Rugby Songs

Intermission Song (ours)

Usually sung at the beginning of the singing portion of a social, and again once
a song finishes or when no one has another verse to add.)
(Raise your cup)
SOCIAL! Around the head! Who said head? Ill take some of that shit. And we
did. And it was good. And we fucked. We fucked for hours. Uprooting trees and
flowers. Like the Vikings did, with horns on their head. Who said head Ill take
some of that shit. SOCIAL!
Variation: add to the end: ANTISOCIAL Fuck you!

Days of the Week
Leader: Monday is a working day!
Everyone: Monday is a working day!

Leader: How's your mother?!
Everyone: Alright!

Leader: How's your father?!
Everyone: Out of Sight!

Leader: How's your sister?!
Everyone: Too Tight!

Leader: When's the last time?!
Everyone: Last night!

Leader: When's the next time?!
Everyone: Tonight!

Leader: IS EVERYBODY HAPPY?!
Everyone: YOU BET YOUR ASS WE ARE!
Doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo.
(put your finger on top of somebodys head, and it means they have to twirl like a ballerina)
Tuesdays a Toking day.
Wednesdays a whacking day.
Thursday is a Drinking day.
Friday is a Fucking day.
SATURDAY'S A RUGBY DAY!!!!!
Sunday is a Holy hangover day.
Chicago
Everyone:
I used to work in Chicago, I used to work in the store.
I used to work in Chicago. I don't work there anymore.
Leader: A man/woman came into the store one day, looking for a ruler.
Everyone: A ruler? From the store?
Leader: A ruler he wanted, twelve inches I got. . .
Everyone: Ohhhhhhh. I used to work in Chicago, I used to work in the store. I used
to work in Chicago, I don't work there anymore.

More Verses
A nail (s)he wanted. Screwed (s)he got.
Meat he wanted. His Sausage I got.
Beef he wanted. His pork I got.
A fishing rod he wanted. His pole I got.
A belt she wanted. Her strap-on I got.
Coffee he wanted. His cream I got.
Some velvet (s)he wanted. Felt (s)he got.
A hammer (s)he wanted. Nailed (s)he got.
A camel (s)he wanted. Humped (s)he got.
Elevator he wanted. His shaft I got.
Gun (s)he wanted. Banged (s)he got.
Bolts he wanted. His nuts I got.
Sailors he wanted. Semen I got.
Watering can he wanted. His hose I got.
Tabacco he wanted. His pipe I got.
Some tile (s)he wanted. Laid (s)he got.
A vacuum (s)he wanted. Sucked (s)he got.
Butter (s)he wanted. Spread I got.
A Big Mac he wanted. His Whopper I got.
Piano he wanted. His organ I got.
Chips (s)he wanted. Lays (s)he got.
Racoon he wanted, my beaver he got.
Muscle car he wanted, his hot rod I got.
Plumber he wanted. Clean pipes he got.
A cucumber he wanted. His pickle I got.
A lollipop (s)he wanted. Licked (s)he got.
Helicopter he wanted. His chopper I got.
A good deal (s)he wanted. Fucked (s)he got.
Grapes (s)he wanted. My melons (s)he got.
A damp cat (s)he wanted. Wet pussy (s)he got.
Some carpet (s)he wanted. Shagged s(he)got.
Some paper (s)he wanted. Reamed she/I got.
Some seafood (s)he wanted. My crabs (s)he got.
Some stamps (s)he wanted. Licked (s)he/I got.
A KitKat (s)he wanted. Four fingers she/I got.
Some Jewelry he wanted. A pearl necklace I got.
A screen door (s)he wanted. The back door she/I got.
A computer (s)he wanted. My hard drive (s)he got.
A screen door (s)he wanted. Slammed (s)he got.
Strawberries (s)he wanted. My cherry (s)he got.
Pirate outfit (s)he wanted, jolly rogering (s)he got.
Officers recreational facility (s)he wanted. My mess (s)he got.
Glazed doughnut he wanted. Cream filled I got.
Brass taps (s)he wanted. Golden shower (s)he got.
Quick service (s)he wanted. Quickly serviced (s)he got.
Ground coffee (s)he wanted. Ground (s)he got.
Some fireworks (s)he wanted. Banged (s)he got.
Some Shakespeare he wanted. His Dickens I got.
Some help (s)he wanted. My aids (s)he got.
A life raft she wanted, motorboated she got.
Coffee (s)he wanted, t-bagged (s)he got.
If I were the Marrying Kind...
Everyone:
If I were the marrying kind, and I thank the lord Im not sir.
The kind of rugger I would be would be a rugby
Leader: Prop, sir.
Everyone: Prop, sir. Whys that, sir?
Leader:
Cause Id support a hooker, and youd support a hooker. Wed all support a hooker
together. Wed be alright, in the middle of the night, supporting hookers together.

More Verses:
Scrum Half. Cause Id put it in.
Lock. Cause Id grab crotch.
Center. Id find holes.
Full back. I'd fill holes.
Full back #2. Id get fucked.
Flanker. Id get off quick.
Rule Book. Id be violated.
Boot. Id come in a box.
Boot #2: Id be tied up.
Ball. Id be bound in leather.
Whistle. Id get blown.
Ball #2. Id get touched.
Upright. Id get split.
Upright #2. Id stand erect.
Fly half. Id call the shots.
Shorts. Id go up your butt.
Spectator. Id get to watch.
Scrum Half #2: Id grab balls.
Ball #3. Id get stripped
Hooker. Id swipe balls.
Lock. Id grab crotch
Lock #2. Id sniff butt.
Wing. Id never get it.
Wing #2. Id come faster.
Wing #3. Id spread it wide.
Grounds Keeper #1. Id trim bush.
Spectator in the rain. Id come in rubbers.
Spectator on a sunny day. Id come again.
Team from far away. Id come for hours.
Grounds keeper #2. I'd do lines.
Spectator in the rain #1. I'd get wet.
Spectator in the rain #2. I'd come in rubbers.
Spectator in the rain #3. I'd always come.
Housewife
I dont wanna be a housewife
Id much rather be a whore
Id rather turn some tricks
Involving footlong dicks
Housework is such a bloody bore, Oh Blimey
I dont wanna sweep this fucking kitchen
I dont wanna mop this fucking floor
Id rather be getting laid
Im not even getting paid
And as it is I have to ask for more,
Oh Blimey
Monday Id strut the streets of Stratford
Tuesday Id beat some meat in Wales
Wednesday by the Thames, Id lay them ten by ten
Thursdays saved for all thats female
Fridays for handjobs and for blowjobs
Saturdays otherwise occupied. OCCUPIED.
And Sunday at the palace, Id mount his royal phallus
And take his royal Highness for a ride, oh Blimey
I dont wanna be a housewife
Id much rather be a whore
Id rather turn some tricks involving footlong dicks
Housework is such a bloody bore, oh Blimey
I dont wanna have this fucking baby
Ill leave this house this very fucking day! FUCKING DAY!
And strut the streets of Cambridge, oh mighty mighty Cambridge
And fornicate my fucking life away

Shit Damn
(Usually separated into forwards and backs, then each side goes back and forth
starting in a whisper and trying to see who can shout louder in the end.)
Shit damn, fuck a damn, fuck a damn, damn
Some motherfucker just fucked my man
Ill fuck another fucker better than the other fucker
Shit damn, fuck a damn, fuck a damn, damn

Dicks vs. Dykes
(This is a battling song. You split up into two groups based on how youre feeling that
day [or if you are terrible at making decisions like I am, you just sing both
parts]. Theres a dicks group and a dykes group and you both sing your own parts
for the chorus and try to be louder than the other group.)
CHORUS:
Dick, da-dick, da-dick, dick, da-dick, da-dick, dick, da-dick, dick, WHOO!
(OR)
Dyke, da-dyke, da-dyke, dyke, da-dyke, da-dyke, dyke, da-dyke, dyke, WHOO!

Verse 1 - Dicks group
Gimme gimme that number one, cuz sucking dick is so much fun!
Its long and firm and full of sperm

(Chorus battle)

Verse 2 - Dykes group
Gimme gimme that number two, cuz eatin pussy is good for you!
Its soft and loose and full of juice
(Chorus battle)
Verse 3 (dicks group)
Gimme gimme that number three, cuz suckin dick is good for me

Verse 4 (dykes group)
Gimme gimme that number four, cuz eatin pussy makes me want more

Verse 5 (dicks group)
Gimme gimme that number five, cuz suckin dick makes me feel alive

Verse 6 (dykes group)
Gimme gimme that number six, cuz eatin pussy makes me like chicks

Verse 7 (dicks group)
Gimme gimme that number seven, cuz suckin dick puts me in heaven

Verse 8 (dykes group)
Gimme gimme that number eight, cuz eatin pussy makes me feel great

Verse 9 (dicks group)
Gimme gimme that number nine, cuz suckin dick makes me feel fine

Verse 10 (dykes group)
Gimme gimme that number ten, cuz likin chicks makes me hate men

Songs Other Teams Sing but We Dont Really Know (yo-ho and yogi bear)
Yo-ho
I put my hand upon her toe, yo-ho (yo-ho).
I put my hand upon her toe, yo-ho (yo-ho).
I put my hand upon her toe
She said hey rugger, youre way too low!
Get in get out quit fuckin about yo ho yo ho yo ho.
I put my hand upon her calf yo ho (yo ho)
I put my hand upon her calf yo ho(yo ho)
I put my hand upon her calf
She said hey rugger your makin me laugh
Get in Get out quit fuckin about yo ho yo ho yo ho
I put my hand upon her knee yo ho yo ho
I put my hand upon her knee yo ho yo ho
I put my hand upon her knee
She said hey rugger youre teasin me!
Get in get out quit fuckin about yo ho yo ho yo ho
I put my hand upon her thigh yo ho yo ho
I put my hand upon her thigh yo ho yo ho
I put my hand upon her thigh
She said hey rugger youre way too shy
Get in get out quit fuckin upon yo ho yo ho yo ho
I put my hand upon her tit yo ho yo ho
I put my hand upon her tit yo ho yo ho
I put my hand upon her tit
She said hey rugger youre gettin it
Get in get out quit fuckin about yo ho yo ho yo ho
I put my hand upon her twat yo ho yo ho
I put my hand upon her twat yo ho yo ho
I put my hand upon her twat
She said hey rugger you hit the spot
Get in get out quit fuckin about yo ho yo ho yo ho
I put my dick into her ear, yo ho yo ho
I put my dick into her ear, yo ho yo ho
I put my dick into her ear
She said hey rugger youre nowhere near
Get in get out quit fuckin about yo ho yo ho yo ho
I put my dick into her mouth, yo ho yo ho
I put my dick into her mouth, yo ho yo ho
I put my dick into her mouth
She said (drink some beer and spit it out at whomever you wish)
Get in get out quit fuckin about yo ho yo ho yo ho
And now she lies in a ole pine box, yo-ho (yo-ho).
And now she lies in a ole pine box, yo-ho (yo-ho).
And now she lies in a ole pine box, she died from suckin too many ruggers cocks!
Get in, get out, quit fucking about yo-ho yo-ho yo-ho.

I dig her up every now and then, yo-ho (yo-ho).
I dig her up every now and then, yo-ho (yo-ho).
I dig her up every now and then, we fucked her once well fuck her again!
Get in, get out, quit fucking about yo-ho yo-ho yo-ho.
Yogi Bear
Player: I know a bear that we all know
Everyone: Yogi, Yogi, I know a bear that we all know, Yogi Yogi Bear. Yogi Yogi
Bear, Yogi Yogi Bear. I know a bear that we all know, Yogi Yogi Bear.
Player: Yogi has a girlfriend
Everyone: Susie, Susie, Yogi has a girlfriend, Susie Susie Bear. Susie Susie Bear,
Susie Susie Bear. Yogi has a girlfriend, Susie Susie Bear.
Other verses:
Susie has a girlfriend, Klondike. Klondike, Klondike Bear.
Yogi likes it on the fridge, Polar. Polar, Polar Bear.
Yogis dick is long and green, Cucum. Cucum, Cucumber.
Susie wears lingerie, Teddy. Teddy, Teddy bear.
Yogis girlfriend has no teeth, Gummy. Gummy, Gummy bear.
Yogi weighs 400 pounds, More Than. More than, more than I can bear.
(alt) Yogi has a ten-inch knob, More Than. More than, more than I can bear.
Susie is pregnant, Push Her. Push Her, Push Her Down the Stairs.
(alt) Susie missed her period, Push Her. Push Her, Push Her Down the Stairs.
Yogi has a cheesy knob, camem. Camem, Camembert.
Susie likes it interracial, Panda. Panda, Panda Bear.
(alt) Susie likes it in the face, Panda. Panda, Panda Bear.
Susie likes it up a tree, Koala. Koala, Koala bear.
Susies into whips and chains, Kinky. Kinky, Kinky bear.
Susie doesnt shave her minch, Grizzly. Grizzly, Grizzly bear.
Yogi used a condom, Care Bear. Care, Care Care Bear.
Susie likes it up the back, Brown Bear. Brown, Brown Brown Bear.
Yogi has a little friend, BooBoo. BooBoo, BooBoo Bear.
BooBoos only 3 feet tall, blowjob. Blowjob, blowjob bear.
(alt: BooBoos only 3 feet tall, blowjob. Yogis a lucky bear!)
Yogi drives a Cadillac, black bear. Black bear, black bear.
Susie likes it upside down, koala. Koala, koala bear.
Yogi cuddles after sex, care bear. Care bear, care bear.
Yogis dick is 3 feet long, bullshit. Bullshit, bullshit bear.