Mental Abuse

How does being mentally abused as a child impact adult relationship?

Caron Abrams
Mrs. Lindinger
Senior Research Paper
April 2, 2014

Introduction
Childhood should be carefree, playing in the sun; not living a nightmare in the darkness of
the soul (Dave Pelzer, A Child Called It, 1995). This quote expresses many different things
that are going to be addresses with Mental abuse such as the emotional and psychological trauma
that one can experience, the different effects that mental abuse can cause to children and can
follow them into adulthood, how it affects relationships, and ways to cope with mental abuse.
Mental abuse is not something to joke about. It is a predicament that anyone can find
themselves in. It can involve adults as well as innocent children. Knowing that someone can
intentionally mentally hurt someone elses psyche is appalling. To do that to a person can
generate a trait that can be passed down to your child. There are ways about ourselves that
people may not understand until we provoke them. As human beings we shouldnt harbor mental
abuse.








Literature review

In the article Effects of Abuse by author: Kathryn Patricelli, she discusses becoming
aware of the forms that abuse can take shape, and ways to better help others be prepared to
recognize such behaviors as abuse. She mentions the psychological effects that abuse can have
and mental illness that abuse can cause.
In the article Child Abuse and Neglect by author: Melinda Smith and Jeanne Segal, it
states that child abuse is more than bruises and broken bones (2013, pg 1). While physical
abuse might be the most visible, mental abuse can cause much damage emotionally. This article
addresses myths and facts about mental abuse, different types of abuse, warning signs to be
aware of, and ways to break the cycle.
In the article History of Child Abuse by author: Lloyd Demaise, The key information
he gave is as follows: The history of abuse, research on this topic and an analysis of the
information found, and what happens in a mentally abusive environment.
In the articel Abuse, Neglect, and Family Violence by author: Dr.Samson Omotosho,
Ph.D, he addresses abuse and violence in the family. He refers to physical and emotional
behaviors, and which occur between family or household members. He talks about forms of
abuse, myths regarding abuse, and how an individual can leave an abuser.
In the article Child Abuse: An Overview, by author C.J Newton, he talks about how
children suffering abuse develop a range of maladaptive, anti-social and self-destructive
behaviors. It also mentions their thoughts by trying to cope with the abuse - by trying to
understand the situation and why the abuse is happening.
In the article Emotional Abuse, by author Dubowitz,H and Deanfilis,D.(Eds) states
While the definition of emotional abuse is often complex and imprecise or most parents
occasional have negative attitudes or actions are not considered emotional abuse (2000, pg 1). It
mentions that some of the best parents have moments when they have momentarily lost control
and said hurtful things to their children, fail to give them the attention they wanted or
unintentionally scared them.















Key Point 1
First the most important thing is to present a form of resistance to the dominant
discourse that is formed when emotional abuse hurts the child, secondly the betrayal it has when
the adult or child experience the effect of emotional challenges they endured during childhood,
and struggle to learn how to deal with difficulties verse conflict as a child (Mackinnon, 1998,
pg1). Without knowing the differences between handling responsible in both personal life and
with outsiders, when a child is being mentally abused many people often do not see the trauma
that is being caused.
Many young children who have been mentally abused are frightened of the world, which
can cause long term affects that can follow them into adulthood. It can cause feelings such as:
helplessness, anxiety, fear, fear of separation, feeling neglected and feeling they are singled out
and picked on. Not all potentially traumatic events lead to lasting to emotional and
psychological damage. Some people rebound quickly from even the most tragic and shocking
experiences, while others are devastated by experiences that, on the surface appear to be less
upsetting (Mackinnon, 1998, pg7).
Key Point 2
A number of risk factors make people susceptible to emotional and psychological
trauma. People are more likely to be traumatized by a stressful experience if they are already
under a heavy stress load or have recently suffered a series of losses (Mackinnon, 1998, pg7). If
a person was traumatized in their past, sometimes that person may have mood swings or
abnormal behavior, such a anger, disbelief, irritability, shame, guilt, to ones self. Even as an
adult, they can carry these traits from their childhood (Mackinnon, 1998, pg12).
Dealing with someone with emotional past trauma you have to be patient. Healing from
emotional or psychological trauma takes time, so be patient with the pace of recovery and
remember that everyones response to trauma is difficult. Do not judge your loved ones reaction
or anyone elses. Offer practical support to help your loved one get back into a normal routine.
That may mean help with collecting groceries or housework, for example or simply being
available to talk or listen (Mackinnon, 1998, pg12).
If someone is demonstrating behaviors that indicate they have been a victim of some type
of trauma do not force your loved ones to open up but let them know you are there to listen
whenever they feel ready (Mackinnon 1998, pg12). Other ways to help victims is to encourage
them to socialize, relax, take part in exercise, find friends and/or a hobby of interest or any other
activities that being them happiness. When someone is trying to recover from past trauma such
as emotional abuse, never take anything personal. When a victim is trying to not show negative
emotion is can lead to mood swings and unexpected behaviors.
In a child and parent relationship, if a child is acting abnormal or out of control, you may
have to call the authorities or local child service like (DHS) Department of human service. If the
child has severe symptoms, then it is suggested to put him or her in a special program so they can
learn to deal their abuse and neglect. If a child has some, where to go for an outlet they mature
and get out into the world and in relationships. Most children who get help learn how to handle
almost everything when become an adult.
Key Point 3
According to a recent study published in the November issue of Personality and Social
Psychology bulletin, it was found that Abused children may have a difficult time developing
adult relationships with new people who reminded them of their abusive parent, even if only
implicitly ( Berenson, 2006, pg1). Researchers also found that the abused participants reported
an increase in negative mood changes/behavior when they saw the person resembling their
abuser. They described them as explicitly threatening (compared to when there was no explicit
threat). They showed no such response in the absence of parental resemblance (Berenson,
2006, pg1).
Emotional abuse affects a childs perception of him or herself. The child begins to see
him or herself as unworthy of love and affection because they are constantly shamed, humiliated,
terrorized or rejected. Sometimes the child suffers more from emotional abuse than they would if
they were physically abused. Emotional abuse can be the cruelest and most destructive child
abuse. Different types of emotional abuse include the following:
First is Disregard which is when a parent may not be able to meet the emotional needs of
their child. They may not show affection or nurture them. The parent may refuse to even
recognize the childs presence (Besharvo, 1990, pg1). Next is Rejection, which is when some
parents do not bond well with their child and will reject them. They may remind the child that
they are unwanted, they might tell the child to leave, call them names, or make them doubt their
worth (Besharvo, 1990, pg1). Then there is Isolation which is when a parent might not let the
child have friends or interact with others. They want the child to be alone. (Besharvo, 1990,
pg1). There is also Corruption which is when a parent may let their child use drugs or alcohol,
watch cruel behaviors, watch pornographic materials, or witness/ participate in crimes such as
stealing, assault, prostitution or gambling (Besharvo, 1990, pg1). Finally there is Terrorization
which is where a parent may focus all of his or her anger on one child. The parent may ridicule
them for displaying their emotions or criticize them. The child may be constantly threatened by
an adult figure who is supposed to be supportive and caring (Besharvo, 1990, pg1).
Key Point 4
According the old saying sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never
hurt me was the common way to tell your child that words do not hurt your feelings, but in all
truth, it can psychological affect you because of many reasons and of things that get to you not
because your force to, but it wasnt expected.
When children are belittled, ignored, and threaten it can damage their mental capacity
of their psychological health (Goodwin, 2012, pg1). As for physical or sexual abuse, not only
are there no obvious physical scars but the abuse could still be noticeable. Pediatrician,
teachers, and family members may have trouble recognizing this with no general reason of the
definition of what constitutes psychological maltreatment of children. A fine line can exist
between not so great parenting and outright abuse, experts say (Goodwin, 2012, pg1).
The main message for child health clinicians and other people working with children is
that psychological maltreatment is just as harmful as other types of maltreatment (Goodwin,
2012, pg1). According to Dr. Harriet Macmillan, a professor in the department of psychiatry,
behavioral neurosciences and pediatrics at McMaster University in Ontario, Canada, exposure
to other types of maltreatment like any other type of abuse, can range from impairment of self
knowledge that an individual does not have and social development. (Goodwin, 2012, pg1).
It has been estimated that 8 percent to 9 percent of Woman and 4 percent of men
reported severe psychological abuse during their childhood (The American Academy of
Pediatrics, 2012, pg1). Mistreatment of children can come in several different forms, including
belittling, humiliation, and ridiculing a child for showing standard feelings. There is also
neglect, such as leaving an infant alone in a house all day, except for feeding and changing
diapers. Others forms of psychological maltreatment can include withholding love and warmth
from a child, child putting children in dangerous or chaotic situation, having rigid or unrealistic
expectations accompanied by threats if not, met confining a child restricting social interaction,
limiting a childs access to necessary health care reasons of their own regards (The American
Academy of Pediatrics, 2012, pg1).
Conclusion
Overall, in adult relationships a person who has been abused tends to often have issues
following with them relating to their abuse during childhood. Some affects in the adult
relationships are: finding someone that resembles their abuser, feeling of rejection, fear of
trusting others, harbors anger, suffers from depression, and they tend to separate themselves from
everyone and everything as much as possible because they are afraid of being hurt. Ways to
cope with mental abuse are: talking to friends/family, writing in a diary, going to counseling to
address these concerns, and leaving the abuser. All victims are affected differently from abuse
and cope differently as well.






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