Self-Regulation Newsletter

Middle childhood

As aforementioned throughout the middle childhood stages; I cannot emphasize

enough the importance of a child feeling like they are loved, loveable and accepted
by those around them. As parents of children this age one may often ask
themselves; what happened to the child that did not want to ever leave my side;
now it seems that they cant get away quick enough? Berk; (2013) suggests that
children ages 7-11 years old often use internal strategies for engaging in emotional
self-regulation, and can easily shift adaptively between problem centered and
emotion centered coping (p.419). This is to express that this is typical behavior if a
child may appear to be a little more distant. There could however be times when
this could become disturbing for the parents, if they are concerned about child
depression, excessive self-seclusion or fears of the child becoming suicidal. As also
aforementioned; a child in this area of life may begin to keep themselves selfconfided, and choose not to express their feelings or ideas as they are still trying to
find who they are and what their interests are.
As with any aspect of individuals, children have their own temperament and ways
of expressing themselves. As parents, teachers or caregivers we can only encourage
good communication skills in both expressive and receptive language areas. This
open communication system will perhaps allow both the child and the adult to
openly discuss with one another the situation at hand.
Self-regulation refers to several complicated processes that allow children to
appropriately respond to their environment (Bronson 2000). Some tips to
encourage good emotional self-regulations would be things such as appropriately
addressing the childs ideas of what has them concerned. Listen attentively and
make sure that when the child is speaking to you that you have good eye contact
with them. This is showing the child that we are also internalizing the ideas that
they are suggesting during your conversation. As adults we can model and teach
the child through our own actions or reactions to situations. Vygotsky, (1934-1986)
described internalization as a process in which children progress from co-regulating
behavior with an adult to doing so independently. Thus, to develop self-regulation
skills, children need many opportunities to experience and practice with adults and
capable peers.
When we can encourage or teach a child to use acceptable self-regulations skills
and being part of a group of peers that they are involved with, it is evident that he
or she can also have more empathy or sympathy as well as respect for the
wellbeing of others. Although children in middle childhood years become more

social and active in peers groups or friendships; it is important for teachers and
parents to be observant of what groups and peers the child is adapting to. In my
classrooms and areas of work; I encourage the children to use their voice, this
allows for me to hear what is going on in the classroom and to be aware if there are
every any problems arising among the children. It also helps that child to focus on
how to regulate themselves in group settings. If for example there are two students
that are disagreeing with one another and I hear the discussion getting heated; I
can proceed to intervene with questions such as why they are disagreeing,
suggestions as to both sides of the situation and possible solutions to resolve
conflict. This would indeed show the children that I am being empathetic to their
ideas or feelings as well as teaching them how to resolve the disagreement with
some sort of compromise. This would also allow for the children to realize that there
can be different opinions and not in all cases is someone else right or wrong.

If there are ever times that I have encountered child in middle childhood stages
that are dealing with self-regulation issues, I first and foremost quietly remove the
child from the situation that has them acting out so that we can discuss why they
are behaving the way that they are privately. This allows for the child to have time
to think about the situation and how it could have been handled differently. I
encourage the child to talk to me freely; yet appropriately although I know that they
are upset, and I can then possibly offer suggestions to correct the behavior that is
undesired without making the child feel further singled out in the group. If there are
excessive behaviors that I cannot accept in the classroom, I would then need to
contact the childs parents with information in ways that we could possibly promote
better behaviors together or find assistance for the child that could benefit the
aggressive or inappropriate actions that they chose to take. I would first and
foremost allow the child a chance to correct themselves before going any further.
Impulsivity is often many times to blame for our youth making inappropriate
choices when dealing with their emotions or how to handle someone elses.
Although we as adults cannot change the way another person thinks or feels about

something (especially an adolescent) we can offer suggestions on to better handle

the situation with showing the child that their opinions matter and that by
expressing them in a more positive fashion would or should result in a more positive
response from others. I will then assist the youth in trying to meet the goals that
they need to reach to achieve the better outcomes they desire so that they are not
so easily upset or frustrated. Again at this stage and in many prior areas of
aggressive behavior impulsive actions can or will cause for impulsive reactions from
others.

A concluding paragraph that outlines why good emotional self-regulation

is vital for empathy to results in sympathy and prosocial behavior.
Good emotional self-regulation is a vital part of preparing our youth to be
empathetic and sympathetic to others. If our youth struggles with self-regulation
abilities and the capacity to care for others feelings or the outcomes of any
situation; this could indeed lead to situations of the child being self-secluded, antisocial and self- constricted from others. This could intern also lead to the child
becoming an individual with low self-esteem and issues with feeling insecure about
themselves. In my opinion we all go through stages of questioning ourselves, our
worth or values in life to others. This is all part of growing and learning who we are
to become in the future. As stated earlier with positive influences and positive
insights for our youth as we help lead them into their future, we may often reflect
on what it was like to be in our middle childhood and adolescent stages of life and
encourage better or appropriate emotional support for the child or children that we
are working with to encourage less stress, hard feelings or confusion for them.
When dealing with children of any age; it is imperative that we have the resources
and knowledge to help them adjust to their new developments and goals as they
are changing with these skills and becoming the person that according to some
theorists were intended to be.
In closing there is a lot to be said for Banduras Social learning theory focusing
on children's ability to learn through observation as well as through the rewards and
punishments they experience (Bandura, 1977, 1997). Support for the development
of self-regulated thinking and problem solving can be provided by suggesting useful
strategies and by making children aware of strategies they are already using
(Brown & Campione 1981). If we are to keep our children on a path to a successful
future, we must pave it with good intentions and ample knowledge for them to
succeed. This is why as a teacher, a parent and a caring and compassionate
person; I strive to wake up every day to clear and pave the path to future
generations that are sharing this world and environment with my most precious
possessions my own children!