DialogueExcerptfromSomethingsareMeanttobeForever,bySamvedaRuk

Howaboutifyoufindanotherparentlessfifteenyearoldsinglehandedlyprovidingher
twelveyearoldsisterwithadecenteducationandhomecontinuouslyfortwoyears,andthen
wellhavethisargument.Ohyeah,waitIforgot,ourparentsdeathsweretheonlyonesofthis
decade,Merinncounterswithbittersarcasm.WowMerinn,nolecturethistime?Nicejobgoing
forthepitytechnique,andmockingmylanguage.Mustbeadesperatelastresort.ButIm
desperatetoendthisargumentaswell.Desperatetowinit.
Imsickoftakinginsultswithoutfightingback.Maybetheymighttakeitthewrong
way,butImwillingtosuffertheaftermathifitmeansnothavingtotriplethinkbeforeevery
decision.Imtiredofyoualwaysdoubtingmydecisions,justbecausewecantaffordaRedo.
Constantlyhavingtothinkofthefutureinsteadofenjoyingthepresentismentallyexhausting.I
grabmywatercolors,asheetof10by13paper,andmystainedclipboard.Mostofthehazelnut
brownisbeneathalayeroftranslucentwatercolorfromthepaintsdrippingoffthepaper,andthe
fuzzybitsareworndowntosmoothness.Icantstandsettingboundariesforlife.
Youwonthaveanyboundariestosetwhenyouredead.Merinnsimplacableeyes
changecolorsasthelightexposestheolivegreensanddullyellowsconcentratednearthepupil,
thefoggygrayundertoningthemajorityoftheeye,andamutedcyanbluestreakingthroughand
rimmingthemesmerizingreflections.Itsalmostasifalmostifthesphereswerefaceted,like
glitteringdiamondshardenedwiththecrushingpressureofalwaysbeingaprovider.Deathis
howwedealwithpeoplewhocausetrouble,andbreaktherules.Everyonemakesmistakes
Safire,butwetrytoavoidthemandfixthemwithRedos.Redosexisttopreventcrime,andto
keepthingsrunningsmoothly,MerinnrealizinghowanythinghavingtodowithRedosdoesnt
applytouscontinues,Iknowwecantaffordoneyet,butitsfirstonmylist.Iunderstandits
hardforyoutocopewiththestrugglesthatcomewithnothavingasafetynet,butifyougiveme
moretimeandifyoutrynottogolookingfortrouble,thedaywewonthavetooverthinkour
choiceswillarrivesoon.Iknowitseemsunfairnow,butlifeisunfair.Getusedtoit.Merinn
wassofocusedonherspeech,shedidntnoticethatIhadgatheredallmytravelpainting
suppliesandthrewonmyarmygreenjacketthatsfrayingatthesleeves,mostlyfromtuggingat
theloosestrings.
Yeah,Iknowlifesunfair,sothatswhyIpointitout,Isay,lacingupmyboots,dark
astheespressomyfatherusedtodrink.Theseamsdontpullaparttreadingthroughpackeddirt,
andthesoleprotectsagainstthediscomfortofsteppingonsoiltheforcesofnaturehavent
thoroughlydecayed.ButIstillthinkcontainingmythoughtsandfeelingsisabadidea.SoIm
gonnaletthembefree.MyproclamationjerksMerinnbacktothepresent,andshefinally
absorbsmysuddenchangeofattire.
Whereareyougoing?Merinnasks,abandoningherspeech.Then,registeringwhatI
justsaid,replacesherpreviousquestionwith,Wait,what?.

IdecidetoclarifywhatMerinnismostconcernedabout,Withmyart,Imean.IfIcant
directlytellpeoplewhatIthink,thenIllindirectlytellthem.
Wowthatsagreatidea,ruiningyouroneofakindtalentjusttoproveapoint.Exactly
whatMomandDadwouldwant,Merinnsnewfounduseofsarcasmisreallystartingtobother
me.Now,wheneveryoupickupapaintbrush,Ihavetomakesurewhateveryourecreatingis
sociallyacceptable,insteadoftrustingthatyourhandiworkcanhaveonlystunningresults.Isit
reallynecessarytoburdenmewiththeresponsibilityofyourlifeSafire?Merinnpleadswithher
voice,hereyesstillhardandunbreachable.Notmyfaultyourenotlettingmelivemyownlife,
Merinn.IdoublecheckifIhaveallmysupplies,tuckthemunderneathmyarm,andstruggle
withopeningthestickylockwithonlyonehand.
Finallythelockcomplies,butbeforeIcanleave,Merinnrepeats,Whereareyou
going?Now,itseemslikeshesmoretroubledaboutmywhereaboutsthanmyoffensive
artwork.Welltoobad,IdontreallycarewhatyouthinkanymoreMerinn.Trytostopmefrom
sharinghowwegotthebadendofthisdeal.Justyoutry.
AwayThedoorslamswithfinality.