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Running head: ADOLESCENT PAPER

Adolescent Paper
Crystal A. McMillon
Wayne State University
SW 3510
November 15, 2013

ADOLESCENT PAPER

Adolescent Paper
Adolescence, the puzzle area of life; the time when almost everything you touch, see, and
experience links your present pubescent self to your future self. According to Psychology Today
adolescence describes the teenage years between 13 and 19 and can be considered
the transitional stage from childhood to adulthood (Sussex Publishers, 2013). There is no time
more important then this time in your life when clay becomes sculpture, when you are molded.
One of the best ways to describe adolescence is important imbalance, everything is, at a
different rate, growing, but growing at the same time. Unlike most of the things happening
before puberty, here you consciously choose to remember events and apply them to the person
you will be for longer than any other person in your life that youve been. You are becoming:
your parents addictions, divorce, heartbreak, high school, physical, mental, and emotional
development, the transition into adulthood catapulted by all of these things; here is when you are
really born.
Throughout high school I wore a strong face, but on the inside I was a bit weaker than
most would have known. I was in a constant state of suffering, it took me a while to get over my
parents divorce, and it haunted me. At home was no escape, I resented my mother, I loved her,
but I resented her for no longer being with my father and moving me away from perfection.
That build up of resentment led me down a pathway of small regrets: I gave my virginity away,
not out of love, but out of anger towards my parents. I skipped school, I fell in with the wrong
crowd simply because I was at an age where everything around me was changing, and I was not
holding the remote.

ADOLESCENT PAPER

The smallest thing can have the biggest impact on a childs life. My childhood consisted
of two very different involvements. Until the age of eight, I was privileged to live with both
parents in a very affluent suburb of Atlanta. I went to predominantly white schools with
unlimited resources and qualified, passionate teachers. I excelled academically even though my
home life was less than ideal. My father was a functional alcoholic and abusive to my mother
and at times my siblings and I too.
Ones environment at home is crucial during the personal development stage. At an early
age I was victimized and pain was inflicted upon me by the negative behaviors of people key to
my development. As a result, my adulthood has been deeply effected by the trauma caused by
the behavior of others. As a child I lived in constant fear of being abused by my father because I
was unaware of what triggered his physical abuse towards my mother. Today in my intimate
relationships that fear is still present. For so long Ive been accustomed to speaking the language
of violence and now that is how I communicate with my partners. It wasnt until recently when
almost losing my relationship of 5 years that I discovered that the physical abuse that I was
inflicting on my partners was directly related to the moments in my adolescent when I witnessed
the physical abuse between my parents. Even my perception on love in my adulthood has been a
constant blur, that fear that I spoke about is the main cause behind the blur. Out of fear, I dont
trust, specifically men, out of this distrust Ive resorted to the experimentation of my sexuality.
There are times when I whole heartedly believe that the continued cycle of abuse that I
witnessed my father inflict upon his partners contributed to the grey areas of my sexuality. My
father had a heavy influence on my adolescence, because like most young girls I was his
daddys little girl, and I admired him. My father was a good man, with bad ways, but for so
long I tried to just imagine him being a good man getting into relationships with bad people. That

ADOLESCENT PAPER

state of denial that I lived in as a child is the main reason that I grew into an adult believing that
abuse in intimate relationships was normal, even if you feared being the victim, or the predator in
the situation.
One theory that explains the connection between my adolescence and my adulthood is the
Banduras Social Learning Theory. According to Bandura (1971), new patterns of behavior can
be acquired through direct experience or by observing the behaviors of others (p. 3). Whether it
is negative or positive we are all products of learned behavior, our adulthood, a constant
reflection of the years we spent as adolescents.
As I stated in my Ethnographic Paper, after my parents divorced, my mother, siblings
and I relocated to Detroit, forcing me into a completely different environment; not only culturally
but also provided a lot less educational resources and feelings of security. My mother struggled
to take care of us on her own and because she was a high school dropout, who later received her
GED, didnt know how to effectively support me academically. She never attended Parent
Teacher Conferences or inquired about school issues or progress. Drugs, poverty, and a hopeless
mentality afflicted my neighborhood. My high school hired uncertified teachers, a high school
social worker but no counselor, and very few college preparatory courses. I wasnt suppose to
graduate from high school but I overcame adversities such as peer pressure, drugs, alcohol, teen
pregnancy and drop outs (McMillon, 2013).
The behavior theory explains how the information you access throughout your life is
processed, retained, and even applied to your adult life. The education that one has access to
growing up does not just come from school, many of us learn from the environments that
surround us. Without the environmental change that I experienced as a growing child I know
that the possibility of me not being serious about receiving a furthered education would be

ADOLESCENT PAPER

strong. Today, I can feel how the struggle of going from educationally privileged to being a part
of the underprivileged in the environment of education has shaped me. When I first moved into
my new environment, I was more of a spectator, than a residence, I made everyone an example
of what I did not want to be or become. Although I overcame my environment, I still
participated in a few of the acts that I am almost ashamed to admit today. Looking back, my
only excuse for participating in those shameful acts were that I was young, growing, and in an
impoverished environment. I have since then used my self-reflection as fuel to motivate me to
never return to my ways as that person using any environment as an excuse for inappropriate
behavior. According to Crain (1985), at the Conventional Morality stage teens believe that
people should live up to the expectations of the family and community and behave in "good"
ways" (p, 118-136).
Id like to believe that diversity is a privilege that a person cannot successfully function
universally without a plethora of life experiences. My life experiences are filled with diversity:
The move from an affluent area to a more impoverished neighborhood, my intimate experiences
with the male and female sex. The different personalities of friends that varied from
neighborhood to neighborhood. The experimentation of drugs, the code switching that I had to
learn. The different languages that I also had to learn to speak with my body to fit in or stand
out.
Adolescence plays a monolithic role in the formation of self. Values, attitudes, and
behaviors are learned and cultivated during the stage of personal development. Throughout my
adolescence I experienced a myriad of changes: physically, mentally, and emotionally. My
upbringing was less than ideal, but it has formed me into the strong, successful, dedicated, and
independent woman that I am today. I would not trade my adolescence for the one I thought I

ADOLESCENT PAPER
was on track for experiencing before my parents divorce, I am grateful for the latter one. At
some point during adulthood we all stop to ask ourselves the questions: How did I get here?
What made today my reality?, and the answer is your adolescence.

ADOLESCENT PAPER

Reference
Bandura, A. (1971). The Social Learning Theory . Retrieved from
http://www.jku.at/org/content/e54521/e54528/e54529/e178059/Bandura_SocialLearning
Theory_ger.pdf

Crain, W (1985). Theories of Development. Prentice-Hall. pp. 118-136.

McMillon, C (2013) Ethnographic Paper. Unpublished manuscript, School of Social Work,


Wayne State University, Detroit, Michigan.

Sussex Publishers, LLC. (2012). All About Adolescence. Retrieved from


http://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/adolescence

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