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SamMiller
Ms.Miller
APLanguageBootcampAssignment#3
27May2014
WhyIWrite
Ihavenever,untilrecently,hadadesiretowrite.Ofcourse,Ienjoyreading,and
aminfactavoraciousreader,butIcouldnotseemyselfwritingbooks.Me,anauthor?Onlyif
anaudienceexistedthatfedexclusivelyonunendingnonfictionsonvideogames.OrsoI
thought.Thisbrieftangentconvenientlyleadsbacktomyfirstsentence:Ihadnever,until
recentlyhadthedesiretowrite.PerhapsIhadforacademicreasons,perhapsIhadscribbled
afewwhimsicalpoems(badones)downforpurepleasure.Butmymostrecent,and
strongest,motivationislikeOrwells:Ihavesomedemonsinside.AndIseethemaroundand
whenIdo,Isuddenlyknow,thethoughtsimplypopsintomyhead:Icouldwriteaboutthat.
Myearliestexperienceswritingwereacademicrelated.Numerous,boring
essayscenteredaroundavaguetopicthathadtobewrittenpreciselyacertainwayflooded
myEnglishteachersgradingboxesthroughoutmyeducation.Itwasratherlimiting,tobe
confinedtoeitheraresponsetoliteratureorpersuasiveessay,describingorarguingfor
thingsIdidnotcarefor.The
essayswereverycutanddriedandpredictable,duetomybeingunenthusiastic.Igotthe
occasionalthrillfromusinglarger,morecomplicatedwordsinwhatwastomeinteresting
ways.But,asidefromthemotivationforbettergrades,Ididnothavemuchreasontowrite.If
youhadshownmetheselinesafewyearsbackfromImagineDragonssongDemons:
Dontgettooclose,
Miller2
Itsdarkinside.
Itswheremydemonshide,
Itswheremydemonshide.
Iwouldhavesimplyreadthemover,confusedastowhyyouhadshownmethem,and
perhapslaughedimmaturelyandjustshruggeditoff.Iwas,andstillam,aweebitlazy.IfI
wastopenanovel,itwouldbeshort,andasmeaningfulandthoughtprovokingasIcould
makeit.Or,morelikely,itwouldturnoutbraindead,ortotheeffectofsomeotheradjective
withasimilarconnotation.Butwhatcouldinfluencemetowrite?
1.AcademicsMygrades,myattitudeconcerningschool,andmyprogressthroughschool
willbeamajorfactorindetermininghowIact,whatIbecomeandwhoIassociatewith.Essay
writingisavitalskillincollege,orsoIamtold.Highschoolispreparationforthis,asitisfor
variouspursuitsinlife.
2.InternalConflictPerhapsthemosteffectiveimpetus,formeatleast,isthewantto
expressinternalthought,feelings,moodsanddesires.Things,eventsandsituationsthatyou
simplycannotorwillnotthinkofasolutiontomaybewrittendownforoutsideassistance,or
forponderingandreflection.Ithelpstopinpointwhatexactlyyouarefocusedon,what
occupies
yourmindatagivenmoment.Hell,itsthepreliminarystepinpsychologicaltreatment,without
havingtopayforaprofessional!
Miller3
3.PleasureWhenbored,thehumanmindwanders,searchingforwaystooccupyitself
longenoughtoignorethevitallyimportantlessonbeingtaughtinthemeantime.Youmay
catchyourselfscribblingdown,inslow,thoughtfulmotionsimprovisedlyricsorlines,or
doodlingillustrationsofwhatevershortstorymaybebuildinginyourhead.
Mostrecently,Ihavebeenaffectedmoststronglybythesecondreasonlistedabove.
My...demonsofasort,myInternalConflicts,havesofarbeenexpressedinpartbyfour
monologuesIhavewritten.Theyatleastpartiallyencompassmyworries,andhaverelieved
meimmensely(andtemporarily)upontheircompletion.IntermsofAcademics,mywritinghas
beenslowlyimproving,ashavemyvocabularyandsenseofsituationwhilewriting.Interms
ofPleasure,IhaverecentlydiscoveredaseriesofpoemsandashortstorythatIwroteduring
abriefoutpouringofideasayearorsoago.Theshortstorytellsofaparallelworldinwhich
caninesarethemoreadvancedspecies,andhumansarethepets.Thepoemsare
warthemed,andthefirstistitledThereAreNoAtheistsinFoxholes,reflectingmyinterestin
thetwoWorldWars.Themainideaofsaidpoemisbasedintheselines:
Aprayerinafoxhole
Isnothingtoscoffabout.
Itisfilledtothebrim,
Andindeedspillingover,
Withamanshopesanddreams.
Whathewisheshehaddone,
Miller4
Whathewisheshecoulddo,
Whathedesireshisfatetobe.
Ofcourse,Ihavenotexperiencedwar,Ihaveneverresidedinatrench,anditismy
stronghopethatIneverhaveto.Butwhileonthissubject:WarWriters!TimOBrien,for
example,writestoconveytheemotions,experiences,andharshdifficultiesheexperiencedin
theVietnamWar(inTheThingsTheyCarried).Hehas,forlackofabettertermthatcomesto
mind,alotofdemonsinside,whichconformstopointtwoonmylistofreasonstowrite
(InternalConflict).
Overall,Ibelievethatitisdifficultforsomeonetosimplywrite.Whatisneededisa
motivation,asitisneededwithamultitudeofotheractions.Theimpetusmaytaketheformof
ajob(i.e.theneedtomakealiving),anemotionaldrive,arewarduponcompletion,or
perhapsajustasuddenbrainwaveofinspiration.Themotivationwilldefinethework,asitdid
withOrwellswritingcoincidingwiththetumultuoustimeshelivedthrough.Hewasinthe
trenches,hesufferedfromillnessesthroughoutmuchofhisadultlife,andhesawthehorrors
ofthewarand
oftotalitariandictatorsfirsthand.IhopethatImayneverhaveasmuchtowriteaboutashe
did,foralthoughitwouldpointtoaninterestingandeventfullife,itwouldsurelybea
doubleedgedblade.Butfornow,Iliveinmoretranquiltimes,inasafeplace,floodedwith
uselessadvertisementsandsensationalisticnews.Iwillwritemoreabouttheindividuals
problems,withmoreselfcenteredmotives,oratleastthatseemsmorelikely.Perhapsmy
writingwillevolvewiththetimes,asotherswritingshaveinmillenniapast.