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Madeleine Dalton
Professor Campbell
Human Growth and Development 1100
April 20, 2015
Reality Assignment 3
(Completing a Marriage Contract)
For this assignment, my boyfriend Noah (fictitious name) and I filled out the Marriage
Contract Questionnaire, which is located on page four for reference. To my surprise, we seemed
to have very similar opinions about what we want for our future together. We were in agreement
for fifteen of the eighteen questions asked, and only disagreed about things like; which state
were going to live, how many children we want, and how well discipline them. When it comes
to any relationship, I believe these certain questions must be discussed between significant others
in order to lead a long and healthy marriage.
Overall, my experience with this activity was very positive, and it brought new light to
my own relationship. Although Noah and I have been together for several years, weve never
really discussed these types of questions in a serious setting. Im very happy we did, though,
because I now know that we want the same things for ourselves and each other. I believe that is
key in any serious relationship; obtain similar life goals, and reach them together. Couples should
always be encouraging each other to be their best selves.
Although this experience was positive, it was also very challenging to sit down with my
loved one and talk about such serious topics. There are a few questions that I feel would be very

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controversial in a marriage. Question thirteen, being the most controversial, asks how future
children will be disciplined. Personally, when children are involved, everything gets much more
complicated. I chose this question only because people often come from different backgrounds
and have experienced different parenting styles. For example, I would most definitely be a more
laid back parent and consequences would be minimal, but my boyfriend would probably be very
strict.
Question nine is another very controversial issue thats mainly about money. Finances
and budgeting becomes very complicated when two people are involved. Luckily, my boyfriend
and I are both very similar when it comes to spending and saving, so I dont think there would be
much of a problem. My parents, on the other hand, struggled with this issue before they
divorced. My mom was intent on always spending money, where my dad only focused on saving.
I think its safe to say that their money habits were a big part of the divorce.
I have seen many married couples, mainly my parents and their previous marriages,
struggle with these questions. The biggest struggles I noticed are from questions two, nine, ten,
thirteen, and sixteen. However, I would say sixteen is probably the number one reason why both
of my parents have been divorced three times. I would say every couple has conflict at some
point in time, but learning how to resolve it together takes a lot of work.
The advice I would give to someone entering a marriage would include; be prepared to
make sacrifices, learn to communicate well, dont criticize, make compromises, and always
remember why you love that other person. Lastly, I would suggest cohabitation. Berger defines
this term as being an arrangement in which a couple live together in a committed romantic
relationship, but are not formally married (2014 p. 419). It may be my generation, but I am a
firm believer in cohabitating. My boyfriend and I have lived together for almost four years now,

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and I wouldnt have wanted it any other way. I think its important for couples to make sure
theyre compatible and even willing to make a commitment like living together before thinking
about marriage.
After completing the questionnaire, I have come to appreciate and respect marriage much
more. I take a commitment like marriage very seriously, but I am now more prepared for the
issues that come with it. This experience was very worthwhile because it opened my eyes to all
the things my future husband and I will need to work out together. I realize now that I truly only
want to be married once, so I need to take my time in figuring out what I want in a partner, and
how I want our lives to look.

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Marriage Contract Questionnaire
1. Where will you live?
Preferably in Oregon somewhat close to our families. If we were to live on the
east coast, it would be in NC
2. Where will you work? If one of you is promoted, what circumstance will affect your
decision to take the promotion (e.g., would you be willing to move far away)?
I will be working as a nurse, and he will be working in manual labor. We would
be willing to move for each other if there was a promotion
3. Do you plan on attending church? If so, what religion will you follow?
No, and no religion
4. Do you plan on pursuing more education or vocational training?
More education
5. Who will be responsible for household bills?
We will do them together
6. How will household chores be divided?
Equally
7. What type of transportation will you use?
We will both have cars
8. Do you plan to rent or buy a house?
Rent first, buy later
9. Will finances be combined or kept separate? How will money be managed? What
kind of budget will you keep?
Combined and separate, we will both manage joint accounts together, we will
figure a budget together
10. How will you spend holidays (e.g. Will you split holidays between both sides of the
family)? How much time will you spend with one anothers family?)
We will spend equal time with our families, but probably stay with mine
11. Do you plan on having children? If so, how many? Who will take care of the
children?
Yes, no more than three. We will both alternate shifts
12. Will both parents continue to work after the baby is born? If so, who will take care of
the child while you are at work? If not, who will stay home? How will you account
for the differences in income if one parent stays home?
Yes, we will have alternate work schedules
13. What kind of discipline will you use? Will one parent be more responsible for the
discipline? If so, why?
More authoritative (strict, but consequences not severe). We will share
disciplining responsibilities
14. Where will they go to school? Do you plan on sending your child to college? If so
how will you finance it?
Public school, yes, and we will save money to at least pay for undergraduate
15. How much time will you spend together?
As much time as possible
16. How will you handle marital conflict?
Communication
17. What will you do for leisure time activities?

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Things we enjoy; shooting, hiking, camping, vacations, etc.
18. How much time will be spent with friends and co-workers?
At work and special occasions

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Works Cited
Berger, Kathleen Stassen. Invitation to the Life Span. 2nd Edition. New York: Worth Publishers,
2014. Print.