In Search of Love,

A Book of Poems
by Rex Erwin

In Search of Love

In Search of Love
Copyright 2010 by Rex Erwin
All rights reserved.
Volume 1, Issue 1
This edition published by
Up The Hill Publishing
Published in the United States of America. No
portion of this book may be reproduced, stored in a
retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by
means
electronic,
mechanical,
photocopy,
recording, or any other-except for brief quotations
in printed reviews, without the prior written
permission of the publisher.

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Table of Contents
My Heart 01
My Heart 02
Rose and Butterfly
In Search of Love 01
In Search of Love 02
A Plea for Mercy
Lost My Youth
Obsessions of Love
Its The Smaller Things
Passionate Fields of Love
The Shoeshine Man
A Prayer for You
Chasing Dreams
-* Caution *Thank You
Youre a Dream

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My Heart 01
In as much as I sit here in the stillness, not
knowing what to say, without any words to
explain how I feel, only knowing that I love you,
and hoping that you love me too, for this I pray.
When I examine myself, and feel the things that I
feel, I most definitely am afraid that the things
that I think and feel are sometimes stronger in
my heart than in yours. I can only pray that the
feelings in your heart are as sincere to you as
they are to me. I think of you with such passion
from deep inside of my essence.
"A deeper thought."
A bird in flight without concern for all the
dangers that lurk on the ground. A flower in a
field in full bloom, expressing all of her dainty
shades of brilliance, cautiously dipping in the
wind, with no embarrassment for the way that she
is.
A majestic mountain standing so proud lightly
covered with a blanket of snow, so strong and
bold.
The timeless flight of a butterfly gently fluttering
in the wind from daisy to daisy.
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An infant fawn taking its first steps, and the

mother watching with pride, then gently
nurturing her young one.
A beautiful melody that inspires you to weep. A
song that drives you to feel the things that you are
apprehensive to write about, because nobody will
understand, and then make fun of you.
With every consideration and warm feeling that I
have for you, there is a love song in my heart.
Rex Erwin 9-26-92

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MY HEART 02
In as much as I sit here in the stillness, not
knowing what to say, without any words to
explain how I feel, only knowing that I love you,
and hoping that you love me too. For this, I pray.
When I examine myself, and feel the things that I
feel, I most definitely am afraid that the things
that I think and feel, are sometimes stronger in
my heart than yours. I can only pray that the
feelings in your heart are as sincere to you as
they are to me. I think of you with such passion,
from deep within my being.
With every consideration, and warm feeling that I
have for you, there is a love song in my heart.
Rex Erwin 02-14-96

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The poem "My Heart ," is a very special poem

to me. It was first written in August of 1992. "My

Heart 02 " is basically the same as "My Heart

01 " except that it was a little longer with a few

qualities that are more descriptive. This copy was
rewritten for a friend of mine who now has gone
to be with the Lord. Her name was Kay, and she
was very sick. She had had both of her kidneys
removed and had been on dialysis for many
years.
It was Valentines Day 1996, and she had
expressed that she loved all of my poems, but that
"My Heart" was her favorite. She asked if I
could shorten it just a little, and then turn it into
a card so that she could give it to her husband. So
I did, and I must say that I like it better.
Kay was an incredible Christian. She had a love
for God unlike any other person that I have ever
known. She died just a few short months after
that. One of the best memories that I have of Kay
was taking her out and letting her drive my car.
She loved to drive, but because of her condition,
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she could only be unplugged for a short time

from that machine.

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ROSE AND

BUTTERFLY

You are a rose in a valley. I am a butterfly on a

mountaintop. There were miles of time between
us. As I looked into the valley and beheld your
beauty, such as none that I have ever seen. It was
the way the wind moved you. You went from side
to side, and to and fro, and still you stayed
grounded always facing the Son.
Your beauty shines so bright and sparkles, as
though a dewdrop was on your petals, and the
Son shone through and enlightened your colors
as though your personality was a rainbow, they
shined bright and bold. As I lifted off to fly
toward you, the wind caught my wings and
shoved me high in the air. I became chilled, so I
focused on the Son. He warmed me, and seemed
to give me strength. I soared higher than ever.
Then at last my journey was over. I landed beside
my rose and beheld her beauty. It was worth the
flight through the wind. It took miles of time, but
I made it. I just focused on the Son for direction
strength, but it was when I landed next to you
that the Son really warmed my heart.
Rex Erwin 3-8-85

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The poem "Rose and Butterfly " was the first

poem that I took seriously as a writer. I wanted to
express to a woman that I cared for her, that she
was special to me, but not as many other men
would do. I had been writing for a while, but
never before had I ever tried to get someone's
attention with my words in a way that might bring
me happiness because of the happiness that the
words that I wrote might bring to someone else.
The game was, "To win her affection," but I
failed miserably. She liked the poem, but was not
even remotely interested in me romantically.
O'well, you win some and you lose some, but
honestly, I learned a great deal about myself as a
writer, and as a person. I had been closed up
inside for most of my life, and now I was learning
to express myself on a different level.
It is good to grow!!!

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IN SEARCH OF LOVE 01
You are incredible as you sit silently; I wonder
what you could be thinking of. Do you care, or
are you just there? I do wonder as I gaze into
your eyes.
You are so beautiful, I just cannot believe you are
real. The feelings that I feel just explode into
passion, I just want to hold you, and hold you.
What is the beauty that I see in you?
It's when you snuggle with a blanket, or when
you softly look into my eyes; your eyes, so soft
and beautiful. It's the way you smile when your
eyes meet mine, my heart pounds, and my
stomach twitches. It's when I make a joke, and
you say that I'm silly.
What is the beauty that I see in you?
Just when I thought that nobody cared, you came
along and picked me up. You paid attention to
me. It's the way your skin feels, so soft and fine.
Or the way that your lips meet mine when we
kiss, I want it to last, not just a moment, but for a
lifetime.
If I were to lose you, it would be this, "All of your
beauty,
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I would miss."
In search of love
Rex Erwin 10-26-87

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IN SEARCH OF LOVE 02
What is the beauty that I see in you?
Ice cream, candy, and apple pie, all these so sweet
and beautiful, I see them in your eyes.
What is the beauty that I see in you?
It's when I felt all alone; you came into my life,
my heart wavered heavy, fear and confusion, and
the felling that was so incomplete, all this just
melted from a smile so tender and sweet.
What is the beauty that I see in you?
When there were no words to be said, you knew
my thoughts, held my hand, smiled, and nodded
your head. What an answered prayer.
What is the beauty that I see in you?
It is the way that a butterfly belongs to a flower,
and a flower to a butterfly, or the way that a cool
breeze blows through your hair on a hot
summers day, or watching two soft and furry
puppies play. The thought of love is in your heart,
you know just what to say.
What is the beauty that I see in you?
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It's when you snuggle with a blanket, so soft, or

when I tell a joke, and you say that I am silly. It's
your eyes, the way that they twinkle when they
meet mine. It's your smile, so heavenly divine.
What is the beauty that I see in you?
It's the way that your skin feels, so very fine. It's
the way that your lips feel when you touch yours
to mine. It's the way that you have made my life
feels, so right and complete. Answered prayer.
What is the beauty that I see in you?
It's all these things right and true, I tell you from
my heart of just how I feel for you. If I was to
lose you, it would be this, all of your beauty I
would miss.
In search of love.
Rex Erwin 04-18-88

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The poems "In Search Of Love" 1 and 2 have

different meanings to almost everybody that reads
them.
The first poem was written as an expression or a
statement of love for someone.
The second poem I felt would flow better if it
were more poetic and rhyming. I think that they
are both a fundamental truth of what most people
are seeking in life. We are, or at least most of us
are looking for love unconditionally from that
special person whoever he or she might be.
When we have the opportunity to spend time with
the person that God intends us to be with, I
imagine it would be quite incredible.
I still haven't found Mrs. Right, but I am
confident that she does exist. One day I hope to
be able to share all of these desires and feeling
with her, but for now,
I'm still in the race

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A PLEA FOR MERCY

My heart is pounding and hurting so bad without
mercy, I just can't stand it any longer, but I must
go on. How can one live a life feeling so empty? I
know that I have Christ, but even He knows that
isn't enough. I don't think that it would be too
hard to realize how Adam must have felt empty
and all alone with no one as his mate. When God
realized this, He said that it isn't good for man to
be alone.
So, God created the perfect mate for Adam. Flesh
of his flesh, and bone of his bone. So, I ask you to
think for a moment "Is it wrong to long for a
mate, someone to talk to and to share your life
with, to care for, and to be cared for?" On all of
those special nights to be held, and to hold. To
share those deep and personal thoughts with,
knowing that the person that you have chosen
will understand, and accept the things that you
think and feel.
It is as if I had only half a body cut down the
center from head to toe. None of the life-giving
blood can flow through my body with only half a
heart. Then magically when our two bodies come
together and become as one and our two hearts
are joined together
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Only then, can our blood flow freely throughout

our body, making us whole.
For this I have prayed for years...
Rex Erwin 1-11-94

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The poem "A Plea For Mercy ," I have been

told that it is a favorite by many of my readers,
while still some are offended by the references to
God. I think that sometimes there is nothing that
one can do to make everybody happy. To tell you
the truth, that is not my responsibility. I write
what I write from my heart, either because there
is someone that I feel connected to, and would
like to convey to them that I care for them, or
because there is something on my heart that I feel
I need to share with the world.
Sometimes the things that I white are very strong
with words, and the feelings are not always
received with the same thought that I intended.
As with this poem, I feel that it is true, and to
most people that have ever been in love with
someone deep from their heart, I feel that they
might agree.

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LOST MY YOUTH
When I was young, life itself was free, up for the
taking. No worries of the future, had all the time
of the world, in a single day. Securities came
from within. I was bold with nothing to fear.
Losing a friend wasn't worth a tear. Time was
immeasurable. There would always be new
people, new places, and new boundless loves. My
body would refresh itself nightly, rest came so
easily. Looking back in my past, would I dare
change a thing? I think not!
For without all of these concerns for life, I would
have grown to be not the man that I am today, but
a solemn man without passion, ungrateful for
what life now has to offer. Without my past
experiences that made me who it is that I am
today, I wouldn't have learned what to pray...
I've learned to love and to except the pains that
life has to offer.
So to say that I've lost my youth, that might be
true, but I've gained my future with fond
memories of the past, and with regrets, and love
of life, I will go on.
Rex Erwin 02-14-94

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The poem "Lost My Youth " was written at a

time in my life, when I no longer felt invincible. I
know that most people have felt the same
experiences in their lives at some point. To most
people this is a time where they realize "I will
never get it back, "Youth."" I was once told that
I was immature to think that it was okay to have
regrets, "I disagreed." After all, not to have a
regret or two, how can one learn to be a better
person because of the mistakes that we feel we
have made?
Life itself is a learning process through which we
gain wisdom from the mistakes of others, as well
as our selves, that is of course if we apply what it
is we have learned. One thing that I have learned
above everything else is, "Life goes on"

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OBSESSIONS OF LOVE

To be in love can be especially confusing at times,

we don't always quite know how to act or feel...
One doesn't always respond in a way that is
sensitive, to the feelings of the ones that they are
with. We are often selfish and totally blind to the
genuine needs of others... We as people, most of
the time, can only do for others the things that we
have been taught, unless it is something that we
do to get attention... To feel good about ourselves,
or to relieve some sort of guilt.
I must ask why are we so self-centered, so
unwilling to look deeply into the souls of others,
to see their hurts, their needs, and their desires.
Must we always do just for ourselves, what feels
good to us? Self-gratification, without first doing
for others... The things that they need... Or
paying attention to how they feel. First, let me say
that it is normal for us to be this way, but we
don't have to stay in this state of mind. To do so
would be typical of humanity... And that is not
true love.
What is true love? "What love really is..." Love is
more than just a feeling.
"It is a choice."
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A reaction to a need to satisfy all of the needs...

Wants, and desires of the Ones that you say that
you love... A genuine desire for the wellbeing of
the people around you, particularly the Ones
closest to you.
It is more than just vocalizing the words, "I love
you," For the words themselves can be as an
empty shell... With only the sounds of the wind
echoing past. It has to come from the heart... Not
just superficially, but from every cell that makes
up what your heart is... That is where love is
from.
Every fiber of our being should be used to give
love to our partner in a relationship. I know that
it is hard to always react in such a manner, but it
can be done most of the time, always
remembering that our partner is having the same
difficulties as you are, so as to be tolerant and
forgiving of their shortcomings.
In life, love will overcome our desire to judge
others, in the ways that are not fair, but as we
would like to be judged, to be patient, kind, and
forgiving without being jealous, resentful, and
full of envy... We should always be proud of each
others accomplishments in a way that would be
uplifting to our mate.

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There is something magical about being forgiving

of the things that our mate does, not only from
the past, but also the thing that they do to us right
here and now. How can I judge you for the past,
because I also have a past, and to not forgive you
for something that you may do, would not only be
harmful to your feelings, but mine as well?
We have so little time to go around with such
resentment and unforgiveness. I would rather
find the good aspects of our relationship so as to
help us grow stronger with each other, facing our
problems together, searching for new ways to
make each other smile and be happy.
It is not just a fairy tale out of some old book that
makes us so good together, but rather, it is our
desire to be with each other... To satisfy each
other in every aspect of our lives. To hold you in
my arms feels right... It makes all my worries go
away. I feel safe in your arms... I can see and feel
your pain as well as your desires for me. I am
truly grateful for you being who you are as a
person... I lose sleep when you're not around. Not
just because youre not there, but because I
desire to see your tender smile... The way that
your eyes make my body tremble and go weak...
With every breath that I take... Every heartbeat, I
long to be close to you again... I don't want to
possess you as some sort of object, but rather to
possess the passion that we have for each other in
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my mind to remember you with, and in my heart

to feel you with, whether we are apart or together,
my passions and desires are with you.
Obsessions of love, at least for me are what make
me who I am... I am a person that would give
freely of whatever I have, just so you would be
happy... To give you my coat, so you would be
warm... To go hungry so that you wouldn't have
to is my gift to you... You have no idea how happy
it makes me to give of myself, unselfishly, so that
you will be fulfilled... That's who I am. To ask the
things that nobody has ever asked. To do the
things that nobody has ever done for you before
is for me a thrill as well as a treat...
I love to make you happy... I love you
Rex Erwin 8/14/95

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The poem "Obsessions of Love ", Well, it was

my attempt to say all that there is to say to a
person that I could care for as well as to relay to
them that there is a genuine desire to be with
them no matter what. So many people are full of
mistrust and wouldnt know what unconditional
love was because most of us "not all" think that
there are always alternative motives to the actions
of others. This is a sad fact. What does it take to
trust someone? That depends on the individual. I
hope that the readers of this poem will take the
time to ponder the question, "What does it mean
to love, to trust, and to give of ourselves
unconditionally." There is more to a relationship
than just how we feel. There are the feelings of
others, and there are sacrifices that we should
make to help others that we care about feel
wanted, loved, and that they are a person that
matters.

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It's The Smaller Things

When your eyes follow me across the room,

desire steaming from your glowing face. Your
glances warm my heart. When I sneak a look and
notice that you are watching as well. You look
away knowing that you were caught, then
seductively you slowly look up at me with a subtle
smile, as if to say, " I need you now." Our
combined stares are an entanglement of passion.
This is for me a dream come true...
When I'm walking along side of you, and our
hands lightly touch in stride. The magic tingles
throughout our entire bodies. It's when I touch
your face with a longing, then pull you into my
arms. Our chests touching, and our bodies burn,
wanting to be closer than we are... When a single
kiss causes our hearts to quiver in excitement, out
of breath, a dry mouth, and almost out of control,
wanting this moment to last...
When we are sitting on the bed, barley clothed
and wanting, and yet our conversation is not
interrupted from a playful touch. Desires
building, but not shaken from what we have to
say, always listening to every word, without an
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awaited response. Eagerly awaiting your next

word, or touch, from your tender lips.
It's the smaller things that I love... The way you
smell, or the way you look in the mornings not
quite awake. Your touch, your voice, the
sensation of your face next to mine. Running my
fingers through you hair, or you touching mine.
Your lips while embraced in a kiss are suppler
than anything God has ever made.
Oh how I love the simple things we share.
Rex Erwin 07-26-1997

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The poem "It's The Smaller Things " was a

poem that I wrote to express a very personal way
of telling someone that they are thought of in a
very special way. I was once told that it was
pornography, but while I do not think that it is a
poem that would be appropriate for very young
readers, I do not think it is a distasteful writing.
It relates the feelings that married people might
express to each other. That they are thought of in
more than just the everyday ways. What are the
reasons that we love? Can we ever say that there
is just one thing that make us feel the way that we
feel for each other? I do not believe this to be
true. The feelings that we share for each other
should be the sum of who we are. It is all things
important, as well as the smaller things we share.

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PASSIONATE FIELDS OF LOVE

Theres a wind blowing amidst a meadows brook.
Time passes so gently as you stand beside that tree
I dare not breathe, as I steel a look, how
insignificant I feel, and yet I am full of love and
passion because of the beauty that I see in you.
Time is immeasurable in my heart, without
apprehension or fear for how I feel for you
Let me set the stage for you
Its a warm summers day, there is a slight breeze
caring the scent of wild flowers and honey sickle
through the air. Small delicate clouds of infinite
shapes pass overhead. We are in a field surrounded
by majestic mountains and passionate lofty trees.
The field is filled with knee high tall grass shaped
like small wheat and wild flowers, growing among
the rest of Gods beautiful creation. There is a
stream flowing from one of the mountains in the
East, winding its way passed us on its journey to
the sea. Theres a sound of the wind gently
blowing over the tall trees and though the grass.
The sound of the stream rushing by, hopping over
the rocks in a race to the sea. "Oh how I desire you
to be there with me." I was there under a small
oak, watching the stream ripple passed, justa day
dreaming of you Watching a Robin on the shore
with no concern for the Eagle overhead, for you
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see, they live here in peace and contentment with

each other, unconditionally excepting each other
for how they are. A tiny gray Fox jumping high in
the air, frolicking about chasing the bouncing
butterflies.
And so thats how it is in my heart for you. Theres
a meadow of love stretching from side to side in
my heart protected by the everlasting mountains of
love, that keep the temptations and doubt from
polluting that beautiful stream of love heading to
the sea which is you my love. Once my heart
reaches the sea, I will walk with you along that
sandy beach, hand in hand. Oh, that tiny gray Fox,
jumping high in the air, is actually my heart racing
when I look into your eyes fluttering like that
Butterfly, so beautiful and enchanting.
My life would be complete as it is when the Sun
falls into the sea at the end of that magnificent day.
I would have you to hold throughout the night as is
the rest of our lives, and so the rest of our days
would be, unconditionally loving each other,
always watching those beautiful sunsets of love.
I love you.
Rex Erwin 3-14-94

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The poem "Passionate Fields Of Love " holds

mixed feelings for me. It was written for a lady
that I loved too much, if that is possible. I have
heard of this kind of feelings being felt for people
by a few of my friends, but it is very rare. It hurt!
I was obsessed by the feelings for this person. I felt
ill when I was away from her for even a short time.
Nothing in life mattered except finding a way to be
with her again. I dont have any explanation for
how I felt other than I dont feel that it was
healthy.
I still long to feel those feeling again, but with a
little bit more self-control over the obsession.
Maybe one can feel these kinds of things without it
overwhelming them. She used me to make her ex
jealous, and when I went to give her this poem, she
broke up with me before I had a chance to give it
to her. I gave it to her anyway, told her that I loved
her, and left crying, never to see her again. She
moved. Ouch

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THE SHOESHINE MAN

There once was a man that shined shoes in the
mens room of an exclusive downtown office
building. He was a humble man, good-hearted, and
always ready to do anyone a favor. People did not
think of him as a particularly smart man, but just
as an honest, hard worker beneath them in social
standing.
One day while shinning two gentlemens shoes, he
overheard them talking about special deals in
stocks and bonds, which would probably pay off
well, at the end of the quarter. After he finished
with the shoes of the second man, they tossed a
dollar into his gift jar, and started to leave. The
Man said to the two of them, "Have a great day,
but they just kept on going without a single
recognition or goodbye.
A Couple of days later, the same two gentlemen
came by for another shoeshine. Again, while they
were discussing the kinds of investments they were
working on, the Man just listened. When he
finished the second gentlemens shoes, they put a
dollar into his gift jar. As they were stepping
down to leave, one of them knocked the Man over,
and glared at him as they told him to watch what
he was doing. Without any effort to help the Man
up, the turned and left.
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The Man being a thrifty and crafty old man had

saved his money for more years than they were
old. He took his money and invested it in the very
stocks that the two gentlemen were discussing.
Sure enough, it paid off very well. In fact, it paid
off so well that he was able to buy almost half of
the ownership in the building and business where
he and the two men worked.
He never mentioned it to them, but just kept on
faithfully shinning their shoes. He saw to it that
they received generous raises without explanation,
because he was so grateful to the two men.
Well as usual, the two men came in for their
shoeshine, and he was all too happy to wait on
them. They could never figure out why this Man
was always so cheerful. Actually, they despised
the old Man in their hearts because they thought of
him as a loser in a dead-end job.
They never did learn that he was their landlord and
employer.
The End
Rex Erwin 2-3-96

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The story "The Shoeshine Man " was my first

attempt in a very long time to write a story that
wasnt based on love or at least a romantic love.
True, the man depicted in this story did share a
genuine love, a godly love for the people around
him, even if they might not have deserved it.
I wanted to show how I felt God wanted us to be
with each other. What does it mean to be truly
humble? God said three things in His word that I
have tried to express here. Forgiveness, respect,
and doing for others even when they are taking
advantage of you, or abusing you as a person.
I still feel that I have a lot to learn from the person
in this story, so I will keep on trying to be like the
man Jesus, and maybe with hope, the world will be
a better place.
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A Prayer For You

When I was young, without a real family, I longed
for love, and yet always remaining alone. A prayer
was sent for you, answered prayer from a youth, I
long to see. Not yet answered until our paths are
complete, Gods love, oh how sweet.
Your face has been in my dreams night and day.
Ive longed to hold you, and hear the words you
say "I love you," from your heart to me, how I
pray for this to be.
The two joined here with joy. I have dreamed of
you as a boy.
God hears our prayers, and fulfills our every need.
I have prayed for you night and day. I pray to God,
and this I plead
That He would deliver you to me, and our hearts
would be joined, forever, please let this be.
I have saved my love for you, and too you I will
give, forever, together, you and me
Please dont be afraid, if this is to be. For you and
I, as time passes, I and you, become a "We."
I have loved you from time gone past. Forever this
love for you, forever it will last
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Rex Erwin 4-4-96

The poem "A Prayer For You " was an example

to a teenage friend on how to express feelings as a
poem. He liked the way that I was able to put into
words the way I felt, and wanted me to try to teach
him how to do the same.
We talked a great deal about feelings and how we
express them either with actions or with words.
How words can be uplifting, or harmful depending
on how they are expressed.
I feel that one must have a love affair with words
in order to be able use them in such a way that
would move someone else to emotional responses.
We must always remember that words are very
powerful, and may cause a great deal of harm as
well as delight. So remember, you may never be
able mend the feelings from what you say, you can
never take the words back.

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Chasing Dreams
Time dances in front of our very eyes, always
looking, and rarely finding, afraid of losing the
dream before we die, time holds us in our dreams
as a constant binding.
We are always looking with a taunted held breath,
pronouncing our fears in the debris of life,
Do you know just what it is?
Without a stifle of thought, we ponder on.
Does life continue if we awake?
We want there to be more
Confusion, emptiness, being alone, the sound of
life, what a beautiful tone.
Thats what some would have us believe,
What a corrupt way of thinking,
Not I! A man in focus,
People make more of life than need be.
Fancy words, long-winded speeches,
What does it all mean?
Trust in God for all of your desires,
Then shake yourself, wake up, life is not a dream.
Rex Erwin 3-28-96

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The poem "Chasing Dreams " was in the making

for several years. Let me explain.
I wrote down the title and logged away the thought
for the poem in my mind with the intent of putting
it on paper one day.
Several years later, I finally decided to write it. I
knew what I wanted to say, but it ended up a little
different than I planned.
Isnt it funny how lives experiences can alter how
we think? I was in a different place in my life
when I wrote it than when I had the idea to write it.
So, it became more abstract than I planned. The
result was not at all unpleasing. In fact, I feel it
turned out with a great direction or twist to be
considered.

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- * Caution * Do Not Read If You Are Not An Intellectual !!!

"May Cause Confusion, And Or Permanent Brain
Damage."
In the city, people arent so real, they want to kill
you and take all they can steal. The days seem to
be so endless, hot, and smoggy that no one could
possibly breath. Why do we live here were we are
constantly under siege? Is there no end to this
madness? What or who can make a difference? In
this world, I know that its not me. I look for the
truths to separate the rights from the wrongs, but
with this world, the way that it is, everybody just
looks at me as if Im singing all the wrong songs. I
cannot believe that there isnt a way to feel and to
love as I did as a youth, when in the field, or just
going out to play. This world has changed to no
better end. The dogs of war go from country to
country, and shore to shore, doing this for money,
just as they have always done before.
Is there ever a way to be happy? Is there ever a
true friend? Peace, love, happiness, contentment,
and long life, Im looking for all these things
without all that other strife. Ive come a long way.
And there is such a long way yet to go, my dance
to the top is challenging and very slow. Then
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suddenly, as if in a dream, there You were. All my

worries passes. I no longer feel anger, and see all
the masses. My troubles are lifted, and my heart is
at peace. Im no longer standing in the streets. It is
as if my vision has been transformed into an
incredible new dimension. There are fields, trees,
peaceful streams, flowers, and butterflies, all living
in perfect harmony and contentment, at the way
the wind blows in their paths. Then suddenly, there
You were, standing in the midst of these strange
and beautiful things. As I look at You, and beheld
all of Your beauty, such as I have never seen
before, I began to tremble with the kind of fear that
a child would have, not knowing if You were real,
but afraid that You would disappear. As my gaze
widens, I start to compare You with all of the
surroundings, only to notice that Your beauty is
more refreshing than a breath of fresh air.
Lord Jesus, please come quickly.
Rex Erwin 8-4-92

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The poem " - * Caution * - ", is a poem of

anger, frustration, and optimism. It was written
during the LA riots, and was a direct result of a
personal experience that was not pleasant. The
details are not as important as the outcome.
Why must people harm and destroy other peoples
lives without a true understanding for their
actions? Why would people choose to destroy the
area in which they themselves live?
The fact that they choose to be so selfish is one
thing, but it causes a great deal of distrust with the
people that are around them, only making the
matter worse. No good can come from such
actions. We must try to help people to understand
this before it is too late. God help us all.

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Thank You
Everything in life has new meaning because of
you.
Passing by even the smallest of Gods beautiful
and delicate wild flowers remind me of how You
would care for even the Smallest concerns or
feelings that I might Experience.
Thank you for Your love and the joy that You have
enriched my life with.
My life would surely be unbearable without You.
Rex Erwin 7-5-98

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The poem "Thank You " is a gift to all that read

this book to bring them joy in any way that it does.
It may be something that you may wish to say to
someone that you love, or just a way to express
appreciation to someone special to you. Whatever
the case may be, I hope that you decide to give a
great deal of thought to how you can uplift the
ones around you, and give them support as they
need it. Care for and love one another.

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Youre a Dream

My lips quiver thinking of you. My heart pounds.

My breath is short and shallow. My mind races
with thoughts of your touch and smell. To look
you in the eyes, and feel my stomach twitch.
When?... When are we going to be in each others
arms, me running my rugged hand down your
back, and yet I gently caress you ear. To feel your
breath on my neck, and feel you slide your hands
up my chest. Your lips caressing my lips, and then
a gentle, playful bite. I tickle you till you fight me
off, then we hold each other in passion. You can
feel my desire for you... Your legs wrap around my
hips as I kiss you deeply. The feel of your tongue
hungers with mine. I feel your chest pressing in on
me as you slide up on me. I pull you closer and I
gently nibble on the soft skin of your stomach. I
rake my fingers up and down your back, and then
hold you tight. You sit on my lap holding me and
kissing me. your warmth can feel my throbbing
desire for you. Then the phone rings, and wakes
me from my dream, but it is you to my surprise,
and it was not lost into nothingness. There is still
hope... Just knowing you are there puts a seductive
desire in my heart.
Can I keep you?
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Love Rex 05-21-09

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Hold My Heart
Look here is my heart, its in your hands, please
hold it gently and don't squeeze it to tightly, when
my heart gets cold, will you please hold it close to
keep it warm, when it is afraid, will you please
comfort it. When it is bleeding, will you help the
bleeding stop?
Its my heart, and I place it in you charge, so
please hold it as your heart wants to be held, love it
like your heart desires to be loved, its yours, I
give it to you. I love you, and I always will, and I
wish to do the same for your heart.
Rex Erwin
Written 2 - 4 -2008

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A Moment in Time

There are moments in time when all we want is for

time to stand still, When I delivered my baby girl,
to see her come into this world was truly a thrill,
To see her breath her first breath, to see her first
smile, seeing my wife hold her for the first time,
Your first kiss to the person you love, the first time
you ever made love, your first childhood crush,
These are moments in time that we hold dear; in
our mind they are so clear, I thank our Father in
Heaven for moments like these.
I remember the first time my eyes were laid upon
your beautiful face, Wow it took my breath
away your beauty so unimaginable, that no one
could ever say. Knowing I have never ever seen
you for real, and knowing I probably never will,
makes my heart truly sad, But knowing your happy
and well, makes me glad, Knowing that there
really is a Father in Heaven, just knowing because
if Him, someday I will be blessed to really see you,
to hold you in my arms, and say Hi, These are all
moments in time, past, present and future, and I
hold them all so dear, I will never have you to love
and to hold, but just knowing you have made my
life richer,
If you are happy, and are kept well, both you and
your son, then I know my prayers has been
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answered And is He is not yet done, I know He is

watching over you and yours, and if we are to ever
meet, He will have to open the doors. I know that
my feelings are just in me, And that you could
never feel the same you see, for you have someone
to make your life complete, And with that, I could
never compete; He is without a doubt, the most
blessed man to ever breath, To see you and to hold
you, to hear your voice, and to share your life, Oh
what I wouldnt give if you were my wife,
although I know this will never be, Just the thought
of it make me happy, at least I will always have a
dream.
All of these thoughts are just moments in time; I
will cherish them because they are mine, No one
can take them from me, they are mine to keep, and
thanks to you, my life isnt as cheap. Fond
memories of you in the future or in the past, I will
keep them and they will last, these are all moment
in time, to love, to cherish, and are mine to keep.
You are my friend, and always will be, your smile,
your friendship, means so much to me.
Rex Erwin February, 14th, 2008

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