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1.

4 Demonstrate
understanding of interpersonal skills used
to enhance relationships
5 credits, internally assessed

Personal and Interpersonal


Skills for Enhancing
Relationships continued
Todays focus
Listening skills

Why is it important to be a good listener?


Where do you need to use good listening

skills?

RLM Chinese Whispers

Intro to listening

Good listening skills help people to make and keep


good relationships, that are richer and more satisfying.

When a person is listened to, they feel that the


other person understands them and that what
they have to say is important.

People who are poor listeners generally talk rather than


listen. They have only a limited interest in other
peoples needs and opinions. Poor listeners can be
isolated and lonely, without realising why other people
are not wanting their company or confiding in them

An effective listener
Looks, sounds, feels like? Lets brainstorm

together!

An effective
listener

Shows they care and makes the speaker feel

valued
Recognises that persons beliefs and

experiences are valid and important.


Understands other peoples needs, and what

pleases, upsets, or irritates them.


They ensure information is received fully

and accurately from the speaker


They can help to lessen conflict by

anticipating problems or work through


solutions with them.
Listening effectively to another person who

is expressing their thoughts and


feelings is an important part of building
and maintaining relationships.(Link back
to learning assessment

Non-verbal Communication
When the listener uses actions other than spoken
statements to show they are listening to the
person who is speaking.

Eye contact maintain in a relaxed and attentive way

Body posture relaxed, upright, slight forward lean to indicate


interest. Be reasonably close, but do not invade speakers
personal space.

Head and Facial Movements/Minimal encourages


occasional nods, smiling appropriately, trying to match speakers
mood.

Vocal Quality - Warm, matching that of the speaker.

Personal Habits - Avoid fiddling with pen, hair, and so on.

Cultural Differences - Sensitivity needed. For example, in some

Non-verbal video
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v= 3YxXsQMAvWg

Start form 004


Watch again what was good about his non-verbal

communication? What could have been improved


on?
What does this video say about our non-verbal

communication?
Home challenge

Verbal

When the listener


uses spoken
statements to show
that they
understand the
Minimal encouragers
person who is
The listener makes noises such as mmmm, yes, yeah so that the
speaking.
speaker knows they are being heard.
Reflected feelings

The listener makes a short statement to show the speaker they


understand their feelings or that they are checking to see what
the speakers feelings are, e.g. that must have left you feeling
frustrated or so youre feeling really excited about that?
Paraphrasing

The listener summarises the main points of what the speaker has
said without repeating everything.
Asking Open questions

Open questions start with words like why did you .. when

Real vs Pseudo
listening
Real Listening
The way you listen is to do with your intent.
You really listen when you want to:

understand someone

enjoy something with someone

learn something from someone

help or comfort someone

Pseudo listening
When you want:
to be liked or avoid rejection
a particular piece of information but can ignore the

rest
to take time to think about something else, or think

what to say next


the other person to listen to you next
to find a weak point to use against the person
to be thought of as polite/kind/helpful
to avoid hurting or upsetting someone

Can pseudo listening still look like this?

Activity
Lets put what we are learning about into practise.

Go.

In pairs 2 mins of talking, 1 being a bad listener, the


other talking about what they did on the weekend.

Blocks to listening
COMPARING - (who is
smarter, or has had a worse
experience?)
MIND-READING - (what is
she/he really thinking?)

IDENTIFYING (making links to


your own experience)
ADVISING (planning other
solutions)

EHEARSING (planning what to


sy next)

SPARRING (looking for


disagreement, using putdowns)

FILTERING (listening only for


certain information)

DETAILING (changing the


subject, joking inappropriately)

JUDGING (pre-judging, writing


the other person off)

PLACATING (agreeing with


everything, but having no real
involvement)

DREAMING (drifting to another


time, place, or event)

ANALYSING (trying to develop


your own ideas about others
needs or intentions)

Empathy
Effective listening

develops empathetic
relationships between
people. It involves
trying to understand
how other people feel
and think. This can
require listeners to set
aside their own needs
and beliefs, and pay
attention to other
peoples views, without
attempting to judge or
change these views.

Lets practise Chinese whispers again.