cut answer I have learned a lot and
was able to come up with an educated conclusion for myself. Homosexuality is a very
controversial topic that many do not know enough about. I now feel like I could help and maybe
even relate to an individual going through the process of discovering who they are. Through this
paper I was able to better educate myself on homosexuality and I hope to eventually help educate
others as well. If I were to move forward with this subject I would continue it in the form of a
blog directed towards adolescents struggling with their sexuality. I would be able to
communicate back and forward with them and read about some of their experiences first hand.
Literacy has played a huge role in this research. Literacy itself is not limited to one
definition and can be influenced by many factors. Growing up I had little access to literacy on
topics such as homosexuality, therefore I knew little about it. The way I was brought up and what
I was taught molded my literacy. In concluding my research I have found that I have not been
persuaded or molded in the same way that I might have been by my mother as child, however, I

have expanded my knowledge and gained a more opened mind. By reading and writing I have
come experience and understand a new voice, one that was unfamiliar to me. Also through
writing, I now have a much better understanding of others who may have identities different
from mine.

Works Cited

Patterson, Charlotte, and Anthony R. D'Augelli. "Chapter 7." Handbook of Psychology and
Sexual Orientation. New York: Oxford UP, 2013. N. page. Print.

Ponton, Lynn. "What Does Gay Mean." Www.nmha.org/whatdoesgaymean. National

Mental Health Association. Web. 28 Oct. 2015.

Friedrichs, Ellen. "My Mom Says I Am Too Young To Know I'm a Lesbian." About.com
Dating & Relationships. Web. 28 Oct. 2015.

Corinna, Heather. "Am I Too Young to Think I'm Gay?" Scarleteen. Web. 28 Oct. 2015.