Mario Tarango

English 1A, Sec. 9115

Maternal Abandonment Proposal Essay

It has been proven that throughout the world there are various cases of children having to
live their lives without their parents around them. A surprising fact though is that even the
childrens mothers as well as their fathers (or just the mother) are leaving the picture. There have
even been some cases where the mothers would return to their children and would leave again
sometime after. One of these cases are brought to fruition in Reyna Grandes memoir, The
Distance Between Us. Reynas situation with her mother helps us illustrate how exactly
problems like abandonment come to fruition. Certain difficulties that a mother encounters when
being a parent (or even their own personality) come into play on occasions such as these.
Situations like these often lead for a parent to take drastic actions. For example, in neighboring
countries, parents tend to leave their children behind when emigrating to the United States for a
better future. In most cases, the parent sends either money, food, clothes, etc. The situation got to
a point where a large group of children living in another country would be called barrel
children for the things their parents would give them from the states. Although the parents do
put financial effort for the child and/or children, their still not around to care for the them.
Scenarios like these often cause the child or children to doubt whether or not their parent or
parents even care for them let alone love them. This is why a possible solution to this
abandonment issue can be found in the form of educating the parents as to what exactly they are
doing when they leave their child behind in life.
In a memoir titled The Distance between Us, Reyna Grande shares her early life
experiences with the constant comings and goings of her mother when it came to her being there
for her children. To be more specific, Reynas mother left her and her two siblings to emigrate to
the United States in an attempt to aid her husband (Reynas father) in the American dream.
Although Reynas mother promised Reyna and her siblings that she would be back within a year,
it was not long to realize that the three siblings mother was not coming back for some time, if
they were to ever return. This being the case, the three siblings had to learn to get accustomed to
life without a mother figure around. After some time however, just when young Reyna, Mago
(Reynas eldest sister), and Carlos (Reynas elder brother) were finally getting used to life
without their mother around, suddenly she appears with a new sibling for them in hand. The
shock of her mother returning to her life not only puts Reyna in situation of mixed feelings
towards her mother but she must struggle with the fact that her mother wasnt the same woman
who had left. (Grande/76). Some time after, Reynas mother decides to leave her four children
behind once again to start a life with a new man. After these events occur, the mother returns
once again after her previous plans did not end up going well. This coming and going behavior
being expressed by her mother soon ends up affecting Reyna in the form of an inner effort within
herself to do whatever she can to not give her mother to leave her again.
A mother like the one that Reyna had can easily be classified as a difficult mother.
According to a good health association published by the Brauer Media Group, Reynas mother
can be classified as an angry mother due to her sometimes releasing her pent up rage for the
childrens father on the children. A difficult mother can easily bring a negative affect on a childs
life due to the sometimes extreme actions that follow. There are many varieties of a difficult
mother. Cases like the mother being angry, envious, controlling, etc. Mothers like these can are
proven to create a lot of stress for the child which in turn causes the child to go through further
hardship (Good Health). As if that werent enough, there have been cases where the mother just
wants to start fresh and just leave her old life behind (including their child/children). It is this
difficulty that soon leads to the tragedy of abandoned children. However, there are some cases
where a parent whom is emigrating to the United States decides to leave their children behind
thinking that it is the best option since they can send the money they make over to their children
over at their respective nations.
Cases where a parent decides to abandon their child for the American Dream in hopes
that it is what it best for their children has already become very common. There was even a case
in Jamaica where many parents emigrated to the united States without their children and would
send them food and clothes in a barrel (Barrel and Moses). It soon got to a point where these
children would be called barrel children by those around them. Now although these kids would
be able to fend off with food and clothes, they still did not have that closure of a parent being
around them. Time would go by and the children would continue to live on without any parents
there to comfort and guide them through life. Now, of course the barrel children arent left
completely alone but instead dwell with a friend or relative. However, a friend or relative doesnt
do the same as having one of your parents around to take care of you. There is a connection that
children have that only connect with those that were involved in that childs creation. Since this
is the case, some children start to lose hope in much more than just hoping that their parent or
parents do not decide to leave them behind. After awhile, The children start to wonder whether
their parents even care, even going as far as to acquire thoughts of their parents only feeling
obliged to help their children fend for themselves. In other words, do their parents even love
them?
When a child starts to gain thoughts that their parent or parents dont care about them, it
can lead them into a tornado of negative emotions. This was once proven with a small pilot study
that was administered to Anglo-Saxon children between ages six and eight due to the fact that
they children around that age group tend to be excluded from much research (DCruz and
Stagnitti). In this social work study, the children were to draw a picture of how they believe one
would feel if they felt their parents loved them and another picture of the opposite situation.
During the study, Heather DCruz and Karen Stagnitti came across many cases of children
drawing clear distinctions to the two scenarios. Settings from tender love and care of a loving
parent to the cold loneliness of complete abandonment. Scenarios like these only helped
advertise the fact that it is not best for a parent to abandon their children. This is what caused me
to look at any possible solutions that need to come to fruition.
After looking at most of the reasons why a parent would decide to leave their children, I
soon came across a foreign article of Psychological and Mental Health nursing facilities
practicing training programs for proper parenting. I immediately thought of how facilities like
these are formed in the United States and thought that this should be enforced to those parents
who feel that their lives would be better without their child. I say this because I believe that the
only reason that the parent decides to let their child go is because they believe that they are
simply not cut out to take care of their child as a parent should. I believe we can exploit this fact
and use this to help educate societys parents on what it means to be a true parental figure in their
childrens lives. If the parent continues to be difficult and it comes to a point where they even
abandon their child, precautions should be met in the form of making sure that the child go
through the least pain possible in the loss of their parent or parents.
The threat of our generations future has become clear with the continued abandoning of
children from their parents. If actions arent taken towards educating this generations women as
well as men on what their abandoning actually does to their children, we may see many more
saddened children than what we already have in our midst. Now is our chance to take one step
towards a happier society with a generation full of happy faces as well as faces that are content
with life and all its wonders instead of just its shortcomings. Help make a change for the
children of tomorrow as well as the parents of today.



















Works Cited
Grande, Reyna. The Distance Between Us. New York: Washington Square Press, 2012. Print
You & Your Difficult Mother Good Health (ACP Publishing PTY Limited). 2013: 80-83.
Consumer Health Complete EBSCOhost. Web. 5; Mar. 2014
Lamar, Brook, and Knolly Moses. The Barrel Children. Newsweek 127.8. 1996: 45.
Business Source Elite. Web 5. Mar. 2014
DCruz, Heather and Karen Stagnitti. When Parents Love And Dont Love Their Children:
Some Childrens Stories. Child & Family Social Work 15.2. 2010: 216-225. Consumer
Health Complete EBSCOhost. Web. 5. Mar. 2014