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VanessaRuiz
ProfessorDitch
English113A
28September2014
Parentscontrolovergender
Everyoneslifehasbeenaffectedbygenderatapoint.Genderisoftenmisunderstood
andgetscomparedtosex.Butmanypeoplemayarguethatgenderandsexarecompletely
different.Genderishowweexpressourselvesorourperformanceandsexisbiological.In
JudithLorbersarticle,NighttoHisDay:TheSocialConstructionofGenderandinClaire
RenzettiandDanielCurransarticleFromWomen,Men,andSocietyTheauthorsdiscussthat
parentspropeltheirchildrentofollowthegenderrolesthatsocietyhasconstructed.
InJudithLorbersarticle,NighttoHisDay:TheSocialConstructionofGenderShe
explainsthatchildrenareplacedinasexcategorybytheirlooksoftheirgenitaliabutgenderis
givenbysociety.Thegenderprocessstartswhentheparentsnameanddresstheinfant.The
childisbornasafemaleormalefortheirsexbutisgivenfeminineormasculineasagender.
Societyhasassembledgenderrolesthatweshouldfollow.Tobeanorminthecommunity,
malesshouldactmasculineandfemalesshouldactfeminine.Ifsomeonehappensto
reconstructtheroles,theywouldbecomearefugeeinsociety.Forexample,Ifaboyactsmore
femininethanmasculine,hewouldbeindangerofbeingdefinedasahomosexualorbelessof
aman.Parentspursuetheirchildrentoactacertaingendertofitinthecommunity.
InClaireRenzettiandDanielCurransarticleFromWomen,Men,andSocietyclaims
thatparentshavecontrolovertheirchildsgender.Shesupportsherargumentbydiscussing
thatparentsuseclothingtoshowthedifferencebetweenmaleandfemale.Themotherdresses
herdaughterwithadressandabowinherhairwhileshedresseshersoninjeans,ateeshirt

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andabaseballhat.Someparentshavecontrolofthechildsattireformanyyearsandsome
parentskeepthatcontroltillthechildleavesthehousehold.Theadolescentsareforcedtodress
thewaytheirparentswantandnotthewaytheywouldliketoexpressthemselves.Sometimes
thechilddoesn'tseeanythingwrongwiththegendertheyareraisedwithbutsomefeel
misplacedinthegendertheyweregiven.
Genderconstructionstartssincetheverybeginning.Whenthewomenfindsoutthat
shespregnant.Thefirstthingeveryonewantstoknowiswhatsexitis.Oncetheparentsknow
thesexofthebaby,theyhavealltheseideashowtheywanttoraiseitaccordingtothesex.The
ideasfortheboybabywouldhavethecolorblue,toytrucks,sportsandmainlytoughnessbutfor
thegirlbabytheideaswouldhavepink,glitter,dressesanddolls.Alloftheseideasareassigned
tothebabyevenbeforeitsborn.Oncethebabyisborn,theparentstakeactiontoshowthe
babythebothgenders.Alltheparentswouldwanttheirchildtobeacisgender,whichmeans
thattheirsexmatchestheirgender.Thisiswherealltheteachingandguidancecomesin.The
motherstakethejobofteachingtheirdaughterhowtoactlikeawomanandthefatherteaches
thesonhowtoactlikeaman.Thechildlearnsthegenderrolesfromtheirparents.Everyone
canseethemdifferently,italldependsonwhotheylearnedthemfrom.
Oneoftheprocessofassigningagendertothebabyisthetoystheyplaywith.
Thetoystakeahugeroleinthechildrenschildhood.Theboysgrowupplayingwithtrucks,video
gamesandsportswhilethegirlsgrowupplayingwithdolls,princessesandplastickitchen.
Parentsalwaysremindtheirsonthatdollsareonlyforthegirlsandtellthegirlsthatplayingcars
areonlyfortheboys.Theboysalsoplaywithdollsbuttheyarecalledactionfigures.Bothgirls
andboyscanplaysportsbutthemalesaremoreencouragedtodoso.Anotherprocessof
assigningachilditsgenderisitsclothesandhairstyles.Agirlismoreencouragedtoweara
dressandaskirt.Itssociallyacceptablethatagirlwearjeansorpantsbuttheyareseenmore

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oftomboy.Haircutsaresimilarwiththeclothing,Insocietygirlsshouldhavelonghair.Whena
girlcutsherhairshorterthanhershoulders,shewouldbejudgedandpeoplewouldassume
thatsshesahomosexual.
Parentscanhavecompletecontrolovertheirchildrenbutmyparentsallowedmeto
expressmyselfinanyway.Growingupilookeduptomybrotherandsisteralot.Ialways
wantedtodressandactlikethem.Myparentsdidntseeanythingwrongwiththat,infactmy
parentsshoppedmatchingoutfitforallthreeofus.Ihaddresses,tanktopstomatchwithmy
sisterbutialsohadMatchingshirtsandshoeswithmybrother.Stilltothisage,myparentsdont
sayanythingaboutthewayidress.Wheniwasin6thgrade,mybrotherstartedtoskateboard,i
foundthesportamazingsoialsoaskedmyparentsforaskateboard.Iwasexpectingforthem
tosaynobuttheyboughtoneforme.Iwouldskatetoschoolwithmybrotherandhisfriends.All
myfriendswouldtellmethatskatingwasforboysbutididntlistentothembecauseskatingwas
apassionformeandiwasntgoingtoletitgobecauseitwasamasculinesport.
Inallmychildhoodyears,ihadmyhairreallyshort,uptomyears.EveryTimeiwentto
visitmygrandmotheratthedoctor,theolderladieswouldaskmymomifiwasaboyorgirl,i
was7yearsold.Allthetimetheywouldaskmymomiwouldfeelinsecure,ilovedhowihadmy
hairbutithurtmewhenpeoplewouldaskme.Iletsocietyhurtmebymyappearance,itgottoa
pointwhereicouldnothandleanotherladyaskingme,ibeggedmymomtoallowmetopierce
myearsagainsoicouldhavetwopiercingoneachears.Whenigotmyearspiercedforthe
secondtime,lesspeopleaskedme.
Duringhighschool,irancrosscountryandtrackwithmybrotherandsister.My
parentssupportedusandencouragedallofustorunandnotjustmybrother.Mymotherand
fatherwereproudthatalloftheirthreechildrenweredoingasport.Asachild,myparents
alwaystoldmethatiwouldbegoingtoauniversityandnotjustbeahousewifehowsocietysee

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womenas.Injunioryear,ihadtostartlookingintocareersforuniversity,ijoinedaafterschool
classaboutengineering.Irememberthateveryonewouldtellmethattheclasswasfullofonly
boysbutmysisterandIstilljoined.Theclassstartedwith5girlsthenitdroppedtoonly3girls.
Onedayinclass,thisboysaidoutloudthatgirlsshouldntbestudyingengineeringbecause
boyscandoitbetter.Myteacherwhowasamale,gotfrustratedwithhimandexplainedhowin
theengineeringcompanyheworks,theheadengineerhappenstobeafemale.Afterthat
stitution,heneversaidanythingaboutfemalesintheengineeringfield.Ichoosemechanical
engineeringasmymajor.Myparentsfullysupportmeonmymajor,myfathershowsmehowto
useallthetoolsthatiwouldbeusinginmyfutureclasses.Myfatherhasalwaysshowedmethat
awomencandothejobsthatamendo.Heexplainstomethatinthefuture,manycompanies
wouldhiremeforskillsandnotbecauseimafemaleormale.Bothmyparentsnevertook
controlofmygenderbutimoneofthefewluckyones.
Societyhasconstructedgenderroleswhichleadtoparentscontrollingtheirchild's
gender.Notallowingthechildrentoexpressthemselvesthewaytheywouldlike.Societyalso
leadtheconfusionwiththewordgender.Manypeopleseesexandgenderthesamebutreality
sexisbiologicalandgenderisthewayweperformorexpressourselves.Gendercanbe
masculineandfeminineandsexismaleandfemale.Societyhasconstructedrolesthatmales
shouldactmasculineandfemalesshouldactfeminine.JudithLorbersarticle,NighttoHis
Day:TheSocialConstructionofGenderandinClaireRenzettiandDanielCurransarticle
FromWomen,Men,andSocietydoanexcellentwaydemonstratinghowparentscontrolof
gender.