Running head: CULTURAL IMMERSION

My Cultural Immersion into Islam Abiola Stella Oloyede Georgia Southern University Coun 7337 A: Cross-Cultural Counseling May 6, 2013

CULTURAL IMMERSION Introduction Indeed, your Lord is Allah, who created the heavens and earth in six days and then established Himself above the Throne. He covers the night with the day, (another night) chasing it rapidly; and He created the sun, the moon, and the stars, subjected by His command. Unquestionably, His is the creation and the command; blessed is Allah, Lord of the worlds (Surat Al-'A`raf 7:54). Islam is the second largest religion in the world and one of the three Abrahamic religions. Its roots are in Saudi Arabia, with amajority of Muslims living in the Middle East, Asia, and North Africa. Muslims believe in one God, named Allah. They also

believe that the founder of Islam, Muhammad, was the last prophet and messenger sent by Allah to help mankind, leaving the Quran as the verbatim words of God. I grew up with the bias that Muslims were evil people sent to destroy the world being instilled in me from both my Nigerian and American worlds. I vividly remember one of my favorite Yoruba songs when I was a child having in its chorus, Praise be to Allah! To a five year-old, Allah meant God in Yoruba. However, I was told that I was wrong. I was told that Allah was the god that Muslims worshipped and that god was not Jesus Christ. I grew up to later realize that I was right; Allah does mean God, but just in Arabic. I began casually looking into Islam when I was a sophomore in college. I was taking a multitude of Religious Studies classes, so it was inevitable that studying Islam would happen. I began to see how many similarities Islam and Christianity had between themselves. As I would listen to women in Islam speak about their religion, I could hear the same love, admiration, and tenderness in their voices that I heard in mine whenever I would discuss my relationship with God and Christ. I would see the sincerity and honest worship in their eyes during recordings of them in prayer. Then, I attended a forum on World Religions and a Muslim read from the Quran,

CULTURAL IMMERSION and it was so beautiful and poetic that it hit me: Islam is a beautiful and peaceful religion. It just has radical practitioners in it, just like Christianity (or maybe it should be said the other way around).

I chose to be culturally immersed into the Nation of Islam for two reasons: 1) Islam is the largest religion practiced in Nigeria, my home country. There has to be a reason for this religion to be bigger than Christianity there. 2) Islam receives so much negative feedback from the media, society, my religion, and my family. Yet, so many people in the world still practice this religion. How could this religion sustain itself on hate? How could millions of people find strength and goodness in evil? It did not make sense that the purest smiles I have ever seen came from people who found peace and joy in terrorism. Since I chose to embrace the fact that Islam has healthy and positive fundamental principles before immersing myself, I was well aware that I was running a high risk of shaking (and possibly shattering) my personal conviction in Christianity. Choosing to be immersed in Islam was not a high risk because I hate everything Muslims stand for; in fact, it is because I find so much goodness and love within Islam that immersing myself in it was risky. I hate even calling it risky because that connotes that converting to that belief system would be wrong or bad. Nevertheless, I am well aware that choosing to further explore something that I am becoming fond of is indeed risky to my current sense of self and spiritual belief. Christians are often called bigots, hypocrites, and judgmental, but never terrorists and evil. From my familial and cultural lens, Muslims See the light and convert to Christianity, not the other way around; that would be considered backsliding. Therefore, if I find a genuine home in Islam and consider converting, I run a major risk of being persecuted by my family and culture.

CULTURAL IMMERSION Anticipation I did not have many expectations of what I would experience during my cultural immersion. I wanted to come into the mosque with an open heart and mind so that I would be able to receive whatever God had placed there for me to receive. Though I had no specific expectations, I did choose to do my homework and prepare myself for what I should do before

attending the mosque. I am well aware that Muslim women wear burkas and hijabs, and I have a countless amount of scarves and Pashminas. However, I had no idea how to tie a scarf to make it a hijab and I did not want to appear as though I were mocking and disrespecting an important aspect of both the Islamic faith and Muslim culture. So, I went on YouTube for hijab-tying tutorials and tried my best to emulate the best depictions of the hijabs that I saw. It was not an easy task to accomplish, because though I have the scarves, I do not own a hijab headband or any pins to keep the scarf in place. In my ignorance, I always thought that the women just tied the scarf in a manner that just afforded for it to stay in place on their heads no matter what. I was wrong and frustrated during the learning process, but I did my best to replicate a traditional hijab. Description of Event As I drove down Veterans Memorial Parkway, looking for the Bulloch County Islamic Center, I was excited beyond belief. It was a bright Friday afternoon, the sun was shining radiantly through my cars windows and the clouds looked like the fluffiest mounds of cotton balls in the baby blue sky. As my iPhone helped me navigate my way to the center, I became lost and confused. I ended up at a gas station with my phone repeatedly telling me, You have reached your destination! Surely the Muslims of Bulloch County were not conducting their Jumaa prayers in the back of a QuikStop. I finally found my way to a rundown ranch-style house. Finding no sign telling me where I was, I turned in the road that led to the house and saw a

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parking lot holding four cars. On one of the cars were two older men with taqiyahs, or skullcaps, on their heads holding a casual conversation. As I drove closer I saw that they were both wearing traditional Muslim vests and trousers, and I knew that I was finally at the right place. It was not until I was hesitantly walking up to the older men that so many thoughts hit me at once. Shoot! I forgot my pashmina! Should I walk up to these men? I know how serious the Muslim culture is about a womans submission. Would they take kindly to a young Black girl assertively speaking to them? Maybe I should just come back at another time; Im already late as is. Even with those thoughts, I still approached the men with a timid, excuse me? They were speaking in another language and both turned around to face the weak, questioning voice. The man closest to me had an annoyed expression on his face as though I had just interrupted his sleep and not his conversation. The other man had a friendly demeanor, so I made eye contact with him. Is that culturally acceptable? Are you sure you can look him in his eyes, Stella? I did it anyway. I asked if I was at the Bulloch County Islamic Center. He smiled and nodded. I asked if the Jumaa prayers were still going on. He turned, looked in the house, and said a curt, yes. Then I asked if I could go in and it was the annoyed looking man who answered with a sharp, yet welcoming, Of course! When I walked in, I saw the beginnings of a worship center. The outside was rundown and the inside looked like a work in progress. There was no furniture in plain sight, except for a bookcase right across from me.I could hear singing, but no one was up and moving around. Since I am left-handed, my initial instinct is always to look to the left of me. I was standing on a wooden divide in the room, and to the left of me (and in the front of the room) were seven men on carpet silently on their hands and knees as a young man stood in front of them singing in what I assumed to be Arabic. Is this just a prayer for men? Am I really going to be the only woman

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here? Maybe I should leave I closed the door and saw to my right (and in the back of the room) two young girls with burkas on; one patted the carpet beside her with a warm smile on her face telling me to sit beside her. No one had shoes on and a shoe rack full of shoes was sitting right beside me by the door. But I still walked to the side of the young girl with my shoes on. Sitting down, I saw that I was the oddball out and took my yellow sandals off, laying them on the carpet. It was then that I heard Surat Al-'A`raf 7 verse 55, Call upon your Lord in humility and privately; indeed, He does not like transgressors. Immediately, I thought of Matthew 6:6, But you, when you pray, go into your room, and when you have shut your door, pray to your Father who is in the secret place; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you openly. It was then that my attention was fully grabbed (New International Version). As the prayers continued I found myself straining to understand the young mans thick Middle Eastern accent my mind would drift as he would whiningly read from the Quran in song, but I would always come to when he would poetically translate the scripture into English. Once again, my thoughts about the beauty and peace within Islam were confirmed. When everyone was getting up, the girl beside me moved my sandals and purse. I did not understand why, so I just went with it. I stood when they stood, I knelt when they knelt, and I turned my head when they turned theirs. I did not repeat anything that they said because they were praying Arabic and I do not understand that tongue at all. Instead, I prayed to receive and see what I was meant to through this immersion. After the prayers, we were given rice and beef. The young lady who gestured for me to sit beside her, Nadia Dreid, told me and the other girl beside her that we came on the right day because they never have food. The rice was white and red and had potato chunks in it. It was cold and smelled like jasmine and curry. I tried my best to find it interesting and good, but I was

CULTURAL IMMERSION not hungry. As I played with my food I noticed all of the very apparent Middle Eastern and Muslim artwork in the house. Nadia explained that the center used to be a dance studio, so they took down all of the wall mirrors, painted over the areas the paint was ripped off, and have been

trying to spruce the place up with artwork they found at a Muslim art gallery in Atlanta. She said she knows they have not done the best job painting, but the splotches of coffee paint around the center adds character. The frames of artwork were old gold and bronze with Arabic letterings, the Quran, or mosques in them. The people were so kind to me. Warm and welcoming they asked me if I wanted more rice (I kindly declined); asked me why I was there and if they could be of any service to me; politely explained things to me about both the culture and religion of Islam; as well as explained away some of the myths that I had learned and thought about Islam. I met another Muslim girl named Aya and we talked about the similarities between Nigerians and Iranians. The young man that was leading the prayers, Ahmed Bekhit, introduced himself to me and we held a conversation about other resources that I could look into to find out more about Islam and the Muslim culture. I exchanged information with him and Nadia before I left. I went back to the center the following week for another experience of the Jumaa prayers. My initial visit was during the 2:30pm prayer and Nadia told me that the 1:30pm prayer was always packed out to the point that they would have to use the overflow room. When I came to the 1:30 prayer I had a rather different experience. Though the prayer was not overflowed like Nadia said it would be, I had to go to the separated part of the house for the women to pray. This time I knew to immediately take off my shoes upon entering the prayer room. Children were running around during the entire prayer, causing it to be very distracting and difficult to hear the prayers on the flat screen television and speakers that were used to simulcast the prayers in the

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mens room. No one spoke to me except for a woman who asked if anyone was sitting beside me. I came silently, participated in the prayers, and left as silently as I came in. Comparison & Contrast The biggest difference between Christianity and Islam that I noticed was the obvious division of power and importance between the men and women. The men were the ones in the front receiving the full attention of the message. It made me feel as though they were the main focus of who receive the prayers. The women were submissively in the back of the prayer room, and as I later found out, secluded from where the men were. In Christianity, while it may be preached and practiced, the display of a submissive woman is subtle and depends on the churchs culture. Taking off my shoes to worship and pray was new as well; Christians do not have such a rule of respect or reverence while praying. Muslim men and women cover their heads as a sign of reverence, but in Christianity it is considered a form of disrespect for men to keep their hats on when in a church and in prayer. Upon reflection, I realized that the major differences deal with the different cultures of the religions. While there are some fundamental differences in the practices of Christians and Muslims (Jesus being the Son of God and not just a prophet, Muhammad being the last prophet sent by God, the resurrection of Jesus), there are still many similarities within the religions principles and scriptures. The same peace and strength that I receive from reading the Bible was felt as I listened to the Quran readings. I heard many verses from the Quran that I could easily and readily find a comparable interpretation in the Bible. Most importantly, I found a stark similarity in how dedicated followers of both religions have found a sense of purpose within their practices. When I heard Nadia say the prayers, there was no malice in her voice, but a calm desperation that I could certainly relate to.

CULTURAL IMMERSION Interview While everyone was eating, and as I struggled with my full plate of rice, I started talking

to Nadia about her faith. She explained to me that being Muslim is more than a religion to her, it is her culture. She is Iranian-American and tries her hardest to be a devout Muslim.Her family is Muslim, pray five times a day, and practice Ramadan. She told me that she and Ahmed are the president and vice president of Georgia Southerns MSA, Muslim Student Association. She thenexpoundedupon what was happening when they turn their heads to the right and the left they are saying, Peace be upon you and God's blessings. When they raise their hands up, they are saying, "Allahu Akbar." Then they bow and say three times, "Subhana rabbiyal adheem" or Glory be to my Lord Almighty.Those prayers translations are just lovely and powerful to me. As she was writing the prayers down for me, she told me that nothing but the prayer rugs and people were allowed on the carpets because they were considered holy during the times of prayer. That explained why she moved my sandals and purse in front of us to the wooden divide. When I was asking her questions I got a sense that she was getting a bit annoyed with them. I must admit that because I was trying to culturally immerse myself I may have overdid it with the questions I was asking. Everything had a symbolic, Muslim meaning to them in my head and Nadia would just respond with an, I dont know. I suppose they just wanted to do it that way. It then hit me that I was doing to her what I hate people doing to me when they ask me questions about Nigerians and Africans as a whole; I was expecting her to know everything that was Islam and be the voice of her religion and culture. As a counselor-in-training I am aware that my approach to the questions could be rather problematic because I would be expecting my clients to be and know more than they possibly do about their religions. Though I may feel like my intentions are in the right place and I am just

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trying to be culturally sensitive, I might make my client feel uncomfortable when he or she does not know how to answer my questions. Although religion was not discussed in Brammer, based upon the Religion lecture in class I am becoming more conscious of how to frame my questions on religion and spirituality to my clients. It is my goal as a counselor to not put my clients in a spiritual/religious box, but to facilitate in their interpretation and explanation of what they believe in. I am working on how to be sensitive and respectful of the fact that even my language can reflect a majority group mentality and (further) marginalize my clients. Conclusion I learned from my experience that learning more about a religion does not have to shake my world and change my views 180 degrees. I can learn about a religion and appreciate its belief system without claiming it as my own. There is beauty in the practice of Islam as there is in Christianity, Buddhism, and others. I found life in Christianity as so many others find life in Islam. There are radical followers in Islam, but that does not make Islam itself radical. Islam is about a personal relationship and determination to do better for the Creator, Allah, not about the judgment of those who do not feel the same way. I learned that it is more that possible to integrate more spiritual views into my own in order to be a more whole person and competent counselor. As I listened to the English translations of the Quran I fell more in love with my relationship with God than denounced Christianity. It made me happy to see and know that more people see the wonder and beauty in God as I do, and are striving to do nothing more than remain in His presence and favor in their own way. Islams main language is Arabic and I feel as though that is what makes people who are against the religion so venomous toward it; they cannot understand what is being said, so they write it off as though what is being preached is evil. When in all actuality, it could be the

CULTURAL IMMERSION equivalent of someone reading the Bible in Yoruba to someone who does not understand the language. People fear what they do not know, but rarely ever seek understanding.

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Overall, I learned to always strive to recognize my biases and work toward equity within my interpersonal interactions. I know that I cannot and will not treat everyone with true equality, but I should still make an effort to give everyone their space to be fully human and fully themselves. Learning about how people receive me and what I project about myself was very eye-opening to my personal development. I am becoming less afraid to have conversations that normalize what people shy away from discussing (sexuality, poverty, race, etc.). I have come to the realization that my life as a counselor is never going to be separated from my life as a person. Everything must be integrated; my words and actions must be congruent to what I know is right, just, and wise. I cannot take days off from being a freedom fighter, an activist of almost every kind, or an advocate for justice and equality. My voice is not only important, but it is precious and full of influence. So I must use it wisely and boldly. Lastly, I learned that I still have a lot more learning to do, and that if I use everything that I learn from, my growth will be constant.