Anthony 1

Connor Anthony
Mrs. Weathersbee
AP Lang & Comp
28 May 2015
DBQ Essay Revision Notes
This artifact is a DBQ essay on whether or not social media usage is an acceptable
practice in the real world. Throughout the paper I talk about how using social media is an
acceptable medium to use. For most of the essay I talked mainly about how colleges view the use
of social media. However I should have talked more about how businesses and companies go
through the process of sorting through online accounts. Another way that I could have improved
my essay is by directly comparing the person who doesnt use social media to the ones that does.
If I had a paragraph on just this comparison then it would help the audience see the differences
more clearly. Also I could have included more sources to broaden the range of evidence to
support my opinion. A possible source that I could have used is Source A that talks about how the
well know test preparation company Kaplan released a survey about admissions offices checking
social media. They found how that one in ten admissions counselors in top schools was checking
social media. I could have used this to improve the reliability the audience has for the
information I have chosen. When they see a familiar name in the essays use of evidence they
will be more likely to agree to what is being said.