GENESIS: 19

Revision of masculinity, feminism, and androgyny

May 7, 2011
Orality, Langauge & Literacy

Clay Monson
Spring 2011
David Bleich

They be foolish an antiquated. The whole lot ofem, they be stupid if even they aint so
ancient. Leme tell you what those brothas gone try an done tuh us. Listen now, an you might
go an learn somethin. What they done, it wasnt right. I know, I know, the citys sick an the
citys digustin, but dat don make nothin any o them men did right. They travelers got no right
tuh come here, they men got no right tuh know us, dat Man got no right tuh do what he did.
Dat was our home, dat was ours aint nobody got no right tuh come take dat from us, an fo what
reasontuh try an teach some dumb ol men somethin and strike some fear inta them hard
heads of theirs. Leme tell you somethin else, no women could eva be so dumb as what them
men are. (Yeah, side from yo momma)Oh shut yo face, yo mothas dumb as a rock! (Yeah,
yo momma shouldda gone an stayed in dat fire, wouldda saved time an complainin)No shit.
Now, if you got time tuh listen, I got time tuh say our story the way it shouldda gone been said
befoe, you know, the right way. I gots the right tuh say it an Imma say it tuh anybody who gon
be listenin. Aint nobody goin stop me now.
What happen? These lone souls jus kinda appear outta nowheredon be askin me how
or why cause I dunno how or why or none of that; I wasnt there. But these fellas, they just
appear outta nowhere at the townline an who was there but mah good-fo-nothin-daddy. Then
he gone made his first mistake. He got down on his black hands an knees an start grovelin and
bowin tuh these mutha-fuckas, can you believe that? (Yeah, like some dog)worse!, Like some
dog dat aint got no dignity. So he got down on his black hands and knees and start beggin these
white fellas tuh come an grace us with they presence. (Some grace dat was)straight up. So
he axem an they clever mutha-fuckas an they say no. They say no, knowin all dat gonna do is
make mah daddy wantem more. Shonuff he axem gain, say he gonna wash they feet an
feedem fat. Real nice of him, offerin food dat momma gotta make, rooms I gotta clean like he

do; aint it? Mens prerogative fosho. Fo these white mutha-fuckas we gonna break out our
best food, best plate, best of everythin jus so they whiteness might fall offa them an cleanse the
house. Listen, the whole time they speak no words, not say nothin! They try starin like we some
book they think they can read (More like they lookin at us like some animals)nah we not been
good as dat, but they sho look disgusted. Not til dinner was ova did they say a lick, an even
then they only talk tuh mah daddy. No thank you very much, no food was great, no nothin
fo my momma. All I could hear was mah daddy kissin some white ass.
So what happen next? After dinner, the fat-ass mutha-fuckas get ready fo the night when
some punk-ass niggas encompass our house. They punk-ass selves start throwin rocks an shit at
our house tuh try an get ourtention. They gone been whoopin an hollerin, jeerin cause they
know we got some white mutha-fuckas in our house. Now, I don blame the niggas fo wantin
tuh embarrass them mutha-fuckas, hell if I had a dick I mighta too, but don be all ignant an
messin with some o yo kind. But I don have a dick, an Im blessed I don, cause them niggas
are hateful and shameful. Now mah daddy makes his second mistake. Mah daddy (the dumbfuck he is)the dumb-fuck he is, goes out tuh try an talk tuh these ignant niggas. They say tuh
him they wants tuh show them mutha-fuckas how tuh fuck. I know they wouldnt be thinkin
they so clever if it wasnt two or three niggas, but they was more an so they thought they was
clever as sin. An so they tell mah daddy they want tuh fuck them white mutha-fuckas an my
daddy says no. Now, they dint like dat much an they start pressin on mah daddy. They start
tuh remind mah daddy where he come from, how he come from somewhere else. So they say he
cant tellem no, cause he got no right tuh tellem dat, got no right to be nobody in the city. Mah
daddy dint like it, he neva say it tuh me, but I knows (An I too)uh-huh, we know he dint
like not havin no papers. He aint got no proof he sapose tuh be there, he cant be goin

showinem nothin dat got his name on it. So they niggas start tuh press on him, they start tuh say
he be jus as good as them mutha-fuckas. They say they gonna hurt him worse, an they start
pressin him up gainst the door.
But whachu think happen aint gone an happen. Mah daddy steada gettin fucked, o
lettin them mutha-fuckas be fucked, makes his final mistake. (He be despicable)now don say
dat (but he is, he be despicable an miserable)like a dog what aint got no dignity (like a
dog what aint got no fuckin dignity)so mah daddy makes his final mistake, he goes an offers
the punk-ass niggas us. He goes an tellsem we virgin (Fresh pussy)fresh pussy dat cant get
no fresher. He goes an tellsem they niggas can have us, do us, fuck usjus so long as he no
his precious mutha-fuckas don get pricked. Now, the sick fucka neva axd me (No me)neva
axd neither one of us, so how he know we want tuh put ourselves on the line fo him? How he
know we want tuh lay on our backs fo them mutha-fuckas? Leme tell you, an Imma tell you
straightImma tell you the truth. Them men, they make excuses like its they right, o wes they
property an we gotta do what they say cause they own us. But Imma tell you straight, wes our
own people (Damn straight)we aint no property (Tellem gurl)we aint saposed tuh do jackshit sonjack-shit. So how mah daddy know?He dint. Aint the nigga neva known cause
we neva did wanna lay on our backs (Word)the good word. An what happen tuh me (What
happen tuh us)what happen tuh me an mah beautiful sista (Thank you)was miserable an
was forced.
Now, what happen was when mah daddy offerd at first the men jus laughed and
laughed. The niggas laughed at the crazy black man, who wasnt in no position tuh make offers.
An so they keep on pressin him up on the door. The mutha-fuckas, seein this, gone an made
out to grab us an start tuh pull us tuh the door. No mount of no kicking an sratchin no yellin

gone did me any good. So hard as I fight, so hard as the two o us fight the mutha-fuckas we jus
cant never win. All-a-sudden a mutha-fucka pulls open the door, pulls mah daddy in an boots
the two ous out on our black asses jus as lone an defenseless as the day we been born. They
niggas don know what tuh do. Jus as sudden as we thrown on our ass they mutha-fuckas gone
took mah daddy away. They niggas start fumin, they buildin all sorts ostuff they aint ready tuh
deal with like they voices and they fists an then the niggas look at me an her. They stare jus
like them mutha-fuckas done, an they thinkin (We know they thinkin)bout how tuh fuck our
daddy an how an what they gonna do tuh us. Now, don be givinme none odat shit bout them
getting tuh know us. There wasnt none odat free an easy talkin dat lovers do when they be
lookin tuh keep things happy. Jus cause they niggas think they can say they better, they can
write they better, they think they are better. They think they can take what they want but what
aint theirs to take. They think only they thoughts are important. They think they powerful,
maybe they think they merciful, but they shonuff aint thinkin true cause owhat they done (it
aint right)it damned well aint right. They took us, but they gone left our clothes on the
ground. They took us, but they left our dignity in some giant trash-heap fo things that been
abandoned (Nah, for things dat aint neva existed). Maybe we been lucky tuh been taken from
behind dat way we might lie bout how nasty the nigga coulda been, or how dumb or old or
anythin (But the truth is they niggas aint none of those things. They jus lil boys)jus lil boys
who got brought up in the wrong settin is all. Jus lil boys who learned ta fight befo they
learned to speak, or love, or write. They speak with they fists and they dicks. An anything they
get they hands on gonna know what they mean (they mean they want powa, an tuh neva' let it
go)So they gone took our powah, so they think, (They think they stronger)an they scream
back loud and proud tuh mah daddy after all is done, and we is done too. They niggas give us

back tuh mah daddy, and hes sad, but none too sad, none too sad cause them white muthafuckas been talkin tuh him through what they done did fo him. An we lie there, the two ous
an we know mo bout men an niggas an mutha-fuckas now.
Now what happen was mah daddys grief was short lived. What happen was after them
niggas chucked us in, mah daddy went an axd them who fucked us, he gone axd em who it
been an axd fo them tuh be married tuh us. Mah daddy try tuh explain all they need tuh do,
make it official an then they could be saved from impendin doom. Jus like before they niggas
jus laughed the crazy black man tuh shame. They warn mah daddy dat nobody else gonna want
tuh be marryin no hos, he tell mah daddy his daughters aint fresh an nobody wants nothin if
it aint fresh. An so mah daddy presses back. Mah daddy tellsem dat the mutha-fuckas say they
God tellsem the city gonna end soon an they can be saved from it. All they gotta do is tuh marry
us an keep us fo passin on his line. They niggas laughed at the crazy black man an denied him
again. So mah daddy come back to the house without any husbands an stead talks tuh the
mutha-fuckas. They tell him we gotta go an dat cause they say they sent from God we gotta
pack up an leave. Dat night mah sista an I still couldnt move (Not even a budge)not even
alil so we jus lay there an think how long we gon have tuh walk on our bowed legs. So jus
like dat mah family is told to up an evacuate our home. Dat dawn befo the sun was done risin
we was out, an we started our painful walk. The mutha-fuckas neva left, they jus stayed, gone
an stayed the whole time we was walkin as difficult as dat is. I don know how many miles (
too many) too many miles o walkin to begin with an then we have tuh tolerate the muthafuckas the entire way; some merciful that is! (Aint no kind of merciful I eva know)did we
eva know mercy? Seems like women dont get no mercy (Amen). Mah daddy, on the other hand,
he gets what he axe fo, he too tired tuh feel like goin tuh the mountains an he get on his knees

an start to pray (Like a fool)like a damned fool he bent ova an start tuh pray. Least when we
gone did our takin we aint gone axin fo it. Nonetheless he got it, an we set out fo a small,
trashy town.
Now what happen when we get there is mah daddys mistakes start catchin him. Now we
get tuh the city an we walkin a good long time (The sun was past mid-way when we got there)
so we decide tuh rest our feet an our bodies. Mutha-fuckas havent gone yet an they presence
continues to weigh on us (On momma too)momma too poor thingLeme tell you why I say
poor thing; she neva saw it comin. They mutha-fuckas, they tell us dat lookin back wont do no
good. They tell us we need not look cause us women aint strong enough tuh watch our city
gone up in flame. Dats a man thang, dat they needed tuh feel strong enough tuh look, an tuh
igno the feelin you given. They always lookin on ahead not what at was left behind. So
momma, she startin tuh gettin cleanin the new place, an she settin things here an there. An
she get to thinkin bout the life mah daddy made her leave behind. Momma neva got the kind
oppreciation fo what she gone did. So she sat there thinkin an it musta been the last thought
she had but she thought o home. Momma stole her last glance out a window. I think she thought
bout the pictures we left behind, you know all them kinds of photos you can take but neva get
back. All the first times an all the hard nights with you an yo husband. Shonuff there nights
where you maybe tell yoself you wanna forget, but us women we cant do that. Fuck bein
strong enough tuh look foward. Men jus say dat shit so they can feel betta bout the fact they
too cowardly tuh look back an learn from somethin. Now she look out the window an the
mutha-fuckas dint like dat much an gave momma a mean scowl. I took mah eyes offa her tuh
shudder bout the feelin o loss (An I jus couldnt be watchin anythin)it was hard tuh
watch, an when we look up, she gone. We neva saw the smoke neither. We was told there be a

conflagration oall the cities an towns o the plains, but I neva saw none (No me neither)
none us eva saw the smoke from the fire. I saw the world go from light tuh dark, but at the end
o the day, dats what happens an dats the way it was on dat day.
Now, no one knows exactly what happen, but I can tell you it had tuh do with them
mutha-fuckas. It gotta (Musta)had somethin tuh do with them cause they the ones dat told us
she be made tuh stone. Now mah daddy, he musta taken it kinda personal. Mah daddy, he start
gettin fresh anxious. Mutha-fuckas no soona than tell us bout momma than daddy start not tuh
trust them mutha-fuackas any longer. He say we start tuh not feel safe an decides we gonna live
in the mountains like they want us tuh do befo. So we trek up the mountain an we find a cave
that aint too dank, not too uncomfortable. We start sittin there an sittin while life goes by.
Since when did we become exiles? I don know what point mah daddy decided fo us, but
somewhere he decided we cant go an trust nobody. Well shit, I couldda tell him dat, I coulda
tell him not to trust no niggas an no mutha-fuckas but he aint interested in what I got tuh say.
An now he scared. He scared o his own shadow and he scared o otha people so we gotta be
isolated from the world. But who tell him dats what his daughters want? Who tell him dat the
daughters who he wronged was gonna stay so quiet in a lil cave an live out they lives? Same as
who tell him we want tuh be hos fo himnobody. (But can we hold it gainst him? Hes gettin
so ol)yeah he getting ol as fuck (ol as sin.) I use tuh think they greys on his head were
becomin. They was all peppad in like ashes that fell from the sky an blotted his hair an skin
with dirty whiteness. But now hes jus dirtyjus an ol dirty crazy black man what aint got
nothin left tuh live fo.
(Now I gonna tell you what happen. Despite isolation, mah beautiful sista an I, we
pregnant. I tell you what happen tuh get us tuh this point an why we gone done it. So this one

day, not too long afta we in the cave, livin o dyin. An I realize we aint got nothin tuh do, not
no one tuh talk tuh sides ourselves an nothin tuh keep our minds from the pain of everythin.
So I tell mah sista les go down inta the town an see what we can see. We get there an the
towns a dump)Awful an rank (awfuler than rank, near unbearable. Everywhere we go we
smell dat alcohol on men so nasty like it was they sweat. An mo than dat, the houses was shitty,
the roads was fill full o liter an bottles. But what was nice, was them kids. They was them kids
that be runnin an runnin around. They ran like they din know how tuh do nothin else in life
but runin. An it was pretty running) beautiful runnin ( the beautiful kinda runnin which
aint runnin from anyone o from anywhere, but that kinda runnin that was all bout runin to
somethin. They dint talk none though. No one talk much in town, an least o all was them
kids. An then a sad thought came onta me, them kids gon grow up jus like all them hateful
grown-ups. An the lil girls gonna grow up tuh be jus grown girls who still cant do nothin
cause no one will letem. An the future jus gonna be run by men who think a lot an don know
much at all. So I tell mah sista dat we gon change this. We gon beat them fuckas at they own
game) An I dunno how we gonna do any o it cause it jus aint real (but I tells her it gon
be easy cause the babies we gon bear aint gon be like none other. So I go over an buy two
bottle o wine an we make our way back tuh the hovel. On the way I describe how exactly we
gon do it, an my sista lights-up)nah I catch fire (she catches fire at the though o the
prospects. We jes need the wine tuh be warm an the night tuh be right an our daddy tuh be
dumb as a rock an I tell her then we gon start.)
(So we wait until the night is right an our bellies are jes bout perfect. We wait until jes
befo dinner befo we tell daddy we gone into town an where we find the wine. Now he be
scared we left without him knowin but he be scared o lots othings so its easy tuh calm him

down. Specially with wine. Lucky fo us he take the wine like a babe takes tuh milk, jus
drinkin an drinkin. He starts in bout how he misses our momma an cries. He starts in bout
how wrong it feels tuh let the mutha-fuckas take advantage o him an sobs. He starts in bout
how hes scared of so many things, scared o life an scared o God an the punishments an
bawls. He starts in bout how he knows he been wrong an dumb an crazy; he tells us he know
he cant fix none of it an how dats the biggest sin out oall oit an he weeps. Through all odat
we sit an we wait) timin aint right (still aint right time tuh do it. An then he stinks o it
like he sweatin alcohol. His eyes outta focus an he decides to lay down. It finally be my turn tuh
get back at him an I go an I lay with him. The next night it be easier, we jes gave him wine)
An he start suckin it up like a titty (like his momma titty that neva gave him nough courage
tuh stand on his own two feet fo what he want)like the titty o God that it might bring him
some salvation (like the kind I hear men sell one another when they teach eachother tuh hate.
An finally he weeps a crocodiles weep an fills the salty Nile with wine from his soul, a
sacrifice of self-dignity to his future people. An he cries his stench tuh his bed) An dats
when I lay with him (an dats when the two o us both finally became women. It wasnt hard
tuh do, you jes gotta fight fo it an keep fightin fo it, but not the way dat men fight cause dats
futile. Men fight with they fists an they dicks an they hurtful words an with cuttin paper an
press releases an movies dat show what it means to be a man but dat also got it wrong. Women,
an even girls fight by givin in. We fight by givin everythin we are so dat the world works on
some dysfunctional level. We give it all cept a lil an dat lil is fo uswe fight by giving all but
dat lil so it can live on. An fight an we name it an we love it an we change its diapers even if
he is he. We fight by bein respected when nobody respects us an we fight by lovin in a world o
hate.)

(When I laid with mah daddy, what happen was cause I wanted it to an cause I kept
workin dat bit o my self.) When I laid with mah daddy, what happen cause I made it mah duty,
not his. When I laid with my daddy I was a bit scared like he was before. (When I laid with mah
daddy I was excited tuh finally be stickin it to him fo what he done. When I laid with mah
daddy he started off slow.) When I laid with my daddy he started with his eyes closed. (When I
laid with mah daddy he started tuh rock)an I rocked too. (He started tuh hold me)an I let
him. When I laid with mah daddy (he called out mah mommas name, he tried tuh pull mah
mommas hair an he started tuh weep. When I laid with mah daddy) he started tuh weep an cry
fo Gods blessin. He thought how could somethin so beautiful be so wrong? But God dint
answer him(we did. Those nights there wasnt three, only one; when her an him an I were
goin on there was just one moment. I was the spirit)I was God, an he was the son suckin on
mah titty fo salvationthe kind men cant sell eachother. An it all happens, an mah daddy
forgets it, jus cause we are women.
(I always thought it kinda funny when anybody calls a woman a homewrecker. Who
actually wrecks a home? Who wrecked mine? Mo than dat, who makes a home? Aint no men
Fosho. They might do the ploughin but its us who do the tendin an the nurturin an whats
mo is we neva set fire to a goddamned thang. An so we keep dat bit tuh ourselves tuh hope we
can help it grow alright even though someone else gonna be doin the reapin. I hope shes a girl)
cant never get enough sistas (I hope shes a girl so that she can spread a lil mo love round,
but dat also I can teach her how tuh be tough an be strong. So I can teach her how tuh be a
woman dat makes a man let her do things. So I can teach her how tuh stand on her own two feet
fo what she wants. So I can teach her how tuh be different.) I hope hes a boy, so I can teach him
tuh fight different. Now I know men need tuh fight, but Imma teach mah boy tuh fight with

respect. Imma teach him how tuh give respect where respect is due. Imma teach him dat its
okay tuh cry an tuh not know an tuh say I don know. Imma teach mah boy tuh be a leader
not a follower, tuh be merciful an not miserable; tuh speak as well as listen. Befo I did wonder
if God might be a sista. You know she got pride an she got power an she got love. She gone
made everythin an knew how to let her babies live their lives without her. An damn don she
have a bitchin side too, two-faced so dat if you fuck-up shell let you know an you mighta
ruined things fogood. But now I know dat Gods gotta be a man. Only a man would make you
bow befo you speak, an woulda let his children run rampant before deciding tuh take them out.
Only a man could sit an watch this much senseless violence, brotha killin brotha an stompin
on eachotha. Only a man could fuck up this badly, lettin everyone emphasize hate instead o
love, ignorance steada understanin, war insteada peace. Only a man wouldn intervene cause
he want tuh save his own face (save it from shame) save it from sight.
An it all happens, an mah daddy forgets it an everybody else too, jus cause we are
women. But les see what happen when theres proof o what happenmaybe daddy will weep
somemo but maybe the world will be changed one step forward, irrevocably. You can silence a
voice, say it wasnt said an you can rip up a paper or change a word. But you cant change
whats been done an you cant eva take a step inta the past (Word).

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