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Rebecca Martinez
English 101 Sec. 28192
Cultural Essay
10 November 2015
Persnickety Matchmaking
The clash between cultures in modern day life interprets the belief of coexistence in
which diversity is treated into an open minded realm that is accepted in this generation. The
paradox in customs that are grown within beliefs and superstitions are overseen through the
crowds of curiosity. The belief in an arranged marriage bewilders the perceptive image of the
mystery in love and marriage to the American culture. Arranging a Marriage in India, by
Serena Nanda, depicts the importance of a parents value in handpicking a promising spouse for
their children, and the persnickety nature in which they work their match-making skills.
Although a bounteous number of people might go against arranged marriages in Western
cultures, Nanda gives a different perspective in which arranged marriages are more mysterious
and every strand in the quilt of life is selectively placed in order.
Critical America:
Serena, at the time, was a young American women who had visited India and met young
women and men whose parents were in the process of looking for a suitable spouse for them to
marry (Hirschberg 127). As she begun to question a young women about her own thoughts on
arranged marriage, was that this Indian custom was oppressive. She thought, if she were the one
whose parents arranged a man for her to wed, she would have been reluctant and rebellious. In
the Western hemisphere, we view marriage as a form of committing your life entirely to the one

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you had gotten to know and love through years of relationship with that special someone.
Visualizing to become a bride-to-be with a man you barely know, is quite an obstacle for plenty
of American woman, yet alone without their consent. Serena spoke with Sita, a young Indian
woman who received a degree in political science, revealed that she had been waiting over a year
for her parents to find a suitable man to tie the knot with. As Serenas mind had unraveled with
curiosity she was baffled with the idea that the young women in India didnt have a say in her
parents decisions. Sita, then stated that she was inexperienced to pick out a fitting bachelor
whom she will spend the rest of her life with, therefore her parents guidance is relevant in this
important decision. Serena, as a young woman of America, gives her point of view on how
marriage is a mystery and how finding love proceeds to marriage; but finding the right candidate
is like a game, where you like someone or you do not, then you move on to the next person in
which you might or might not have a chemistry that goes beyond physical contact. Statistics
show divorce rates spiking to a 54.8 percent of marriages end in divorce in America and a flat
rate of 1.1 percent in India, upholding the lowest rate in divorce around the world (Divorce). If it
is to say that arranged marriages shows a cultures oppression towards their children, then why
does India have the lowest divorce rate?
Chance to Enjoy Life:
As Serenas conversation continues with the young Indian women, Sita, comprehends
what she is trying to get across but she defends her culture and states:
One hears that in America the girls are spending more time worrying about
whether they will meet a man and get married. Here we have the chance to enjoy our life
and let our parents do this work and worrying for us (Hirschberg 128).

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At that moment, Serena evaluated how she spent her teenage years worrying about being a
competition to other girls to win over a boys affection; Frequently dealing with self-esteem and
self-confidence because of the vile Artisan of anxiety that American girls put on themselves. Sita
told Serena how women in India visualize American women dating different men every so often,
in search of a husband:
With you people, you know the boy so well before you marry, where will be the fun to
get married? There will be no romance. Here we have the whole of our married life to get
to know and love our husband. This way is better, is it not? (129).
Is it not better, to live a youthful life worry-free? Free from concerning about finding the perfect
man to sweep a women off their feet. Instead, to let someone else do this hard job, someone who
cares about their childrens future more than they care about themselves, parents. According to
Sita, parents do not constrain their children to marry a person they find unacceptable (128). In
other words, an agreement wont come to a conclusion unless the child accepts who they will be
arranged with. In Serenas observations, she had noticed that parents are quite picky with whom
their children should be arranged with. Although one candidate might seem prestigious and have
factors in which is pleasant, theres always one detail they do not like. It could either be: too fat,
too short, too tall, too busy, too independent, etc. Factors such as a women being too independent
and going to the big city by herself is a sign that she will be too busy to visit family and in India
family is important. The girls ability to get along with the family is the single most important
quality in evaluating her suitability to be wed (130).

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Like Dating, But Already Married:
Anjali Mansukhani, an Indian women, talks about her journey marrying a total stranger in
India. Her, now, husband is an Indian wall street banker raised in America and lives in New York,
are now both a married couple from two different worlds. She was raised in India, which ways of
dealing with cooking, laundry and pesky neighbors were part of her daily routine to become a
perfect Indian wife. Though she was college-educated, she had no interest in letting her parents
find her a match just yet, countless suitors had an interest in her by the age of 20, but she would
turn them all away because they were too fat, too short or too boring. Until she had turned 26,
then she understood that the train was departing and she needed to get on it fast before it
completely leaves. This was the time where her parents heard of a bachelor from America who
was visiting his family in India. She found his demeanor pleasant and his presence made her fall
for him, so a week later both mothers talked over the phone and they were engaged. Their
wedding consisted of 6 days of partying with the religious ceremony, social gatherings, feasting,
music and Bollywood-style dancing which required a different outfit, jewelry, hairdo and
makeup each day (Mansukhani). After they took their vows, she moved to New York, acquiring a
different lifestyle than that of in India, she was learning how to use the washing machine. Soon
after being alone in the house while her husband went to work, she found ways to kill her
boredom by taking a spin class at the gym, or doing yoga. Everywhere she went she would make
new friends and they were intrigued by her story; One of her officemates claimed: Its nice to
have a spiritual and family connection with your husband, rather than one that begins in a bar
and ends with sex (Mansukhani). Anjali thanks her parents for arranging her union with her
husband, by stating:

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I firmly believe that our marriage works because it is blessed and supported by our
families. The strength we get from their advice helps us overcome difficult times. Had I
found my own mate, Im sure my parents would have come around, but Id have to live
knowing that they wouldnt be truly emotionally invested in the success of the marriage
(Mansukhani).
Power to the Parents:
Indian women thank their parents for finding the suitable bachelor whom their kids will
be marrying and spending the rest of their lives with. Countless of American women may argue
with this so called opposition, but they have not given the chance to hear out a women who has
had an arranged marriage. The marvelous story of their love and how it keeps on growing every
single day. Society today is more modern that how it was hundreds of years ago, in which we
coexist with different cultures from all over the world. Arranged marriages are mysterious and
gives excitement to know your spouse as the years go by. Our minds may not comprehend how
customs are with other cultures, but our curiosity lets us hear the untold love story of women
from different countries like India, in which their spouse is picked out for them by their loving
parents.

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Works Cited
"Divorce Rate in India." Divorce Rate in India. Web. 29 Oct. 2015.
Hirschberg, Stuart. One World, Many Cultures. Ninth ed. New York: Macmillan Pub., 1992.
127-135. Print.
Mansukhani, Anjali. "I Married a Total Stranger." Marie Claire. 26 Oct. 2007. Web. 29 Oct.
2015.