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WP submission:
(a phrase, sentence,
paragraph, idea, move,
punctuation, piece of
evidence, etc.)
An observation or
question I
received from De
Piero or a
classmate:
The change(s) I
made to what I
initially wrote: (ie,
the change[s] I made
to column 1)
I completely
If I have one
And although many of piece of advice, revamped my thesis. I
its this: be
added the specific
these articles are all
crystal-clear
covering the same
parts of my argument
topic, they present
about what,
to my thesis and put
different information, exactly, youre
them in order to which
yet are still similar
arguing in this
they would appear in
because of certain
paper. Lay it
my paper. I also made
conventions that are the out in your
sure that thesis
same throughout their thesis
actually would argue
genre.
statement so
something so I saw
your reader
that my argument
(Original Thesis)
will be able to
should be based
follow your
around audience and
thought
bias.
process along
the way.
You're repeating
yourself a bit here.
You already got me
hooked; don't lose
me by slowing down
the momentum!
I changed around my
paragraph and chose
to take out the entire
first sentence before
Many factors
Without paragraphs
that each focus on
one point at a time -which, each, are
central to your
argument -- I'm going
to have a(n
I changed the
structure entirely.
Changed my paper to
10 total paragraphs.
This relates to my
thesis and laying out
the foundation to my
paper. By actually
having paragraphs, this
enables my points and
argument to be seen
WP1:
WP1:
often resulting in
different takes and
perspectives for each
article. Many factors
go into the bias, and
each has its own
importance in terms of
how the finished article
is presented to the
readers
WP1:
I only had a total of 4
paragraphs my first
time.
WP1:
Original Structure:
Intro
Differences
Similarities
Importance
Conclusion
New Structure:
Intro
Similarities
Similar Set-Up
Similar headlines
Similar Past bring up
Limitations
Bias
Bias of Mets Article
Bias of Dodger Article
Conclusion
WP1:
By providing textual
evidence for my reader,
Im helping them SEE
my argument and what
Im trying to point out to
them rather than just
having them take my
word for it.
WP2:
Hazing is sometimes
seen as an inevitable
consequence that
comes with playing
sports, with the notion
of the more you
advance in your
respective sport, the
more hazing that will
occur.
WP2:
Punctuation-wise,
this works just fine,
but I'm wondering
what this dashed
side-thought is doing.
Is it necessary?
I chose to create a
new paragraph and
dedicate it solely to
this topic of pastconnections
1, a semicolon could
work well in the
middle of that
sentence From X,
blah blah; from Y,
blah blah.
I changed the
structure of my
sentence to save space
and chose to have a
semicolon split my
ideas
By adding a semicolon
Im breaking up ideas
and allowing my reader
to more clearly see the
separation of my
thoughts and
arguments.
Overall, depending on
the genre, an author
must use different
moves, must conform
to different
conventions, and must
know their audience so 2, Turn sociology and
psychology into
as to better connect to
WP2:
one similarity can be
I changed looks at
to has different
speculations towards
Looks at isnt as
scholarly or doesnt
hold the same
connotation as
speculation does. By
using speculation, Im
providing a feeling of
academic astuteness,
so my reader is more
inclined to take what Im
arguing to heart.
I rearranged and
rewrote these
sentences to take out
the papers that were
a bit repetitious.
Awesome. I'd
consider promoting
this phrase to the
topic sentence of the
paragraph (b/c that's
what the whole
paragraph is
ultimately about).
sentence of
paragraph).
WP2:
This move also
By clearing up what I
was making a case for,
my reader can better
understand the impact
this move has on the
paper. Also, by making
sure the reader knew
what I was talking
about, Im making sure
theyre more focused
on what Im trying to
say, and they dont
have to stop and halt
their momentum.
By me being able to
explain how much
information was
gathered by the
psychologists, Im
adding some credibility
to the moves I describe
later as Im showing
that the way they
organized their data
was truly important to
the outcome of their
paper.
WP1:
yet still being able to
By adding transitions
between paragraphs,
my paper has a much
better flow throughout
and is a lot easier for
the reader to follow. By
transitioning between
paragraphs, Im fusing
my ideas together
before diving straight
into the next one,
I added transitions
between a lot of
paragraphs to help
my argument change
from one idea to
another.
helping my reader be
eased into the next
piece of the argument
Im providing.