Sibling Rivalry

Birth Order

 Draw a picture of your family. After

drawing the picture, list the qualities,

traits, etc. that you feel you have
because of your place in the family.

SIBLING RELATIONSHIPS
How can a sibling relationship be a
positive part of a family?
Role models
Supporters
members of a coalition for dealing with
parents.

Why are siblings

important?
We have a shared history with out
siblings.
Siblings share memories and a sense of
family identity.
Siblings share with us a lifetime worth of
memories and stories.

Why are siblings

important? cont.
We cannot choose our siblings as we do
our friends.
The sibling relationship has the longest
duration of any other relationship.
We turn to our siblings for support and
advice.

SIBLING ROLES
Playmates and
Companions
Teachers and
Learners
Protectors and
dependants
Adversaries
Role Models

Younger children typically copy and

try to excel in areas in which older
children have previously succeeded.
One or both parents sometimes
single out one child as the best and
another as the black sheep.
children perceive the parents
attitudes and compete with one
another for affection and approval.

Next to the parent-child relationship,

the sibling relationship is probably
the strongest.

Enjoy deep sharing.

Teaching and socializing is
often the role of an older brother or
sister.
The older sibling is not only teacher but
caretaker and companion.

SIBLING RIVALRY
Question: What are some typical things
brothers and sisters have problems with
or argue about?
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Competition among children of the same family for their

parents affections or for dominance is called sibling
rivalry. It is extremely common, and it sometimes
persists into adult life.

What about sibling rivalry?

Sibling rivalry refers to the competition and
jealousy between siblings for the scarce
resources of the family-attention, love, time,
position, money, things.
Shows up as
conflict or sabotage.

Why is sibling rivalry

positive?
Sign of a healthy family (in a
dysfunctional home, children cling
together for security).
Teaches children conflict resolution in an
effective and civil manner.
You learn how to handle your
disagreements with others.

Sibling rivalry.
We learn that the world is not fair. Life is
full of inequalities.

How to manage sibling

conflict

Make sure each child is given plenty of love

Avoid comparisons
Listen to both sides of the story
Dont dismiss one childs feelings over
anothers
Try to let the children work it out themselves
Praise your children when they play well
together

BIRTH ORDER

The order in which children are born in to

a family has an influence on the
development of the children.

The stages in the family life cycle are

based on the age of the oldest child
because everything the firstborn does in
new to the parents.

Why study birth order?

Your birth order determines:

How you see yourself
How your personality is shaped by family
The strategies you have developed to deal
with people
How you handle the relationships in your
life

Things to remember about

Birth Order

Exceptions in traits
Focus on positive traits of each birth
order
Becoming aware of uniqueness
Use the information to understand
ourselves and others
Do not use traits as labels or stereotypes

The oldest child is:

Usually set up as an example to the other

children.
Treated more like an adult by his/her parents.
A high achiever
Given and accepts more responsibility than
the other children.
Usually college bound.
Independent
Is affectionate

1st Born Compliant Traits

People pleasers
Crave approval
Nurturers
Caregivers
Reliable
Cooperative
Team players
Grin and bear it mentality

Aggressive traits

Movers and shakers

Natural leaders
Perfectionists
Driven
Conventional
Always have things under control
Assertive
Want things their way

Common traits
Common traits
Energetic
Logical
Enterprising

Scholarly

The middle child:

May work extra-hard to get recognition.

Is usually a peace maker.
is somewhat average in schoolwork, but
is an all-around good student
Is usually a calm, even-tempered adult.

2 types

Loner
Quiet shy
Impatient
Uptight

Outgoing
Friendly
Loud
Laid back
Patient

The youngest child:

Gets a lot of attention, along with a lot

of bossing.
May be spoiled
Usually matures quickly
May be undisciplined and irresponsible
Is easy-going about school.
Likes to associate with someone who
takes charge of situations.

Traits of last born

Risk takers
Idealists
Good sense of humor
Hard working
Immature
Attention seeking
Secretive
Sensitive
Outgoing/social

MARRIAGE IN RELATION TO
BIRTH ORDER

Oldest and youngest the youngest is

use to being taken care of and the oldest
likes taking care of others.
Two youngest - will have lots of fun
together, but may resent each other later
because no one is taking care of each
other.
Two Oldest admire and respect each
other because of the traits they possess.
However later on they may have
problems trying to agree on things.

 Oldest child:
Create complicated projects for students to complete.
They like structure and order in the classroom.
They are happiest when students are sitting in nicely
arrange desks, straight in a line.
Students are quiet and do as they are told.
the oldest child teacher will be frustrated unless they
learn how to achieve the organization in a different
way.

 A middle child teacher:

is interested in the psychological well being as
well as the academic achievement of the
student.
They seek out the rebellious students in hope
of influencing them in a more positive
direction.
They try to achieve order through mutual
respect and understanding.

 A teacher who is a younger child:

are more creative, fun loving, adjust well to
noise and disorder.
Teachers allow students to take
more responsibility so they wont
have to do everything
themselves

WHAT IS YOUR TEACHER?

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