BlessMeFatherforIHaveSinned

Thechurchbellsrangannouncingthebeginningoftheafternoonmass.FatherJohnhurried
intohissacredrobesbeforehurryingtothemainentranceofthechurch.Insidethebustling
churchgoerswerechattingawayonlytobesilencedbythesweetmelodyoftheorgan.Themass
wasbeginningandsoItoohurriedtomypositionintheconfessionary,takingaseatontheother
sideofit,shroudedbyathickblackscreenthatonlyletthedistressedvoiceofsinnerspass
through.Iheardthereclinitorygodownandthepersonskneeslayingagainstthecushionasthey
wentontheirknees.Iclearedmythroatbeforebracingmyselfforanotherwaveofsins.Lately
thesesinshavebeengettingtome,andi'vebeguntohavethesethoughtswhereIwonderifwhat
i'mforgivingittrulycorrect.No,godistheoneforgiving,thevirginwouldforgiveeveryone,
Imonlythemessengerrelayinggodshelpfulhandtothesesinnersseekingforgiveness.
Avemariapurisima.imumbledthroughthescreenasiblessedthepersonbymakingthe
signofthecrosswithhandgestures.Sinpecadoconcebido.BlessmefatherforIhavesinned!
theymutteredback,afamiliarnostalgictonecomingtomind.Iwaitedforthepersontorecitethe
nextpartoftheusualversewhenconfessingbuttooktheinitiativeastheyhadn'tdoneso.Tell
meson,howlonghasitbeensinceyourlastconfession.Theydidnotspeakforawhileuntil
theyfinallymumbledback.twentyyearsfather.Itoostayedsilent,takinginthesituation
beforeallowinghimtocontinueonwithconfession.Afteralongwhile,theyfinallyseemedtobe
windingdown.Hearingaboutallthesemisdeedhecommittedandabouthispastbeingaruffian,
madehimsoundevenmorefamiliar.Lastlyfather,i..haveonesinleft.Butimafraidgodwont
forgiveme.Godforgivesallwhoseekforgiveness,nowcontinue.Wellyouseefather,my
wife,shemakesmeangryoften.Onenightaftergoingoutdrinking,ireturnedafterdrinkingtoo
muchandlashedoutonher.Shewasinpainandyeticouldn'tstop.Nowshelooksatme
fearfully.Pleasefathertellmegodwillforgivemyact.
Anactofabuse,andtosomeonelikeawoman?Howhorrible,thismanwoulddarehita
woman.Itsasifyouwerehittingthedaughterofthevirginmaryherself.Whyshouldgod
forgivesomeonelikethis.Someonewhohurtsaninnocentcreature,shouldnotbeallowed
forgiveness.

Antoniowalkedintohishomeafteralongdayatthemiddleschooltoseehismothersobbing
inthesala,prayingtothestatueofthevirginmarywhichwasnexttoasmallclipUltimausedto
wearinherashygreyhair.Shewasprayingintently,herknucklesturningwhitebyhowhardshe
hadherhandsintheprayingposition.Iwalkeduptheherslowlyandwrappedmyarmsaround
her.Quepasamama?iaskedherandwaited.YourbrotherEugene.Hehadalready
disappointedmewithnotwaitingtobemarriedbeforehavinghischild.Thechildwasnoteven
baptized,ithadnotevenseenthelightofdayyet.Idontunderstandmama.Yourbrother
Eugenecamehometoyourcunadashomeinafitofrage,influencedbyalcoholandstress.He
attackedherandnowshehaslostthechild.Istoodthereshockedatwhatmybrotherhaddone.

Itwasdisappointing,andifelttearswantingtoweldinmyeyesasiwatchedmymothercry.
ComeAntonio,letusprayforthatpitifulsoulofthechildwhichwasnotbaptized.shesaidas
thekneltmebehindher.Weprayed,weprayedforalongtime,andIcontinuedprayingeven
aftermyfathercamehome.Partiallyprayingforforgivenessuponthatchild,andpartially
prayingthatmybrotherbeforgiven.Howeveriwasunsureofmyself,asinmyheart,iwished
mybrotherwouldbepunished,andhishorribleactswouldbringabadjudgementuponhimby
god.Butwhataboutthevirgin?Wouldshestillforgivehim?Whenwillthedaycomewhengod
willspeaktomeiwonderedasalonetearsneakedoutthecornerofmyeye.Antonio,become
someoneyou'reoldmotherwillbeproudof.SomeonetobringhonortotheLunafamily,as
dishonorisallournamecarriesinthelandoftheliving.

OpeningmyeyesafteralongperiodofconcentrationIcamebacktorealitywhenifinally
recognizedthevoiceontheotherside.Toni?hesaid.Horse?iwhisperedback.Toni!No,
fatherToni.Please,ihavetraveledfrommyhometownfarawaybecauseiwashopingto
receiveforgivenessfromyou.Otherfatherswouldnotforgivemyacts,theywouldbanishme
fromthechurchforcommittingacapitalsinorlabelmeasablacklambamongtheother
christians.IcamebackheretoseekforyouToni,myoldfriend.Pleaselayforgivenessuponme,
ibegofyou.hepleaded.
Didhereallyreturnjusttoseekforgiveness?Heseeksforthelightofgodafterhavingit
dimmedandbecomingintoxicatedbythedevilsmilk.Itiswrongnottoforgivehim.ButIdonot
wanttoforgivehim.
Justthenacoolbreezeblewfromsomewhereinsideandthecurtainoftheconfessionary
pulledtothesideslightlytorevealhorsesface.Hewaskneeledwithhishandsbyhisface,he
seemedtobepraying,hisfaceaskingforforgiveness.AsIlookeddownatmyhandsinoticed
whatseemedtobeadarkbrownandwhitefeatherappearonmychairsarmrest.Iwassurprised
andhelditquietlybetweenmyfingersinfrontofmyeyesbeforeplacingitinmypocketand
leaningclosetotheconfessionaryscreen.Horse,inthenameofthefather,sonandholyghost.
Yoursinswill