Olivia Pope Elizabeth Hinnant English 1102-030 25 February 2014 Ethnography Second Draft

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Teachers can make or break a class. If there is a good teacher, the common turnout of a class is positive, and the students will have learned the material successfully. Teachers play an important role in students lives. At a private Christian school, there is a big opportunity for teachers to instill lots of life lessons about life, love, and God into their lessons. Weaving religion into the education setting has a positive effect on the academics. The First Class: I pulled up to the school at nine thirty to sign into the office where they greeted and welcomed me before I walked to the first class. There were flashbacks of the past resonating in my mind of high school experiences while walking through that maze of a school. I reached one big trailer that was divided into one hallway with two bathrooms, and six classrooms in it. The hallway inside was decorated with announcements, posters, colors, bible verses, and encouraging words. This trailer was deemed, The Middle School Modular. Since there was no specific age group being observed, the first class I went to observe was a seventh grade math class. It was really warm in the room, and the class was scheduled to begin at ten oclock. About ten minutes to ten, a girl came into the classroom, set her stuff down in a chair at the front of the classroom, told the teacher she had to go to the office before class and asked the teacher if she wanted her to check her box for her. The teacher said sure, and asked if she would pick up something off the printer for her while she was there. The little girl agreed and then headed out of the room to run her errand.
Comment [B1]: While I do like that youre concise here, I feel like this introduction is a bit abrupt. Try to ease your reader in by giving them some background information, details about the school, or something of the sort.

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Once the clock struck nine fifty five, the hallway was filled with tons of kids making their way to their classes. Lockers were slamming, and books were being thrown down loudly. The door swung wide open as the kids filed in the different classrooms. The teacher politely asked one boy to prop the door open so it wouldnt keep slamming, and he did so willingly, as he continued to converse with his friends before class. All the kids were talking with their friends, and spending the little time that they had before class to be the loud kids that they are at heart. Every few minutes a different student would slam their backpack down as hard as they could, or so it seemed, and it made a horrid, loud noise on the trailer floor. I almost had quite a few heart attacks due to this, but no one else seemed bothered by it, not even the teacher. The teacher asked another little girl to close the door, then proceeded to stand up before the class, turn on the projector, and began speaking at ten oclock on the dot. When the teacher begins talking the class quiets a little at first, but not completely; then all the noise faded away into silence. She began the class by giving a brief overview of what they would do that day. These tasks included going over any questions the students had on the homework, turning in the homework, reviewing a lesson learned before the snow days, and finally, review for a test they had the next class. After her list of things to do, she sat at the desk and took roll. She knew all of the students by heart already and doesnt call out names. She knew who had not been there in quite a while, and asked the class where a specific student had been. One student responded saying that the boy was sick. After taking roll, the teacher announced that she would open with prayer. She prayed that God would bless this day. She thanked God for the blessings that they had, like everyday things that we dont always think about. For example, she thanked God for our ability to think, and our health. She asked God to give her wisdom and clarity as she taught the lesson, and to give her the right words to say. She added to the prayer asking for God to
Comment [B2]: Your writing here is engaging, and I like the amount of detail/description youre using. However, I am still curious when youre going to start making this information pertinent to your argument.

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bless their lunch (they go to lunch in the middle of the class,) and that God would keep everyone safe throughout the rest of their day and during their afterschool activities. She ended the prayer by saying amen. The teacher began the lesson by asking who had homework questions. The class randomly threw out the problems they wanted to be worked. She decided which problems she would answer, and weeded out the ones that were alike and did not need to be done. When she got to each problem, she worked through it, not doing all the work but working through the problem with the students as a guide. There was one specific question that the students did not read the question correctly, and ended up doing more work for themselves. Naturally, they asked her for extra credit. Just as naturally, she denied them of extra credit, laughed, and offered them the satisfaction of being able to do every aspect of the problem if they needed to. On the wall, behind the teachers desk, there is a bible verse quoted that the teacher made. The verse says, He who calls you is faithful. Who will also do it? 1 Thessalonians 5:24. This shows that the teacher feels this verse is important enough to pick out of a passage, and put on the wall as a reminder, because she took the time to cut out all of the letters and numbers, and staple them to her corkboard. Usually when people feel something is important, or take the time to write it out somehow, they believe it, and it influences them in what they are doing. The group of boys sitting together randomly talked amongst themselves, but not loud enough to disturb the teacher. All the students appeared to be engaged in working their problems out. They exchanged their homework problems for each other to grade while the teacher wrote out all the answers. One boy showed another boy his paper, because he drew a funny face on it, and they giggled about it. The teacher decided on the point amount for each problem, and they all passed in their papers.
Comment [B4]: Okay? Why do you think she chose this particular quote? Can you relate it, somehow, to what you see happening in the classroom? I feel like Im missing something here. Comment [B3]: This would be a good place to construct meaning. Why is this information relevant to your argument? How do the students react? Remember not to focus just on telling me whats happening but WHY it matters that its happening.

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They moved on to review. The students had been taught this information before the snow days. In the middle of the lesson, a boy randomly got up while the teacher was teaching and checks if any of the missing homework on the board were his. Then another boy got up to throw his trash away while the teacher was talking. The teacher told them that the getting up in the middle of her teaching a lesson needed to stop. Most of the students were quiet and not talking loudly while the teacher was teaching. There was however an exception to this and that is a group of three boys that sat together. The entire class, they would bounce back and forth between paying attention actively to the lesson, and cutting up with each other. Throughout the class, students would randomly spot me sitting to the side and would spend a few seconds staring at me, then they return to their work, and I did not seem to exist in their mind anymore. I notice

that there are seventeen students in the classroom, to one teacher. For that to be such large ratio, the classroom had a great amount of discipline, and ran very smoothly. It is amazing that one teacher can relate to a large amount of students all at one time. This is amazing, because each individual thinks so differently, learns differently, and has different personalities. It is a great skill that a teacher can be such a good communicator. The teacher was very interactive with the classroom and the students know every answer to the questions the teacher asked. The students all raised their hands when they had a question respectfully. There are two boys sitting together in the back corner of the class that looked bored and tired. Once the teacher had explained everything she needed to explain she offered to teach a shortcut to one type of problem and the students all perked up and started paying more attention, (who does not want a shortcut?) There was a comfortable atmosphere in the classroom. Even though the class was going, everyone was paying attention yet comfortable. This seems important because not all classes have a comfortable atmosphere. Not only was the air in the room a comfortable temperature, but the

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attitudes and interactions between the teacher and students is just comfortable. The students in some ways are not afraid to push buttons, and the teacher is not afraid to reprimand them. For the most part the students do not test the teacher at all. When there were three minutes left until lunch, the whole class started packing up and was ready to go to lunch. One boy stood up and the teacher told everyone they needed to sit down, and that it was not time to leave yet. She asked if they were hungry or something, then laughed. Even when disciplining them and keeping structure, she was light hearted, and kind to her students. While teaching math to seventh graders, the teacher expresses kindness and love in her relationship with her students. They want to learn, and she wants to teach. Over time, usually teachers get better at what they do. Experience has a way of molding us in what we do. It is obvious that this teacher has been teaching for some time now. Studying how weaving religion into education affects the academic atmosphere requires observing the teachers. They are the ones that make the lesson plans. Teachers teach the lessons, and decide what is said during class time. If religion is going to be put into a class, it will be done by the teacher. Teachers are responsible for the information presented to their students, though it is the students choice to actually learn or not. Granted, every teacher has a different style, teaching subject, different students with different learning abilities, disabilities, ways of learning, and personalities of their own. All of these things can potentially disrupt the teaching environment. This is the case especially in public schools; however, in private Christian schools, these categories are all great windows of opportunity for the teacher to incorporate more of lifes lessons, as it relates to religion, during class time. . Second Class:
Comment [B8]: This feels like a conclusion. I didnt expect anything to come after this. Comment [B7]: To an extent, yes. But I dont see you observing religion at all. Comment [B6]: Do you think this is because shes religious? Comment [B5]: At this point in your ethnography (five pages) I should know what youre argument is or at least see you molding it. This last paragraph was quite long and I kept asking myself whats the point of all this information? How does it relate to your argument or to religion?

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The next class was a totally different atmosphere. Not only was there a different teacher, which entails different teaching styles and information, but it was a whole different subject, age group and setting. The students in this class were juniors and seniors in high school. The class rolls in and there was no strict order. Each student got their own art supplies to work on their art project. Each student was doing something different. One guy was painting with watercolors; a lot of guys and girls were making animal figures out of crushed newspaper and masking tape, and painting them. These students were very out spoken and said whatever they wanted to. They could use their phones in class (I thought to look up art, what they are going to draw, inspiration, and also they listen to their music.) The teacher was there for guidance with each different student in different ways. Every student was in a different situation with what theyre working on, what grade they are in, and how they act. The teacher took roll, and already knows who was or was not there. She did not take roll out loud, just to herself because she knew who is who. She asked where a student had been who had been absent more than once. This is the second time I had observed a teacher doing this in a row. When teachers are in such a small scale setting, and have a relationship with their students, there is accountability, and relationship. It is easier to learn from someone that you know and trust, than it is to learn from someone that is a distant figure to you and you will only know for a brief time in their subject. The teacher was there to answer every question, and help in any way that she can. She gave lots of encouragement and pep talks. This class was a lot less structured (due to the subject, which is art). The teacher was looking up art on google images for next class lesson plan, while the students worked independently. She was preparing a slideshow of art that they would be seeing on a field trip to a museum the next class.
Comment [B9]: I still have no idea how any of this pertains to your argument.

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I briefly spoke with a teacher about this realization of needing to change who I observe, and the frustration I was experiencing with that. She gave me an example of a teacher in a private Christian school settings role; this teacher is an artist, and is particularly good at, and spends a lot of time making pottery. She has taught many groups, and classes. She often sells her pottery in art shows on some weekends. She said that if she was teaching a group of girl scouts how to make pottery, she would just do step by step how to make a pot out of clay; but if she was at the school, she can take each step and shed light on God through it all. She uses the example from the bible that God is like the potter, and we are the clay. She can teach God and art simultaneously. It really that takes a special person to teach that way and be successful at it. The first class I observed was a math class. I can see the challenges in incorporating teaching about God with math, but I think it is beautiful and fitting to teach about God in an art class. A history class is a great class to incorporate religion into. Religion has history itself, so teaching, for example world history, the teacher can transition back and forth from what happens in the textbook, to what happens in the bible. Bible classes are also another opportunity that private Christian schools offer. The bible is the way we learn about God, and if a good teacher teaches a bible class, they are directly teaching their students religion itself. Science classes are another great opportunity to weave religion into education, because, for example in anatomy and physiology, the human body is taught. What better way to teach about how God made us each unique, than in that class? The teacher decides how the course of a class goes in one year. Teachers also directly influence whether a student is taught about God or not. classified as good teachers. . If a teacher is good at their job, and has ability to work teaching about God into it, then there is a high chance for success when weaving religion into education. Both teachers that were observed were middle aged women had a lot of experience, and were
Comment [B10]: I think this is one of the first places where you address religion head-on, but I dont understand what youre trying to do here. Comment [B11]: ?

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Olivia, While I think that there are definitely some strengths to this draft (I love the quality of your writing), I dont think youre meeting the assignment guidelines as of yet. While you do a really nice job of working primarily from observation (though do remember that there does need to be SOME interview here as a requirement), I dont understand what your observations mean or why they matter. The whole time I was reading I kept wondering when you were going to tie your observations, which often read more like stories, back to religion/your thesis. I dont think that at this point you ever fully do. I can tell where youre trying to equate religion with teachers but, to be frank, they arent the same thing. Religion in school is enforced through teachers, but the teachers and their teaching styles are not, I believe, the best way to actually observe religion. Your overarching question was supposed to be (if I remember correctly) how does religion function in a school environment. Having read this I still dont feel like I know how religion functions in a school environment. I do know what the students and teachers are like at this particular school, but I dont know what to do with that information. In revision you either need to work on strengthening and constructing your argument throughout the piece, or you need to change your thesis completely and then strengthen and construct your argument from a new standpoint. The primary reason that I wanted you all work with observation 80% is because I wanted you, as writer and as researcher, to learn to make meaning out of objective perceptions. Youve done a great job of documenting these perceptions, but I need to see more molding and shaping taking place.