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Ma Joanna Dinio
Professor Ditch
English 113B
19 February 2015
Happiness Within My Culture
Culture does not only revolve around certain beliefs or customs of a particular group, but
culture is also expressed with individuality. Although some may believe that culture revolves
around a specific group of society, the similarities of culture and ethnicity are very much linked
to one another. However, In my own experience, I am challenged by living with two cultures that
are unrelated with one another; the culture of being in touch with my feminine side and the
culture of being involved with my ethnicity.
From a teenagers perspective, ethnicity doesnt vary cultural beliefs, but selfindividuality does. Individuality starts with environmental influences such as: interactions with
friends and family, interactions with yourself and others, and how you view life as an individual.
In the article, Self-Identity and Culture by Ronald Jackson, Cerise Glenn, and Kesha Morant
Williams, the authors state that Understanding self-identity is important to inter/cultural
communication because as you learn who you are, you learn how to communicate effectively
with others. [117] This quote emphasizes the idea of culture comes from understanding yourself
which increases your capability with others. The article focuses on discovering culture within
yourself and how culture can be influenced by your surroundings, language and behavior.
Coming from a multi-racial family challenged my perspective of cultural values. I felt
like I wasnt accustomed to the specific beliefs my family wanted me to partake in. An example

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of the customs I was expected to follow was to keep my feminine figure for myself and for my
future husband, to not have a boyfriend until I have a career, to always follow my parents orders
no matter how ridiculous they may be, to not move away from my family until I am 25 years old,
and to always put everyone else before me, etc. These customs were tattooed on the back of my
brain and I simply followed them until I moved out and started attending college.
Becoming exposed and involved in a college culture partially defined my self-cultivation
for my newly discovered culture, but taking my own desired path defined my culture as a whole.
I felt happy. I felt happy in a sense where I am care-free of containing any of the rules my family
wanted me to follow. I felt happy because I didnt have anyone bringing me down. My family set
high expectations for me and no matter how hard I tried, I seemed to always fail and that brought
negativity in my life. For example, my aunts would scold me for putting on makeup and when I
dont have makeup, they judge me for not having flawless skin. Being around my family forced
me to perform a certain personal front of a perfect woman figure and these certain
commentaries accumulated throughout the years. Receiving these comments from my family
really affected me emotionally and mentally. I remember making the bathroom as my own
sanctuary, a place where I could drop all my performances when I am outside my own comfort
zone out of my external space of surroundings. I remember crying in my sanctuary because my
mother didnt want me to move out and go on with my college journey because I am just a girl.
My family made me feel like I lack of independence because of my gender. I related to the poem,
Its a Womans World by Eavan Boland, the author states, and what we never will be/ Stargazers,/ fire-eaters,/ Its our alibi. This quotes implies the idea that women will never be
courageous or brave enough to chase after their dreams and that women arent star-gazers

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which meant they can not reach for their dreams, and fire-eaters which meant they can not
overcome any obstacles that may occur when reaching for their dreams and aspirations. The
poem illustrates a sarcastic tone of what the media implies of what women should be.
Unfortunately, in my situation, I was both thorned by the real definition of being a
woman in society with the influence of media and my family. However, not adapting to my
familys cultural beliefs motivated me to follow my own. And following my own beliefs of what
beauty should really be and that is to be happy, I realized that gender is just a social construction
with no real definition. Being beautiful can not be measured in physical ways, but it is measured
within and most of all, being a woman should not have any labels nor definite characteristics for
there is no real definition to it.
My experience reminded me of Alisa Valdez-Rodriguezs story in My Hips, My
Caderas. The article is mainly focused on being accepted in both of her multi-cultural
surroundings. The article describes Valdez-Rodriguezs struggles of fitting in with both of her
opposing cultures. Valdez-Rodriguez says, I am sad. I drive home and examine my hips in the
mirror, hit them for being so imprudent Sometimes i fast for days. Sometimes I make myself
puke up rice and beans. [75] This quote explains how any sorts of particular influence can affect
women in many ways. In this case, like mine, her family affected her ways of thinking of how a
woman should look or be like. Just like Valdez-Rodriguez, I learned to accept my flaws. The
author says, I often say no, because I can Ironically, this makes the feminist in me very
happy. [75] This quote is relevant to my experience because I came in touch with my feminist
side when I decided to follow my own path. I decided to move out and start my own culture, the

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culture to be happy, the culture to not let anything or anyone else define me as a woman. I
excluded all the negativity I was getting and feeling. I surrounded myself with positivity and
people who influenced me to do well.
In the article, Creating Happiness from Within Even When Times Get Tough by Jessica
Ainscough, the author talks about surrounding yourself with positive thoughts and following
what your heart desires is the key to fully discover what the true definition of happiness is.
Ainscough says, I decided then to take matters into my own hands. I refused their offers and
began searching. Ainscough was diagnosed with cancer and until then, she started to realize
she was viewing life in a whole new different way. The quote states that Ainscough didnt follow
anyones orders and making her own decision to look for an alternative treatment felt more
efficient to her which made her happy and made her realize what true happiness means; it comes
from within.
Aside all the dramatic events I had to go through with my family, as of now, they became
more understanding of my own decisions in life when I made it clear to them that I will do
whatever it takes to succeed and that I am happy with myself. I dont need to perform or wear a
persona-mask in front of anyone. I dont need to fall into any category of feminism, culture or
beliefs. I am my own culture, I make my own beliefs and my culture is to be happy.
As I claim my own cultural space, I am now generally happy with myself and the culture
that I decided to partake in. Over the years, I have learned that theres is no real standard meaning
of what it is to be beautiful, whether it is with the influence of media, family or any
surroundings. As Audrey Hepburn, A very influential actress, model and activist once said,

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Happy girls are the prettiest. Therefore I am pretty, I am my own definition of a girl, and I am
happy.

WORK CITED

Jackson, Ronald. Glenn, Cerise. Morant Williams, Kesha. Self-Identity and Culture

Valdez-Rodriguez, Alisa. My Hips, My Caderas MSNs Underwire. April 2000. print.

Ainscough, Jessica. Creating Happiness from Within Even When Times Get Tough. Tiny
Buddha. N.P, 16 Aug. 2011. Web. 18 Feb. 2015.

Boland, Eavan. Its a Womans World. Genius. N.P, Web 18 Feb. 2015.