Yonas Ambaye

Eng101
Shannon Kelly
5/5/15
CIP 6
Interactions with space as seen as the rec 2
3 strengths

Shows us how our spaces location is important and how it

dictates our activities and how when we use our space, our
space is also using us.
Compares different areas of his space. For example he says the
first level of the gym is interactive and inviting but the second
floor people have headphones in and keep more to themselves.
Compares a student that uses the treadmill to a student that
uses the free weights and switches them. They each have to
adapt to the different environment.
3 weaknesses

The author could have incorporated more areas of the rec into
his genre, like the caf or the pool.
Started off some sentences with so maybe couldve had better
word choice.
Maybe shouldve talked about relationships with people/ meeting
new people at the rec center.

Advertisinal 3
3 strengths

Uses good word choice and stats that helps build an image in
your head and shows the magnitude of the stats.
I like how the author talks about going outdoors and doing the
things she loves but when she adds a # then she is advertising
for that company.
The author talks about how we advertise for companies but we
dont get anything in return.
3 weaknesses

The author needs to bring up the space/ main topic earlier in the
essay

Needs more points/perspectives

I felt like this essay could be more than just about hashtags

Unoriginal original ideas 4

3 strengths
I like how the author talks about how directors and keep the
viewers in suspense and how the viewer always comes back.
Explains the Animes work and how the authors of the anime
create modern worlds for us to read about
Author uses the sources very well

3 weaknesses
Doesnt involve Heilker as much as the author should have
I feel like essay couldve been structured a lot better.
Kind of boring paper, it was hard to read.

Shabbat Sha-what? 1
3 strengths
Intro was really good, told exactly what needed to be told
Explains Heilkers theory in a nice way, saying that genre is a
glass and the individual is like water.
Compares the genre religion as a race

3 weaknesses
Didnt really ask any questions that wouldve made her paper
Couldve used more quotes from different authors, wouldve
added perspective.
Conclusion couldve been better/longer

I ranked these essay from which used Heilker and others in suitable
ways, also the essays that were more fun to read got ranked higher.
Stronger essays

Interesting to read
Involved Heilker/other authors
Weaker essays

Repetitive
Boring reads

Needed more Heilker involved.

Commentary
CIP 6 was one of the most significant to my learning and understanding
of Heilkers work. I would say that this is one of the most useful CIPs
that Ive done due to the fact that Ive gained the most from it. While
working on this CIP we had to read 4 essays, label 3 strengths and 3
weaknesses and we had to put them in order from least great to the
greatest. Reading these essays really helped me understand how the
location of your space affects the genre of your space and the people
that come to your space. What also makes this CIP one of the most
significant is the when we had to label the 3 strengths and 3
weaknesses. This is significant because it showed me what to do and
what not to do which overall helped me improved my genre essay.
Another key detail of why I think this artifact is most significant to me
is because at class the next day when we discussed which essay was
strongest and why it helped me see the strong points in a different
perspective. I knew why I thought it was a good point but having
someone else show me a different reason was really helpful. It was also
helpful when someone else disagreed with you and thought the essay
that you thought was weak was actually good. This disagreement
brought together good ideas for me. I feel like rhetorical strategies

really dont need a part in this artifact because its more of like a list
than an actual structured paper.