Donts from your child to you

1. Dont be frightened of being firm with me, I feel safer when you are firm as I feel secure.

2. Dont spoil me, I know as well as you do that I shouldnt have everything I ask for. Im only
trying you out.

3. Dont let me get into bad habits. I rely on you to help me stop them.

4. Dont make me feel smaller than I am already. It makes me act big, and then I make a fool of
myself.

5. Dont correct me in front of other people unless you have to. Its much better if you talk to me
on my own.

6. Dont make me feel Ive sinned when Ive made a mistake. My sense of values gets upset if
you do.

7. Dont cushion me from the consequences of what Ive done all the time. Sometimes I need to
learn the hard way.

8. Dont over react when I said I hate you! I love you its your power over me that I
sometimes resent.

9. Dont make a fuss when theres nothing much wrong with me. But remember I may be fussing
to get your attention if I feel excluded.

10. Dont nag me. If you do I may have to pretend to be deaf to protect myself.

11. Dont forget that I cant always explain thing as clearly as you can. Thats why you
sometimes think Im not telling the truth, when I am.

12. Dont promise something you wont be able to do. I feel awful when you let me down.

13. Dont push me into corner with questions. If you frighten me then I tell lies and I dont
really want to.

14. Dont say one thing and do another. This confuses me and makes me lose faith in you.

15. Dont say Im silly when I tell you what Im worried about. Im really frightened of some
things, and need your understanding and reassurance.

16. Dont fob me off when Im asking questions. If you dont answer me, then Ill stop asking you
and have to get the answers from somewhere else and I want your answers!

17. Dont pretend you are perfect or infallible I know you are not!

18. Dont think you are so important to apologize to me. I love you so much when you tell me
youve done wrong, and say you are sorry.

19. Dont think Ive stopped growing up. Please try to understand that Im growing every day.

20. Dont forget I love experimenting. I cant grow without it so please put up with it.

21. Dont forget that I need your understanding love if Im going to thrive but you love me
already and I dont need to tell you that do I?