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EMPHATIC
VS
EMPATHIC
LISTENING
EMPATHY
From Greek empatheia - affection,
passion
EMPATHY
EMPATHIC LISTENING
By pairs,
1) Sharer a problem
2) Listener - give advice
TIME FRAME: 2 minutes
SWITCH ROLES
1) Sharer a problem
2) Listener - give advice
TIME FRAME: 2 minutes
By pairs,
1) Sharer a problem
2) Listener - listen quietly
TIME FRAME: 2 minutes
SWITCH ROLES
1) Sharer a problem
2) Listener - listen quietly
TIME FRAME: 2 minutes
G
N
I
N
E
T
S
I
L
.
HEARING VS
HEARING
LISTENING
THE
CONSCIOUS CHOICE
REQUIRES
ACT OF
PERCEIVING SOUND BY
THE EAR.
HEARINGIMPAIRED,
HEARING SIMPLY
HAPPENS
CONCENTRATION SO
THAT YOUR BRAIN
PROCESSES MEANING
"hard of
listening"
rather than
"hard of
1. HEARING
2. ATTENDING: Paying attention to a signal
3. UNDERSTANDING: Making sense of a message
4. RESPONDING: Giving observable feedback
5. REMEMBERING: The ability to recall information
[FOOTER] REPLACE WITH PRESENTATION TITLE
11/20/15 / 17
Listen twice as
much as you speak
Steven Covey
THEN TO BE UNDERSTOOD*
Desire to be
other-directed
Desire to imagine
the experience of
the other
No desire to
protect yourself
Desire to
understand,
not critique
BODY
LANGUAGE
Examples:
Sitting forward
Eye contact
Nodding head
Facial Expressions
BODY
LANGUAGE
Matching
Mirroring
Pacing
Examples:
OPEN-ENDED
QUESTIONS
What happened
after that?
Who was there?
What did they do?
How did that work?
REPEAT
CONTENT
Examples:
So what I hear you
saying is . . .
ACKNOWLEDGING
FEELINGS
Examples:
Youre feeling ___.
It makes you
(feeling) that . . .
DONT
JUDGE
BEING QUIET
Examples:
Count to yourself.
Quiet your mind.
Body Language
Repeat Content
Dont Judge
Open-Ended
Questions
Acknowledge
Feelings
Be Quiet
ACTIVE LISTENING
Evaluating: You
judge and then either
agree or disagree.
Probing:
Ask questions from
your own frame of
reference
Interpreting:
Analyze others' motives and
behaviors based on your
own experiences.
When that happened to a friend of
mine.
Ako rin
Empathic listening
the
speaker ,
is about
PLEASE
LISTEN
WHEN I ASK YOU TO LISTEN TO ME AND YOU START
GIVING ME ADVICE, YOU HAVE NOT DONE WHAT I ASKED.
WHEN I ASK YOU TO LISTEN TO ME AND YOU BEGIN TO TELL
ME
WHY I SHOULDN'T FEEL THAT WAY, YOU ARE TRAMPLING ON
MY FEELINGS.
WHEN I ASK YOU TO LISTEN TO ME AND YOU FEEL YOU
HAVE TO DO SOMETHING
TO SOLVE MY PROBLEM, YOU HAVE FAILED ME, STRANGE
AS THAT MAY SEEM.
LISTEN! ALL I ASK IS THAT YOU LISTEN. DON'T TALK
OR
Author
Unknown
DO--JUST HEAR ME.
1. Mimic Content
2. Rephrase the
Content
3. Reflect Feeling
4. Rephrase the
Content and Reflect
the feeling
REFLECT CONTENT
You are worried that your group mates want to get rid of you
THE OTHER: I am worried about my group mates. I feel they want to get
rid of me.
YOU:
------------------------THE OTHER: She makes me so angry all she does is complain and
She
makes your feel angry because she complains a lot
complain.
YOU:
--------------------------
You
are responsible
andbecause
you feelthis
bad
this person
into trouble
THE OTHER:
I feel really bad
person
got into got
trouble
when it
was I who was most responsible.
DYADS
EXERCISE: REFLECT CONTENT
YOU:
REFLECT FEELING
EXAMPLE:
THE OTHER:
ThisHappy/excit
new assignment is just what I need. I get along
ed
well with everybody.
THE OTHER:
YOU:
****************
Sad/frustrated
: I have
really tried to do my best but I just cant satisfy
THE OTHER
everybody.
YOU:
YOU FEEL
__________
****************
THE OTHER:
Mad/irritated
My Coordinator! It always seems
as if she is looking
over
my shoulder and watching every move I make
YOU:
ABOUT:
being said
Angry, frustrated,
excited, sad, ignored,
misunderstood, happy, nervous,
hesitant, embarrassed, foolish,
upset, discouraged, stifled,
disrespected, emotional, confused,
Speechless, unsure, enthusiastic
HELPFUL LANGUAGE
As I get it, you feel
You sound
So as you see it
is
What I am hearing
You seem
with you, but
I am not sure I am
EXAMPLE:
YOU:
YOU
Bad/confuse
FEEL____________________
d
you see him studying and he still gets a
low grade
BECAUSE________________________________
YOU:
Frustrated/ang
ry
BECAUSE_______________________________
DYADS EXERCISE: REFLECT CONTENT & FEELING
PARENT:
YOU:
YOU FEEL________________________
BECAUSE_____________________________
EMPATHIC LISTENING
DO
DONT: