Peer Review: Reflective Essay draft

Authors name: __Chelsea Brown_________________________

Reviewers name: _Grace Cheviot__________________________
Author: Provide the following information about your essay:
1. Write your thesis statement/main idea below (if it is still a work in progress, say so)

2. Write out one or two questions about your draft you would like your reviewer to
answer.
1. I feel like my draft needs a lot of work, what area needs the most work and why?
2. Is my theme making sense for my portfolio is falling in love with words to
ambiguous?
Reviewer: Read the writers entire draft once. As you reread the draft, respond to the
following:
1. Introductory paragraph(s): Write down the sentence or sentences that contain this
reflection papers main idea (according to you). Does the author focus on an overarching
theme/metaphor/quote
symbol/etc.? Suggest how the thesis statement/main idea could be strengthened, clarified,
or otherwise improved. Does the author state which evidence will be examined in the
rest of the essay? Suggest how the author could improve this part of the essay.
The theme that I am focusing my modules on is falling in love with words. This idea
that revising is all about knowing what you want to say. It is also important to say it
effectively. .Learning how to articulate your voice and theme correctly.
Chelsea focuses on her websites theme and states how she emulates it through her
module assignments.
Her main idea can be strengthen if she gives a specific example of a module assignment
where her theme of falling in love with words was demonstrated. This will prove that
she has created her websites theme as a central focus for her assignments.
She states which evidence she will be examining in the opening paragraph of her
reflection memo. To improve this part of the essay, I suggest having an order of each
assignment she is examining. For example, she can examine each assignment from by
easiest to most difficult in her opinion. Or she could order the detail of her chosen

assignments according to the placement of them in the introduction paragraph. Readers

might get confused when they are reading the paper thinking that they are reading about a
specific assignment when it is really about a completely different one.
3. Supporting paragraphs: Check to make sure the content of the paper supports
the thesis and that additional evidence or content is not needed to support it.
Indicate one paragraph in which the writers evidence is strong, and state the
reasons why you think so. Then find one paragraph that needs more evidence.
Drawing from your own experiences or understanding of the type of assignment
the author is discussing, suggest evidence that might work to better illustrate or
develop the main idea or subclaims.
I believe her second paragraph has her strongest evidence. She states what her theme
is and her reasoning behind it.
I think that she needs more evidence and detail for the fourth paragraph. This is the
paragraph where she adds insight on how Technical Communications has changed her
as a writer.
3. Organization: Number the paragraphs in the authors paper. Then,
use the space below to describe the purpose or main idea of each
paragraph. Check to make sure the paper follows a consistent
organizational pattern and is effectively organized with clear
paragraphs (focused around one sub-claim) and smooth
transitional/topic sentences. When you finish, suggest where the writer
might improve the organization of the paper through the use of
transitional sentences, by focusing on one topic in each paragraph, by
restructuring the order of paragraphs, etc.
She has four total paragraphs:
First Paragraph:
She introduces her paper by stating her experience with working
on the e-portfolio as well as Technical Communications course as a
whole. This paragraph also introduces the modules she has chosen to
examine in the reflection.
Second Paragraph:
In this paragraph she states what her theme is for her website
and essentially each module. She states what falling for words
means and why it is significant to her and her work.
Third Paragraph:
She mentions the Revising Technical Documents module
assignment. She goes into detail on the procedures she had to do in

order to complete and polish the final draft. She gives the specific
example of revising her website and how much work she had to put
into completing it.
Fourth Paragraph:
The final paragraph focuses on her most difficult assignment:
Writing for Employment. She states her weaknesses for this
assignment and the tasks and steps she had to take in order to
complete the assignment.
My biggest suggestion would be to add detail to both the first and
second paragraphs. For the first paragraph, I would be to expand on
this line: Working on this portfolio has been tedious yet rewarding.
The reader would like an example on what was tedious or difficult with
her e-portfolio. Regarding the second paragraph, this is by far her
strongest paragraph of the paper. She should state a comparison of her
earlier work to her later work to not only prove how she used her
theme as a resource/motivator, but also how she has improved as a
whole.
The last suggestion would be to have her elaborate in her final
paragraph. This paragraph is her opportunity to tie in her final
thoughts on what she has learned and how this course/its assignments
has transformed her writing.
4. List the 2 most important things the author should focus on during
revision.
1. She should focus on adding more detail on how her writing has
changed throughout this course. This would be good to add in
either the second or fourth paragraph.
2. She should consider restructuring the order of her paragraphs in
order to add clarity for the readers.

5. Respond to the authors questions in number 2.

1. I think that the most work and revisions for her paper should be
adding detail regarding the descriptions of her experience with
the modules. Give specific examples for each assignment- for
example, what was the easiest/hardest thing(s) about the
assignment, how it changed your writing, what did you learn, etc.

2. I dont think that her theme falling in love with words is

ambiguous. After stating what her theme is, she follows it with
reasoning what it means and how she applies it in her work. I
think that it is a very unique approach for her overall e-portfolios
theme.
Author: When your essay is returned, read the comments by your
peer reviewer and do the following:
1. Compare your description of the thesis statement with your
readers. Consider your readers comments and revise your thesis
statement if necessary.

2. What additional evidence from the research youve read, from your
experiences, from your observations, etc. would strengthen the
support for your thesis?

3. Make a revision plan. List, in order of importance, the 3 most

important things that you need to do as you revise your essay.

Peer Review: Reflective Essay draft

Authors name: ___________Chelsea Brown________________
Reviewers name: ______Elouise Miny_____________________
Author: Provide the following information about your essay:
1. Write your thesis statement/main idea below (if it is still a work in progress, say so)

2. Write out one or two questions about your draft you would like your reviewer to
answer.

Reviewer: Read the writers entire draft once. As you reread the draft, respond to the
following:

1. Introductory paragraph(s): Write down the sentence or sentences that contain this
reflection papers main idea (according to you). Does the author focus on an overarching
theme/metaphor/quote
symbol/etc.? Suggest how the thesis statement/main idea could be strengthened, clarified,
or otherwise improved. Does the author state which evidence will be examined in the
rest of the essay? Suggest how the author could improve this part of the essay.
Her main theme is Falling in love with words. She says that her biggest improvement
within her technical writing and revising was being able to follow all the requirements
and go above and beyond expectations.
Put the theme in the first paragraph. Your idea is not developed strongly so I didnt really
know what you were going to write about. Mentioning the three modules you decided to
focus on is good. What evidence are you going to use?

2. Supporting paragraphs: Check to make sure the content of the paper supports the
thesis and that additional evidence or content is not needed to support it. Indicate one
paragraph in which the writers evidence is strong, and state the reasons why you think
so. Then find one paragraph that needs more evidence. Drawing from your own
experiences or understanding of the type of assignment the author is discussing, suggest
evidence that might work to better illustrate or develop the main idea or subclaims.
First paragraph is strong and mentions the theme. You just need more concrete evidence
from each module to support it and show how you used Falling in love with words to
guide your writing, revising, etc.

3. Organization: Number the paragraphs in the authors paper. Then,

use the space below to describe the purpose or main idea of each
paragraph. Check to make sure the paper follows a consistent
organizational pattern and is effectively organized with clear
paragraphs (focused around one sub-claim) and smooth
transitional/topic sentences. When you finish, suggest where the writer
might improve the organization of the paper through the use of
transitional sentences, by focusing on one topic in each paragraph, by
restructuring the order of paragraphs, etc.
The whole reflection seems to be about revision.

I would suggest making each paragraph about a different module (and

make sure its clear) and how you used the whole writing process and
revision to get to a final product.

4. List the 2 most important things the author should focus on during
revision.
Expanding on our writing process in each module. Tell the reader your
thoughts when you were completing the modules. Lookinging back at
your previous reflection memos should help.

5. Respond to the authors questions in number 2.

Author: When your essay is returned, read the comments by your

peer reviewer and do the following:
1. Compare your description of the thesis statement with your
readers. Consider your readers comments and revise your thesis
statement if necessary.

2. What additional evidence from the research youve read, from your
experiences, from your observations, etc. would strengthen the
support for your thesis?

3. Make a revision plan. List, in order of importance, the 3 most

important things that you need to do as you revise your essay.

Final Reflective Essay

Every act of creation is first an act of destruction. Pablo Picasso
I was placed in this class unaware of the benefits it would bring me. I was under
the impression that it was a writing intensive course needed for my technical and
professional writing minor. This semester has introduced me to the technical writing field
and all of its genres. I took this class to broaden my horizons and gain more skills outside
of my core English classes. I started that this was not an ordinary English class. It was
writing intensive and focused on revision and awareness of the writing process. Every
English class that I have taken while in college has failed to teach me writing
fundamentals. They all focuses on reading the material and comprehending it rather than
being about to revise documents and explained what you learned. This was a new genre
and exploration for me as a writer and as a reader.
The first couple classes Professor Arnold talked about being to make your
document reader centered. I remember thinking what does that mean. What kind of
jargon do technical writers even use? Then it all became clear with our first assignment:
the writing for employment module. This began my a-ha moment as a writer and student

at UNC Charlotte. When Professor Arnold asked us to compile a resume that was
centered to a specific job listing I had no idea what he meant. This put me in a moment of
utter panic. I remember looking at job listings and not knowing what I was qualified for
or what I wanted to do. I looked up the skills I posted on my resume and jobs that looked
for my kind of skills. I remember seeing sales and marketing as a top choice for someone
with my type of resume. Narrowing down these job listings made me realize that during
my whole writing career I had no idea of how to apply my skills to the real world. I was
graduating in December 2015 and I had no idea of what was ahead for me. It was an
amazing yet an awkward a-ha moment. When we submitted the writing for employment
module I remember seeing how many positive comments I had received on my resume
and on my gap analysis paper. It made me feel confident that I could figure out what I
wanted to pursue and how to achieve it.
The most influential moment of this class was the peer revisions. Elouise one of
my classmates really helped me progress and develop as a writer. She truly saved me on a
couple of assignments. She told me what to add and take out to make my portfolio
cohesive and clearly reader centered. Coming into this class peer reviews aggravated me.
I never understood why teachers constantly advocated for them. When I sat down with
Grace and Elouise and we discussed my peer review it became clear. Peer review was a
way to open your mind to different perspectives to obtain a clear result. I chose Pablo
Picassos quotes because it related to transformation. An important part of this class and
peer review is transformation. When a document is drafted in this class it is never perfect.
It is a creation that is supposed to be transformed into something better than it was
before. This relates to the theme of my portfolio. Each module to me showed my

transformation. It was not until the very end of the semester did I really begin to see the
transformation from ruin to creation.
I remember going through the revising for technical documents. I was going
through each individual aspect of my portfolio. I took a lot into consideration. I wanted
to make sure that my website was reader centered and easy to follow yet appealing. I
didnt want my website to be basic and easily misunderstood. Revising my website
revolved around a lot of images and revising content. I wanted to make sure the pages
and subpages were concise and straight to the point. Each subpage is geared towards a
certain part of the module. The revising technical documents module has a page
dedicated to the website revision, the professional document revision and the first and
final draft of the website. I changed the picture from the default to a picture that says,
Revise or else. I focused a lot on layout and images. I ran into a bit of an issue with
how many subpages weebly would let me us. We were only allowed to have 10MB of
document and images within the whole portfolio, which limited me a bit to have the
cohesiveness that I was striving for.
Revising my resume I would say generated several a-ha moments. I got some
feedback from Professor Arnold addressing verbs that were being misleading and
overused. That really motivated me to polish my resume and make it appealing visually
and verbally. While editing my resume I realized how much I have grown within taking
this course. I was paying attention to layout, appeal, verbal and non-verbal
communication. I was proud of myself for realizing what needed to change and having
the courage to really sit down and focus on fixing little things. Sometimes within a
revision I nitpick and try to start all over which usually creates a lot of stress for me as a

writer. This class has taught me the best process you can use to achieve greatness. Writing
is all about the paths and the steps it takes to create a finished product that you can be
proud of.
Looking back on revisions being made of the semester I can say that I am proud
of what I have accomplished as a student and writer. I am proud that I finally know how
to make everything I write reader-centered. It has been an interesting journey taking this
class. It has challenged me and helped me realize that there is no limit on authors
revisions. The road to transformation isnt always clear. At the end of the road there is a
creation that you can feel confident about, that you can consider a masterpiece.