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Love,
Weepy Wifey

Dearest Weepy Wifey,

I once said that I would never tattoo any mans name on my

sacred body. Not only since it is completely gauche, but because
you can never trust a man, lovey! (ShhhhI know this is a bridal
magazine, but I truly just said that.) Im not insinuating that
every man is a bad egg, or that they will all be unfaithful, or be
intentionally hurtful towards you, but I promise you that at one
point in your relationship, you will look at him and think, why
did I want to marry you?! And if you happen to go so far as to
contemplate breaking up and you have his face etched on your
bosom, you may shed a tear or two removing that blasted tattoo.
Alas, it may not be that extreme, but when you get frustrated
with his silly antics (e.g. wont take out the garbage, is smelly,
buys you a vacuum for Valentines Day, etc.) you will inevitably
allow a little doubt to creep into your thoughts. This is when you
must immediately call your one go-to gal that you vent to. The
girl who preferably has a more sordid past that you. (I.e. you have
more dirt on her than Elin has on Tiger-thus you have no fear
she will gossip about your drama).
You see Wifey, You have broken the cardinal rule of the Future
Wives Club: Unless you have changed your number and moved
to Alaska when you broke up with your man, do not gossip to everyone and their mama about how awful he is. You NEVER know
if you will end up walking down the aisle with him. If you think
it was hard for you to forgive him after all of the naughtiness
that he did, think how difficult it is for your poor father to hand
you off to him on your wedding day when he imagines all of the
tears you shed over him.
I am not telling you this sob story to feel hopeless though! Just
trying to prove a point that you should most definitely share your
To enlist the help of Miss Valentine, email etiquette@baybellapublishing.com

Etiquette by the Bay:

Miss Valentine answers all of
your pressing questions

Miss Valentine has gracefully attended, participated in, planned, and

cancelled a multitude of weddings. She has all the answers for any
sticky situation, so that you always come out looking polite and pretty in
that white dress on your wedding day.

heartache and frustration with someone, just make sure it is with

a therapist (they will tell no one) or with the one girlfriend that
you trust to keep it vaulted, and who will still smile pretty when
you walk down the aisle. (And let this be a cautionary tale to
future wifeys!)
This is not completely in vain though, my dear, not only are
you informing other wifeys what NOT to do, but I also have
some words of wisdom to help you enjoy your special day.

1. Have a spa day with the ladies (your treat! Better yet HIS

2.
3.

treat-put it on his card!) Tell them that you appreciate their

support over the years. Let them know that you are going
into this union with your eyes wide open to all that has happened and that you and your fianc are more than prepared
to work through everything.
Have your fianc take you and your parents out to dinner.
Have him formally let your parents know that he plans on
being a gentleman and excellent husband to their daughter.
Believe everything that you have told me about loving him
and forgiving him. When you believe, everyone else will too.
Hold your head up high while you walk down the aisle; enjoy
yourself and your fianc. When people see that you are genuinely happy then they will have less negative things to say.

In sum, if you must share your relationship woes, please

remember to only share the big, dark secrets with your most
trusted friend or a therapist. Believe all that you have told me
about forgiving your fianc, and you will care less about what everyone thinks. Have patience with those who love you, they want
the best for you; since they have been privy to the things your
man has done, it will take time, but they will come around.

Miss Valentine

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