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Samantha Olson
John Kubler
English 115
9 December 2014
Sexuality in Todays Society: Good or Bad?
In todays society, if a woman wants to get attention or be noticed how would she make
herself up or behave? If a man were to cry or get emotional in a public setting, how would he be
viewed? If a woman and a man both had sexual relations with ten partners each, how would they
be judged differently? Although these questions are rhetorical, their possible answers give insight
to how we judge the roles of males and females in todays society. From the moment we are able
to comprehend our environment, we are influenced by the media to view men and women
differently. We grow up with an unrealistic image of the interactions and interpretations that take
place between both genders. We are taught that men cant be seen as weak or emotional. Women
are seen as care takers and are looked down upon if they have relationships with too many men.
Men are supposed to be dominant and strong. Women are supposed to fit into miniscule clothing
and have the perfect hair. The way that men and women promote or express themselves sexually
has become quite a hot topic in the most recent years. More and more celebrities, women in
particular, are using it as a source of power. For example, Nicki Minaj and Miley Cyrus, who both
present themselves as sexual objects during their questionable, live performances. Both artists
wear minimal clothing and dance around the stage provocatively. Some see their performances as
risky or even grotesque, while others think that they are using their sexuality as a way of being in
control. However in her paper titled Beyond Empowerment? Sexuality in a Sexist World,
Nicola Gavey stresses that feeling empowered is not necessarily the same as being empowered
(Gavey 2). Society is a collection of stereotypes that have a huge impact on the people living in

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our fast paced world today. Although sexuality to an extent can be used as a form of
empowerment, I believe that hyper sexualized society is heading in a more negative direction
considering the influence it has on individuality, development, modern romance and relationships,
power dynamics within those relationships and especially the entertainment industry.
When a child is first being raised, they are discovering who they are and what they want to
be. They have their own innocent ideas and theories of how the world is supposed to work before
they are introduced to the influences of society and the media. As we can see in her book
Persepolis, Marjane Satrapi is raised in Iran through the culture of her country, but changes as she
moves away to live by herself in Austria, where she is influenced by the more free environment
and her peers. She begins to experiment with drugs and partying with her new friends and is
exposed to things she had never been around before. For example, the parties back in Iran
involved dancing and games while in Austria everyone was smoking, making out, or having sex.
Marji was extremely surprised when one night at her friend Julies she really understood the
meaning of The Sexual Revolution when she witnessed her friend, Julie, and the man she had
slept with half naked and completely out in the open (Satrapi 188). She was always so
conservative; it was strange to see such a thing.
Marji also begins to look for love and wonder if she is desirable enough to find it. With her
first real love, Enrique, Marji felt ready to sleep with him. In the morning when it was obvious that
nothing had happened she blamed herself thinking Its my fault! Im so unbelievably ugly. Im
sure thats why he didnt want me (Satrapi 213). The fact that she felt like her appearance was the
problem shows how society has affected the way that young women feel about themselves. It puts
pressure on girls to be this perfect model that no one really is and causes them to stress about the
way everyone else views them. She also went against her original morals to wait until marriage to
have sexual relations because this night was different. [She] felt ready to lose [her] innocence

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with Enrique (Satrapi 212). Marji didnt want to be a timid virgin any longer (Satrapi 212). As
soon as she felt slightly unwanted, she began to doubt herself and think that everything was wrong
with her. Women shouldnt need a mans love to know that they are desirable. With the impact of
the media, young girls think that they need to grow up and be this perfect woman with no flaws to
impress a man. All that does is make these girls self conscious and paranoid about fitting in which
can lead to serious problems like eating disorders, or even suicide. For example, my best friend
that I have known since birth was pressured so much by her environment that she tried to commit
suicide. She was gaining some weight due to medications she had to take for her depression, and
was always comparing herself to her peers and the images promoted by the media. She was being
bullied over the internet and criticized because she wasnt considered skinny and she had had
enough. After attempting to end her torture for good then getting healthy again, she opened up to
me about it. I realized that society puts so much pressure on us to be perfect on the outside that we
stop accepting ourselves for who we are on the inside. I am glad to know that my best friend now
has a better sight of who she is and wants to be, and is satisfied with herself even though todays
society does make it challenging.
When it comes to modern romance and relationships, todays views on sexuality has an
enormous impact. A lot of people these days believe that relationships need to have a physical
aspect to survive. Many girls think that in order to keep a guy in their life they need to be
physically intimate. What happened to the vision of a couple decades ago when love was staying
loyal and just doing little things to prove the affection for each other? These days it feels like
physical intimacy within relationships is pressured and expected really early. Sometimes it is even
pressured without a relationship even existing.
Sexuality has a negative influence on modern couples. For example, in Crazy, Stupid, Love
Jacob literally hits on loads of women in a bar and ends up taking them home for one night stands.

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And Emily had an affair with one of her coworkers because her husband Cal and she werent
connecting on a physical level anymore and they lost sight of the reasons they fell in love in the
first place and who they used to be. When Hannah ended up going home with Jacob, they never
actually slept together, even though that was the initial purpose. She was frustrated by her lawyer
ex boyfriend and wanted to feel a little more in control so she marched into the bar and kissed
Jacob, but when she got to his place got nervous and started asking questions which made Jacob
less dominant than his usual womanizer self. I think that this specific scene showed that true love
results from communication, laughter, caring, and trust, not from sexuality. Hannah was able to
get feelings and emotions out of Jacob that he hadnt shown before. She brought out a different,
better side of him. True love can be considered as bringing out the best in each other. When I
interviewed numerous couples for our ethnography report, I found that most couples described
true love as communicating, making sacrifices, caring, and laughing. None of them said that
sexuality had any effect on the love that they had for each other in their relationships.
Gender equality for women has been greatly emphasized in the last few decades resulting
in many role models and celebrities expressing their interpretations of empowerment. In earlier
generations, men were viewed as the dominant figure in society overall, but as time has passed,
women have proven themselves to be equal to, or more, powerful than men. Generalizations about
intelligence, physical ability, occupational positions, and womens brains [were] being used to
avoid the whole subject of discrimination, however, in todays modern atmosphere women have
much more recognition as power figures as well (Barnett/Rivers 71). Although there are still
people in the world today that criticize women, most believe that putting people into cookiecutter stereotypes is unscientific and unsophisticated, no matter who is doing it (Barnett/Rivers
73). In present society, on the contrary, sexuality is a huge factor in the way that women try to
attain power. Jessica Simpson, Christina Aguilera, Miley Cyrus, and Nicki Minaj, for example, all

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use their sexuality to try and prove that they are being free and in control of themselves and their
bodies. For example, in her music video for These Boots Were Made for Walking, Jessica
Simpson teases the men in the bar with her little outfit and flirtatious moves, but when one of them
touches her, she punches him in the face causing an all inclusive fight between the men.
Gender equality also ties into the power dynamics in male and female gender relationships.
In the present day, as opposed to a few decades ago, dominance in relationships tends to vary
more. Women are having just as much, if not more, say in what goes on in the partnership. In fact,
in my ethnography research I found that out from the couples I interviewed, about sixty five
percent were female dominant. However, in seventy five percent of the couples, the male made the
first move to initiate the official relationship. I feel that with the current society, dominance
depends on the personalities and behaviors of the partners in the relationship rather than gender.
Overall, I believe that our hyper sexualized society today affects us negatively in the ways
it has impacted modern individuality, development, and romance. Yes, some women may interpret
sexuality as empowerment, but I dont think that women should have to look or dress a certain
way to be proud of themselves or considered dominant. You can still be confident and powerful
while wearing jeans and a t-shirt. Women, or all people for that matter, should be who they truly
are without worrying about what society and media makes them out to be.

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Works Cited
Gavey, Nicola. "Beyond "Empowerment"? Sexuality in a Sexist World." Sex Roles (2012): 71824. Web.
Satrapi, Marjane. Persepolis. New York, NY: Pantheon, 2003. Print.
Crazy, Stupid, Love. Dir. John Requa and Glenn Ficarra. Screenplay by Dan Fogelman. Perf.
Emma Stone, Ryan Gosling, Steve Carell, Julianne Moore. Warner Bros., 2011. DVD.
Barnett, Rosalind, and Caryl Rivers. "Biology, Destiny, and Bad Science." (n.d.): n. pag. Web.