Kunheng 1

Cai Kunheng
WR 39C
Dr. Lynda Haas
Aug 20, 2015
Lovely Dogs, Friendly Dogs, Worrying Dogs
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
Humorously said by Julius Henry "Groucho" Marx, the master of wit and famous American
comedian and film star, once said: Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog
it's too dark to read.. Annotated by distinguished authors, positive dog quotes are
pervasiveblooming on the Internet. and have been trending ever since. For examples, Mark
Twain complemented dogs in this saying:as If you pick up a starving dog and make him
prosperous he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and man. Twains
comment points out that dogs could be considered to haveeven regarded dogs as higher morality
obtainer rather than humans, implying the affection he had forto dogs. Hence, the question of
how dogs successfully appeal to humans humans great attraction to dogs leads to the
questionattraction emerges and encourages people to ask, Why do we love dogs ?
The answer to this question seemslooks apparent, yet it is complex and confusing. What
factor abridged the gap between humans andto dogs, and even strengthened this relationship
between these two totally irrelevant species at the beginning? John Archer, Professor of
Psychologya psychologist at the University of Central Lancashire, was puzzled by the question
of why people love their pets, explaining that. Archer expressed this confusion as love for dogs
and other pets poses a problem. Being attached to animals is not, strictly speaking, necessary for
human health and welfare. (page number). Sufficient scientific studies have can proven that

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people with pets usually live longer with better blood pressure than non-owners (citation for this
info--if its not original to you, cite it!); but in the literal sense, as Archer argues, we don't really
need all those dogs and cats to survive, (page number).argued by Archer.
Eventually, Archer offershe gave his own answer according to Darwins evolutionary
theory, "consider the possibility that pets are, in evolutionary terms, manipulating human
responses, that they are the equivalent of social parasites. Social parasites inject themselves into
the social systems of other species and thrive there. Dogs are masters at that. They show a range
of emotionslove, anxiety, curiosityand thus trick us into thinking they possess the full range
of human feelings. Dogs are truly masters who emulate our emotions yet express in their most
suitable ways. They lick our faces to show their passion just like we gratefully hug each other;
they cry and snuggle with their parents when a thunderstorm is coming like baby humans; they
wiggle tails and act agog for small daily walks, acting as though as theyve just receive the best
Christmas gift; no wonder that dogs incontrovertibly win our hearts and have become our best
friends.
This stable while joyful relationship has aexisted for a long history. In order to illustrate
this amazing symbiosis, investigating the behind-the-scenes history for both species is requisite.
Leslie Irvine, a social psychologist, and also the author of the sociology book: If You Tame Me:
Understanding Our Connections with Animals (2004), Temple University Press). Irvine presents
the great transformation of humans from hunter to farmer at pre-literate epoch. When our first
generation of intelligent homo-sapiens ancestors were smart enough to sharpen their stone spears
to hunt, and started to respect their prey animals, they start to understanding the differences
between animals and humans. However, since they could not explain the differences, they owed
these mysteries to the unpredictable Mother Nature, and started to reverse feed nature by

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sacrificinge or worshipping animals onat certain days; aslike Irvine explainsdescribes, They
were subjected and worshipped, bred and sacrificed (35). As part oflongside with farther human
evolution, our ancestors turned from hunters to farmers, and this step was a majorone of the
milestone. According to Irvine, It is impossible to overestimate the importance of mankind's
change from hunter-gatherer to domesticator of plants and animals (46). Part of this step was
that theIn addition, the relationship between humans and animals have also changed;, humans
were no longer respected the nature and animals in the same way, which led to the beginning
ofas much as before since they started their imperial domination. As a results, farmers started to
gather all different sources and learned to store them; they also started to conquer on land by
separating out farms and, eliminating useless crops and animals such as rodents and birds. As
Irvine describes here, In contrast, the transition to farming required both an intimacy with the
natural world and a conquering attitude toward it (36). This transformation had truly changed
the whole planet abiotically and biotically; it had also introduced wolves into human life. Im
going to stop editing for grammar/language here, but you will need to do similar types of
revision throughout; remember that to maintain the grade contract your final essay needs to be
almost free of error>>
As humans became a dominant species, other species who got along with humans were
promoted to pets or livestock. Wolves are the most successful species that not only earned
humans trust, but also co-evolved with humans during the last 12,000 years. Archaeological
evidence has long placed the origins of the domestic dog (Canis lupus familiaris) just prior to the
beginning of the Holocene Epoch, some 12,000-15,000 years ago, according to Morey, Darcy F,
the author of Dogs: Domestication and the Development of a Social Bond. The earliest dog,
precisely the ancient wolves, intelligently accepted the trending size of ancient humans

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population, and had started scavenging around humans habitat. Gradually humans had begun to
adopt wolf cubs and surprisingly discovered their inherent tamable characteristic. Eventually
these less fearful creatures were able to live with humans peacefully and seamlessly. The benefits
ofbeneath this relationship were revealed in a symbioticsis way. While humans provided shelter
and food, dogs provided guardianship and company as well. This symbiosis ensureds the chances
of survival forin both species;, furthermore, it also benefitedts each side in several physiological
aspects. Looks like one of your main language challenges is to correctly use prepositions-something to think about as you continue to improve your writing skills.
One of the newest research <<research is always used in the singular in English.. never
researches>> studies in this field es, published by Guo-dong Wang, a genetics researcher at the
Chinese Academy of Sciences, states that they found both humans and dogs underwent similar
changes in genes responsible for digestion and metabolism, such as genes that code for
cholesterol transport. Those changes could be due to a dramatic change in the proportion of
animal versus plant-based foods that occurred in both at around the same time. Both humans
and dogs have adopted the change of food in a physiological way together. Digesting same food
indicates that humans and dogs have lived together, it is evolved to have similar metabolism
that highlighted how clever dogs were. They have fully adopted the changing diet, and were able
to initiate physiological change with humans at the same time (Wang)<<make sure you have
correct MLA citation<< . This accurate and up-to-the-minute modification helped dogs catch on
human path once again. Adopting new diet with human is moreanother evidence that proves the
coevolution.
In addition, the benefits of this symbiosis also include positive physiological changes on
both sides. Research conducted in June 2015,According to the newest research, Oxytocin-gaze

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positive loop and the coevolution of human-dog bonds by Nagasawa et al, at June 12, 2015. A
group of Japanese scientists illustratesd the trending positive physiological impact on humans
during cuddling or touching, or even gazing at dogs. In this research, Nagasawa et al
studiedindicated the increasing oxytocin levels ofat both human and dog urine when they
wereare gazing each other. (Oxytocin, one of the so-called love hormone, commas always go
inside quotation marks, can reduces stress responses, including anxiety - and these anxiolytic
effects have been demonstrated in a number of species (medicalNewsDaily.com)). Referring to
Nagasawa et. al. write:s research, We show that gazing behavior from dogs, but not wolves,
increased urinary oxytocin concentrations in owners, which consequently facilitated owners
affiliation and increased oxytocin concentration in dogs (115). According to this amazing
finding, dogs and humans are not only getting along with each other, but also internally boost
each others physical conditions. Moreover, Nagasawa et al conclude this surprisingly finding
supports the existence of an interspecies oxytocin-mediated positive loop facilitated and
modulated by gazing, which may have supported the coevolution of human-dog bonding by
engaging common modes of communicating social attachment. Therefore, if two species can
bring safety, enjoyment, and relaxation to each other at the same time, the fact that theyof they
became best friends is not surprising.
<<needs transition between that last point and this new one about diet>>In a word, both
dogs and humans were adopting changes in diet over time. Surprisingly<<you use this word a
lot<< dogs were able to tolerate changes as fast as humans, and established positive bonding
with humans by investigating the oxytocin secretion. Dogs take their pain to adopt human life
styles all the time. However, since dogs can adopt living with human too well, problems
occurred.

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Humans love dogs but neglect their superior fertility and tenacious survivorship after
abandonment or escape. These portions of dogs transform to stray dogs and live in alarming life
conditions. They scavenge in garbage station, sleep on dirty ground, fight and bleed for
territories without aids or support. Stray dogs live in freedom but toughness, too. They also
produce problems to human society such as rabies and biting. Human society started to halt the
population in order to extirpate the rampant rabies. For example, the Indian government went
through cruel plans such as culling and electrocution at early 60th, <<early 60th? not sure what
that means>> according to ISAR (the International Society for Animal Rights), a legalized
nonprofit animal rights association. Only 2.2 to 15% of dogs brought to shelters are placed in
homes. The rest are killed, or, worse, turned over to dealers or laboratories (ISAR). Stray dogs
seem unwelcome based on this statistic. Nevertheless, are they as harmful as what the data has
portrayed? If youre going to focus on India, it would be a good idea, early in your statement of
the problem, to have a sentence that says something like this: India is a good example of a
country that is currently grappling with the problem of canine overpopulation. <<< so, you are
directly telling your reader that youre using India as an example of the problem youre
defining>>
Stray dogs are highly intelligent groups who have adopted urban life in an amazing level,
adequate evidence suggest these clever stray dogs are not repulsive as scientific data portrayes.
Confusing. Scientific data portrays dogs as repulsive? Staying along with humans and learning
cross streets with pedestrians and traffic signal lights are requisite urban life skills, stray dogs in
Romania seem fully acknowledged by these.<<again, directly state: Romania is another
example... According to Agence France Press, the third worldwide largest press, some of the
stray dogs in Bucharest are seen crossing the large streets at pedestrian crosswalks. The dogs

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have probably noticed that when humans cross streets at such markings, cars tend to stop. The
dogs have accustomed themselves to the flow of pedestrian and automobile traffic; they sit
patiently with the people at the curb when they are stopped for a red light, and then cross with
them as if a daily routine (Jan, 2013). This rapport relationship between stray dogs and human
supports that stray dogs are worth to save due to their calmness and innocuousness. Except
Romania, India also obtains a large amount of stray dogs. Can you tie back to your lit review in
this paragraph? You should make a tie back to your lit review at least 3-4 times during the
statement of the problem in order to create cohesion

(Figure 1: Romanian stray dogs cross the street with pedestrians. Photo by Matt Cardy)
India has the largest stray dogs culture among the world. According World Health
Organization estimates, the total number of street dogs in India was between 25 and 30 million
until 2004. Indian stray dogs have been living with their masters for more than 15000 years since
the Upper Paleolithic era (Menezes). They are so adaptive to this life style, hence the
reproduction rate and population size are soaring ever since. Eventually the occupation of city
stray dogs was too large to neglect, alongside the overpopulation of stray dogs, a serious social

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problem, rabies, is rampant over India.<<seems like this should go earlier, where you first intro
India as an example>>
The Indian (India is the name of the country, Indian is the adjective) government chose to
kill stray dogs inat 1969 (Menezes), but the problem of rabies was continuously disturbing public
health and their citizens. Rabies is one of the oldest recognized diseases affecting humans and
one of the most important zoonotic diseases in India, according to the research Rabies in
India by Rozario Menezes, a well known Indian public health expert. Historically speaking,
rabies has been recognized in India since the Vedic period (1500500 BC) and was described in
the ancient Indian scripture Atharvaveda, wherein Yama, as the mythical God of Death, has
been depicted as attended by 2 dogs as his constant companions, the emissaries of death. Rabies
is endemic in India, a vast country with a population exceeding 1.02 billion and a land area of
3.2 million km. The dog has been, and still is, the main reservoir of rabies in India. (Rozario
Menezes).The image Picture below illustrates that India has the highest death rate from rabies

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among Asia.

good image

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Menezes also provides a record, which investigated at<<check all your preposition use<
2004 by World Health Organization, basing on the temporary rabies problem at India. It states
About 15 million people are bitten by animals, mostly dogs, every year and need postexposure
prophylaxis. Since 1985, India has reported an estimated 25 00030 000 human deaths from
rabies annually. The majority of people who die of rabies are people of poor or low-income
socioeconomic status (Rozario Menezes). FThe figure 2 projected from the National
Multicentric Rabies Survey (NMRS), conducted in 2004 by the Association for Prevention and
Control of Rabies (APCR) in India in collaboration with the WHO, indicates the number of
rabies patients was 20565. According by Rozario, rabies has caused a serious public health
problem in India among all Asian countries, and is majorly caused by stray dogs biting.
Therefore, eradicating rabies requires diminishing the population of stray dogs. I understand the
problem as you are framing it, but it is a problem that impacts humans more than dogs which
makes it not fit quite so well with your literature review; maybe that is why there is no tying
back to the concepts in your lit review---but you need to find a way to do this, and to keep your
focus on animal science (the topic of the class) and not human illnesses.
Nevertheless,<<this word doesnt really fit the context here... the population of stray dogs
is overwhelming and concerning, too. According to a WHO sponsored national multicentric
rabies survey, India has approximately 25 million dogs, with an estimated dog-to-man ratio of
1:36 (WHO May, 2004). The enormous dog population is believed the primary cause of high
contagious rabies in India. Most animal bites in India (91.5%) are by dogs. The steady increase
in the number of cases involving dog bites and an ever-increasing demand for postexposure
vaccination poses the question of whether India is in the midst of an epidemic of rabies in dogs
or whether these increases merely reflect uncontrolled growth in the dog population and greater

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number of humans exposed to them (Rozario Menezes). However, tracing down to the root of
the stray dogs overpopulation, the flooding of stray dogs is totally caused by poor sanitary
condition. Sanitary conditions do not create overpopulation (that might be the cause of rabies).
You should keep your frame of the problem as overpopulation (which then as the side effect of
rabies)... how did it get to be so overpopulated? (probably because there is no spay and neuter
program and so dogs can just procreate exponentially).
Gardiner Harris, a public health reporter for The New York Times, has published a statistic
study called Where Streets Are Thronged With Strays Baring Fangs. With the majorly focus of
the stray dogs problem in India, the study offers a vision of the sanitary condition at Mumbai,
one of the biggest city in India. Mumbai has over 12 million human residents, of whom over
half are slum-dwellers. At least five hundred tons of garbage remain uncollected daily. Therefore,
conditions are perfect for supporting a particularly large population of stray dogs. <<again--is
this what really causes the overpopulation---or is it what causes the population of dogs in India to
have rabies?>> India has the highest number of human rabies deaths in the world (estimated at
35,000 per annum) (Harris). Therefore, the poor sanitary condition in Mumbai encourages stray
dogs to reproduce in their best. Despite the well developing city Mumbai, other suburban and
rural areas in India may suffer severer stray dogs overpopulation and the rabies they might carry
with. Therefore, calling a halt of the stray dog overpopulation is requisite to eradicate the
national wide rabies problem.<< yes, these two are tied. when you revise, try to keep your focus
on the overpopulation (this is the dog part of the equation)---- you may need to cut some of what
you have on rabies and instead explain why there are so many dogs in India>> However, if
halting the stray dogs culling saves their life, what about the lethal rabies they carry with? It does
not seem rational to save stray dogs instead of humans. As a matter of fact, it should not be a

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dilemma. Neutering and spaying provide valid approaches to control the population of stray dogs
without harm at the same time.

(Figure 3. Free-roaming dogs live with villagers in peaceful at Kolcutta, India)

In order to reduce the trending of stray dog population, the Indian Animal Welfare
suggested neutering and spaying as the most effective method. Following the decreasing
population, the spread of rabies must be restrained as the result. On the other hand, vaccinating
provides cure of rabies, too. <good transition. consider headers throughout essay>>
According to a research,ACTION ALERTS Pledge to Practice Your ABCs: Animal Birth
Control by PETA, spaying is effective regardless the gender of stray dogs. Spaying one female
dog can prevent 67,000 births in six years, and spaying one female cat can prevent 420,000
births in seven years. The exponential curve of birth rate is simple, when one regular female

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stray dog gives birth biannually with 2 cubs each time; each cub spends 5 months to gain sexual
maturity; and each cub has 2 offsprings each time like parental generation; a few years later the
parental generation will have a shocking number of offsprings just like what figure 4 illustrates.
As a matter of fact, female dogs can usually have more than 2 cubs per generation, and will keep
breeding for several years. Thus, spaying and neutering are considering efficient as controlling
the stray dogs population. However, if neutering and spaying annul possible offsprings, why not
simply kill stray dogs?

(Figure 4: analogy of exponential growth in 3 years.)

As a matter of fact, India government has been working with WHO since 2004, and
banned stray dogs culling at the same year. Culling stray dogs as a population control method
was started by the British in the 19th Century. Referred by WSD, the Welfare of Stray Dogs, a
legalized nonprofit organization dedicated to helping Indian stray dogs since 1984. The
organization states that stray dog culling was a large-scale mission (up to 50,000 dogs killed
every year) annually before 1993 with the aims of eradicating human rabies deaths and the stray
dog population.

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However, this arbitrary decision had brought nothing but exacerbation of the rabies. The
World Health Organization (WHO) and the Animal Welfare Board of India (Ministry of
Environment & Forests) have observed culling stray dogs did not offer the same remedy as it
provided in England,at British since urban conditions there are very different. <<you really do
need to get someone to help with standard English throughout the essay>> The Indian urban
environment encourages breeding of stray dogs, so no matter how many dogs were killed, they
were quickly replaced by more. <<how does it encourage the breeding of stray dogs? this is
something you should be more focused on than rabies in the earlier section>> Therefore, India
government had to admit their faulty approach because the human rabies deaths had actually
increased, and the dog population was also perceptibly growing (WSD). By swallowing the
unexpected result, Indian government had begun to cooperate with WHO in order to sort out a
better solution. At 2004, Animal Birth Control as well as ABC, a new approach was adopted
by both WHO experts and India government. The rationale of this program is to reduce the dog
population turnover as well as the number of dogs susceptible to rabies and limit aspects of male
dog behavior (such as dispersal and fighting) that facilitate the spread of rabies (WHO).
The ABC has been developed by WHO as the only practical solution to control the street
dog population and eradicate rabies. Therefore, Indian government replaced the culling by
massive sterilization and vaccination at<prepositions! 2004. In addition, releasing spayed dogs
back to original areas is as important as neutering itself. Spaying stray dogs halts their abilities to
reproduce as well as stops the exponential growth of stray dogs population. Releasing them back
eliminates the availability of vacant territories to other new invaders. Dogs are territorial and will
defend their areas, if captured dogs are not releasing back to their former territory, there will be
new occupiers who start to breed new cubs and the whole population remains unstable.

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Therefore, the re-released sterilized ones ensure the unavailability of new territories for new
invaders.
In addition, sterilization helps reduce the charging and offensive behaviors of roaming
dogs, which are mainly caused by migration and mating, explained by WSD. Most dog
aggression occurs during mating time, as dogs cross territories to mate and fight with other dogs
whose areas they enter. Humans passing by get accidentally bitten in the course of these dogfights. This problem ends when all the dogs from a neighborhood are sterilized. As testosterone
levels come down after sterilization, male dogs also become less aggressive. Stray dog females
are usually aggressive only when they have puppies to protect, so with sterilization this problem
ends as well. <<too long for quote--paraphrase, summarize some of it>> Sterilization provides
efficient approach as it can end up the stray dog overpopulation, and also reduces their biting
behaviors. Besides, sterilized animals also live healthier, longer lives and are less likely to roam,
fight or bite (PETA).
Recently, the developing sterilization science has provided varies edge-cutting
approaches that help Indian government control the case in a more efficient level. Among these
new methods, oral rabies vaccination and birth control pills present more advanced technologies
than normal vaccination and sterilization.
According to the research group from National Research Laboratory on Rabies and
Wildlife Diseases, WHO Collaborating Centre for Research and Management in Zoonoses
Control, F, Cliquet and his colleagues have found the oral vaccination provided better rabies
control than normal vaccination. They have called the new drug SAG2 and experienced this
drug on 9 random selected Indian stray dogs. Based on their observation, the efficacy was
shown 109 days post-vaccination after challenge with a highly virulent street rabies virus which

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killed all five controls whereas all nine vaccinated dogs survived, despite the fact that only five
out of nine had seroconverted before challenge. (Cliquet et al). To be specific, All five controls
died at 25, 29, 33, 84, and 85 days after challenge. The clinical phase lasted from 6 to 8 days.
This mortality delay has been observed in experimental and in field conditions. In contrast, all
nine vaccinated dogs survived the challenge and remained healthy throughout the observation
period (90 days post-challenge). This high survival rate suggests the clinical efficiency of
SAG2, while the utility remains unknown, due to the inadequate economy situation. Quoting
Cliquets statement, only 46% of bitten humans receive post- exposure prophylaxis consisting
of an anti-rabies inactivated vaccine but rarely serum or anti-rabies immunoglobulin (2% of
cases) due to its high cost. Thus, the massive using of SAG2 remains a question. However, the
situation is not always negative since the creation of SAG2 encourages the revolution of new
rabies vaccination, and provides novel ideas to investigate new approaches to cure rabies.good
Furthermore, because this is such a complicated problem, individual, grass-roots
solutions are also necessaryencouraged. Individually spaying and neutering home dogs must
beare highly recommended by many mainstream social media (media is the plural form of
medium--there is no such thing as medias)s and online nonprofit organizations, and these well
informed and promoted messages also play important rule in ceasing the stray dog
overpopulation in India, as well as the rabies.
The advantages of neutering companion dogs include reducing breast/ testicle cancer;
reducing the chance of escaping, roaming, and dog fights; reducing the chance of spraying urine
or hormone on furniture. An early 1999 research, Body Conformation, Diet, and Risk of Breast
Cancer in Pet Dogs: A Case-Control Study, presents by Elizabeth G. Sonnenschein, a
veterinarian from the New York University Medical School, illustrate the significances of early

Kunheng 17

companion dogs neutering. Sonnenschein conducted a case-control study at the Veterinary

Hospital of the University of Pennsylvania in 19841987. She interviewed owners of 150 pet
dogs diagnosed with breast cancer, owners of 147 cancer control dogs, and owners of 131
noncancer control dogs. Throughout the survey, she had found the risk of breast cancer was
significantly reduced in dogs spayed at or before 2.5 years of age.
Not only scientists have claimed the advantage of dogs neutering, but also several
mainstream animal welfares have chose to promote this approach but in an adopted way, they
chose to use social medias as their platforms such websites, blogs and forums. The advantage of
promoting by social media appears enormous. As Shirky, Professor of Media Studies at NYUan
American writer, claims his impressions about social media in his TED presentation, he says the
moment were living for the moment our historical generation is living is the largest increase an
expressive capability in human history. Humans have been adapting 4 revolutions from the past
500 years from radio to more private medias. The greatest change of the 21st century social
globalization is now we can both receive and send out messages instantly, and having both
conversations and groups at the same time. The size and complexity of nowadays social medias
are enormous. Propagandize animal welfare on social medias such as websites and blogs is
considered wise and efficient. Thus, the success of mainstream animal welfares largely attributes
to the proper using of social media which has boosted their promotion.
Not only the using of social media helps them expand successfully, but also the
concerning yet concise content earn them reputation and wide-range attention. Based on the
articles from American Humane Association (AHA), PETA, and the Indian Welfare of Stray Dog
(WSD), the suggestion of the neutering as the most advanced method appears similarly. By
quoting the Benefits of Spaying Your Dogs section, the AHA explains why people should

Kunheng 18

neuter their dogs logically. Animal shelters, both public and private, are faced with an
incredible burden: What to do with the overpopulation of dogs and cats that they cannot find
homes for? Approximately 3.7 million animals are euthanized at shelters each year, due to the
sheer fact that there are not enough willing adopters. Having your pet spayed or neutered ensures
that you will not be adding to this tremendous burden (AHA). Therefore, spaying or neutering
home dogs not only helps them reduce the agitate/ aggressive behaviors during mating season,
but also indirectly reduce the whole dog population. These two infographics below illustrate the
harms of dogs overpopulation, and the benefits of dogs neutering.
Good work, Cai! Just WAAAAY too long. And there is no connection between your lit
review and the problem/solution. My suggestions for priorities: cut lit review down; tie lit review
into problem/solution; reframe problem as overpopulation (with rabies as just a side effect); cut
down wherever else you can. Then get someone to go over every sentence with you for
grammar/word choice/word form.

Kunheng 19

Kunheng 20

(Figure 5: Infographic created by Samantha Paula Lara, Zicong Zheng, Kunheng Cai.)
Conclusively, the government-based methods include animal birth control and oral
vaccination, they are both effective with bright future. The individual and social media-based
methods include neutering home dogs and are also encouraged. There is not a method could

Kunheng 21

perfectly solve the overpopulation and rabies by stray dogs immediately, a great amount of
patience and participations are required during this healing process. Mistakes were operated
during this process by India government, such as the faulty arbitrary culling had never worked.
Controlling India stray dogs population has never been easy, it asks familiarity towards to the
whole picture; it asks rich knowledge reserves; it also asks scientific insight that helps the
operator evaluate new approaches thoroughly. There were many other approaches than
vaccination and sterilization provided even better remedy, but none of them had actually stepped
into the case. The reasons varies, it could be expensive cost, extensive execution progress such as
long term shots, inadequate resources, or unpleasant flavor rejected by dogs. Throughout the
long time dispose and consultant, the India government, WHO, and mainstream animal welfares
have reached agreement on solving the problem of stray dog overpopulation and rabies,
sterilization and vaccination remain dominant governmentally, while neutering and spaying are
recommended individually. Thus, it is significant to consider all possible solutions and situations
they would lead before officially commanding orders or suggesting advice.

Work Cited
Gardiner, Harris (6 August 2012). "Where Streets Are Thronged With Strays Baring

Kunheng 22

Fangs". New York Times. Retrieved 24 June 2013.

Menezes, Rozario. "Rabies in India." CMAJ : Canadian Medical Association
Journal. Canadian Medical Association, n.d. Web. 17 Aug. 2015.
Carding, A.H. "The Significance and Dynamics of Stray Dog Populations with Special
Reference to the U.K. and Japan." Dictionary.com. Dictionary.com, July 1969. Web. 12
Aug. 2015.
Sonnenschein, Elizabeth G. "Body Conformation, Diet, and Risk of Breast Cancer in Pet Dogs:
A Case-Control Study." Oxford Journals. Oxford Journals Medicine & Health American
Journal of Epidemiology, 1 Nov. 1999. Web.
"Romanian police recruit stray dogs for road safety lessons". The Raw Story. 201301-23. Retrieved 2013-11-16.
"Benefits of Spay/Neuter." SpayUSA.org. N.p., n.d. Web. 20 Aug. 2015.
"Pet Overpopulation." Pet Overpopulation. American Humane Association, n.d. Web. 20 Aug.
2015.
"PETA India: India's Animal Rights Organisation | PETA India." PETA India, n.d. Web. 20 Aug.
2015.
Jaipur, Durgapura. "The Animal Birth Control Program Help in Suffering, Jaipur."
Http://www.hsi.org/. N.p., Aug. 2008. Web. 20 Aug. 2015.
Clay, Shirky. "How Social Media Can Make History." Youtube.com. N.p., n.d. Web. 20 Aug.
2015.

Advocacy Project Peer Review

Rhetoric and Argument

Kunheng 23

Review of the

The foundation of the advocacy project is a well-

Scientific

written and relevant review of scientific studies

Literature

about the animals impacted by the issue being

covered. This review of the literature is presented

with a historical framework and is logically
connected to the presentation of the problem
and the solutions offered.
Comments: Does a good job of mentioning how dogs have been impacted. For example,
it is mentioned how dogs have evolved: They have fully adopted the changing diet, and
were able to initiate physiological change with humans at the same time. (4). The review is
lengthy though and could easily be shortened by excluding unnecessary information.

Problem

The composition clearly presents and analyzes a

Statement and

significant political/social/cultural problem and

History

establishes the problems urgency, scope, and

severity. The problem is clearly framed and
focused; it is not presented as the writers
opinion, but is a sourced argument, backed

Kunheng 24

up with credible sources.

Comments: The essay establishes a problem and discusses its severity. For example:
Humans love dogs but neglect their superior fertility and tenacious survivorship after
abandon or escape. Though the grammar in this sentence could use work, this sentence
states what the problem is. See comments.

Analysis of

The composition presents and analyzes

Solutions

solution(s) to the central problem (Macro and

micro solution offered). Rigorous and welldocumented arguments that address a possible
solution or solutions are presented clearly.
Comments: Mentions Macro and micro solutions. Ex: In order to reduce the trending of
stray dog population, the Indian Animal Welfare suggested neutering and spaying as the
most effective method. (10). Arguments used are lengthy and are not straight to the
point. See comments for specific areas.

Argument

Rigorous arguments of a possible solution or

Development

solutions are developed through the use of expert

and

support, persuasive evidence, and well chosen

Counterargum

rhetorical appeals. The composition anticipates

ent:

and responds effectively and appropriately to

oppositional claims. For the level of this course
and for this particular assignment, the arguments

Kunheng 25

are sophisticated, creative, persuasive,

insightful, and deeply embedded in scholarly
discourse.
Comments: The possible solutions mentioned are developed with
the use of expert support; however, it is not that persuasive.
Plus, he does not respond effectively to oppositional claims. See
comments.

Multi-Modal

Uses at least one multi-modal element, and this

Element(s)

element strengthens and deepens explanations,

summaries, or arguments. Visual evidence is

dense and diverse in information, yet
communicates information clearly and
effectively.
Comments: Utilized multiple images and an info graphic.
Organization/

The project is well-organized and easy to follow,

Arrangement

with transitions, topic sentences and/or headers to

of Evidence:

help guide the reader; the presentation of

evidence is arranged coherently and demonstrates

a well-documented analytical synthesis.
Comments: The essay is adequately organized. Transitions or topic sentences would
help improve the flow of the essay. The essay utilizes comments as headers.
Incorporating those comments, as headers in the final draft would definitely help the

Kunheng 26

organization.
Scholarly

Throughout the composition, the writer illustrates

Ethos

the scholarly ethos of a well-informed,

objective, and credible advocate.

Comments: It is clear that the author has done his research on the subject; however,
his grammar errors impact his credibility. For example, Nevertheless, the population of
stray dogs stays worrying as same as rabies. (9). This example shows that he knows what he is
talking about, but his grammar error in this sentence impacts the effectiveness of this sentence. See
comments.

Evidence and Information Literacy

Sources:

The selected sources are credible for a scholarly

Credibility &

audience and offer clear, relevant support to all

Relevance

of the compositions argumentative moves.

Comments: Some of the sources are credible for a scholarly audience. Some are not
credible, such as "The Animal Birth Control Program Help in Suffering, Jaipur."
Nonetheless, the sources do help in making the argument, but are overused in multiple
instances throughout the essay.

Source Use

The composition uses sources appropriately in

and

distinct and different capacities:

Integration

primary/secondary,
exhibit/argument/background. The author
integrates the sources seamlessly into the
composition and properly introduces them.

Kunheng 27

Comments: Sources are used in distinct and different capacities. The author does an
adequate job of introducing his sources.
Documentatio

The AP is formatted correctly using MLA

n&

formatting (this includes margins, page number

Formatting

location, and page 1 header). Sources are

documented appropriately using MLA; this

includes appropriate captions for multi-modal
elements and correct format for Works Cited.
Comments: Page numbers are not included. The page 1 header is formatted
incorrectly.

Style Mechanics and Conventions

Clarity,

The writing is clear, eloquent, characterized by

Sentence

precise word choice, purposeful sentences with

Structure and

varied structure, and a high degree of readability

Readability

for the level of its course and this particular

assignment. Few errors of
grammar/language/usage are found, and if there
are small errors, they do not detract from
readability.

Comments: The essay was loaded with grammatical errors. These multiple errors
made it difficult to understand the essay at multiple points of the essay. Ex:
Nevertheless, the population of stray dogs stays worrying as same as rabies (9). See
comments.

Kunheng 28

Organization

The organization is deliberately paced, and

and

demonstrates a very high degree of skill and

Development

control when moving from idea to idea,

paragraph to paragraph, and sentence to sentence.

Connections are made throughout the essay to
create cohesion
Comments: It is kind of clear when the essay is moving from one idea to another.
Organization can use some work, see comments.
Required

Page length, number of sources, and included

Elements

content as described in prompt meet the

minimum requirements
Comments: Utilized multiple sources; however, essay was more than 12 pages.

THE TOP THREE PRIORITIES I RECOMMEND FOR YOUR REVISION STRATEGY:

1. Improve the multiple grammar errors throughout the essay.
2. Improve the clarity of your argument, as well as the strength of your
argument.
3. Shorten down your essay. There is a lot of information in the essay that is
not needed that is impacting the clarity of the essay.