Sally Kanu

Professor Camargo

English 1102

14 April 2014

Track Changes

Teenage Pregnancy

Cause, Effect, and Prevention

Teenage pregnancy is on the rise. Who do we blame? Culture, television shows, parents, friends, school, the government? The United States of America takes the lead in the world in inappropriate teenage pregnancies which also leads to some educational and societal consequences. The life of teenage parent may lead to dropping out of school, depending on welfare, poverty stricken, and other hardships (Foster 1990). According to the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy three in ten teenage American girls will get pregnant at least once before the age of twenty. Thats nearly seven hundred and fifty thousand teen pregnancies every year (National Campaign). At the age of seventeen years old I was Miss. Garinger, Senior Prom Queen, accepted to Duke and Chapel Hill, a high school graduate, a college freshman, and a teenage mother. Life took a turn at that double digit age, I didnt know if it was turning for the worse or better. The life as teenage isnt easy. I love my handsome son named Jayden, but the timing of his blessed arrival wasnt particularly the best

REFLECTION

time. Teenagers, roughly 50% of them, never imagined how becoming pregnant would change their lives immediate following the birth of a child (Eleven Facts).

What aspect(s) of formality did you focus on, and why? The use of first person and personal experience in academic writing due to my topic being based on majority of personal experience, knowledge, and being informal: all rules that were broken in regards to writing a formal paper!!!

What do you think of the edited piece? I do not like the edited piece; it sucks the life out of my essay. The introduction is where I received a lot of great feedback and reviews from peers, but in regards to a formal rewrite my whole intro will have to be deleted.

How did changing the level of formality affect your message? The level of formality affects my message greatly in regards to teenage pregnancy and prevention. Being that the topic is based from personal experience, in writing a formal paper I am unable to tell my story.

Do you think youll incorporate any of these strategies in your actual essay? Which ones, and why? Being that the topic is informal and personal I will not incorporate the formal strategies of not using first person and person experiences. I will take in mind to avoid using fluff: contractions, unnecessary words, loaded language, etc.

What is your experience with formality in academic writing? In other words --is this the style/tone you are accustomed to for essays? Do you think youll have to write more like this for other classes? My experience with formal essay has been throughout my whole academic career from Middle to High school, as the teachers stated getting you prepared for college until now with the freestyle of the Extended Inquiry Project. The big NO NO was of course I, first person, bias opinions, and majority of the rules on

REFLECTION the fluff list. In certain cases/topics writing a formal paper is essential to grasp majority of readers attention in the academic and business world!