Masturbation

Masturbation is the process of bringing about a voluntary excitement of the sexual centers
following generally by the discharge of semen, through some method other than normal sexual
intercourse. In other words, "Masturbation" means ejaculation of semen by hand. There are various
devices resorted to for the purpose, but because of the hand to practise it, it is widely known as
"Hand Practice". This habit is also known as "Self-Abuse", since it is done by one’s own self by his
own hand.

There are exceptions, when masturbation is also done by some one else i. e., one engages
one’s own wife for this act and rather prefers it even to normal coitus. This sort of device is found
among those who are accustomed to hard friction and this habit is formed since childhood and
therefore they cannot derive much thrill and pleasure from normal coitus. The other common device
is to lie down on the abdomen and rubbing the penis against the pillow or the bed as if performing
the sexual intercourse and to discharge semen with thrill and pleasure.

There is haradly any young man who does not masturbate at one time or the other. The self-
abuse is the prime cause of various sexual disorders and it is one of the earliest abuses when a boy
engages himself in this evil act.

Masturbation has serious consequences since it drains the young men of his vital forces and in
many case it causes impotency, if it is over-indulged. Therefore, parents are advised to keep a watch
on their children against all possible factors which can tempt their children to masturbate.

Following are some of the causes which incites

young men to undertake this evil practice :

1. The main cause is bad company, where children hear and discuss sexual topics and in the bad
society they themselves engaged in masturbation collectively without any shame. This is the
very first and wrong step which leads to many bad practices to play with the immature sexual
 organs at the very tender age. Since this evil act gives intense pleasure, they keep on doing
quite regularly without knowing the adverse effects of the masturbation in the future to come.
If this practice is over done, it ruins the matrimonial lives due to impotency.
2. Secondly, house servants also incite young boys to this vice by playing with their sexual
organs. Thus, parents should keep an open eyes and they should not allow their children for
longer hours to be with their domestic servants in seclusion. Furthermore, sending their boys
to distant schools along with their young children, without any supervision, may also lead to
similar consequences since servants can caress the children if they find lonely road or place.
Further, young children should also not be carried on cycles in front of the servants or in a
car beside the driver.
3. Not only domestic servants, but even young friends or relatives should be relied upon.
Therefore, children should not be allowed to sleep on a common bed along with the relatives
or friends as some of them may pollute the children or young boys.
4. It has also been found that in many instances, the young ones are taught the first sexual
lesson by the maid-servants. Thus, boys should not be allowed to be with maid-servants in
seclusion or to lie in the same bed.
5. The parents, in the best interest of the boy’s future, they should also take guard to avoid his
boy to lying in the same bed with other young ladies who are separated from their husbands
since it has also been noticed on several occasions that such ladies due to their ungratified
sexual desire, they lure the boy to spoil him.
6. Furthermore, sleeping more than one children in the same bed should also be avoided, since
they may handle one another’s male organ. Once they are habitual of this, they would like to
masturbate in seclusion places like bathroom, latrine or in lonely places.
7. The parents should also take care not to indulge themselves in interecourse where the
children are present since it is one of the prime cause of this evil as the children imitate their
parents out of their curiosity.
8. Another cause which invites boy to masturbate is the uncleanliness of the genital organ, since
collection of smegma in the pit of glans leads to sexual excitement in several cases.
Therefore, daily cleanliness of the genital is needed.
9. The other cause of masturbation is rectal worms. The worms cause irritation to the anus and
consequently it gives rise to erection of penis. In such circumstances, boy handles his penis
which gives intense pleasure to masturbate and later it forms the habit of masturbation.
10. Over and above, following are also the causes to excite sexual organs to masturbate :
a. Chronic Constipation.
b. Excessive use of sour foods.
c. Excessive use of stimulating diets such as meat, eggs, tea, etc.
d. Seeing of sexual and love scenes in T. V., cinemas.
e. Reading of amorous literature, novels, etc.
f. Talking of sexual problems with young ladies in seclusion.

There is no definite age is fixed to commence this abuse since long before the attainment of puberty,
boys have been found involved in this practice.

Once the habit of masturbation becomes the part and parcel of life, among young unmarried boy it
may also resort to prostitution, which invites horrible venereal diseases.

 
 Some of the after-effects of masturbation are :
- Fatigue. Feeling tired all the time (low energy)
- The nervous system is affected the most.
- Stress / Anxiety
- Besides the heart, the digestive system, the urinary system as well as the other systems are
adversely affected and consequently the whole body becomes the museum of diseases with profound
weakness.
- The eyes become sunken, the cheek bones protrude and there is a black rim round the eyes.
- Continuous headache and backache.
- Premature Ejaculation
- Dizziness and loss of memory.
- Palpitation of heart on lightest exertion.
- Nervousness.
- Unable to perform any heavy physical or mental work.
- The person dislikes any company and activities and rather likes to sit in seclusion and suffers from
weakness.
- Desire for solitude in order to practice masturbation.
- Melancholy
- Mental depression
- Dullness of mind
- All the senses are impaired.
- Weakness of eye sight
- Thinning hair (the first and principal cause of hair loss is genetic but masturbation will accelerate
your hair loss if you are genetically predisposed )
- Vision becomes dim, the tongue begins to stammer and ears tend to become deaf etc.
- Lastly T. B. or insanity or some other serious disease catch hold of the victim to lead his life to a
close.
- Impotency.
- Weakness of legs and impaired memory
- Feeling guilty after masturbation (like any other sins).
 Masturbation: Good or Bad?

The purpose is to explain why masturbation can be detrimental to life and to encourage people
to abandon the practice. Granted, masturbation may bring temporary pleasure, but it often comes
with the long-term cost of addiction and other sexual problems. Because many people reading this
page are not Christians, I've created a separate section for the spiritually-based points.
If you are a Christian, I encourage you to take a moment to ask God to show you the truth
concerning masturbation.

Non-spiritual points about masturbation

1. Masturbation is addictive! I encourage anyone who doubts masturbation is addictive to see

how many weeks or months they can go without masturbating.
We know now that sexual addictions are in fact self-induced drug addictions.
The chemicals our bodies release during sexual arousal create the same effect on the brain as drugs.
Repeated masturbation reinforces a brain chemistry loop of addiction. (ref: Exposing Porn: Science,
Religion, and the New Addiction, Paul Strand. www.cbn.com, April 2004)
As with drug addiction, masturbation requires an increasing amount of stimulus to achieve
consistent levels of pleasure. This can lead to both an increased frequency of the habit and a never-
ending search for new material to enhance the experience.
2. Masturbation conditions our bodies to respond to self-stimulation, which is self-centered. This
damages our ability to relate to another person sexually. Sex is a relational experience, where we
give attention to another person's needs at least as much as to our own. If we've been serving our
own desires habitually, we may find it difficult to give our partner the attention he or she desires.
Additionally, the hormones released in the brain during sexual arousal cause a bonding to whatever
we are looking at and/or thinking about at the time. This can cause us to be more sexually responsive
to masturbation (and its associated fantasies) than to real sex.
3. Masturbation causes sexual imbalance: Masturbation stirs up our sexual emotions and trains
our bodies to seek sexual release more frequently than normal. Common sense tells us that there
should be a balance between sex and the other activities in our lives. Masturbation disrupts that
balance by training our bodies and minds to expect gratification more frequently than normal. Like a
feedback loop in an amplifier, the imbalance between reality and fantasy can likely drive a person
further into the addiction.
The sexual imbalance can also affect other areas of our lives by diverting energy, time and
resources into sexual activity. For example, a man stays up late each night to surf for porn to
masturbate to. His job performance suffers because he can't stay awake during the day, his family
life sours because he's grouchy, his wife is alienated from him by his lack of affection and interest in
her, and his debt increases because of the credit card charges from the porn sites he's visiting to feed
his habit.
The people most likely to suffer from the imbalance are people who don't have a regular
provision for sexual intimacy (e.g. teens, singles, divorced persons, widowed persons, persons in
sexually dysfunctional marriages). Ironically, these are the same people that may be strongly
tempted to indulge in porn and masturbation. If they whet their appetite by indulging, chances are
that they could easily get hooked in the addictive cycle that the imbalance creates.

“Men could reduce their risk of developing

prostate cancer through regular masturbation,
researchers suggest.”

And they say sexual intercourse may not have the same protective effect because of the
possibility of contracting a sexually transmitted infection, which could increase men's cancer risk.
Men who ejaculated more than five times a week were a third less likely to develop prostate cancer
later in life.

Another theory put forward by the researchers is that ejaculation may induce prostate glands to
mature fully, making them less susceptible to carcinogens.

Dr Chris Hiley, head of policy and research at the UK's Prostate Cancer Charity, told BBC News
Online: "This is a plausible theory."

No really?

“He that findeth his life shall lose it: and he that loseth his life for my sake shall find it.” (Matthew
10:39)  

“For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: and whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find
it.” (Matthew 16:25)

What do you know about monks life?

A monk (Greek: μοναχός, monachos), derived from Greek monos (alone), in modern parlance
also referred to as a monastic, is a person who practices religious asceticism, the conditioning of
mind and body in favor of the spirit, and does so living either alone or with any number of like-
minded people, whilst always maintaining some degree of physical separation from those not sharing
the same purpose. The concept is ancient and can be seen in many religions and in philosophy.
(wikipedia)

Research shows that monks live longer than average

1) http://www.independent.co.uk/news/science/want-to-live-longer-be-a-monk-
645518.html
 Taking up holy orders may not guarantee life after death, but it does ensure a longer one on
earth. New research shows that ministers, priests, vicars, nuns and monks live much longer, and
healthier, than their flocks.

Benedictine monks, the least likely to prematurely succumb to earthly disease, have a mortality
rate almost half that of mere civilians.

Researchers who looked at the mortality rate data for religious professionals in the UK, Europe
and America, found that in all cases, the rates were lower than those of the average population.

The data is based on standardised mortality rates or SMRs of the clergy compared to those of
the same age, sex, and race in the population.

In almost all the data studied, the SMR for the clergy was below 90 per cent which means that
10 per cent fewer clergy died than did ordinary people.

In some clergy, Benedictine monks, Baptist ministers, Lutheran Ministers, Episcopal Priests,
Presbyterian ministers, and catholic nuns, the mortality rate was at least 25 per cent lower than the
general population.

The researchers, reporting in the Journal of Religion and Health this week, found that many of
the religious groups had far less disease, including heart disease and cancer, than other people.

The report details the case of Italian nuns who had taken a vow of silence. Women living in
nearby towns showed the typical increase in blood pressure associated with age, but the nuns' blood
pressure remained virtually the same for the 30-year study.

Tradition predisposes the sisters to refrain from medication, or even from complaining about
health problems. The majority also avoid physical examinations.

Diet has been put forward as a reason for their longevity, but this has been discounted as many
now work and live in the community and share similar diets to those of the average population.

Other reasons put forward include the low levels of occupational stress, low rates of high blood
pressure, high levels of personal resources and contemplative lifestyle of nuns and priests.

2) http://clericalwhispers.blogspot.com/2007/03/monks-may-live-longer-universal.html

Monks may live longer than other men, according to a German study.
The Benedictine publication Missionblatter has published the findings of a demographic survey by
Marc Luy of Rostock, Germany, who analyzed the age of monks in different monasteries and found
that on average, monks live 4 years longer than other men.

Professor Luy admitted that he still does not know why monks live longer.
His hypothesis is that monks smoke less, have a regular daily routine, and do not cease working at
age 65. He also believes that monks’ spiritual lives help them to deal with daily stress.
The reserarcher also found that there is no difference between the average life span of monks and
consecrated women.
 3) http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/health/article3007206.ece

If you want to avoid cancer, live like a monk. That is the inescapable conclusion from research
into one of the world’s most renowned monastic communities. The austere regime of the 1,500
monks on Mount Athos, in northern Greece, begins with an hour’s pre-dawn prayers and is designed
to protect their souls. Their low-stress existence and simple diet (no meat, occasional fish, home-
grown vegetables and fruit) may, however, also protect them from more worldly troubles.

Since 1994, the monks have been regularly tested, and only 11 have developed prostate cancer, a
rate less than one quarter of the international average. In one study, their rate of lung and bladder
cancer was found to be zero.

Haris Aidonopoulos, a urologist at the University of Thessaloniki, said that the monks’ diet, which
calls on them to avoid olive oil, dairy products and wine on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays,
helped to explain the statistics. “What seems to be the key is a diet that alternates between olive oil
and nonolive oil days, and plenty of plant proteins,” he said. “It’s not only what we call the
Mediterranean diet, but also eating the old-fashioned way. Small simple meals at regular intervals
are very important.”

The monks sit in silence while, from a pulpit, passages from the Bible are read in Greek. They eat at
speed – as soon as the Bible passage is over, the meal is officially completed.

Life on Athos has changed little over the past 1,043 years. Breakfast is hard bread and tea. Much of
the day is taken up with chores – cleaning, cooking, tending to crops – followed by a supper,
typically of lentils, fruit and salad, and evening prayers.

So…
Isn’t necessary to be a monk (each man has a talent) to have this kind of life, but u must
respect your body cause nothing is more important than your health.

Is Masturbation Sinful?

Why Is Masturbation Sin?

 Masturbation is a sin because a person consents in their own heart to take sexual gratification
from impure thoughts. It is sinful to indulge in the sexual pleasure that is derived from the
satisfaction of using one's imagination to FIXATE upon obscene images, or obscene actions, or
forbidden sex. Lustfully fixating upon genitals, or sexual acts, is idolatry. This is called: the worship
of obscenities. This is the sin of those addicted to pornography. That's often a "guy" thing.
Alternatively, taking delight in the lust of another, or consummating a fantasy of forbidden sexual
romance, is the sin of adultery in the heart. That's often a "girl" thing. The act of masturbation is an
outward act that confirms that one's heart and mind has consented to an inward act of impurity. Only
by consenting to an imagined act of impurity can one attain orgasm. To attain sexual release, a
person's will consents to LOVE something that is sexually impure.

A sin consists in loving something that God hates, or in hating something that God loves.
Because God is pure love, in one sense there is no hatred in God. But there are actions that God
regards with a COMPLETE ABSENCE of love. There are many things that men can do that God
does not love. In so far as God does not love a human action, according to our way of thinking it can
be said that God hates it. These actions are sins. They are often as hateful to men as they are to God!
What are some things that God does not love? What are some things that, according to our human
way of speaking, we might say that God hates??

Masturbation defiles God's temple and grieves the Holy Spirit: As believers in Jesus Christ, our
bodies are literally temples for God's Holy Spirit, who lives in us. Sexual sin is unique in that it
damages this special union we have with God.
1 Corinthians 6:19 Or do you not know that your body is a sanctuary of the Holy Spirit which
dwells in you, and which you have from God? You are not your own!

Paul alluded to this when he wrote that sexual sin is sinning against our own bodies

1 Corinthians 6:18 Flee sexual immorality! “Every sin that a person can do is outside the body,”
but whoever commits sexual immorality sins against his own body.

God commands us to "honor God with your body"

1 Corinthians 6:20 You were bought with a price! Therefore, glorify God in your body and in your
spirit,which belong to God.

This is a form of spiritual worship that we do physically:

Romans 12:1-2 "Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as
living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God--this is your spiritual act of worship.
2Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your
mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is--his good, pleasing and perfect
will."

Above all, God hates falsehood. God hates any form of lie, rejoicing in cruel lies, or in telling
harmful lies about others. He hates any kind of injustice perpetrated upon his children! God hates
cruelty, or the defrauding of a worker of his just wages. God hates it when one person entices
another person to do something harmful to himself or others: like to worship evil, or to steal, or to
lie, or to take drugs. God also hates impure sexual lust because lust is a false pretense of love. It is a
gross and disordered counterfeit of what should really be a sentiment of holy love. Lust consists in
fixating on the body of another human being as a sexual object - solely for sexual gratification.
When a person lusts, he is making no lasting commitment to the other human being.
He is regarding the other human being's body as a sexual object to be used for his own
gratification - but nothing more! Outside of marriage, a person who lusts is acting as if he would
take another person sexually to be his spouse: but he has absolutely no intention of actually doing so.
That is why LUST IS A LIE.

When the subject of masturbation arises, it always refers to stimulating one's self for the
gratification of sexual lust, or in stimulating one's self sexually while fantasizing about the lust of
another person. In impure sexual fantasy, a person uses his own imagination as a pornographic tool
to give his body the ability to attain sexual gratification. In reality entertaining lustful fantasy is
embracing a falsehood of the heart and mind, in an act of abuse of his own body in order to attain
selfish sexual gratification.
God hates impurity in all it's forms.

God hates the worship of ugliness, or obscenity, or bestiality. A person who might sexually
gratify himself while looking at bestiality is acting as if bestiality is a good thing - when it is a
hateful thing! In the same way: lustfully fixating upon lurid sexual pornography is a behavior that
pretends that some obscene sexual image, or a lurid posture, or an obscene action is a good thing,
when they are nothing but obscene and hateful images! These images are used as objects of false
worship. These obscene images, be they real, photographic, or imaginary, are the objects of the
"worship of obscenities" specifically referred to in the Bible. Do not be deceived! Those who
willfully, and habitually indulge in these acts of impurity, without repentance, will incur eternal
damnation. (Rev. 21:8)

God hates pornography because it is used to degrade human beings: both men and women.
The sole purpose of hard-core pornography is to create and inflame degrading sexual lust, or to
invoke unholy gratification by the enjoyment taken in the degradation of another person. Indulging
in impure lusts, or taking delight in the lust, or degradation of another person constitute the sins of
impurity. Masturbation severely damages a person's ability to accomplish the intended purpose of
loving marital sexuality.

1 CORINTHIANS 6:9 “9 Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the Kingdom of
God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral,b nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor male
prostitutes, nor sodomites “

Holy sexuality is the loving donation between a man and wife of their own bodies to one
another. In marriage it may be enjoyed for holy procreation, or to express romantic love, or simply
for the delight that the freedom marriage affords the spouses to release the tensions of life. It may
even be an act of charity! But it is always a privileged act of special intimacy reserved for spouses
alone. Masturbation, by it's very nature clouds and degrades the purpose and privilege of married
sexuality. Masturbation is a solitary act of gratifying one's own physical urge. Performed as a
solitary act, even in the married state, it degrades the place of honor of the spouse! It often serves to
sexually replace the spouse entirely! This is because masturbation trains a person to abuse his own
sexual powers outside the intended order of God, in a selfish solitary way.
 To fully understand why masturbation is sinful, one must appreciate the holiness of one's own
body, and believe in the true and sacred purpose of human sexuality. The "spiritual union" known as
"a state of grace" consists in God's uniting himself with the body and soul of a human being. The
sanctification of a soul by the grace of God is a spiritual divine union: it is as sacred as marriage
itself! The hearts and minds of Christian people must not be defiled by gratifying themselves by
indulging in impure sexual fantasies, or by abusing their own physical sexual powers.
One's body is the temple of the Holy Spirit! One can no more masturbate in private without
the defiling the temple of the Holy Spirit, than one could masturbate inside a Church without
defiling it! If one believes that his own body is less holy than a physical building, then he does not at
all understand the meaning of the holy gospel, or the awesome holiness of Christian grace.

Masturbation uses your body as an instrument for sin: Your body is to be presented and used
as an instrument for righteousness, not sin.
Ro 6:13 (NIV) Do not offer the parts of your body to sin, as instruments of wickedness, but rather
offer yourselves to God, as those who have been brought from death to life; and offer the parts of
your body to him as instruments of righteousness.

The relationship of Christ with his Church is a supernatural marriage. Christ espouses his
Church as a bride. The marriage of a man and a woman is but a reflection of how intimately God
espouses a soul through the indwelling of his divine grace: which is the indwelling of his Holy
Spirit. All are united to God through Christ, and through Christ all souls are united with each other.
This holy union of souls is called: the "Mystical Body of Christ" - or- "The Church". Christ
espouses his Church as a bride. Christian marriage is only a reflection of this more perfect, and
eternal marriage: that of Christ with his Bride, the Church.

God is jealous of what our hearts and minds consent to indulge in. This is because his love is
intimately personal! God longs to be loved with the affection and loyalty of a spouse! God desires
and intends to enjoin in a spiritual, even matrimonial union with the soul. The union with God of a
soul in a state of grace is a very real participation in God's own divinity! In a state of grace, the soul
mystically participates in the divine life of God himself through the Holy Spirit dwelling within him.
Like committing adultery within a marriage, acts of masturbation break the souls covenant of fidelity
with God. That is why, usually, acts of masturbation are mortal sins.

In a state of grace, God has espoused the soul in a precious spiritual divine union. This
spiritual union is EXACTLY what a "state of grace" consists in.

The essence of the Christian Gospel is God's loving call to all human beings, to accept His
complete forgiveness for past sins, and to enter into a new kind of life, sanctified and empowered by
divine grace. This is truly a wonderful new life of spiritual union with God. The supernatural power
experienced by souls who are truly come to know God in this way is awesome! This is why so many
thousands of martyrs chose to spill their blood for Christ, rather than to renounce him. They were not
choosing death - giving up their very lives - for some false, imaginary experience! When a soul is
truly sanctified the supernatural power of divine grace: the soul is 'born again'. With every passing
day, the soul is drawn ever deeper into union with God. This process of being born again is not
something that happens only once: it is an ongoing process of supernatural sanctification through the
continuous infusion of divine grace. The soul is renewed daily, as it is continuously perfected as a
new creation. This 'metanoia', this rebirth of new life in Christ occurs by an ongoing renewal of the
mind and heart, through continually increasing in the grace of God. The grace of God is first planted
in the soul like a seed: then the soul continues to grow in the life of grace - in spite of blight, and
freeze, and sin. There are many difficulties, and crosses, and sins - which confront the soul in it's
spiritual journey.

Masturbation, whether it be done while watching a pornographic movie, or while fixating

upon obscene pictures, or by using one's own imagination as a tool to focus upon a fantasy of
forbidden sex offends God's sense of intimacy and decency: just as such actions would offend a
spouse! God considers such actions infidelities, and they grievously offend him! For this reason such
actions gravely jeopardize the soul's state of unitive grace. By "cheating" on God, the Holy Spirit is
offended by an "adultery of the heart". He flees, offended by such sins - and the soul is left alone!
The mortal sin breaks the bond of the indwelling sanctifying grace of God! This of course, supposes
that the person has ever really understood, or undergone a true Christian conversion. Adolescents
may still be "on the way." Adolescents should regard temptations against purity much like Satan's
promise to Eve: "go ahead - eat of the forbidden fruit: you will not die." Satan's temptation is a false
promise intended to trap them in obsessive compulsive behaviors: to which they are, in fact,
extremely vulnerable - even though they do not realize this until after they have sinned.

Saint Paul is very clear about this: "Do not let anyone deceive you with empty arguments.
Among you their must not even be mention of fornication, promiscuity, or impurity in any of it's
forms! You can be quite certain that no one who actually indulges in promiscuity, or impurity -
which is worshiping a a false god - can inherit any thing of the kingdom of God! Impure things that
are done in secret, are things that people are ashamed even to speak of! Immoral behavior such as
this brings down God's anger upon the children of disobedience. Make sure you are not included
among them! You were in darkness once, but now you are light in the Lord! Be like children of
light! The effects of this light are manifest by complete goodness, and truth, and right living.
Anything exposed to the light will be illuminated, and anything illuminated turns into light. So, be
very careful about the sort of lives you lead. Pray the psalms, and sing to the Lord in your heart!
Everywhere you are, give thanks to the Lord! This may be a wicked age, but you can redeem it!"
(Ephesians 5: 2-15)

The 10 Commandments are also very clear: "I, the Lord, am a jealous God!" "Thou shalt not
commit adultery!" "Thou shalt NOT COVET thy neighbors wife!" Jesus said: "If a man looks at a
woman with lust in his eye, he has committed adultery with her in his heart." In another place he
says: "If your right hand offends you ... cut it off! It is better to enter into heaven with only one
hand, than to sin with your hand ... and go to hell." He concludes this teaching in the book of
Revelation: "I am the Alpha and Omega, the Beginning and the End. I will reward with eternal life
anyone who proves victorious! Eternal life is the inheritance for everyone who proves victorious!
But, the legacy for cowards, for those who break their word, or for murderers, or fortunetellers, or
fornicators, or those who worship obscenities-- and all idolaters, or any other sort of liar: is the
second death in the burning lake of sulphur. (Rev. 21:8)

Don't listen to some asinine teacher, or psychologist who tells you that: masturbation is
"normal" and quite all right. Masturbation may be "normal" in a civilization where child rape and
murder happen almost everyday. Masturbation may be normal in a society with hard-core
pornography channels available on every TV cable or satellite system. Masturbation may be normal
where lurid pornographic images are spammed constantly to every Internet user: But masturbation is
NOT all right!
 People who do not understand that masturbation is sinful do not understand the true nature of
grace. Nor do they understand the great dignity and spiritual power present in the heroic Christian
life which results in eternal glory. They have no comprehension of the holiness, or the intimate
spiritual relationship, to which human beings are called by God. Every opinion such people have
may be tainted by this blindness. They may take the name of the Lord Jesus Christ constantly - and
yet they imagine that they have some "enlightenment" about masturbation? Most people in this day
and age fall into this category. At their very best they are simply ignorant. At their worst, they are
vicious pornographers or sexual predators striving to corrupt the souls of others by their own slavery
to sexual lust. Among these sexual predators are debaucherous young men who seek to seduce
young women, or young women who seek to incite men to lust for the evil and impure gratification,
which they, in turn, take from the lust of the men.

These average people do not realize that they are only one step away from being exactly like
the predator who would try to corrupt a child with sexuality. No matter what age a person is, it is
very sinful to incite another person to commit acts of sexual immorality. Molestation is more than a
violation of trust, or a violation of social responsibility, it consists in the corruption and defilement
of an innocent heart! For adults also, it is very sinful to attempt to incite another to lust. After
adolescence, people may begin to practice the more commonly recognized sins of debauchery, and
harlotry. The nature of these sins, consist in inciting a person of the opposite sex to lust. For children
- or for adults: "It would be better to have a millstone tied around your neck and be cast into the sea,
than to be responsible for leading astray any of these little ones."

THE REALITY

Remaining pure is NOT easy. Living a pure life is the hardest thing in the world to do! So, it is
NO surprise that people find it extremely difficult live up to Christian ideals. God is a loving father
who understands this! He loves His children, and patiently nurtures them. He is very concerned with
rescuing his children from traps, and powerfully leading them to spiritual maturity. To do this, he
must be quick to forgive! So he always picking them up, forgiving them, renewing them, and
empowering them with even greater graces. Still, it must be very clear what is right and wrong!
Masturbation is wrong! If you could shoot heroin just once it wouldn't be so bad. But it does not
work out that way. Likewise, masturbation is not something people just do "occasionally." If the
urge is not resisted, it quickly becomes a habit. It's a nasty habit of continually consenting mentally
and spiritually to acts of sexual impurity.
(James 1:14) “But every man is tempted, when he is drawn away of his own lust, and enticed.”

It is very true that sexual tension's can be almost impossible to endure! Sometimes they feel
unbearable. But that's OK! This is life - this is human reality - like it or not! This is the most
corrupted generation in human history for widespread, unbridled sexual promiscuity. Human beings
ARE sexual creatures! The instinct for sex can be overwhelming for both men and women! Sexual
images, pornography, and enticements to sexual vanity are everywhere! It is a slippery slope! From
gorgeous fashion models, to the M-TV bare-belly dirty dancing culture: the whole civilization is
enticed into pride, lust, fornication, adultery, vanity, addiction to pornography, masturbation, and
consequently the complete loss of appreciation for the power of grace, or the true purpose of
sexuality and marriage.
Paul said : “7 Indeed,I wish that everyone would be like me. However, each person has his own
gift from God, one of this kind, and another of that kind. 8 Still, I say this to
those who are unmarried and to widowsa as well: it is good for them if they
remain as I am. 9 But if they do not have self-control, let them marry.
Indeed, it is better to marry than to burn.” (1 CORINTHIANS 1:7-9)

One of the difficulties with masturbation in the minds of many people is that it is automatically
assumed that sexual fantasies must be used in order to gain the amount of stimulation needed for
orgasm to take place. While it is true that sexual fantasies CAN be used, there is nothing which
suggests that they MUST be used.
God has placed within us a wide capacity for response to various stimuli.
The viewing of pornography is actually detrimental to the experience, since the person looking at it
knows there is no way of ever fulfilling the fantasies that he is locked into while using pornography.
And since pornography is clearly a violation of the commandment not to lust after a person, such
activity introduces the element of sin into an experience that should have been used for the glory of
God.

So what can be thought about during masturbation? That brings us to our final "boundary"
Scripture, found in Colossians 3:17: "Whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the
name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him."

And a companion Scripture is found in Colossians 3:1-2: "Since, then, you have been raised with
Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your
minds on things above, not on earthly things."

People who imagine that masturbation is 'normal', are woefully ignorant of the obvious reality
that it is the devil himself who is the author of both lust and incest. Any internet search for "SEX" -
has the unmistakable signature of degrading satanic impurity written on every page! The same
people who would maintain that masturbation is normal - pretend that it exists in a world apart from
the the disgusting, and degrading world of pornography? What do these fools imagine would happen
to the pornography, or phone-sex industries: if masturbation was entirely removed from the
equation? There would be no such things! Sexuality is the Achilles heel for struggling mankind - and
the devil knows this well! Above all things, Satan is committed to constantly tempting men with
powerful enticements to lust. Satan longs to trap men and woman by enticing them to honor what is
false, vane, impure, self indulgent, ugly, or degrading.

God told the great St. Catherine of Sienna that if He did not uphold her by his grace, there
would be no way that she could resist the powerful sexual temptations presented to her by the devil!
It was revealed to the Spanish mystic, Venerable Mary of Agreda, that anyone who resisted a
powerful sexual temptation overcomes a more difficult test than the test which caused Satan and the
other angels to fall! Anyone who resists such a temptation gains more heavenly glory on that one
occasion than the angels have! That's why the inheritance of the victorious is eternal glory! At the
First Council of the Church in Jerusalem, there were only two things that were decided to be
absolutely necessary for Christians: #1) Refrain from fornication -- (which means that Christians
MUST remain pure in thoughts, words, and deeds); #2) Not to participate in diabolic pagan blood
rituals. (Acts 15:29)

THE ANSWER!
 The saints teach that the grace of purity is only given to the humble! "Knowing" what is right-
living, and actually living right, are two very different things. Conquering temptation against purity
is the work of a lifetime! Everyone, married or single, young or old, is challenged in this area.
People fall continually! You are not so great that you do not deserve to be tried in this area like every
other human being! You will be tried. And, you may fall.
But, your human vulnerability must not cause you to loose heart: for your very soul is at stake!
You must fight this fight to the death against your fallen human nature! With the grace of God you
will prove victorious over this difficult human challenge!

Everyone sins. Every human being who has ever lived has suffered identical problems or
temptations. Sexual impurity is something that should be rejected, but it is not something to be
horribly ashamed of. Lust is the natural consequence of the disordered sexual instinct of fallen
human nature. Men must be strengthened by divine grace. Masturbation is just a very common sin!
Like all sin it must be conquered! But it can only be conquered with the help of the grace of God. If
someone has contracted the habit of masturbation, sometimes the sudden physical impulse is
unavoidable! But consenting to a life style of sin IS avoidable! Consenting to a lifestyle of sin, is
damnable! The object is to fight the fight! Don't just give up, and resign yourself to an eternity in
hell for being a mealy-mouthed masturbator! If someone has contracted a habit, they simply need to
recognize it, admit it to themselves, to God, and to another human being.

Most importantly, a person must then target this area of their life with continual prayer that they
be delivered from temptation! No one can resist such temptations if they entertain them! Sexual
temptations become overwhelmingly powerful. One must learn to reject the even the slightest
occasion of sin. People must learn to practice strict custody of their eyes in public; and they must
learn to recognize the evil spirit of lust who constantly creeps at the door of their imagination.
Demons can incite feelings of lust in the most saintly of souls! St. Francis DeSales said that every
other temptation must be fought - but the only victor in the war against impurity is the coward - who
quickly rejects the tempter himself, and runs away from the temptation as fast as he can! Your
guardian angel will warn you - but only once. If you do not immediately heed the warning and reject
the temptation: you will fall. (This applies to unmarried couples playing with fire as well. You must
push away, get up, and go - NOW! No rationalizing. No begging. No bargaining. Just give a quick
smile, and say: "I HAVE to go!" Then GET GONE!)

St. Therese the Little Flower stated that whenever she felt tempted, she would immediately turn
away from the temptation and RUN to Jesus! She would immediately, and desperately call to Jesus,
and tell him that the enemy was attacking His kingdom! She regularly called upon him to come and
defend his kingdom! That "kingdom" was her soul. The "kingdom of God" consists inside the souls
of his children. Therese said that Jesus would always drive the tempter away, so Therese never fell!
St. Faustina said that she was finally delivered from temptations against purity only after many years
of advanced holiness.

Luke 14:28 (NIV) "Suppose one of you wants to build a tower. Will he not first sit down and estimate
the cost to see if he has enough money to complete it? For if he lays the foundation and is not able to
finish it, everyone who sees it will ridicule him, saying, 'This fellow began to build and was not able
to finish.'"

God's grace will prevail ... if a person will fight the fight! A person must be prepared to fall a
hundred times, and to confess their sins each time. They must completely acknowledge and admit to
their own human weakness, and then continually pray not to be put to the test. As people become
convinced of their own weakness, they grow in sincere humility. Then, Gods grace prevails!
Remember, the grace of purity is only given to the humble! To "prove victorious" in anything, one
needs to continually pray to be delivered from temptation! Human beings are dependent upon God
in every aspect of their emotional lives.
As one grows in his dependence upon God, one will learn that he can only be victorious when
God himself delivers him. This applies to all temptations, anxieties, or addictions! Vigilance must
remain the work of a lifetime! People must never stop seeking the forgiveness and grace of God,
asking for his help, getting up and trying again. God forgives a million times a million times! He
anticipates men with his grace. He continually gives new strength. He perfects men one step at a
time! Not in a month, or a year, but in a life time!

Masturbation reinforces "carnal-mindedness": Masturbation sets our minds on gratifying our

sinful desires and in so doing we become "carnally minded." Paul wrote: Live by the Spirit, and you
will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature. For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the
Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature. They are in conflict with each other

Galatians 5:16-17 “I say this: walk by the Spirit,d and you will not fulfill the lust of the flesh.
17What the {fallen} flesh desires is against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh! Yes, these are
in opposition to one another, so that you may not do the things that you desire.

Carnal-mindedness destroys our life and peace and keeps us from pleasing God.

Romans 8:5-8 “For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh,
but those who live according to the Spirit [set their minds] on the things of the Spirit. 6 The mind of
the flesh is death, but the mind of the Spirit is life and peace. 7 This is because the mind of the flesh
is hostile towards God; certainly, it is not subject to God’s law, and indeed it cannot be. 8 Those
who are in the flesh cannot please God.”

Overall, masturbation can rob you of many of the blessings God has planned for your life.
Masturbation poses the threat of lifelong bondage and a handicapped spiritual walk. Jesus was
resurrected so that you also could live in a new life, free from the slavery of sin.

"What ever you are sure of, be sure of this: that you are dreadfully like other people" - James
Russell Lowell
"Humility is to make a right estimate of ones own self" - Charles Haddon Spurgeon
"Good people are good, because they've come to wisdom through failure." - William Saroyn
"I am a man. Nothing human is alien to me." - Terence
"There is no meaning to life except the meaning man gives to his life by the correct use of his
powers." - Eric Fromm
"My offenses: truly I know them." - Psalm 51
"We find peace only by resisting our passions, not by giving in to them." - Imitation of Christ
(Chap.6)
"If you yourself live in continence, do not judge the one who lusts. For if you do, just like him you
disobey the law. The one who said "do not lust" also said: "do not judge." - A desert Father
"Understanding is the reward of faith. Therefore, seek not to understand that you may believe, but
to believe that you may understand." - Saint Augustine
"Turn to me and be safe all you ends of the earth, for I am God - there is no other. By my own self I
swear it, uttering my unalterable decree: to me every knee will bend, and every tongue shall confess
saying, 'only in the Lord are there just deeds and power'." - Isaiah 45:20

Gaining Control Over Masturbation

and Internet Pornography!

If you have been engaged in repetitive masturbation with pornography on the internet, this
reading is especially for you. You have tried to stop many times only to face returning again and
again. It's an addiction. An addiction is an unwanted habit that is out of your control. It takes over
before you can do anything to stop it. But now you're disgusted and ashamed about yourself, you've
become more secretive in hiding this from others, and discouraged or even depressed about it. And if
you are a biblically faithful Christian, you also are feeling sinful and guilty before God.
How do you begin to get even a little self-control over this habit? You will find in this writing some
ideas, concepts and especially some very practical things to do to begin getting control. All you have
to bring to this is a real desire and committment to follow what you are asked to do.
Here's a prayer I'd like you to say each day:

1) Our Father

Our Father, Who art in heaven,

hallowed be Thy Name;
Thy Kingdom come;
Thy will be done,
on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread
and forgive us our trespasses
as we forgive those who trespass against us,
and lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from the evil one.

2) Prayer to the Holy Spirit

O Heavenly King, the comfortor, the spirit of Truth, Who art present everywhere and fillest all
things; Treasury of Blessings and Giver of Life; come and abide in us and cleanse us from every
stain, and save our souls, O Gracious One.
 3) The Creed (Symbol of Faith)

I believe in one God, the Father Almighty, Maker of heaven and earth, and of all things visible
and invisible;
And in one Lord, Jesus Christ, the Son of God, the Only-begotten, begotten of the Father before
all ages; Light of Light, true God of true God; begotten, not made; being of one essence with the
Father; by Whom all things were made;
Who for us men, and for our salvation, came down from the Heavens, and was incarnate of the
Holy Spirit and the Virgin Mary, and became man;
And was crucified for us under Pontius Pilate, suffered and was buried;
And arose again on the third day according to the Scriptures;
And ascended into the Heavens, and sitteth at the right hand of the Father;
And shall come again, with glory, to judge both the living and the dead; Whose Kingdom shall
have no end;
And in the Holy Spirit, the Lord, the Giver of life; Who proceedeth from the Father; Who with the
Father and the Son together is worshipped and glorified; Who spake by the Prophets;
In One, Holy, and Apostolic Church.
I confess one baptism for the remission of sins.
I look for the resurrection fo the dead,
And the life of the age to come. † Amen †

4) Psalm 50 of David

1 Have mercy upon me, O God, according to your great mercy;

according to the multitude of your compassions blot out my transgression.
2 Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin.
3 For I am conscious of my iniquity;and my sin is continually before me.
4 Against you alone have I sinned and done evil before you: that you might be justified in your sayings and
overcome in your judgments.
5 For, behold, I was conceived in iniquities and in sins did my mother conceive me.
6 For, behold, you love truth: you have manifested to me the secret and hidden things of your wisdom.
7 You shall sprinkle me with hyssop and I shall be purified: you shall wash me and I shall be made whiter
than snow.
8 You shall cause me to hear gladness and joy: the afflicted bones shall rejoice.
9 Turn away your face from my sins and blot out all my iniquities.
10 Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit in my inner being.
11 Do not cast me away from your presence; and do not remove your holy Spirit from me.
12 Restore to me the joy of your salvation: establish me with your guiding Spirit.
13 Then will I teach transgressors your ways; and ungodly men shall return to you.
14 Deliver me from bloodguiltiness, O God, the God of my salvation: then my tongue shall joyfully declare
your righteousness.
15 O Lord, you shall open my lips; and my mouth shall declare your praise.
16 If you desired sacrifice, I would have given it: you will not take pleasure in whole-burnt-offerings.
17 Sacrifice to God is a broken spirit: a broken and humbled heart God will not despise.
18 Do good, O Lord, to Zion in your good pleasure; Let the walls of Jerusalem be rebuilt.
19 Then shall you be pleased with a sacrifice of righteousness, With offering and whole-burnt sacrifices:
then shall they offer calves upon your altar.

You Begin by Cleaning House!

Take as many of these practical and specific steps as you can as soon as possible.
• Get rid of all saved internet pornography, do it rapidly, without hesitation, do it now. Clean your
computer of all pornography.
If you need to, download a program like "Content Purity" which will clean your computer of
pornography.
• Videos
• Saved urls, porn sites, telephone numbers, IM addresses, etc.
• Pictures
• All of your search histories, temp files, all those porn words typed in.
• Consider putting a block on your computer for pornography
• Start thinking about an Accountability person in whom you can confide your addiction.
• If you have associations who are sources of temptation to you,begin to plan to diminish or end
those relationships.
• "Windows": by "Windows" I'm referring to the time of day or circumstances that are the usual
times when you get into masturbation and pornography. Is there a pattern? Do you
usually get into porn and masturbation late at night? Early morning? after work? weekend only?
What is your Window?
NOW, that's the Window you must close. Close it! Change your internet time.! Set rules for yourself
like "I am not allowed to use the internet between 12 noon and 4pm."
• Consider moving your computer to a public part of the room, if that is feasible.
• Consider letting someone else share your computer.
• Consider someone else checking your computer for porn.
• What else comes to mind which you can do to diminish your use of the computer for masturbation
and pornography?

The Four Steps! Key to Selfcontrol

OK, you have considered or will do those things above. That's just the beginning. Now it's time
to deal with you, with what happens in you and how you need to work on yourself to gain control
over addictive masturbation and pornography.
You need to gain an inner awareness of your mental-emotional functioning which will put you in
charge of your internal life; your thoughts, feelings and experiences.
You need to be able to think more rationally about things, take charge of unexpected feelings, and
gain control over impulsive behavior. We want to help you gain the abiliy for Self observation >
self-objectivity > self-discipline > self-control.
Let's say you have a temptation about wanting to see a naked person. You quickly turn to the internet
consuming time finding the images or videos you want, and you masturbate to climax.
How can you deal with that situation more positively?
We want you to learn these FOUR STEPS in dealing with temptation to
sexual sin. We think these will make the difference for you in gaining control.
(1) Stop (2) Stand back (3) Speak (4)Distract
You have a thought about a naked person just as you sit down before your computer. You
STOP and observe, "I'm having a sexual thought!"(self-observation). You might say "STOP" inside
your head, or even out loud, and forcefully, "STOP, STOP, STOP
NOW". Go ahead, practice it right now!
Having observed that you are having a sexual thought or inclination, you STAND BACK from
yourself and say, "Hey, I better be careful! This could be trouble for me! This is a
situation that causes me trouble. Come on now, I know this is a trap for me!" (self-obectivity)
Now comes a very important step, you SPEAK to yourself about why engaging in pornography and
masturbation is self-destructive and sinful. (self-discipline) What good reasons do you have to not go
any further and stop right now?
You must come up with your own list, you must actually make a list (start doing it now) and
keep it on you or near the computer. You should have a list of at least FIVE reasons why you don't
want to engage in sexual behavior.Here's a typical list which might help! The list usually includes
God, others, your own self-image, self-esteem, etc.
1.(GOD) It will mess up my relationship to my Father God. I want to stay in fellowship with
Him and not quench the Spirit.God loves me and I will not jeopardize that love. If I give in to this
temptation I'll feel like I've backslidden once again, and I know how bad that makes me feel.
2.(OTHERS) What if my wife, my kids, my church family knew that I was watching
pornography? Look into their faces; go ahead, look into their faces! What will that make you feel
like? Shame, shame, shame, devastated, rotten!
3.(SELF) I know I'm going to feel rotten and discouraged and disgusted with myself if I do it! I
will hit another miserable low in my life.
4.(SELF) I know my self-esteem will plummit again and I will get depressed.
5.(SELF) I don't want to feel like a hypocrite, a phony and a jerk!
6."I know I can do all things with the help of God"
7."No temptation has seized me that's any different than all people go through. And God is
faithful; he will not let me be tempted beyond what I can manage; so that when I am tempted, he will
also provide a way out so that I can stand up to it."
8."Help me Lord Jesus Christ, by your cross, your blood, your Holy Spirit; help me!"
Now you DISTRACT yourself (self-control). You get busy with what you are supposed to be doing
at the computer. Or, if the temptation continues, you get up, turn off the computer, and get involved
in something else, you could pray, you could read the bible (certainly this help your mind to be
detached) talk to someone, sing a hymn, dance, etc.
Distraction is very important with sexual temptations because with sexual arousal comes a bodily
bio-chemical hormonal change which does not shut down unless your mental-emotional attention is
invested in something else which steals your attention away from your sexual images and bodily
sensations.
You see the real things behind sexual addition is the whole psychological emotionalchemical "high"
which you get prior to, and culminating in "orgasm".
I recommend you the Jesus Prayer, also called the Prayer of the Heart and "Prayer of the Mind as
a short, formulaic prayer often uttered repeatedly:
“O Lord Jesus Christ Son of God,have mercy on me, the sinner.”

Renewing Your Four Vitalizing

Relationships as a Substitute for
Sexual Addiction
GOD, Others, Self and Work

All the above things in "Cleaning House" and "The Four Steps" are the most practical and
immediate things you must do and practice. But there is something else underlying the tendency to
get into sexual addictive behavior. It has to do with the quality of your FOUR critical relationships in
life.
All people strive to be happy in life. That goes without saying!
We all try to arrange our lives so that we feel stable, content and well. We try to arrange both our
outer environment and our inner environment in such a way that we have a sense of outer-inner
equilibrium, balance, stability. We all want to feel alive, useful, productive, loved and worthwhile
(to name just a few).
But at times the challenges, choices and changes of life disturb that equilibrium and we then work to
resolve things and return once again to a state of happiness and stability.
I call this seeking after happiness and stability the state of feeling ; of feeling fully alive and well,
content and worthwhile, useful and productive, loved and appreciated by others,
loved and cared for and close to God. Jesus came to bring abundant life which begins with a
renewed relationship to God.
The SAM (Sexually Addictive Man) also seeks to be vitalized but has learned a pattern of using
sex as a primary source of being vitalized. This obsession-compulsion with sex is immature,
unfulfilling, and destructive to life relationships, to self , and to his relationship with God. He is very
vulnerable to returning to a sexual outlet for a sense of vitalized feeling. This is when he engages in
pseudo-vitalizing sex.
Being authentically and maturely vitalized seems to be related to our satisfaction in four areas: our
relationship to our Self, to God, to some Others, and to our Work. These are the sources of true
vitalization and contentment in life which God has provided. "Love God, love your neighbor, as you
love yourself!"
Without realizing just where their happiness and contentment is coming from, most people, after
some self-examination, would tell you they are happy when these four areas are fulfilling and
satisfying. Conversely, when there is dissatisfaction in one or more of these areas, you can be sure
you are not feeling fully vitalized. Think about this for yourself!
 The SAM who is effectively eliminating sexual addiction is at the same time replacing it with
improvement, renewal and development of these four vitalizing life relationships. What signs will
you see in yourself if you are making progress?
1. You are settling the underlying emotional, psychological, social issues related to the development
of sexual addiction.
2. You are becoming increasingly more self-integrated, selfaccepting, at peace with yourself and
emotionally mature.
3. You are becoming predominantly free from obsessive sexual interests, pursuits or behavior.
4. You are growing as a person and as a Christian. You are forming and renewing healthy,
wholesome relationships with others, God, yourself and your work.

1.With GOD

- What's your relationship to God like? Do you know God as your caring, protecting, providing
Father who loves you. Do you know Jesus as the teacher of spiritual wisdom, your healer, your
deliverer, your good Physician and good Shepherd? Do you know the presence and Voice of God's
Spirit in you, who brings you Counsel, Correction, Conviction, Comfort, Conversion, Confession,
Cleansing, Consoling, Convincing, Communion with God, and Conforms you to the image of Jesus
Christ?
Is there prayer, Bible study and meditation, Christian fellowship in a church, service to others, and
some form of witnessing to others of your faith? All these describe the life of a fervent, faithful, filial
child of God whose relationship to God is vital and alive.

2.With OTHERS

- Can you say, "I have good, intimate, rewarding, responsible relationships with some people I am
very close to, and I have friends, associates and companions as well. I enjoy people and have
fellowship with the family of God. My relationships are all meaningful,
responsible and resolved." Is there some leftover work to do in person or in your heart with a person
living or dead? Is there need for more intimacy with your spouse, forgiveness with a family member,
responsibility for your children?
Most people have someone in their past or present family life who they must reconcile with or
resolve the relationship. It may be a parent, a sibling, or a friend.
First, your Family! It is our belief and conviction that sexual compulsions begin in the family and
from early experiences with peers. Many times painful or shameful sexual experiences, which
attacked self-esteem and sexual security have been suppressed, forgotten, repressed and sent to the
unconscious burial ground of our lives. They need to be gently recalled by the Holy Spirit so that
they may be healed and integrated into our lives rather than left as unresolved obstacles or as broken
threads in the garment of personality. You can aid this healing process by beginning to recall both
specific troublesome memories of events ( not always sexual) as well as feelings, impressions and
experiences which occurred in your family, with your peers, and in your development. Work with
these sentences as a way to begin:
I recall once when my father….
I recall how my mother….
I remember my sister….
I remember my brother…….
I had a friend with whom…
In childhood I often felt…
In elementary school…
In middle school…
In high school….
I remember this one experience especially when....
I sexually exploited ....
I was sexually exploited by.......
When Ron began to gather his past together, stimulated by the above questions, the Spirit led him
to recall some emotionally charged feelings, events and memories. “I recall once when my father hit
me because I tried to stand up for myself. He didn't mean to hit me as hard as he did and I went
flying against the wall. He never apologized for that. And after that incident I told myself I would
never forgive him. I know now that I couldn't identify with my father as a male which left me with
some unfinished sexual identity issues. On top of it, I recall how my mother would bribe me into
doing things I didn't want to do at home. I began to feel that women were bossy and mean.
In childhood I often felt like "crap!" In elementary school, I'd rather not remember it. In middle
school it was a total humiliation.
This is when kids started making fun of me because I wasn't as sexually sophisticated as they
were. In high school I tried so hard to be "normal" it makes me want to cry. I lived such a secret life
of sexual confusion right through high school. I began to masturbate
frequently and found a place where I could get pornographic material. But no one had any idea that I
had an intense, obsessive interest in sexual things"
Is there anyone in your immediate family or family of origin with whom you know in your heart you
need to resolve certain feelings or address certain wounded events or experiences? Who? How will
you do it? When? Next, your Friends!Do you have friends? Is there anyone among your friends with
whom you know in your heart you need to resolve certain feelings or address certain wounded
events or experiences? Who? How will you do it? When? Last, your Companions! Is there anyone
among companions at work or church with whom you know in your heart you need to resolve
certain feelings or address certain wounded events or experiences? Are there people you could reach
out to? Are there people you avoid? Who? How will you do it? When?

3.With SELF

First, your Body! How do you feel and what do you think of your body; both past and present?
How does God see your body?
1Cor 6:18 Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he
who sins sexually sins against his own body. 19Do you not know that your body is a temple of the
Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; 20you were
bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.
What about body weight, exercise, diet and general health?
Next, your Soul! Your soul may be thought of as your selfimage and selfesteem.
Are they is acceptable to you? Can you say; "I don't spend a lot of energy on having to defend
myself."
Self-esteem is the way you feel about yourself. Self-Image is the way you think about
yourself. How you feel about yourself (Self-Esteem) is that deep, underlying sense of how
significant, confident, and worthwhile you feel about yourself and is more important to your
emotional well-being than your selfimage (how others see you and you think of yourself).
Self- esteem is the basis of your faith in yourself, hope in yourself, and love of yourself. When
your self-faith, self-hope, and self-love are threatened or inadequate, you begin to relate to all of life
with insecurity, and this is a setup for addictive behavior. Low Self-Esteem (LSE), correctly
understood, is the first stage of all life-dominating and emotional problems. It arises from some form
of dysfunctional family upbringing or inadequate social and psychological development. LSE results
in an inability to accept oneself (one's SELF) emotionally. It reflects an inability to be in touch with
oneself emotionally or to be self-rejecting in some way because when we are children, feelings equal
myself.
Having one's emotions and feelings acknowledged, understood, accepted, and responded to gives
the young child an adequate and acceptable SELF or Self-Esteem. Not having his feelings
acknowledged or accepted by others or himself establishes a rift or inner separation. This all emerges
from some form of dysfunctionality in the family environment. It has been said that the three rules of
a dysfunctional family are, "Don't feel, don't talk about your feelings, don't trust others or your
feelings." In such a family low self-esteem is formed; a root condition for Christians struggling with
sexual addictiveness. Low self-esteem is formed in childhood as a result of negative situations the
child experiences such as the following. You might want to check, underline or mark the ones that
apply to you:
• • Receiving an inordinate amount of criticism
• • Failing to receive affection, support, respect, and/or encouragement
• • Being constantly teased, picked on, or laughed at
• • Being the target of verbal, physical, sexual, or emotional abuse
• • Receiving overly strict, cruel, or age-inappropriate punishment
• • Being expected to be the emotional support for the parent
• • Being ridiculed for thoughts, perceptions, or performance
• • Having parents consistently take the side of others against the child
• • Being shamed when alone or in front of others
• • Being neglected because parents are too busy or emotionally unavailable
• • Having their feelings be consistently ignored and discounted
• • Being negatively compared to other siblings or other children in the community
• • Being threatened with abandonment
• • Being abandoned and/or unwanted
• • Not being allowed to participate in school activities, play with neighbors and friends, or do
normal things other kids do.
• • Being blamed for the parent's current problems
• • Being told "You were a mistake!"
• • Being treated as an adult with expectations beyond the child's capabilities.
• • Not being taught appropriate social skills
• • Not being encouraged in school and other personal endeavors
• • Being ill as a child and unable to participate in normal activities

Self-esteem is a sense of how I feel about myself, my worth, my significance, my lovableness,

my adequacy. When an adequate sense of self-esteem is not achieved, low self-esteem results.
Renewing an acceptance of one's self is an important step in maturity and the resolution of sexual
compulsiveness.
Last, your Spirit or Heart! I am in touch with my ideals, morals, values and God the Holy
Spirit. Can I hear the Spirit voice of Jesus speak in my heart. Am I remaining sensitive and alive and
receptive to His voice?
In 1 Cor 2: 6 We do, however, speak a message of wisdom among the mature, but not the wisdom of
this age or of the rulers of this age, who are coming to nothing.
7No, we speak of God's secret wisdom, a wisdom that has been hidden and that God destined for our
glory before time began.
8None of the rulers of this age understood it, for if they had, they would not have crucified the Lord
of glory.
9However, as it is written: "No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God
has prepared for those who love him"[b]—
10but God has revealed it to us by his Spirit. The Spirit searches all things, even the deep things of
God.
11For who among men knows the thoughts of a man except the man's spirit within him? In the same
way no one knows the thoughts of God
except the Spirit of God.
12We have not received the spirit of the world but the Spirit who is from God, that we may
understand what God has freely given us.

4.With WORK

"Idleness is the devil's workshop."

First, your Work! Do you have a job for livelihood which is financially adequate, rewarding,
interesting and fulfilling? Every person must find some fulfillment in what they do for a living. What
you do for a living is called WORK.
We have discovered that some SAMs are not feeling fulfilled and happy in their work.
This is a phenomenon which we have observed over and over again! It is that so many are career
dissatisfied, delayed or diverted. What do we mean?
We simply mean that for some reason or reasons, many SAMs have never found the work in life
which brings them true fulfillment.
They are dissatisfied with what they are doing, or they have delayed doing what they think would be
more fulfilling, or they have been diverted to do a work which they simply fell into or gravitated
toward for some reason. Why? Was it because they were so preoccupied with their sexuality issues?
Was it because they could not find role models of their same gender to whom they could turn for
career interests?
Many are doing work which is displeasing to them. They are unfulfilled in their work. Others have
often used so much emotional energy on their emotional growth that they were unable to invest in
their careers appropriately. What about yourself? Are you doing the work which satisfies you?
Next, your Vocation! Have you discovered your spiritual gifts and are you engaged in some
ministry ot service which benefits the members of the Body of Christ?
There is more to a man’s productiveness than work. There is Vocation. Vocation means “calling”.
Vocation has to do with the fact that all saved Christians are called by God in one way or another to
serve His kingdom.
There are no exceptions to this! If you are a Christian, you are called "unto good works".
Vocation for the Christian is work for God's kingdom. Every Christian man and woman, and
especially overcomers, should seek and understand what is their "calling" or vocation.
It will bless you and help you gain perspective on yourself and how God is working in your life.
Ephesians 2:10, "For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God
hath before ordained that we should walk in them."
Take hold of this truth: God ordained certain good works wherein we would walk. Not only did He
ordain them before the world was created. Before every good work which we perform, He gave us
the power and desire so that His eternal counsel would be fulfilled in the smallest detail.
We should thank him for giving us that which we could not even want to receive. We owe Him
thanks for all of our salvation as well as for all of our natural possessions and talents. We are,
indeed, saved by grace, not by our works, but have been called to perform works for God's kingdom.
It was Martin Luther who made the statement, "We are justified by faith alone, but not by a
faith that is alone." What he meant was that true faith will always demonstrate itself by good works.
James 2:26 26 “As the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without deeds (or works) is dead.”
So, works of service and ministry have a real place in the life of a person who has been given
salvation. In reality, works or good deeds, prove that salvation has really come to a person. We have
been prepared for the Master's use. That is one of the main reasons why God hasn't transported you
and me to heaven yet. We've still got a job to do for Him, on earth. In a world that is so needy, we
could get overwhelmed by all the good that needs to be done. But we don't have to be overwhelmed.
We just have to make ourselves available and God will show us through His Spirit in us, what he
wants us to do.
Last, your Avocation! Every balanced person needs some talent, skill, pastime or hobby in
which they can invest a lot of their enjoyment, not for profit. What's yours? Even the man who is
highly satisfied with his work needs something more. He at least one avocation.
Avocations are the spontaneous or planned interests, activities, recreations and hobbies that are
mostly play and enjoyment. It is always healthy for SAMs to develop avocations in order to
counteract their usual seriousness, morbidness, and overconcentration on self. Avocations give a
balance to a man’s productive, creative life needs. All work and no play, makes you a dull person.
Avocational interests, hobbies and pastimes bring lightness and joy into a person’s life. They allow
him to channel “passion” into wholesome, healthy areas.
Other leisure-time endeavors are hands-on activities, such as gardening, bowling, woodworking,
coin collecting, book restoring, painting, music, and photography. Do you have a passionate
avocation? It could give your life needed balance.
Love of God, love of neighbor as we love ourselves! Jesus mentions these first three in
Matthew 28:32-40, when he tells the lawyer that the first priority of life is to love the Lord God with
all our heart, soul, mind and strength; and our neighbors, as we love ourselves.
There you see God, Others and Self. When these four areas are content, fulfilled, and satisfied, you
feel vitalized, fully, functionally alive. You feel that you are living a good life. You are content with
your Self, with God, with important Others and with your Work in life. At such times it's unlikely
that you will engage in sexual sinning. Of course you cannot always be vitalized in all of these areas,
and that's the problem for all people. Those four areas are always facing challenges, changes and
choices which destabilize you for shorter or longer periods of time. But if you have learned to work
with your INSIDE and OUTSIDE strategies more functionally, you will less likely resort to sinful,
self-destructive behavior.
“How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And
that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him. 2 Dear
friends, now we are children of God, and what we will be has not yet been made known. But we
know that when he appears, we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is. Everyone who has
this hope in him purifies himself, just as he is pure. (1 John 3)”

Against Porno!

Social & Psychological Effects of Porn 

Research has shown that 40 to 50% of rapists use porn to arouse themselves prior to seeking out a
victim.

Even brief exposure to violent forms of pornography can lead to anti-social attitudes and behavior -
i.e., a more aggressive attitude toward women.

Studies have shown that exposure to porn can lead to increased desensitization to sexual violence
and rape. 
A strong statistical correlation has been found between circulation rates of porn magazines and rape
rates in that area.

Statistics

Pornography is an $8-billion-a-year business.

17.5 million surfers visited porn sites from home computers in Jan. 2000, a 40% increase from 4
months earlier. (Source: US News & World Report, 3/27/2000)

Web surfers spent $970 million accessing porn sites in 1998. (Source: Datamonitor research firm)

Porn accounts for 69% of the $1.4 billion pay-to-view online-content market, compared to video
games (4%) and sports (2%). (Source: US News & World Report, 3/27/2000)

16% of the Internet's porn materials are accessed through America Online - which brings in $7
million per month via porn. (Source: US News & World Report, 3/27/2000)

Cyberporn sales accounted for 8% of last year's $18 billion e-commerce. (Source: Forrester Research
report)

The top internet porn site boasted more unique visitors in Jan. 2000 than ESPN.com, CDNOW, or
barnesandnoble.com. (Source: US News & World Report, 3/27/2000)

In the U.S., nearly 900 theaters show porn films and more than 15,000 adult bookstores and video
stores offer porn material. 

Pornography is material that "is predominantly sexually explicit and intended primarily for the
purpose of sexual arousal." Hard core porn "is sexually explicit in the extreme, and devoid of any
other apparent content or purpose." (Source: Final Report of the Attorney General's Commission on
Pornography, p. 8)

About 70% of porn magazines end up in the hands of minors. (Source: Henry Boatwright, Chairman
of the U.S. Advisory Board for Social Concerns.) 

About 1.2 million children annually are exploited in child pornography and prostitution. (Source:
Women Against Pornography)

Legal Definition of Obscenity

The 1973 case of Miller v. California defined "obscenity"as material that meets all three of the
following conditions:

1. The average person, applying contemporary community standards, would find that the work,
taken as a whole, appeals to the prurient interests.

2. The work depicts or describes, in a patently offensive way, sexual conduct specifically defined by
the applicable state (or federal) law, and
3. The work taken as a whole, lacks serious, artistic, political or scientific value.

"I will set no unclean thing before my eyes." (Psalm 101:3)(Psalm 1:3)

Pornography is Sin!
More serious than other sins?

When we look at porn or form sexual images by memory or imagination during masturbation,
we are basically feeding an immoderate attachment or devotion to the idol of sex. Such attachment
and devotion is greatly reinforced by the pleasurable brain chemicals released during sexual arousal
and orgasm.

Idolatry is sin (Exodus 20:3-5) and it can bring unpleasant consequences, such as demonic
oppression and generational curses. God's primary command to us is that we love him with all our
heart, soul and mind (Matthew 22:36-38). I suggest that it is impossible to love God with all our
heart, soul and mind when we are idolizing sex images in our eyes and thoughts!

Definition of idolatry from Webster’s 9th New Collegiate Dictionary:

• (n) Immoderate attachment or devotion to something

Definitions of idol from Webster’s 9th New Collegiate Dictionary:
• A likeness of something
• A form or appearance; visible but without substance
• An object of extreme devotion
• A representation or symbol of an object of worship
• A false conception; fallacy

Pornography seems more disgusting than other evils. 

1 Corinthians 6:18 "Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth
fornication sinneth against his own body. " 

1 Corinthians 6:18-20 "What? Know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is
in you ...? therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's."

'Just looking'? 

    Some would argue that looking at the naked human body is not evil, because God made it
beautiful, and Adam and Eve were naked in the garden. However, that was before sin entered the
picture.

MATTHEW 6:22 “The lamp of the body is the eye! If therefore your eye is clear, your
whole body will be full of light.”
What we look at does affect us spiritually - and can cause us to sin.
MATTHEW 6:23 “But if your eye is evil, your whole body will be full of darkness. If therefore the
light that is in you is darkness, how great is the darkness!”
David "SAW" the woman naked, before he got ideas to sin with her.

MATTHEW 5:28 "If a man looks on a woman to lust after her, he has committed adultery with her
already in his heart."
Jesus said that if a man "looks at a woman to lust after her, he has committed adultery with her
already in his heart"; etc. The sin takes place even before the action is executed.

Towards those who made porn movies

But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a
millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea. (Matthew
18:6)

Woe unto the world because of offences! for it must needs be that offences come; but woe to that
man by whom the offence cometh! (Matthew 18:7)

And whosoever shall offend one of these little ones that believe in me, it is better for him that a
millstone were hanged about his neck, and he were cast into the sea (Mark 9:42)  

Towards those who watch on porn movies

And if thine eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: it is better for thee to enter into life
with one eye, rather than having two eyes to be cast into hell fire. (Matthew 18:9)

And if thine eye offend thee, pluck it out: it is better for thee to enter into the kingdom of God with
one eye, than having two eyes to be cast into hell fire (Mark 9:47)

Towards those who masturbate with the help of porn movies

Wherefore if thy hand or thy foot offend thee, cut them off, and cast them from thee: it is better for
thee to enter into life halt or maimed, rather than having two hands or two feet to be cast into
everlasting fire. (Matthew 18:8 )

And if thy hand offend thee, cut it off: it is better for thee to enter into life maimed, than having two
hands to go into hell, into the fire that never shall be quenched” (Mark 9:43)  

And….

     The word "pornography" comes from the Greek porneia, porneuo, and porne. Porneia is
translated "fornication" in the King James Version (Mat 5:32; John 8:41; Rom 1:29; 1 Corin
6:9,13,18; Gal 5:19; Rev 19:2; etc.). Porneuo is the verb "to commit fornication," as in 1 Corin 6:18.
Porne is translated "harlot" in Mat 21:31-32; 1 Corin 6:15; and Rev 17:5. 

Ephesians 5:5 "For this ye know, that no whoremonger, nor unclean person, nor covetous man, who
is an idolater, hath any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God."

1 Timothy 1:10 "For whoremongers, for them that defile themselves with mankind, for menstealers,
for liars, for perjured persons, and if there be any other thing that is contrary to sound doctrine"

Hebrews 13:4 "Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and
adulterers God will judge."

Revelation 21:8 "But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and
whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which
burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death."

Revelation 22:15 "For without are dog, and sorcerers, and

whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie."

     Many lustful sins take place in the dark, in secret, but nothing is hid from God:

Hebrews 4:13 "All things are naked and opened to the eyes of Him with whom we have to do." 

Numbers 32:23 "Be sure your sin will find you out."

Being tempted is not sin (even Jesus was tempted) - but giving in to it, or seeking it out, surely is.

Also you can check this helpful sites:

http://newlifehabits.com/
http://newlifehabits.com/2007/08/07/masturbation-addiction-explained/
http://porn-free.org/

If you want to add me on yahoo messenger or just to write me :

no.masturbation@yahoo.com

I will pray for everybody that reads this. Hopefully this has meant something to you, and maybe
even opened your eyes. I love you all. Peace.