Too tired 5 versions Original: Wrestling with crates preparing for dawn Everything is right here but from

my grasp its all gone Wishing to arrange my belongings in order The classroom of the next morning seeming so distant The flickering candle becomes shorter and shorter am switched into sleep mode in an instant !wakened by the chant of the rooster sit up in my haystack and yawn "emember to pop my placebo for a #uick energy booster $tumble out back into the lawn Trying to open wide my eyes !nd look to the sky in disdain On the brink of earths demise %ow am supposed to fly in this rain &ecoming dampened with this spray fail to find even one glimmering ray t must be the transition between the seasons !lthough ponder a couple possible reasons drew a graph to explain why The morning is really starting to drag !ll the dreaming on top the clouds in the sky !nd thats why have this 'et lag

(st revision: Wrestling with crates preparing for dawn)the rising sun Everything is right here but from my grasp its all gone) in another world Wishing)taking action to arrange my belongings in order The classroom of the next morning seeming so distant)out of my reach The flickering candle becomes shorter and shorter am switched into sleep mode in an instant !wakened by the chant of the rooster sit up in my haystack and yawn "emember to pop my placebo for a #uick energy booster)'olt in my step $tumble out back into the lawn Trying to open wide my eyes !nd look to the sky in disdain)frowning On the brink)edge of earths demise)falling down %ow am supposed to fly in this rain &ecoming dampened with this spray

fail to find even one glimmering ray t must be the transition)shifting atmosphere between the seasons !lthough ponder)scratch my head about a couple possible reasons drew a graph to explain why The morning is really starting to drag !ll the dreaming)restless activity of my brain on top the clouds in the sky !nd thats why have this 'et lag

*nd revision: Wrestling with crates+ preparing for dawn, Everything is right here+ but from my grasp its all gone, Wishing to arrange my belongings in order, The classroom of the next morning seeming so distant, The flickering candle becomes shorter and shorter, am switched into sleep mode in an instant, !wakened, &y the chant of the rooster+ sit up in my haystack and yawn, "emember to pop my placebo for a #uick energy booster, $tumble out back into the lawn, Trying to open wide my eyes+ !nd look to the sky in disdain, On the brink of earths demise+ how am supposed to fly in this rain&ecoming dampened with this spray fail to find even one glimmering ray t must be the transition between the seasons, !lthough ponder a couple possible reasons, drew a graph to explain why the morning is really starting to drag,

!ll the dreaming on top the clouds in the sky and thats why have this 'et lag,

.rd revision: Wrestling with crates preparing for dawn Everything is right here but from my grasp its all estranged, Wishing to arrange my belongings in order The classroom of the next morning seeming so distant The flickering candle of cinnamon scent becomes shorter and shorter am switched into sleep mode in an instant !wakened by the uncharming chant of the rude rooster sit up in my cold+ damp haystack and yawn "emember to pop my placebo for a #uick energy booster $tumble out back into the lawn Trying to open wide my eyes !nd look to the sky in disdain On the brink of earths demise %ow am supposed to fly in this rain &ecoming dampened with this musty spray fail to find even one glimmering ray t must be the transition between the seasons !lthough ponder a couple possible reasons drew a graph to explain why The morning is really starting to drag !ll the dreaming on top the clouds in the sky !nd thats why have this 'et lag

/th revision: Wrestling with crates preparing for dawn Everything is right here but from my grasp its all estranged, Wishing to arrange my belongings in order The classroom of the next morning seeming so distant The flickering candle of cinnamon scent becomes shorter and shorter am switched into sleep mode in an instant !wakened by the uncharming chant of the rude rooster sit up in my cold+ damp haystack and yawn "emember to pop my placebo for a #uick energy booster

$tumble out back into the lawn Trying to open wide my eyes !nd look to the sky in disdain On the brink of earths demise %ow am supposed to fly in this rain &ecoming dampened with this musty spray fail to find even one glimmering ray t must be the transition between the seasons !lthough ponder a couple possible reasons drew a graph to explain why The morning is really starting to drag !ll the dreaming on top the clouds in the sky !nd thats why have this 'et lag

The first revision was a homework assignment, went through the poem and highlighted the words felt were abstract in red, was surprised how many found, ended up with eleven words total that can be considered abstract, t was tougher than thought to turn a lot of the abstractions into concrete language, $ometimes abstractions can coincide with clich0s or familiar words overused, think that when said wishing to arrange my belongings in order that wishing is probably a clich0 in that sentence, $o feel by changing that part it strengthened it even more, The concrete words are in green font, This exercise taught me to think deeper than the first word that comes to my mind, t is much more difficult to explain something concretely that have accepted as being abstract my whole life, learned that anything can be put into concrete language with a little imagination and patience, really did like the effect of better imagery that the concrete words had, This is when really experienced the importance of using concrete words and creating images, noticed that for a poem about being tired and disorgani1ed+ the poem looked pretty organi1ed+ so my mission for my second revision was to make the form match the content, accomplished this effect by en'ambing many of the lines, The wide variation of line lengths makes it look more scattered and unorgani1ed like my belongings, The lines also become shorter and shorter when talking about the candle getting shorter and shorter, added a space before was awakened to designate the time sleeping, The first word is awakened all by itself to show the delay in becoming alert in the morning before the poem continues, also added punctuation because did not have any in my original poem, The part about the transition between the seasons leave transition on the line by itself to show the separation of the seasons, En'ambing the lines and playing with the spacing of key parts accomplished my goal of matching the form with the content even better than expected, There were #uite a few rhymes in this poem+ but wanted to see what other sound devices could include, 2or my third revision+ changed gone in line two to estranged, This creates assonance with arrange in line three, n line seven add modifiers of uncharming to chant and rude to rooster, These also add consonance+ assonance and alliteration, 2or this revision also wanted to bring the senses into the poem more, added that the candle has a cinnamon scent to it, added that the haystack that slept in is cold and damp, added that the spray outside is musty, added several instances of senses to the poem, also liked how doing this added extra details that described the setting better and emphasi1ed the tone of mostly being surrounded by things that are not en'oyable, n my fourth revision+ broke the poem up into stan1as, utili1ed a

combination of couplets+ tercets+ abd #uatrains, liked the effect it had+ especially breaking up the consecutive lines of falling asleep and then waking back up,