George Carlin The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You

know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I m !ust not close enough to get the !ob done" #ver notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac$ %nce you leave the womb, conservatives don&t care about you until you reach military age" Then you&re !ust what they&re looking for" Conservatives want live babies so they can raise them to be dead soldiers" 'ust think, right now as you read this, some guy somewhere is gettin& ready to hang himself" You know an odd feeling$ (itting on the toilet eating a chocolate candy bar" )emmy *ilmister +,o you know that there are still clubs in #ngland and -merica where 'ews aren t allowed$ This is a country of denial". Corey Taylor +I want karma to drive stakes into the dark hearts that keep me bitter". +I bet you a handful of Chili s coupons that 'esus had a foot fetish". +The mind is left bereft when it is nothing more than a tool of regurgitation". +/e 0human beings1 are what happens when smart monkeys fuck". +/e are a race of people trying to find answers, and to me, religion is kind of like last year&s textbooks2 out of date with too many notes in the margins from the last fucking guy". 3arilyn 3anson +If you want to find out who your real friends are, sink the ship" The first ones to !ump aren t your friends". #rnest 4emingway +4appiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know". +I love sleep" 3y life has the tendency to fall apart when I m awake, you know$. +There is nothing to writing" -ll you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed". +-ll things truly wicked start from innocence". +-ll thinking men are atheists".