Ryle MacPebbles

English 103

Abuse
While doing research and trying to figure out whom to interview, not myself,
I came across a very special girl who will be the focal point of this paper. She not
only survived abuse and more, but also is stronger from it and strives to better
herself in the aftermath. I seek to enlighten others to the fact that emotional abuse is
real and still happening every day. Even though the wounds and scars go unseen
they are there and hurt just as bad.
The abuse has no real demographics to speak of. It has been found in the
homes of the rich and the poor of this country. In 2005 there were over 3.3 million
referrals alone of abuse and neglect of a child in America. In all 899,000 children
were confirmed to have been abused or neglected by a parent or guardian. That
means 12 out of every 1000 children under 18 in the United States were victims of
maltreatment 2005. 49.7 % of the maltreated were white, 23.1 were African
American, 17.4 % were Hispanic, American Indian and Alaska natives accounted
for 1.2 % of the victims. Most of this abuse ( 76.6 % ) comes at the hands of the
parents themselves.
Thousands of children are abused and neglected every day by their parents
and/or guardians. This is very harmful on the physical and emotional well being of
that child. Emotional abuse can, and does, happen in all types of families. By
verbally assaulting as in constantly belittling, shaming, and ridiculing them can
seriously injure their ability to cope. Calling them names such as stupid, lazy, good
for nothing or phrases like Youll never amount to anything, If you could be
more like you brother, You can never do anything right destroy a childs self-
esteem. Emotional abuse is an assault on a childs psyche, just as physical abuse is
on their bodies is. This can cause emotional and psychological stress in children in
many ways that can carry on into their adult life.
In the beginning of my research there were moments when I thought I would
not be able to find an abuse survivor because so many go unnoticed and there is no
real support group to visit. Then I realized I already knew a survivor of abuse. Her
name is Lacey McVey. Her story might not ever have been told except for this
paper. She was one of the many who fell through the cracks of an overworked
system. Living most of her life in the shadows of a dysfunctional family. Her abuse
was mostly psychological/mental. Destroying her self worth not know who her real
family was or self worth.
When I asked Lacey hoe or if she was neglected or abused she told me some
stories I didnt know. She said I didnt get attention the way I would have wanted
it. I received attention in the dumbest ways; such as at school my looks and
womanly expectations is one way to put it. I was expected to help clean cook for my
family. I should be a stay at home type of person. What else do I need in life to
succeed. She believes that there is more to life than that. I was told of the
ridiculing she would get for questioning her role in life. She would never be good
enough, forget about going anywhere in life. How not really having parents turned
her harsh towards family life.
This is a prime example of how abuse can drive a child into solitude
withdrawing from society. How the effect of verbal and mental abuse can affect the
way a child views life later on. Emotional neglect can come in many forms. Ignoring
them. Failing to acknowledge the childs need for stimulation or encouragement
even ignoring they are present. What might seem so little can cause so much
Rejection and verbally assaulting your children does no good. Lack of affection,
belittling and degrading them only isolates them in their world. It does not make
them tougher and more able to take what comes.
This got me to wondering how family life was for her and if it drove her to
use drugs. If she was denied the right to be part of the family and did it also have an
effect on her feelings toward finding her place in society. She responded with a story
about growing up alone with half a family. In her words she goes on to say My
mom was more like a sister than a mother to me. She would wear me cloth and even
drink with me sometimes, not that drinking with your kids is a bad thing but at the
young age of 14 was strange. I first tried marijuana at the age of 11 and by 13 was
using it regularly every day.