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4 Demonstrate
understanding of interpersonal skills used
to enhance relationships
5 credits, internally assessed

Personal and Interpersonal

Skills for Enhancing
Relationships continued
Todays focus
Listening skills

Why is it important to be a good listener?

Where do you need to use good listening


RLM Chinese Whispers

Intro to listening

Good listening skills help people to make and keep

good relationships, that are richer and more satisfying.

When a person is listened to, they feel that the

other person understands them and that what
they have to say is important.

People who are poor listeners generally talk rather than

listen. They have only a limited interest in other
peoples needs and opinions. Poor listeners can be
isolated and lonely, without realising why other people
are not wanting their company or confiding in them

An effective listener
Looks, sounds, feels like? Lets brainstorm


An effective

Shows they care and makes the speaker feel

Recognises that persons beliefs and

experiences are valid and important.

Understands other peoples needs, and what

pleases, upsets, or irritates them.

They ensure information is received fully

and accurately from the speaker

They can help to lessen conflict by

anticipating problems or work through

solutions with them.
Listening effectively to another person who

is expressing their thoughts and

feelings is an important part of building
and maintaining relationships.(Link back
to learning assessment

Non-verbal Communication
When the listener uses actions other than spoken
statements to show they are listening to the
person who is speaking.

Eye contact maintain in a relaxed and attentive way

Body posture relaxed, upright, slight forward lean to indicate

interest. Be reasonably close, but do not invade speakers
personal space.

Head and Facial Movements/Minimal encourages

occasional nods, smiling appropriately, trying to match speakers

Vocal Quality - Warm, matching that of the speaker.

Personal Habits - Avoid fiddling with pen, hair, and so on.

Cultural Differences - Sensitivity needed. For example, in some

Non-verbal video 3YxXsQMAvWg

Start form 004

Watch again what was good about his non-verbal

communication? What could have been improved

What does this video say about our non-verbal

Home challenge


When the listener

uses spoken
statements to show
that they
understand the
Minimal encouragers
person who is
The listener makes noises such as mmmm, yes, yeah so that the
speaker knows they are being heard.
Reflected feelings

The listener makes a short statement to show the speaker they

understand their feelings or that they are checking to see what
the speakers feelings are, e.g. that must have left you feeling
frustrated or so youre feeling really excited about that?

The listener summarises the main points of what the speaker has
said without repeating everything.
Asking Open questions

Open questions start with words like why did you .. when

Real vs Pseudo
Real Listening
The way you listen is to do with your intent.
You really listen when you want to:

understand someone

enjoy something with someone

learn something from someone

help or comfort someone

Pseudo listening
When you want:
to be liked or avoid rejection
a particular piece of information but can ignore the

to take time to think about something else, or think

what to say next

the other person to listen to you next
to find a weak point to use against the person
to be thought of as polite/kind/helpful
to avoid hurting or upsetting someone

Can pseudo listening still look like this?

Lets put what we are learning about into practise.


In pairs 2 mins of talking, 1 being a bad listener, the

other talking about what they did on the weekend.

Blocks to listening
COMPARING - (who is
smarter, or has had a worse
MIND-READING - (what is
she/he really thinking?)

IDENTIFYING (making links to

your own experience)
ADVISING (planning other

EHEARSING (planning what to

sy next)

SPARRING (looking for

disagreement, using putdowns)

FILTERING (listening only for

certain information)

DETAILING (changing the

subject, joking inappropriately)

JUDGING (pre-judging, writing

the other person off)

PLACATING (agreeing with

everything, but having no real

DREAMING (drifting to another

time, place, or event)

ANALYSING (trying to develop

your own ideas about others
needs or intentions)

Effective listening

develops empathetic
relationships between
people. It involves
trying to understand
how other people feel
and think. This can
require listeners to set
aside their own needs
and beliefs, and pay
attention to other
peoples views, without
attempting to judge or
change these views.

Lets practise Chinese whispers again.