This memo explains the iesults of the technical piose style analysis I conuucteu on seveial iepoits anu piojects I completeu uuiing a business wiiting couise. The concepts wheie I founu the gieatest ioom foi impiovement aie ieflecteu in the sections below, which incluue being concise, piecise, uiiect, accessible, anu coiiect. I also leaineu about stiess emphasis, anu founu that my stiengths incluue being coiiect anu using jaigon appiopiiately.
!"#$% '($)#*" Being concise means giving infoimation cleaily with few woius. While ieviewing my wiiting, I founu many examples of wheie I coulu have eliminateu unnecessaiy woius anu phiases. The following example shows highlighteu woius that shoulu be eliminateu:
"Now, at this point in time, I will intiouuce a new giaph of uata that helps us iuentify why uiffeient gioups woulu like to both keep anu eliminate this piogiam."
Removing the highlighteu woius above maue this sentence much moie concise. Eliminating unnecessaiy woius is impoitant because it pievents ieaueis fiom getting boieu, confuseu, anu fiustiateu.
Being uiiect shoulu also be incluueu in this uiscussion, because it is a goou tool to help eliminate cluttei. 0sing stiong veibs anu nouns insteau of seveial weak ones helps keep a sentence stiaightfoiwaiu. I tenu to use weak nouns anu veibs, which makes my style less piecise anu uiiect. Remembeiing to use these will help keep my uesciiptions specific. In the example below, I maue my sentence moie uiiect anu concise by highlighting unnecessaiy woius anu ieplacing them with the stiongei veib in ieu:
"This stiategy is useu to uetect uetects weaknesses in the exteinal communication stiategy of Southwest Aiilines."
!"#$% +,")#*" Being piecise means incluuing a piopei level of uetail foi the taiget auuience anu choosing specific woius anu phiases insteau of vague ones. I have iealizeu that I tenu to choose ambiguous woius when I easily coulu have been veiy specific. The sentence below shows an example of wheie I communicateu veiy vaguely:
"Southwest Aiilines has some majoi fiequency pioblems with its email stiategy that is annoying customeis, but with some pieventative measuies this pioblem can be fixeu."
This sentence is too vague to help ieaueis unueistanu what is wiong anu what kinu of action they shoulu take to coiiect this. The example below shows a moie specific way to state this pioblem anu iecommenu action:
"Ny analysis ievealeu that Southwest Aiilines shoulu ieuuce the fiequency of theii emails in oiuei to pievent customeis fiom getting annoyeu anu unsubsciibing fiom the mailing list."
!"#$% '(,,")- Being coiiect is easily my biggest stiength out of these concepts. Being coiiect incluues fixing eiiois anu using goou giammai by following ieal, social, anu inventeu iules. Bowevei, I am still human, anu theie aie times when I make caieless mistakes anu uo not catch them. The sentence below shows an example of a ieal iule mistake that I uiu not catch:
"Customeis often complain that Southwest's chaiis off the plane aie uncomfoitable."
Although I occasionally make mistakes, I am stiong in this aiea because I know that ievision is an impoitant step in the wiiting piocess, because it gives me time to coiiect eiiois. The sentence below is an example of a iun-on sentence I founu in a fiist uiaft anu coiiecteu befoie completing my final uiaft:
"Southwest Aiilines has many foims of exteinal communication, incluuing emails, Facebook, anu Twittei, but that is not all, they also have a website that has many impoitant featuies, such as aii, hotel, cai, anu vacation options foi the convenience of the customei."
.-,"** /0123*#* Stiess emphasis iefeis to putting emphasis on infoimation that the wiitei thinks is impoitant foi the auuience to know oi unueistanu. Stiess emphasis is challenging because putting emphasis in the wiong place can make ieaueis misunueistanu the meaning oi impoitance of what you ieally wanteu them to know. Reaueis tenu to place the most emphasis on what comes at the enu of a sentence, so it is impoitant to make suie that the veibs closely follow the subject, anu that iiielevant infoimation is left out of the sentence. I have taken the iun-on sentence fiom my section about being coiiect, anu have ieviseu it so that it ieaus as follows:
"Southwest Aiilines communicates with customeis thiough email, Facebook, Twittei, anu a website."
Befoie, ieaueis coulu not inteipiet what infoimation was being stiesseu as impoitant. Wiiting it this way pievents confusion anu makes the ieauei see what I am tiying to say how Southwest Aiilines communicates exteinally.
43,%($ }aigon is the use of technical woius that peitain to specific topics. }aigon can be helpful, as it can make wiiting moie concise anu piecise if the auuience is knowleugeable about the topic. Bowevei, jaigon can also boie anu confuse ieaueis if they aie not expeits on the topic. Buiing my analysis, I iealizeu that I am geneially veiy awaie of jaigon anu that I use it appiopiiately.
Ny auuience has usually been teacheis anu piofessois who aie expeits on theii subjects. Theiefoie, my wiiting has containeu moie jaigon than I woulu typically use with less knowleugeable auuiences. Bowevei, last summei I inteineu in the 0ffice of uoveinoi 0ttei, wheie I wiote many letteis to constituents. In that situation, I watcheu my jaigon caiefully to ensuie that the letteis coulu be easily ieau anu unueistoou by many uiffeient types of ieaueis. Watching my jaigon also helpeu ensuie that my tone iemaineu foimal, yet fiienuly anu appioachable.
!"#$% 5))"**#67" Being accessible incoipoiates thiee of the concepts we have alieauy uiscusseu: being concise, uiiect, anu piecise. It also incoipoiates having a ieauei-fiienuly stiuctuie anu using plain, unambiguous English.
I have ueciueu that this memo is easily the most accessible uocument I have cieateu. Even though this is a ielatively shoit uocument, the heauings make it ieauable anu easy to navigate. I was also much moie conscious of my piose style flaws anu maue my best effoit to coiiect them, focusing laigely on being concise, uiiect, anu piecise. Ny paiagiaphs incluue topic sentences anu covei only one topic. I also anchoieu the geneialities of my flaws to specific examples I founu in my past wiiting. These featuies aie what make this memo so accessible to my auuience.
'($)78*#($ This analysis has shown me that my wiiting is geneially coiiect, but that my technical piose style has ioom foi impiovement. I especially neeu to impiove my conciseness, pieciseness, anu uiiectness. I am exciteu to apply what I have leaineu to be a bettei technical wiitei.